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Voice therapy Madness

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Yes, you heard me, madness!!!!!

Part 1:   Well, maybe you didn't hear me. I went on a trip recently and quite honestly I had to repeat everything I said twice about 95% of the time. Just recently, I became frustrated and started saying things twice before they could even say "what." Strangers seem to hear me better than family. I truly think it is not my volume. I'm starting to wonder if the newer pitch is harder to hearor focus on. Then again, I'm getting a lot of, "Oh I heard you, but was thinking of something else." Is the higher pitch harder to command attention? Is it naturally respected less?

Part 2:  Yes, I am doing voice therapy. My reading voice is actually not too bad. My therapist says it sounds female. My normal speaking voice in conversation is lower, not so great. Like many things you don't do well, we tend not to love doing things we aren't proficient at. I don't love my new voice, not even like it. I tend to fall back to a middle ground voice when around someone I'm not totally at ease with. I don't want to do this despite not liking the new voice, but I do it over and over. I  get so mad at myself. It is a feeling (maybe a deep transphobia thing) that I am lowering my stature by using the highest (reading type) voice. I drive it lower to the voice I've used for the past three years (androgenous sounding).  I have tried talking in front of a mirror, trying to associate the new voice to my face. I try practicing, walking around the house near other people to not practice in isolation. I don't know what to do to take ownership. Is it just a matter of getting better, more practice? Anyone have any ideas? Is there a way to mentally accept that you won't look odd to people if you use the best voice? I will be honest, I have always had a fear of sounding like a gay man. (Damn TV stereotype instilled fear. ) I really am frustrated and upset that I can't get this. For context , I have gone once a week, 30 minutes for the last 6 weeks or so. She seems pleased with progress and says I am capable of getting to a good pitch with good range. Thanks if anyone has any thoughts on part 1 or 2 or 3 added below.

Part 3: Also, is female inflection difficult  around people who you used to be masculine to, like a son or male buddy? I can't do it around my son.  Afraid of weirding him out! Am I the only one like this?



Keep practicing, we need to learn by doing.

It is futile for me to trying to make any reasonable judgment of my female voice if I try to listen to it WHILE I am talking, so I have to record it, then listen.  What I have noticed is that I am getting better, for a lack of a scientific term, at matching how my voice muscles/ nasal reasonance / tongue placement / voice projection is when I sound female or close to it.  Let us simply call all of that "muscle memory" for what needs to be for my voice to sound female.

I think that is the key because if you know how that "muscle memory" feels like, then doing that produces the better female voice.  Now, of course, I am still working my way to that better female voice, so as it begins to sound better, then I would need to remember how that new "muscle memory" feels.  Then continue to refine my voice.

Practice, practice practice. Lessons are good.  Practice is good. 

Too much though and it strains my voice.  If I can get the female voice down pat, then endurance or sustaining it would be great.  Practicing with ever increasing talking, that is, a word, then two, then phrases, then sentences... That helps me with the sound of the voice, as well as endurance. 

I have a long way to go.  But that is okay.  I am a patient woman.


Be glad that you have a voice.   For the last 10 days I might be able to muster something that sounds like an anemic chain saw.
A few of us ladies meet occasionally on a skype chat session,  and talk about everyday subjects,  we agreed that we will correct each other in a constructive manner, if we slip off intk a male speaking pattern.   Some of the ladies had a real deep and booming male voice, and they now have a natura l soundi g female voice.  Nobody of us had surgery or speech training,  it's all done autodiactive.  We have lots of fun and go on for hours while being able to speak in a natural setting.
I am lucky,  because I always had a rather high pitched voice, and I had to correct my speach pattern only, but I can now yell in my female voice as loud as I could with my male voice, and am able to call my dog in, even if she is at the other end. of the acre lot.
You might want to consider something similar,  or join our group.

Chrissy, sorry I can't quote on this stupid tablet I am using while in bed trying to get healthy again.
your muscle memory builds up faster than you think! It is almost like wam,  one morning you wake up and talk in you female voice.  It is important not to fall back into your male speech once that has happened,  you have to keep it up all day long and take it to bed with you.
I am at the point, at which my throat hurts, when I do guys talk, it feels hard and strange to me!
You can do it,  our voice box is so flexible,  we can create almost any sound with it (I seem to currently try to sound like a chainsaw,  a female one that is)

Not being cruel but.....(don't you love that!)

Every time you hate your voice remind yourself that I would do a swap in an instant! Then practice more because you wouldn't like the swap  >:-)

You are use to hearing a particular voice in your head and until you break through that headspace nothing sounds quite right, try hard to imagine your new voice sound not just practice a pitch but imagine the sound until it becomes dominant.


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