Author Topic: I'm gonna come out.... To the VA????  (Read 279 times)

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Offline WannaBgirl2

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I'm gonna come out.... To the VA????
« on: October 14, 2019, 07:30:00 pm »
I'll start with telling you, the only one I have told, was my wife.... And she's not too receptive to the idea.... I told her a couple years back, we fought, she cried, I cried.... She tried to compromise, and give me alone time... But knowing she wasn't happy with it.... I gave up, so she can be happy...

That said....
 Now I have a psych appointment in a few days, it's with the VA hospital.... And I'm terrified!?!?! It's gonna be part of my record, I will be crossing a line that could change my whole association with them.... Not to mention that my wife has total access to my records as well.... Prescriptions, appointments, care, everything.... So when I tell my counselor that I can put my finger on the cause of my anxiety.... And it's gender dysphoria..... I will be passing the point of no return.... And honestly I'm terrified!!! But deep down inside... I feel almost exelerated??!?!!! As if once I let my genie out of her bottle, it breaks, and she can never go back!?!?!  But once she's free, I can start to feel better..... But until then, all I can feel is my femininity boiling under the surface... I hope I can find release somehow.

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Offline Lexxi

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Re: I'm gonna come out.... To the VA????
« Reply #1 on: October 14, 2019, 07:38:40 pm »
Congratulations WannaBgirl2!!

That's a big step. I remember when I got my first appointment with my therapist. She was the second person I told that I was transgender and it was definitely scary. I'd been to therapists before for marriage counseling so I already knew that honestly was my best policy. So when she asked why I was there, I just told the truth. It only took her about 45 minutes before she gave me my official diagnosis of gender dysphoria.

There are something like 7 major markers for gender dysphoria, and I checked off all or part of all 7 of them, so it was an easy diagnoses for her to give. So when you get in front of your therapist just be honest. There's no need to be nervous or terrified, because I assure you nothing you can say will shock your therapist. They've heard it all before and know how to react.

I wish you all the luck in the world at your appointment!!

Lexxi
Finally started the process of becoming the real me! 5/20/19
Came out online 5/20/19
First time coming out face to face 6/3/19
First therapist appointment for HRT 6/3/19
Got my letter for HRT 6/10/19
Came out to my mom 6/18/19
Started HRT 7/12/19

Offline Rakel

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Re: I'm gonna come out.... To the VA????
« Reply #2 on: October 14, 2019, 08:26:40 pm »
Too many of us have kept our feelings hidden inside for years and sometimes decades. Openly discussing this with anyone else is a big step for all of us. Once it is done, it is over and we go on.

You have already told the most significant person in your life. Keep in mind your therapist has been trained in many forms of gender issues and will be able to help you work out a solution that you are comfortable with.

Nothing to be really afraid of. Just walk in to your first appointment and tell you therapist what you are dealing with. They understand these things. I get my care from the VA and they are very respectful of my feelings and my service in the military. You deserve the same.




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Retired Pharmacist with over 40 years experience in Hospital and Retail Pharmacies.
I still keep my professional licence active and in good standing.


Laurie

Re: I'm gonna come out.... To the VA????
« Reply #3 on: October 15, 2019, 10:51:24 pm »
 I remember well the day I told my VA primary care doctor That I believed I was trans. From there my care at the VA got better. First by answering yes to the question, Do you want to speak with a therapist about it. It turned out he was qualified to treat me as a trans person and arranged to prescribe my transition meds and supplies. I have had a therapist helping me with all my transitioning issues. Though I have had no complaints with his services, I have recently asked to talk to a female therapist familiar with trans patients. I don't know if this is a wise decision or not, but my next session will be with her. Once I had my name and gender changed within the VA records system I have not had one incidence of them calling me  by my dead name and all have been accepting and professional with me.
 I have no complaints at all on my care at the VA here on Portland, Oregon.  You should not either. If you do then contact the patient advocate or the LGBTQ liaison. They will straighten things out for you.

 Relax and go for it!

Hugs,
  Laurie

Offline WannaBgirl2

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Re: I'm gonna come out.... To the VA????
« Reply #4 on: July 22, 2020, 07:30:34 am »
I just came out to my primary care doctor at the VA.... She was very supportive, and asked me about hormones for my dysphoria... She's going to setup my endocrinologist for me!!!!

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Offline Maddie

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Re: I'm gonna come out.... To the VA????
« Reply #5 on: July 22, 2020, 10:03:36 am »
Hooray!!

See, that wasn't so bad :)

Happy for your leap and steps.

Your life is worth it

Offline WannaBgirl2

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Re: I'm gonna come out.... To the VA????
« Reply #6 on: July 22, 2020, 10:42:45 am »
Thanks Maddie

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