Topic: Crossdressing as a sexual release

[vanityfair63]

I discovered crossdressing at a very young age and later on I discovered self pleasure while wearing panties. I used to feel so guilty because of this, but as I have aged and still doing this, it does not bother me as much. I am married and have never shared this with my wife, so it's always done while I am alone. I can and do still like having sex with her, but I also enjoy my dressing alone time too. I am wondering if others do this regularly?

[Rakel]

Over the years, I have come to know many cross dressers. Most are heterosexual married men. They tell me they do not want to make any permanent changes because they truly enjoy sex with their wives. Some tell me that they just need a temporary release from their dysphoria and not any sexual release. While others do need a sexual release, but for any number of reasons, full transition is not possible or even desired.

I have no idea how many of each group are out there. It will be interesting to see how prevalent the sexual component of our condition is.

For me, I rarely cross dressed. I found it not fulfilling. My dysphoria was gender related, not sexual in nature.

[Devlyn]

I discovered crossdressing at a very young age and later on I discovered self pleasure while wearing panties. I used to feel so guilty because of this, but as I have aged and still doing this, it does not bother me as much. I am married and have never shared this with my wife, so it's always done while I am alone. I can and do still like having sex with her, but I also enjoy my dressing alone time too. I am wondering if others do this regularly?

It was the first step on my journey. After awhile, the urges went away, and I just felt better when dressed. That's when I switched from the stunning dresses, high heels and hose to casual everyday wear.

Hugs, Devlyn

[Pygmalion]

Hmmmm....

I find it very complex for me.

Dressing for me is most often more of a part of a sort of genderqueer self identity: I have a feminine aspect (and a mixed aspect), and I want to express that.  And sometimes I really want a fully female body.

But I've also found dressing arousing before, though not often.  And I have fantasised about having sex whilst dressed, or as a full physical woman.  I'm not sure how connected this is to my gender identity, or if it's separate. 

My sexuality is all kinds of messed up and odd anyway, and there's definitely an autosexual narcissistic element for me which might be connected to that occasional arousal when dressing - that I desire my female self.

[sally0196]

Pygmalion,

I absolutely adore your frank honestly regarding your feelings.  I think that is such a healthy mindset.  Like you, my feelings when I'm presenting as a female are so complex they cannot be contained by singular label or a simple definition.  I adore being feminine and expressing that femininity is so very liberating.  But there is often a sexual aspect to it, which I acknowledge may come from that "autosexual narcissistic," as you say, set of feelings I possess. I have had friends tell me that those specific feelings tend to go away after transition.  I have no desire to transition, though, so I'll have to accept my Autoerotic thoughts and feelings, if that's what they are. The bottom line is that each of us is complex, with feelings that span the boundaries of both gender and sexual. Personally, I think it is perfectly okay be motivated by either or both.

Hugs,

Sally

[Pygmalion]

Thank you Sally

I try to be as honest and open as I can about my gender and sexuality because not only do I want to live as authentic a life as possible, but I've found it helps others to talk about themselves too.
I haven't spoken much about my sexuality issues on this board because it isn't really appropriate, but on other forums that are focussed more on sexuality issues I am quite open about my rather unusual sexuality as I am in RL - which has led to some very interesting exchanges, lol.

I agree with you that sexuality is hugely complex, and the interplay between sex and gender just further complicates it all - I just try to better understand myself as I go, being willing to change labels or re-think old ideas as I develop.  Always a process

[Linde]

- I just try to better understand myself as I go, being willing to change labels or re-think old ideas as I develop.  Always a process

You have to!  For most of my life I thought that I was a plain old vanilla heterosexual, with just a few kinks to spice it up a little.
And now i have to face the fact that I am as lesbian as they come, with no lesbian experience whatsoever!  I slowly try to get involved in this part of my social future, and may be just as plain as vanilla lesbian, or I might be so full of kinks to be considered to be a pervert, who knows?  I have to see how my future sex life will develop?

[Pygmalion]

Indeed Linde
I think my sexuality has changed considerably since when I was born, or at least my early years.  I used to be a fairly normalish heterosexual, and if my life had been different I probably would have stayed that way.  Maybe.

It's not even that I have discovered more of myself, it's that my sexuality has genuinely changed over time - something I've discovered is more common than folk realise by talking to a lot of folk on sexuality focussed fora.

Such is life.  Complex and ever prone to change.  Hence why I just roll with it now ... Fighting it is painful, tiring, and ultimately futile. . You end up in the same place anyway, it's just a whole lot easier to go along with it than try to fight it.

