Community Conversation > Non-Op

Life is fun again


A little over three years on HRT and I am so happy with my decision. From a mental standpoint, I have not had a depressive event for pretty near all that time. I still have restrictions around the house and I had to decide, do I really love my wife? The answer was yes. With 35 years under our belts, I'd say we are comfortable. Aside from dressing around the house, which disappoints me but not to the point of giving up everything I got. I didn't have job problems, or explain it to my parents. Mom caught me crossdressing when I went to visit her. The next weekend she walked in front of a car and was killed. Dad was brain damaged so I couldn't explain to him. Mom had always threatened to do that because she says we didn't love her.
  There were several things keeping me from coming out but mostly fear. Then my health took a wrong turn. But the light at the end of that tunnel was finding out that my heart problems were related to me being transgender. Seems my heart was missing parts. Then it happened. I discovered who I am and how I got to this point. I also learned I would not be getting any surgeries.
   I also learned I am on the autism spectrum as high functioning. They used to call it Asperger's. That explains a lot. I have since attended autism support groups. There are many Transgender people that attend these meetings. I have never been able to socialize. My early posts on Susan's kind of proved that, as I peaved a few people. But three years ago I knew nothing about my place in the world besides never feeling like a dude.
   As a result I have revived my social skills a bit. I now attend support and social groups three or four days a week. This allows me to be me for a few hours a day and so far I have been able to live with that. There have been two events that have energized my desires to fit in. The first was Gender Odyssey which occurred a few months after I came out. At the time I had no idea how large the transgender community was. I had always felt I was all alone in my plight. And then it happened, I walked in the door and there were 1700 people attending the four day event. It was an amazing learning experience and opened doors that I always thought would remain closed. What I discovered was a group of warm, caring, understanding transgender women and men. 
The second big event happened last May when the Emerald City girls held their yearly gala. I wanted to go the year before but I didn't know what to expect. It ended up being the best week of my life. I've worked with mens ego's all my life, but to find men who were actually kind, sweet, femme, and lacking the usual ego constraints. We had a blast.
The city of Port Angeles view the gala as a big deal and roll out the red carpet. The Mayor wrote and read a proclamation We had shopping, High tea in Victoria, Dinner at Lake Crescent Lodge, Dancing with a DJ and dancing with the Nasty Habits. We had a talent show and invited the community. The auditorium was crammed. The Elks lodge cooked a spaghetti dinner. We had a fashion show and a clothing exchange. During the day there were workshops. Like I said, I had the best time ever. I now spend evert Thursday dancing, roller skating, going to movies, shopping attending pot lucks disguised as meetings and karaoke. The people are fabulous.
   I am lucky I was able to do quite a bit with my life. I wish fear was not so prevalent. I've been married 35 years, I have two great kids and two beautiful grandbabies. Honest, I don't know how I was able to make babies. But up until three years ago it was the biggest event in my life. Now they are all grown and support my decision to come out. I worked for two of the largest manufactures in the country as a change agent. Creating new ways to improve production. Last Friday we had our 50th high school reunion.
   If you are lucky enough to live in an accepting area such as Seattle life in transition can be wonderful. I haven't gotten any harassment yet and it was what always held me back and I lived my life in secret. I knew very early I was different. But now I get to express the joy that difference makes.  I hope all of you have some of my luck rub off on you. I really hope, someday there won't be a stigma for living a lifestyle because of a fictional book. .


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