Author Topic: Do you find that you generally get less respect as a woman?  (Read 300 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline CosmicJoke

  • Friend
  • ****
  • Posts: 219
  • Reputation: +2/-0
  • Gender: Female
Do you find that you generally get less respect as a woman?
« on: August 04, 2020, 11:52:07 am »
Hi everyone. If there was one thing I wish I knew before transitioning it would probably be this. Other than that there's nothing I don't love about being a woman. Was I respected as a boy? Not really, but I do recognize the so called "male privilege" in certain situations.
There are people who treat me well and then there are those who treat me with no respect. I think that's kind of just how life works, but I don't think "male privilege" is a good enough reason to stay male and hide who I really am.
That's just my thoughts on it, but has anyone else here noticed that in certain situations you are treated differently as a woman? These could be good or bad by the way.

Offline RobynD

  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,997
  • Reputation: +14/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Do you find that you generally get less respect as a woman?
« Reply #1 on: August 04, 2020, 12:52:27 pm »
Yeah, I've reflected on this quite a bit. You do lose Male Privilege in many instances, but it also depends on the culture, the subculture, the geography, the contexts, etc. But then I think, "do I really want to benefit from something that is not justifiably there?" "What does that say about me If I am ok with that?" I was respected, presenting as a male, in my career, as the "traditional head" of the family etc, perhaps I am respected less in some circles, but that is small in comparison to being my actual self. In some circles, I'm respected a lot more.

Generally, the world is getting more egalitarian in attitude if not yet practice, with some steps back among the steps forward. The older attitudes die out with the older people. We are constantly evolving and reacting to the greater world in terms of gender and culture.




Offline TanandaTheTrollop

  • Newbie
  • **
  • Posts: 16
  • Reputation: +1/-0
Re: Do you find that you generally get less respect as a woman?
« Reply #2 on: August 04, 2020, 08:36:53 pm »
The axiom of being a girl is...
DA DA DAA!
You are a girl, and everything that goes with it.
Yes, from some there is less respect but generally, hmmm, yeah I just don’t know. For me, I don’t think so. Okay, men are men and yes some can be quite disrespectful, I have to say most are very attentive. They see us as different and like us because we are different. Maybe it is just our perspective, not yours or mine but the male and female perspective, we see things differently. Transition at its very minimum is a paradigm shift, I am not sure you can go from one gender presentation to another without feeling it.
  Here is why I personally don’t believe we get less respect then we had as men, what little it happens is offset by the acceptance by the rest of the population. It is far from a loss, it is a gain like no other. Not inclusion, but an acceptance that says, You are one of us. They know, everything you might feel as a woman now they have lived and they understand. I kinda feel like I have gained more respect since I transitioned, from people who actually see me.
  Have I been talked down to, ignored, treated like an idiot that couldn’t possibly understand what they are talking about, sure. I live in a different world now though, my friends and I will occasionally complain about it but more often than not, laugh at those people.
  It is not a perfect world but, it is getting better I hope. At least I understand my place in it now.

TtT

Offline Rakel

  • Formerly known as Dani
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 3,253
  • Reputation: +44/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Rakel@susans.org
Re: Do you find that you generally get less respect as a woman?
« Reply #3 on: August 04, 2020, 09:28:21 pm »
When I was in the early stages of my transition, I received many insults, but I expected this.

Now, I never get treated like that any more. In fact, I get treated with all the common courtesies of any woman my age.

I really don't believe in Male Privilege as anything official. Any woman who is assertive can earn just as much respect as an assertive man. If you carry yourself with genuine respect and authority, people will recognize that.



Offline noleen111

  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,084
  • Reputation: +19/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Do you find that you generally get less respect as a woman?
« Reply #4 on: August 05, 2020, 05:22:57 am »
suppose it comes with the territory

We all want to be seen as a women by society , so I suppose there are negatives attached to that along with the positives.

for me, in the work place, no.. as I work in a dress shop, and it mostly a female working environment.. in life in general.. well in a hardware store and i treated like I am stupid.,..

but then I have played the damsel in distress card before in other parts of life. Show a bit of leg or cleavage and men will do anything for you...  Previous posts of spoken of loosing male privilege, but I think we do gain a female privilege, the female body shape is a powerful weapon  ;D

In the end confidence will determine how you are respected in life.
Enjoying ride the hormones are giving me... finally becoming the woman I always knew I was

Offline Nadine Spirit

  • Little Mrs. Snarky
  • Newbie
  • **
  • Posts: 22
  • Reputation: +2/-0
  • Gender: Female
    • Unordinary Style
Re: Do you find that you generally get less respect as a woman?
« Reply #5 on: August 05, 2020, 07:00:30 am »
The thing about privileges is that there are many of them, not just "male privilege."  Male privilege exists, but so does female privilege, and many of the "types" of privilege, with the strongest one imo being financial.  Most privilege is extended to others and not something someone can take.  It can be accepted, but not really demanded.  At least my thoughts on it. 

I had some privileges as a male, but not as many as others.  For even within the male world of privilege there is a hierarchy of sorts..... taller, larger, more muscular, deeper voice, etc gives you more privileges.  I was never seen as a manly man and thus my ranking among other males was relatively low.  So I was seen by others as a "lesser" male and thus lower on the totem pole as it were. 

