Community Conversation > Crossdresser talk

Crossdressing as a sexual release

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vanityfair63:
I discovered crossdressing at a very young age and later on I discovered self pleasure while wearing panties. I used to feel so guilty because of this, but as I have aged and still doing this, it does not bother me as much. I am married and have never shared this with my wife, so it's always done while I am alone. I can and do still like having sex with her, but I also enjoy my dressing alone time too. I am wondering if others do this regularly?

Rakel:
Over the years, I have come to know many cross dressers. Most are heterosexual married men. They tell me they do not want to make any permanent changes because they truly enjoy sex with their wives. Some tell me that they just need a temporary release from their dysphoria and not any sexual release. While others do need a sexual release, but for any number of reasons, full transition is not possible or even desired.

I have no idea how many of each group are out there. It will be interesting to see how prevalent the sexual component of our condition is.

For me, I rarely cross dressed. I found it not fulfilling. My dysphoria was gender related, not sexual in nature.

Devlyn:

--- Quote from: vanityfair63 on October 31, 2019, 09:15:30 pm ---I discovered crossdressing at a very young age and later on I discovered self pleasure while wearing panties. I used to feel so guilty because of this, but as I have aged and still doing this, it does not bother me as much. I am married and have never shared this with my wife, so it's always done while I am alone. I can and do still like having sex with her, but I also enjoy my dressing alone time too. I am wondering if others do this regularly?

--- End quote ---

It was the first step on my journey. After awhile, the urges went away, and I just felt better when dressed. That's when I switched from the stunning dresses, high heels and hose to casual everyday wear.

Hugs, Devlyn

Pygmalion:
Hmmmm....

I find it very complex for me.

Dressing for me is most often more of a part of a sort of genderqueer self identity: I have a feminine aspect (and a mixed aspect), and I want to express that.  And sometimes I really want a fully female body.

But I've also found dressing arousing before, though not often.  And I have fantasised about having sex whilst dressed, or as a full physical woman.  I'm not sure how connected this is to my gender identity, or if it's separate. 

My sexuality is all kinds of messed up and odd anyway, and there's definitely an autosexual narcissistic element for me which might be connected to that occasional arousal when dressing - that I desire my female self.



sally0196:
Pygmalion,

I absolutely adore your frank honestly regarding your feelings.  I think that is such a healthy mindset.  Like you, my feelings when I'm presenting as a female are so complex they cannot be contained by singular label or a simple definition.  I adore being feminine and expressing that femininity is so very liberating.  But there is often a sexual aspect to it, which I acknowledge may come from that "autosexual narcissistic," as you say, set of feelings I possess. I have had friends tell me that those specific feelings tend to go away after transition.  I have no desire to transition, though, so I'll have to accept my Autoerotic thoughts and feelings, if that's what they are. The bottom line is that each of us is complex, with feelings that span the boundaries of both gender and sexual. Personally, I think it is perfectly okay be motivated by either or both.

Hugs,

Sally

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