Topic: Laura's FFS Journal

[Laura1951]

@OldAndCreaky, @Wendi, @Danielle, @Katie76

Thank you all for asking.

The challenge of having so many threads (FFS, HRT, and others) is that my real progress and thoughts can get lost between threads. I expect to update this thread on the 18th, the third month anniversary of my FFS. (but so far, not much change since month two.)

The real changes to my life, and there are many, are being documented on my blog, One New Life to Live

Laura

[Laura1951]

FFS Post-Op, Three Months

It's a relief to reach the three-month mark for my FFS, although little has changed the past month.

First, regarding my nose, which was injured by a swift tennis ball a month ago. Swelling and numbness from that event seems to have subsided and while i've reported that i didn't think there was any damage, i am feeling little bumps along the sides and on top when i run my fingers up and down my nose. This may just be being too cautious because i see no visible effects when i look in the mirror. For now, i'm content to wait for my next follow-up appointment in 3-4 months to ask the surgeon's advice about my nose and any recommended revisions.

Because swelling is supposed to slowly lesson over the first six to 12 months, it's difficult to report on how my face looks now compared to a month ago. I do know that the top of my head still has no feeling, although i often have phantom itches that i can't scratch. Numbness along my jaw, chin and bottom lip seem to be improving, although it still feels like i've just been to the dentist and the Novocain is slow to wear off.

One effect of my FFS is that i'm now feeling more confident about being Laura in public. i can't say i pass, because i still see <deadname> when i look in the mirror, but i'm humbled when my friends here, and in RL, say that i am. i hope i can begin believing that soon. LOL.  Of course, hiding my face behind a face mask doesn't hurt.

Onward,

Laura

[AllieSF]

Laura,

I like your new avatar, you definitely look different and more female now, cute and attractive.  I had the similar itchiness on my scalp along and around the suture lines, but not on the forehead suture.  My FFS was in January this year and my center scalp, between the sutures that go toward the back of my head is still numb. The area along the back of my jaw and cheeks has regained most of its feeling.  As my doctor said, it just takes time and the scalp may not recover all of its feeling, which I am finally use to now.

I say, do not worry about your looks now and just enjoy being you doing you things.  Thanks for the updates.

Ally

[Oldandcreaky]

I do know that the top of my head still has no feeling, although i often have phantom itches that i can't scratch.

Ally nailed it. A scalp is slow to recover. On 90% of my scalp, I have 100% sensation. On 10% of it, I have 85% sensation. I expect I'll never have 100% everywhere as it's been about nine years.

[sarahc]

Laura:

Everything you discuss (besides the nose injury) continues to be very consistent with my experience. Also, I am definitely more confident now going out and about.

Sarah

[Laura1951]

@AllieSF, @OldAndCreaky, & @SarahC

First, thanks for the nice words about my appearance. i'm still somewhat cautious when Laura goes out, but COVID masks work wonders for passing.  i've reached the point where i'm taking more pictures, possibly because i'm feeling more secure. FFS isn't a miracle operation, but it can help us reach a tipping point in our ability to pass.

It sounds like scalp numbness is fairly common and i may or may not achieve feelings over 100% on top. I can live with that as long as i can regain full feeling in my jaw, chin, and lower lip. Some progress is being made, but i understand this can take some time.

Thank you again for replying.

Onward.

[Laura1951]

December 18, 2020

FFS, Four Months Post-Op


It's only Four months? It feels like longer since i looked like i got run over by a truck.

Little has changed since my three month report. However, the incision inside my mouth, which had been swollen since surgery, has now returned to normal.  No one would notice, except me when i run my tongue along the bottom insides of my mouth.

Otherwise, I can't tell if i look any different now than i did at the three month mark. Numbing, which includes complete lack of feeling on the top of my head, limited feeling in my forehead, a stiffness in my nose, and numbness along my jawline, chin and lower lip, continues.

Now,  i do realize that after surgery nerves take about a month off before beginning to regenerate, after which they may grow at 1mm/day. That surgeons say it could take a year before i regain feelings, tells me that there's lots of growing to do. i'm also away that I may never regain feeling in those parts of my face and head. If that's the cost of the process, i'll be fine. However, i'm rooting that some sensitivity returns.

For the past several months, i've sometimes felt an itch on my head that didn't respond to scratching, which may be a sign of nerve growth. OR, it could be that nerve endings are like cats; they can be jerks at times.

[Another Nikki]

thanks for continuing to update this thread laura.  happy holidays!