But as female I have for sure lost some privileges.  An example was that I called an AC repair guy to my house shortly after I transitioned.  The AC was unexpectedly quitting and not properly cooling the house.  The repair guy never bothered to check the AC unit, he looked at the thermostat and said something like "well Miss, the problem is your thermostat is not properly set, here let me reprogram it for you."  I tried explaining why he was incorrect, but he would not hear it.  He reprogrammed my thermostat, and said he had solved the problem and then demanded his $200 payment for work complete.  Ugh!  I INSTALLED the thermostat, I'm pretty sure I know how to operate it! Ugh!!!  Yes this might have happened when I was presenting as male, but it never had before and as well, it has happened multiple times since then with very diverse people. 

There are some nice privileges as well...... like people holding doors open for me, people going out of their way to be more helpful to me, workers assuming I can't lift things into my truck and choosing to load it for me, most men will step out of my way while shopping, walking, etc.  So there are a few good things also. 

Offline Cloudy Puff

  • Friend
  • ****
  • Posts: 114
  • Reputation: +2/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • =P
Re: Do you find that you generally get less respect as a woman?
« Reply #6 on: Yesterday at 03:55:42 am »
It's a woman thing, and it's a transgender thing, Which means we face more disrespect than most cis women. I have been nearly assaulted at least twice now by men who are homophobic, but they didn't notice I am trans before they asked for my number. I also get a lot of men telling me how I feel about something and it's always wayyy off from how I actually feel.

NO DISRESPECT! I noticed that black men are the worst offenders when it comes to Trans folks. Especially in lower income areas where they learn to act a certain way. It can feel like you lost a battle before it even started, simply for existing and choosing happiness over turmoil. I typed this as my super gentlemanly-cute black boyfriend sleeps next to me, I am merely sharing an opinion and I do not have racist tendencies. I surprised myself bigtime when I realized how much I like black men. It makes total sense when I look at fantasies I carried with me since a teenager. You never know what advantages/disadvantages you have with any given man. I had a white couple scare me half to death after they lured me to a "3's night" The one who invited me must have had serious inner turmoil about seeing me, and 10 minutes after I arrived he was screaming in my face that he "Wasn't going to let me MAKE him gay" I was shaking like a leaf.

Be careful girls!


~Love
~Bailey

Offline Cloudy Puff

  • Friend
  • ****
  • Posts: 114
  • Reputation: +2/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • =P
Re: Do you find that you generally get less respect as a woman?
« Reply #7 on: Yesterday at 04:06:03 am »
Wanted to add more.

I experienced what it's like to be taken against my will. Careful around people who have anger/self control problems, especially if they are intoxicated. Careful who you get in a car with, don't be afraid to make demands. I have experienced a LOT of men trying to solicit me and'or follow me. I walk for exercise and it is almost guaranteed to happen every time I walk. Some people like that can do serious harm. I highly recommend bringing at least some level of protection. Personally, I carry mace and sometimes a small folding knife. Use whatever you are comfortable with, and check if it's legal to carry (Sorry Canada =P)

Exploring the social aspects of the opposite gender is something I find very interesting. Listen to your instincts, they will steer you to safety. And use the knowledge from your past life to your advantage.

Offline Cloudy Puff

  • Friend
  • ****
  • Posts: 114
  • Reputation: +2/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • =P
Re: Do you find that you generally get less respect as a woman?
« Reply #8 on: Yesterday at 04:22:54 am »
One more thing ladies...

Learn from your past actions and new experiences to be more respectful to women yourself. I thought I was a nice guy back then, but I was in fact clueless about how to treat women.

Heaps and HEAPS of LOVE!~
Bailey Jane~

Offline Haley Conner

  • *
  • Posts: 594
  • Reputation: +3/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Do you find that you generally get less respect as a woman?
« Reply #9 on: Yesterday at 06:44:00 am »
@CloudyPuff, Homophobes are some seriously angry / disturbed people!  Every time I encounter one, I end up asking myself this same question: " Am I going to have to fight this guy? ".

Online Devlyn

  • The Forum Administrator
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 30,499
  • Reputation: +235/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • devlynmarie@susans.org
Re: Do you find that you generally get less respect as a woman?
« Reply #10 on: Yesterday at 06:49:49 am »
One more thing ladies...

Learn from your past actions and new experiences to be more respectful to women yourself. I thought I was a nice guy back then, but I was in fact clueless about how to treat women.

Heaps and HEAPS of LOVE!~
Bailey Jane~

I was thinking the same thing. A secondary question to this thread should be:

Did you treat everyone with equal respect regardless of their race, gender, religious beliefs, etc, before AND after transition/learning who you are?
Veteran, US Army

Offline Rakel

  • Formerly known as Dani
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 3,253
  • Reputation: +44/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Rakel@susans.org
Re: Do you find that you generally get less respect as a woman?
« Reply #11 on: Yesterday at 07:40:14 pm »
I was thinking the same thing. A secondary question to this thread should be:

Did you treat everyone with equal respect regardless of their race, gender, religious beliefs, etc, before AND after transition/learning who you are?

I try to do just that, but in reality, some people make this a challenge for me to do. I start out with equal respect for everybody, then when an individual proves me wrong, I change my mind.

As a woman, I reserve the right to change my mind anytime I want.  ;D



Tags: