Community Conversation > Passing

As a mtf, when you do not "pass", what do you think was the cause?

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ChrissyRyan:
As a mtf, when you do not "pass", what do you think was the cause?

Was it your hair, your face, your voice, or...?

Also, if you were with a friend and you asked that person what he or she thought was the cause of you not passing, what did that person say to you?

The reason why I ask from both your and your friend's perspectives is that we may not be as objective as our friends, plus they can notice you from another person's perspective.  While good friends do not want to hurt your feelings, they can be honest with you if you reassure them that you want them to be very truthful and detailed in answering this type of question, because you want to have the best, most natural, female presention and persona as possible.

Chrissy

Jessica:
I believe my voice is my biggest detractor.  When I mention that I’m trying to friends, no words of encouragement or advice are given.  I take that as criticism without criticizing and that it needs work.
The only time I’ve been purposefully mis-gendered was from a barista.  They did not receive a tip after that and lost my business forever.

Lynne:
Friends and family have their own skewed perspective as well which might not be objective at all.

If I look at my whole female presentation, my voice has the biggest chance by far to get me clocked and I think I got clocked because of it more than once in the last 7 years. There are days when facial hair can be an issue and I know of exactly one situation when that was the cause of getting clocked but that's way more manageable than my voice.
My voice sounds so out of place when I present as female, the contrast between my looks and voice is just too high.

Linde:
I am lucky, I am not misgendered for quite some time now.  Age may help, one does not have to be that pretty anymore.
I also don't think that the voice it self is cause for misgendering (unless one has a real deep bass voice), but the way this voice is used.  I am still fighting with the aftermath of my laryngitis, and still have a petty rough sounding voice.  But nobody migenders me, because I seem to use this voice the way a female would.  I have not really been around men for several years now, and can't even remember how a man would talk (speech pattern wise).  But I have a relatively high pitch voice to start with, even my rough voice is not that super deep.

Megan.:

--- Quote from: ChrissyRyan on October 05, 2019, 09:26:08 am ---As a mtf, when you do not "pass", what do you think was the cause?

--- End quote ---

Because I'm living my life happily, and passing or not isn't important to me.

I look how I want to look, and behave how I want to behave; that doesn't always meet people's preconceived notions of a specific gender. :-)

Megan. X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

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