Author Topic: My FFS is almost here! Eeks! :-)  (Read 254 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Madison02

  • *
  • Posts: 55
  • Reputation: +1/-0
  • Gender: Female
My FFS is almost here! Eeks! :-)
« on: November 18, 2020, 10:20:30 am »
Hi all! So I can't believe it, but my surgery date is just about 3 weeks away, on 12/14. I am over-the-moon excited, and still in slight disbelief that I've actually gotten here....that I've climbed this mountain and am ready to stand on top!

With that said though, I'm starting to feel weird little doubts. Not like I'm going to cancel the procedure, but I've experienced tons of acceptance over the last year+ from friends and strangers alike, in terms of being viewed as and accepted as the woman that I am. And here's where those weird thoughts come from...how will I be viewed after the surgery? For example, I am just getting to know new teammates from the cycling team I just got accepted on. To them, and friends in my neighborhood that I've met since moving in, I'm just Madison.

I'm just wondering how some of you who've had FFS have handled the after. Did anyone ask about the changes in your appearance? Did you experience any feelings of awkwardness in going from your previous look to your new one? And lastly, how was your level of acceptance with yourself? Like a lot of you here, I've waited a lifetime for this moment, to finally have the hope realized of seeing the internal me reflected back in the mirror when looking at a mirror. How were your feelings seeing your new self? Did you find you needed some time to process having a new look?

Like I said, I'm totally excited for this (and next) procedure, but I'm just wondering how it will feel to no longer see the old me, and how to explain it if asked :-)


**** Edit for procedure clarification ****

So my procedure doesn't sound like it will be too terribly invasive. It will include: scalp advancement, shaving down the brow bone, brow lift, lip lift, tracheal shave, slight advancement of my chin, fat grafts into my temporal areas and lips. The fat will come via lipo on my inner thighs and stomach. 
« Last Edit: November 18, 2020, 02:24:13 pm by Madison02 »

Online Northern Star Girl

  • Previously Alaskan Danielle
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 32,053
  • Reputation: +47/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • northernstargirl@susans.org
Re: My FFS is almost here! Eeks! :-)
« Reply #1 on: November 18, 2020, 10:57:40 am »
@Madison02
Dear Madison:
This is exciting news that your reported regarding your scheduled FFS surgery on December 14th.   

While this can be an important and life changing surgery event for many MTFs...  like all of us you certainly are entitled to feeling some doubts and even fears about any upcoming surgery.

While I was fortunate enough to not to not feel that I "needed" FFS surgery, I know of many transitioners that have been very happy with the results and the surgery has provided them with more confidence and self-assurance as they continue their journey into full-time.

You submitted your posting and thread in the proper sub-forum so I would expect that you will garner useful replies from others that have gone before you with FFS.
As I am certain that you already have, be sure to read the other postings and stories on the FFS sub-forum.

I am wishing you well and I will be eagerly following your future postings regarding this.
HUGS and more HUGS,
Danielle

***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline Jessica_Rose

  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 1,223
  • Reputation: +117/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: My FFS is almost here! Eeks! :-)
« Reply #2 on: November 18, 2020, 11:18:25 am »
I've had a scalp advance, brow contouring, lip implants, jaw contouring, and a chin reduction. So for no one has mentioned it. The most anyone said was 'are you doing something different with your makeup?' Depending on how much work is done, unless it's something really dramatic most people won't notice. Certainly some will notice that something is different, but most FFS actually just makes subtle changes. The sum of all the changes can be dramatic, but unless you tell people what you had done, I doubt anyone will say anything.

It will take some time for you to see your 'new' self. There's usually quite a bit of swelling involved, so initially the surgical changes will not be evident -- except of course for any visible sutures. As the healing progresses, you will slowly begin noticing the changes. One day, maybe months from now, it will suddenly hit you -- you will see you, and you will cry tears of joy.

Before FFS, I had strangers tell me that I was beautiful. Unfortunately, when I looked in the mirror I saw painful reminders of who I used to be. I had the procedures because like you, I want to see 'me' in the mirror, not the person I used to be. Feel free to check out the threads in my signature, there are quite a few 'before and after' photos. I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

Love always -- Jessica Rose
Journal - Jessica's Rose Garden
National Coming Out Day video - Coming Out
GCS - GCS and BA with Dr. Ley on 21 Feb 2019
GCS II and FFS - GCS II and FFS with Dr. Ley on 26 July 2019
FFS II - FFS II with Dr. Ley on 13 Oct 2020
23Mar2017 Started Estradiol / 16Feb2018 Full Time! / 21Feb2019 GCS / 26July2019 GCS II & FFS

Don't let others tell you who you are. Be yourself, the world will adjust.

