Author Topic: Just another mtf tale  (Read 5649 times)

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Offline Ellie_Arroway

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Re: Just another mtf tale
« Reply #20 on: October 05, 2019, 04:29:47 pm »
OK...

Profile photo finally of me dressed up!

I went out fully clothed (mostly female, the only male attire I was wearing was my knickers) and just went for a drive! There was no aim to the drive other than proving I could do it.

I had kind of anticipated that it wouldn't be scary based on how it was when I took the bins out last week, and I was right! It also felt perfectly natural.

Now, about the photo. I know there's work to do. I imagine people could tell very quickly from the image that I was a man dressed up rather than a woman. I need to improve my makeup skills and I need to get rid of the chest hair. I have an epilator coming tomorrow so that should help with that.

I'm still working on the facial hair with my IPL device. I'm hoping that will be defeated soon. I'm not sure how obvious it was; I put some compressed powder over it. I know you're meant to use some form of orange concealer but I don't have that yet.

I was wearing ankle boots on my feet. I'm not sure about driving in heels. I don't know if the ankle boots go with the dress, but safety's more important than anything else.

Anyway, another small step for a woman...  :)
Started seriously questioning: 24 Aug 2019
Referred to GIC: 23 Sep 2019
Full-time female presentation since: 21 Oct 2019, unbroken since 12 Dec 2019
Official name change by deed poll: 11 Nov 2019
HRT: "kind of" started 15 Jul 2020
Most of my story is in the Just another mtf tale thread!
Twitch streamer MusicEllie

Offline davina61

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Re: Just another mtf tale
« Reply #21 on: October 06, 2019, 03:33:52 am »
Nice to see another UK member, if you look at my diary you will see I have had no problems coming out (apart from the ex) ,every one has been great. Nails, yes a good conversation maker (and shoes!) with a lot of ladies asking what colour it is ( I like damson delight No7 range) . your lucky size 12 as I am a 20 top and 16 bottom 9ee shoe so it does limit what I can get especially in the sales . Have fun as it only gets better
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever

Offline Jessica_K

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Re: Just another mtf tale
« Reply #22 on: October 06, 2019, 04:19:09 am »
I was wearing ankle boots on my feet. I'm not sure about driving in heels. I don't know if the ankle boots go with the dress, but safety's more important than anything else
I was concerned wearing heels (3” on boots) and flip-flops driving but gave each a try and had no problems though not tried stilettos but then I cannot even walk in them!  lol

Jessica xx

Offline Ellie_Arroway

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Re: Just another mtf tale
« Reply #23 on: October 16, 2019, 11:14:39 am »
Things are moving quickly now!

I've just had a meeting with my company about transitioning. I want to come out to everyone else in the workplace (at least, locally, i.e. those people who I meet on a daily basis) before any serious effort to present as female.

Looking at the schedule for when everyone was available, it looks like it's going to be tomorrow!

So I have that now-familiar feeling of butterflies in my stomach, which I personally interpret as a mix of fear and excitement!

I had planned on Halloween, but the company are not making anything of Halloween this year, so that won't happen. I didn't see that coming because it's happened every year for the past four years. Not to worry, though, as I can start presenting as female on Friday!

Now it's really getting real... :)
Started seriously questioning: 24 Aug 2019
Referred to GIC: 23 Sep 2019
Full-time female presentation since: 21 Oct 2019, unbroken since 12 Dec 2019
Official name change by deed poll: 11 Nov 2019
HRT: "kind of" started 15 Jul 2020
Most of my story is in the Just another mtf tale thread!
Twitch streamer MusicEllie

Offline AllieSF

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Re: Just another mtf tale
« Reply #24 on: October 16, 2019, 03:14:29 pm »
That is wonderful for you.  It is interesting how people come out to their company and fellow employees and current clients if one has clients that they take care of.  Some tell the company and then select a later date to show up as the gender they are.  It sounds like you are doing all that in one step.  That sounds so much easier.  Get it over quickly and then get on with learning how to live this new life that we want so badly.  Good luck and enjoy the moment.

I am retired and did the two step approach with family, friends, acquaintances and others that should know.  I told them first and then went full time several months later and that is when they saw me as me, the new me.  I felt and still feel that for me it was the best way forward.  It gave them time to think about it, ask me questions if they had any, and some did, and just get used to the facts and the eventual moment when I would show up as a woman in women's clothes.  It worked very well for me, though we all have different circumstances to consider.

Allie
HRT - February 2017
Full Time - July 2018
Orchi - January 2018
BA - September 25, 2019
FFS - January 10, 2020
GRS - TBDDD (To Be Determined, Decision and Date)

Ricki

Re: Just another mtf tale
« Reply #25 on: October 17, 2019, 12:56:20 am »
401!!!!!

I am really happy for you! I am also really happy to have you experience seeing YOUR name on YOUR desk. I have seen mine multiple times these last few days, as well as sent emails as my name, and received emails in my name. I am getting better. I only tear up every 1 in 4 times now :D

Super big Hugs for courage!

Ricki

Offline Ellie_Arroway

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Re: Just another mtf tale
« Reply #26 on: October 17, 2019, 12:17:04 pm »
The deed is done!

It was rather scary! But I got through it.

I had prepared a short list of things to talk about on my phone. These were as follows:

  • Talk about the experiments I have carried out recently, that I have been working with a therapist, and that it appears I am transgender.
  • Intention to ease into a transition to a more feminine presentation.
  • To try Robyn Ceri as my new name, although I may decide to change it. I need to find out if I like it!
  • Pronouns: During these early stages of transition, I'll accept he/him or she/her. I'd rather not be referred to as they/them as a personal choice.
  • I prepared a Q&A document that I released at the end of the meeting.
  • Happy to answer questions but please review the Q&A document first as they may already have been answered.
  • Finally, to thank those members of the company staff who already knew about this beforehand and for the tremendous support they have provided.

So I got through all that without any stuttering, voice wavering or anything! But I definitely experienced one hormone... Adrenaline, in abundant quantities! Afterwards it took a good couple of hours to get back to normal!

I got quite a few supporting comments from people after the meeting. I heard afterwards that a few people were thinking of applauding after I had revealed all this, but they weren't sure whether it would have been appropriate. Also, plenty of people think I've got guts. They're right, of course. :)

I have had no negative comments, which is really what I expected. They're a good bunch of people to work with.

I now have a bit more choice for what to wear tomorrow and every other day I work for the company! I will ease into it gradually, as I say, partly because I still don't own that many female clothes! But that will come.

Happy now! :)
Started seriously questioning: 24 Aug 2019
Referred to GIC: 23 Sep 2019
Full-time female presentation since: 21 Oct 2019, unbroken since 12 Dec 2019
Official name change by deed poll: 11 Nov 2019
HRT: "kind of" started 15 Jul 2020
Most of my story is in the Just another mtf tale thread!
Twitch streamer MusicEllie

Offline davina61

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Re: Just another mtf tale
« Reply #27 on: October 17, 2019, 01:49:00 pm »
Happy days and even happier shopping days!!! Well done dear.
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever

Offline nz_maddie

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Re: Just another mtf tale
« Reply #28 on: October 17, 2019, 07:41:59 pm »
The deed is done!

It was rather scary! But I got through it.

I had prepared a short list of things to talk about on my phone. These were as follows:

  • Talk about the experiments I have carried out recently, that I have been working with a therapist, and that it appears I am transgender.
  • Intention to ease into a transition to a more feminine presentation.
  • To try Robyn Ceri as my new name, although I may decide to change it. I need to find out if I like it!
  • Pronouns: During these early stages of transition, I'll accept he/him or she/her. I'd rather not be referred to as they/them as a personal choice.
  • I prepared a Q&A document that I released at the end of the meeting.
  • Happy to answer questions but please review the Q&A document first as they may already have been answered.
  • Finally, to thank those members of the company staff who already knew about this beforehand and for the tremendous support they have provided.

So I got through all that without any stuttering, voice wavering or anything! But I definitely experienced one hormone... Adrenaline, in abundant quantities! Afterwards it took a good couple of hours to get back to normal!

I got quite a few supporting comments from people after the meeting. I heard afterwards that a few people were thinking of applauding after I had revealed all this, but they weren't sure whether it would have been appropriate. Also, plenty of people think I've got guts. They're right, of course. :)

I have had no negative comments, which is really what I expected. They're a good bunch of people to work with.

I now have a bit more choice for what to wear tomorrow and every other day I work for the company! I will ease into it gradually, as I say, partly because I still don't own that many female clothes! But that will come.

Happy now! :)

You're fantastic!  Well done and so much inspiration xxxx
Just a kiwi girl, shuffling along, trying to grow wings


Ricki

Re: Just another mtf tale
« Reply #29 on: October 18, 2019, 09:18:01 am »
Damn you! I read this on the bus to work. It made me cry in public. I am so happy for you!!!

Hugs! :D

Offline Faith

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Re: Just another mtf tale
« Reply #30 on: October 18, 2019, 09:30:14 am »
I came out at work fairly quickly after coming to know myself.  Oct'17 - Me; Nov'17 - Wife; Jan'18 - Full time, out at work; Mar'18 - start HRT

My bosses were like, yeah, whatever just do your job :P
The people I work with were very quiet at first. The guys, most of them are still quiet. The gals, OMG the gals!! They scooped me right up .. except the old fuddy-duddies (I ignore them).

I started out rather quiet, some make-up and women's jeans&tops. The first day I wore a dress .. anxious jitters, I was sooo nervous. Actually, I still get nervous and it's been over a year :P

Anyways .. Congrats on making this step !!!!

Offline TonyaW

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Re: Just another mtf tale
« Reply #31 on: October 18, 2019, 10:26:07 am »
The deed is done!

It was rather scary! But I got through it.

I had prepared a short list of things to talk about on my phone. These were as follows:

  • Talk about the experiments I have carried out recently, that I have been working with a therapist, and that it appears I am transgender.
  • Intention to ease into a transition to a more feminine presentation.
  • To try Robyn Ceri as my new name, although I may decide to change it. I need to find out if I like it!
  • Pronouns: During these early stages of transition, I'll accept he/him or she/her. I'd rather not be referred to as they/them as a personal choice.
  • I prepared a Q&A document that I released at the end of the meeting.
  • Happy to answer questions but please review the Q&A document first as they may already have been answered.
  • Finally, to thank those members of the company staff who already knew about this beforehand and for the tremendous support they have provided.

So I got through all that without any stuttering, voice wavering or anything! But I definitely experienced one hormone... Adrenaline, in abundant quantities! Afterwards it took a good couple of hours to get back to normal!

I got quite a few supporting comments from people after the meeting. I heard afterwards that a few people were thinking of applauding after I had revealed all this, but they weren't sure whether it would have been appropriate. Also, plenty of people think I've got guts. They're right, of course. :)

I have had no negative comments, which is really what I expected. They're a good bunch of people to work with.

I now have a bit more choice for what to wear tomorrow and every other day I work for the company! I will ease into it gradually, as I say, partly because I still don't own that many female clothes! But that will come.

Happy now! :)
Congraulations! Awesome.  I'm glad I didn't have to make a speech,  my boss had to tell everyone per company policy. I probably would have done it via email if I had to.

Company policy also suggested not showing up in a dress the next day, give it two weeks before fully presenting.  I'd been wearing light foundation and androgynous women's clothing almost exclusively for around 9 months before I officially came out.  Started mixing in some skinny jeans and eyeliner right away.  Not sure if I waited a full 2 weeks for the first skirt, but it was close.

Have fun shopping !!

Sent from my SM-G970U using Tapatalk


Offline Ellie_Arroway

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Re: Just another mtf tale
« Reply #32 on: October 18, 2019, 12:59:57 pm »
Thanks all!

I didn't have to make a speech. I chose to. I just felt that as many people as possible should hear it from my lips first. I also felt that it was likely to be the best way to drum up support; it certainly takes guts to do that! It wasn't a long speech, and the Q&A ran to just over four pages so that explained virtually everything that people wanted to ask.

There are not many women where I work (well, I suppose, one more now, at least in part). One of them sits next to me (well, actually, two, but the other one is on leave right now; she'll have a surprise when she returns!) All those who are on my team are supporting me, and that includes the first woman I mentioned.

My boss started calling me Robyn today, and that was nice. :)

I decided to make a slowish transition to give people a chance to adapt; it's not just I who has to adapt, after all! So today I wore a women's T-shirt (obviously women's from the cut and the colours), skinny jeans, and purple Chelsea boots. I didn't wear a wig today. I also haven't really started voice training yet, so I kept my voice as is. I still had my male jacket (that's not chainmail, that would be interesting!) and my male coat. Everyone treated me as normal, except our IT director held a door open for me, and that seemed a bit unusual; it could just be that I'm looking out for things like that now, so I didn't read anything into it.

I was perfectly comfortable throughout the day. After work, I went into a supermarket and did a small shop. I had my coat and jacket on but they were open so my T-shirt was visible. I interacted with the guy at the counter and one of the customers, and they treated me normally. That's given me quite a bit of confidence!

Robyn
Started seriously questioning: 24 Aug 2019
Referred to GIC: 23 Sep 2019
Full-time female presentation since: 21 Oct 2019, unbroken since 12 Dec 2019
Official name change by deed poll: 11 Nov 2019
HRT: "kind of" started 15 Jul 2020
Most of my story is in the Just another mtf tale thread!
Twitch streamer MusicEllie

Offline Linde

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Re: Just another mtf tale
« Reply #33 on: October 18, 2019, 04:16:23 pm »
@Robin
And you will see it will go well even when you are fully en fem!  I had similar concerns as you have, and they were all for nothing.  The next really big challenge will be using female only facilities, like a bathroom or a changing room in a store with an attendant for this.
The challenges are all inside your head, they are no big deal in reality!

I wish you good luck!


Ricki

Re: Just another mtf tale
« Reply #34 on: October 18, 2019, 07:09:27 pm »
Mark the date you went full time. A lot of insurance companies demand that you be full time for at least a year before they will pay for anything.

Hugs!

Offline Ellie_Arroway

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Re: Just another mtf tale
« Reply #35 on: October 25, 2019, 12:26:55 pm »
First week in full-time girl mode is over!

Monday... I went in with a hair piece that's integrated with a baseball cap. The hair is really long (about 45cm). I spent much of the day trying to detangle the bits that were falling over the front! I didn't like that as I sat back in the chair, my head wouldn't go down until I leaned forward either. I'll use it again, but I'll sort it out into something a bit more practical first with some hair clippy things that I've bought.

Tuesday... I started using my bob wig. I think that was the day when a member of staff came back to the office who was on holiday last week. She had a surprise when she found out who was now sitting next to her! :)

Wednesday... Pretty uneventful really.

Thursday... This was quite a big one! We have a Thursday curry day thing, and we go to the on-site cafe. So I got on with it, as normal, except of course I'm now presenting as female. Nobody on the staff said anything at all about my change! I was just treated as normal.

Later, I saw my GP who had some questions that had been generated by my referral. I answered the questions. She told me it will be a wait of up to two years now. Ah well. At least it was good that I was in full-time girl mode, because that was one of the questions asked. I know that's one of the things the NHS GIC look for. The other thing is a name change. I haven't completed a legal change of name yet; it's coming, but there are some things I have to sort out first. I've got plenty of time.

In the evening, I went to a trans support group, and met other people like me. That was great!

I did discover at the end of the day that my wig is pressing a little too hard against my head, and it was red in certain places where there are clips to attach it to your real hair, but being a chrome dome means it just presses against the skin.

Also, it was my first day carrying a handbag! It's a cross-body one which keeps my hands free. Reason being I needed to carry my wig comb with me. I now fully understand the handbag thing!

I also started wearing a bra to the office, just to give my chest a bit more shape.

Friday... Just another day at the office.

Also, during the week, I have been doing some shopping. I've been in girl mode the whole time. And it's been fine. I've interacted with people (bearing in mind that I have a really masculine, bass voice!) and they were all fine with me!

Ricki, I think I'll call the 21st of October the day I went full time. That's two months and a day since I started my gender exploration. I haven't been messing around, have I?! I've astonished myself at the speed of my transition and my level of confidence!
Started seriously questioning: 24 Aug 2019
Referred to GIC: 23 Sep 2019
Full-time female presentation since: 21 Oct 2019, unbroken since 12 Dec 2019
Official name change by deed poll: 11 Nov 2019
HRT: "kind of" started 15 Jul 2020
Most of my story is in the Just another mtf tale thread!
Twitch streamer MusicEllie

Offline davina61

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Re: Just another mtf tale
« Reply #36 on: October 25, 2019, 02:57:30 pm »
Well done dear, took me 8 months before wearing a wig in public/work. Had been androgynous for those months working my way up. Voice is my issue as well . The purse/handbag thing was great, you will wonder how you managed before. Of course a wallet don't take up much room but brush, make up , brolly, tissues and stuff you never thought off means a big bag for everyday stuff. Got a nice black leather "Mary Poppins " (get my lunch box in it with lots off room to spare) from local market , think it was £25.
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever

Ricki

Re: Just another mtf tale
« Reply #37 on: October 27, 2019, 09:52:19 am »
Ricki, I think I'll call the 21st of October the day I went full time.

Brava! Brava!   :icon_bunch:

It took me a full 365 days to do that :P If it dose turn out to be a hella long wait, have you thought about going to the private sector? If I had been told I had to wait to years, I would have sat back and said "Well [Close, interlocking body parts, personal relationship activity] me sideways!" and been very sad/angry/impatient.

Ricki

Offline Ellie_Arroway

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Re: Just another mtf tale
« Reply #38 on: October 28, 2019, 12:29:56 pm »
Hi Ricki,

I'm prepared to wait for the hormones. I went to a support group on Thursday and a transwoman there said she had gone private for hormones, but there's two problems with that: you still have a wait ahead of you, and each consultation is going to cost around £300 now! And the medicine then costs about £30 a month.

I've already spent more than that on clothes, shoes, makeup, wigs and stuff like that! I could afford it, but it would eat into my savings.

I already pay for the NHS through my national insurance contributions, so although there's a wait involved, I really don't want to be paying for the same thing twice. The other thing is that at my age, I don't think there's anything to be gained by rushing into the hormones. I'm already happier as a result of presenting as a woman. Hormones may make me yet happier, but I can wait.

Also, I'm conscious that there is a tendency for happiness levels to even out over time. I'm not sure about something like this where you're correcting for dysphoria, but if that is the case, it might mean that my happiness levels return to normal at just around the time that I get to start hormones so I might get a second boost of happiness!

Ellie
Started seriously questioning: 24 Aug 2019
Referred to GIC: 23 Sep 2019
Full-time female presentation since: 21 Oct 2019, unbroken since 12 Dec 2019
Official name change by deed poll: 11 Nov 2019
HRT: "kind of" started 15 Jul 2020
Most of my story is in the Just another mtf tale thread!
Twitch streamer MusicEllie

Offline AllieSF

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Re: Just another mtf tale
« Reply #39 on: October 29, 2019, 04:42:33 pm »
For the wig, cut out those clips, it becomes much more comfortable and are not needed in your case.  For the rest, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!

Hugs,

Allie
HRT - February 2017
Full Time - July 2018
Orchi - January 2018
BA - September 25, 2019
FFS - January 10, 2020
GRS - TBDDD (To Be Determined, Decision and Date)

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