[Linde]

.  Hence why I just roll with it now ... Fighting it is painful, tiring, and ultimately futile. . You end up in the same place anyway, it's just a whole lot easier to go along with it than try to fight it.

That's what I am trying now.  i was single for 16 years and fought so hard to make me think  I am hetero, cause hetero si the life I know and am used to.  I really thought I was homophobic that I did not care for men, and I worked hard to overcome this homophobic feeling. 
I never would have thought that I would be rock hard lesbian!  If I would have given in to my feelings years earlier, and not trying to become something I never was, I might now be living in a happy lesbian marriage.  Instead I fought against windmills, and could never win, and now I have to learn to be lesbian anyway!

[Pygmalion]

Yup.
I'm sorry that you had such a long/hard, possibly painful, journey, but your lived experience can help inform others about their journeys.

And I'm glad you now seem to have arrived in a place of acceptance with yourself .

[Linde]

Yup.
I'm sorry that you had such a long/hard, possibly painful, journey, but your lived experience can help inform others about their journeys.

And I'm glad you now seem to have arrived in a place of acceptance with yourself .

Yeah, I wasted half of my life with not becoming a woman, and trying to be an unhappy man instead, and then I wasted half of that one trying to be hetero and being unhappy because this did not work the way I wanted it to work!
Instead of listening to my feelings and go the route that is right for me!  I hope it is right now?

One thing I know is not right for me is BDSM, cause I would break the arms of anybody who would even make the attempt of hurting me!
I have been hurt enough for a lifetime, when I was young and attempted to be a male person, I don't need any more of that stuff!

[BlueJaye]

Yeah, I wasted half of my life with not becoming a woman, and trying to be an unhappy man instead, and then I wasted half of that one trying to be hetero and being unhappy because this did not work the way I wanted it to work!
Instead of listening to my feelings and go the route that is right for me!  I hope it is right now?

One thing I know is not right for me is BDSM, cause I would break the arms of anybody who would even make the attempt of hurting me!
I have been hurt enough for a lifetime, when I was young and attempted to be a male person, I don't need any more of that stuff!

Same here. I've experienced things nobody should have to experience. I hate pain and want as little of it as possible.

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[mikebipan]

always

[C-Woo]

i have noticed that i will have the urge to go in to girl mode, and thats fun and all. i can be dressed up and fem for 15 minutes, or all day, but eventually i'll get horney (as i do even when i'm a guy because thats just life) and after i spank it, it's like "okay i'm done. time to get on with my day" and i don't feel like wanting to be fem anymore. however, after some time goes by, SOMETIMES i feel like getting all Fem again, but not usually.
This right here, is why i don't think i'm trans, but it's partially a fetish in addition to expressing my feminine side.

Thats just my input.

[JennyTG]

When the occasion is right and the moon is full.

[CalVisitor]

Hmmmm....

...My sexuality is all kinds of messed up and odd anyway, and there's definitely an autosexual narcissistic element for me which might be connected to that occasional arousal when dressing - that I desire my female self.

I read this yesterday before registering and it stayed with me... autosexual narcissism...  I don't dress to pass and I don't need anyone else to see me.  For years I didn't dress at all but then I was often focused on pornography for sexual release... but I preferred lesbians or pre-op transsexuals... perhaps tied to some fantasy of autosexual narcissism.  Was I most interested in having sex with my female self?  That rings very true for me, even now.  The complicating factor is the gynecomastia I've had since adolescence has been having its way with me as I've gotten older and testosterone levels diminishes.  I don't need to use breast forms to fill out a brassiere and I seem quite smitten with those breasts, my breasts... again?  Autosexual narcissism?  Fascinating to consider all of this.  I appreciate this thread... its got me thinking in new ways about an old subject.

[barbie]

As I have posted in another thread, when I was children, I was strangely attracted to the photos of hosiery models. Their legs looked so sexy. In 30 years, I realized that my own legs look the same.



I also remember that the facial profile of a woman in a cosmetics ad photo looked so elegant and beautiful when I was a teen. In 40 years, I happened to realize that my own profile looks similar.



As I could not see my own legs and profile through the eyes of others so easily, even through the mirror, I have puzzled how I could search and pursue my own images from other women. This is different from narcissism or the BAT. Of course, I am sometimes mesmerized by my own image.

Because of the past lives and reincarnation? I don't know. BTW, I have never been on HRT.

barbie~~