Online Oldandcreaky

  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 636
  • Reputation: +11/-0
Re: My FFS is almost here! Eeks! :-)
« Reply #3 on: November 18, 2020, 12:19:06 pm »
Madison, you ask insightful questions, which suggest you're a thoughtful person. It's good to have your eyes open going into your surgery.

Like JessicaRose, I don't expect people to notice as long as you wait a couple weeks or three for the bruising to subside.

I had my nose thinned and my forehead reset. They're both brutal surgeries. They took a chisel to my nose and for my forehead, the doctor flayed me before breaking down my skull and rebuilding it. So, you will be tuckered coming out of it. Don't look to be back on your bike in a few weeks. Stay home. Heal. Then go out into your brave, new world with your slightly altered face.

Offline Madison02

  • *
  • Posts: 55
  • Reputation: +1/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: My FFS is almost here! Eeks! :-)
« Reply #4 on: November 18, 2020, 02:13:27 pm »
I've had a scalp advance, brow contouring, lip implants, jaw contouring, and a chin reduction. So for no one has mentioned it. The most anyone said was 'are you doing something different with your makeup?' Depending on how much work is done, unless it's something really dramatic most people won't notice. Certainly some will notice that something is different, but most FFS actually just makes subtle changes. The sum of all the changes can be dramatic, but unless you tell people what you had done, I doubt anyone will say anything.

It will take some time for you to see your 'new' self. There's usually quite a bit of swelling involved, so initially the surgical changes will not be evident -- except of course for any visible sutures. As the healing progresses, you will slowly begin noticing the changes. One day, maybe months from now, it will suddenly hit you -- you will see you, and you will cry tears of joy.

Before FFS, I had strangers tell me that I was beautiful. Unfortunately, when I looked in the mirror I saw painful reminders of who I used to be. I had the procedures because like you, I want to see 'me' in the mirror, not the person I used to be. Feel free to check out the threads in my signature, there are quite a few 'before and after' photos. I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

Thank you Jessica! Your last paragraph really struck me, specifically the part about strangers telling you that you are beautiful. Those are the ones that get to me the most, and not in a bad way, but in a, wait, what? Really? Me? I do a lot of social media posts involving pix of myself on my rides or races, and will be increasing that presence as the director for the newest area chapter for an women's automotive group that I belong to. So when I get those types of compliments from complete strangers!, it really kind of throws me off....as you said, some of us just don't see ourselves like that, especially after years of self-loathing (for me).

I think those types of comments and the feelings I have, are part of what prompted me to post this originally. My view and the outside world apparently have very different views of myself, lol. Truthfully though, I am seeing it more and more, the beauty, the changes, the reduction in my dysphoric feelings. And I love it...It'll be amazing to see what happens on the other side.

Offline Madison02

  • *
  • Posts: 55
  • Reputation: +1/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: My FFS is almost here! Eeks! :-)
« Reply #5 on: November 18, 2020, 02:19:05 pm »
Madison, you ask insightful questions, which suggest you're a thoughtful person. It's good to have your eyes open going into your surgery.

Like JessicaRose, I don't expect people to notice as long as you wait a couple weeks or three for the bruising to subside.

I had my nose thinned and my forehead reset. They're both brutal surgeries. They took a chisel to my nose and for my forehead, the doctor flayed me before breaking down my skull and rebuilding it. So, you will be tuckered coming out of it. Don't look to be back on your bike in a few weeks. Stay home. Heal. Then go out into your brave, new world with your slightly altered face.

I do try to be as rational, thoughtful, and logical, as I can...especially with something like this. I am under no illusions of coming out and taking up modeling as a career path, lol....In fact, I am quite concerned that given the level of acceptance and compliments I receive, as well as accepting myself more and more, that something could not turn out 100% and I end up with an "issue", or worse, a regret. I don't want that, and it has been on my mind more and more. Frankly, I am far less concerned about my vaginoplasty/breast augmentation (8/16/21) than I am for this. Those seem fairly routine, and clearly no one can "see" those things unless shown. The face.....that's everything. It's a little scary.

Offline Madison02

  • *
  • Posts: 55
  • Reputation: +1/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: My FFS is almost here! Eeks! :-)
« Reply #6 on: November 18, 2020, 02:29:06 pm »
@Madison02
Dear Madison:
This is exciting news that your reported regarding your scheduled FFS surgery on December 14th.   

While this can be an important and life changing surgery event for many MTFs...  like all of us you certainly are entitled to feeling some doubts and even fears about any upcoming surgery.

While I was fortunate enough to not to not feel that I "needed" FFS surgery, I know of many transitioners that have been very happy with the results and the surgery has provided them with more confidence and self-assurance as they continue their journey into full-time.

You submitted your posting and thread in the proper sub-forum so I would expect that you will garner useful replies from others that have gone before you with FFS.
As I am certain that you already have, be sure to read the other postings and stories on the FFS sub-forum.

I am wishing you well and I will be eagerly following your future postings regarding this.
HUGS and more HUGS,
Danielle


Thank you for the kind words of reassurance :-)

Online Oldandcreaky

  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 636
  • Reputation: +11/-0
Re: My FFS is almost here! Eeks! :-)
« Reply #7 on: November 18, 2020, 03:48:21 pm »
I do try to be as rational, thoughtful, and logical, as I can...especially with something like this. I am under no illusions of coming out and taking up modeling as a career path, lol....In fact, I am quite concerned that given the level of acceptance and compliments I receive, as well as accepting myself more and more, that something could not turn out 100% and I end up with an "issue", or worse, a regret. I don't want that, and it has been on my mind more and more. Frankly, I am far less concerned about my vaginoplasty/breast augmentation (8/16/21) than I am for this. Those seem fairly routine, and clearly no one can "see" those things unless shown. The face.....that's everything. It's a little scary.

Yes, the face is huge. Who is your surgeon and what is being done? I ask because cheek implants can make a person look odd. A nose tip lifted too high can also look strange.

Offline Madison02

  • *
  • Posts: 55
  • Reputation: +1/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: My FFS is almost here! Eeks! :-)
« Reply #8 on: November 18, 2020, 05:16:30 pm »
Yes, the face is huge. Who is your surgeon and what is being done? I ask because cheek implants can make a person look odd. A nose tip lifted too high can also look strange.


My procedure isn't as invasive or complex as some could be....I've edited my original post to describe everything...But to recap, I am having a hairline advancement, brow bone shave, brow lift, slight advancement of my chin, tracheal shave, lip lift, and fat grafts to my temple area and lips, which is being donated via lipo of my inner thighs and stomach.

My surgeon is Dr. Thomas Satterwhite in San Francisco.

Online AllieSF

  • *****
  • Posts: 828
  • Reputation: +7/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Ain't Life Grand!!
Re: My FFS is almost here! Eeks! :-)
« Reply #9 on: November 18, 2020, 10:13:03 pm »
Hi Madison,

My friend had her BA and GCS surgery with Satterwhite.  I accompanied her to a couple of her post op visits and was in the room with him when he was attending my friend.  He is a great person and I recently had a facetime appointment with him regarding GCS.  Do you live in the area or just coming for the surgery?  Who will be taking care of you, because that is the most important aftercare item for the first week?  I live in the area, so send me a PM if you want.  There is a recovery house for trans surgeries in Marin County where that friend who used Satterwhite is on the Board of Directors.  They offer some good services for cheap and would be worth looking into if you do not have anyone.

Good luck with your surgery and especially the recovery.  For bone work I only had brow grinding, no bone removal and replacing, and chin grinding.  My recovery was very easy compared to others.

Allie
HRT - February 2017
Full Time - July 2018
Orchi - January 2018
BA - September 25, 2019
FFS - January 10, 2020
GRS - TBDDD (To Be Determined, Decision and Date)

Online Oldandcreaky

  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 636
  • Reputation: +11/-0
Re: My FFS is almost here! Eeks! :-)
« Reply #10 on: November 19, 2020, 12:13:06 am »
Madison, given your scheduled procedures, I think most of your changes will be subtle and therefore won't provoke curiosity from those who know you...except for fat being transferred to your lips. That can look odd. I hope your doc errs on less rather than more.

Tags: