Author Topic: Parker's Process  (Read 545 times)

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Offline ParkerTalks

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Parker's Process
« on: November 07, 2019, 10:50:27 pm »
Starting my own transition thread because why not!

Finally went to the first actual session with my new gender therapist.
It was a good experience!
She actually asked me about why I wanted an official diagnosis/letter because didn't "doctors in this state use informed consent"? And I had to explain it was for insurance purposes, which seems to have cleared it up a lot for her, LOL. She talked about how they don't normally do formal diagnosis unless they need to (for something like insurance) because they aren't fans of the traditional gatekeeping version of gender therapy! She actually said "gatekeeping"! And she's totally accepting of me being nonbinary, she even uses both she/her and they/them pronouns herself!
I'm thrilled and so relieved, I've heard so many bad stories about gender therapists.

She said we would only need to do a few sessions for a diagnosis letter, but we could do more if I wanted to. Happy happy happy on that one. This speeds up my plan considerably, the previous estimate on appointments during intake was 8!!
[Though, it's sadly quelled by the fact that I found out today that my insurance only covers HRT after age 18+, so my family will have to pay for the first couple doses if I get it on the new timeline :( since I don't turn 18 till early february.]

This means I can probably get a letter for HRT by the first week or 2 of December, and hopefully a prescription before the new year  :laugh: :laugh: I'll toast to that!


Edit: realized I should have explained here where I am transition-wise outside of medically.

- First questioned my gender identity (consciously) in the summer of 2015.

- I came out to a couple close friends that autumn, and I started incrementally androgenizing my appearance pretty much with the start of 2016.

- A little over 3 years ago (autumn of 2016) I cut all my hair off. Cut it from about the bottom of my shoulder blades to a pixie cut. Since then it's gradually gotten shorter and into a more masculine style.

- I came out to most of my friends in the autumn of 2016-autumn of 2017.

- I came out to my parents in the spring of 2017.

By now, I've long since done all of the things on the lists of "small things you can do to ease dysphoria before coming out and transitioning".

- I came out to my extended family almost a month ago. I'm officially as out as I plan to be until summer of 2020.



I will update you guys when I get more details  ;)
-Parker
- Parker    ??? :-\








Offline Sarah-Red

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Re: Parker's Process
« Reply #1 on: November 07, 2019, 11:18:47 pm »
Congrats!
Sounds like a pretty good therapist. Mine didn't even think to use the right pronouns or anything. But I did get the letter in record time :laugh: (ie after the first session)

Have a good time, hope it feels good to be on the way. (looks like it does)

Online Northern Star Girl

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Re: Parker's Process
« Reply #2 on: November 07, 2019, 11:19:20 pm »
@ParkerTalks
Dear Parker:
I am so very glad to see that you have started you own personal thread where you can share you transition journey with my like-minded and supportive members here.    Your thread will be a great place for you to share your successes and also your disappointments.

When you report good news, your readers and followers will rejoice with you.... and when your news is not-so-good we will lend you our ear and offer our shoulders for you to lean on.  We are you biggest supporters and we are always rooting for your success.

I will be eagerly following your thread as you continue posting and sharing your updates, but only as you feel comfortable doing.


Best Wishes to you,
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline ParkerTalks

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Re: Parker's Process
« Reply #3 on: November 08, 2019, 07:06:44 pm »


This is my voice currently, by the way. It's all over the place. I'm Aspergers and have very little vocal pitch or volume or tone control.

Edit: won't embed, here's a link
https://flic.kr/p/2hH68nF
- Parker    ??? :-\








Offline ParkerTalks

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Re: Parker's Process
« Reply #4 on: November 13, 2019, 08:57:54 pm »
Hello everyone!

My gender therapist has said she'd be willing to do a letter after probably our next appointment.
I'm not sure if I want to do it that soon though, or have a few more appointments with her. I want to get HRT started by the new year.

Thoughts?
- Parker    ??? :-\








Offline Sarah-Red

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Re: Parker's Process
« Reply #5 on: November 13, 2019, 10:27:57 pm »
Do it when you're ready :P
Maybe you'll feel good about it after one or a few more of those appointments.

Offline ParkerTalks

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Re: Parker's Process
« Reply #6 on: December 12, 2019, 02:43:13 am »
Greetings all,

I saw the first draft of my HRT letter today at my latest gender therapy appointment. It's looking good.
I've now been officially diagnosed with gender dysphoria. Whoopie!

Unfortunately it's looking like my endo can't even prescribe HRT until I turn 18 because of my insurance, regardless of if I fill the prescription. So I'm going to have to reschedule my 1st HRT appointment to mid-february and I guess I'll take my 1st dose on March 1st (for an easy to remember date).

Unfortunately things aren't moving along much otherwise. My family, while they initially seemed accepting, have been misgendering me, and only sometimes using my name. I'm too much of a coward to correct them. We'll see how things go over the holidays.
- Parker    ??? :-\








Offline Sarah-Red

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Re: Parker's Process
« Reply #7 on: December 12, 2019, 11:52:53 am »
Hey that means at least it's coming in not too long! 3 months will go by in a flash ;p
I think family can be slow on some things, and they've known you as you were for a long time. If you can find nice ways to remind them about your gender, they might catch on eventually, keep being you :)

I only got to see my letter after it was sent, and I was disappointed she put 'Mr.' and used male pronouns, but what do I care, I have my hormones now :D

Offline AllieSF

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Re: Parker's Process
« Reply #8 on: December 12, 2019, 02:36:18 pm »
Yes, congrats on getting your letter.  As for family, at least they occasionally use the correct pronouns and correct name.  One trick you may start using with your family is to bring a little bit of happiness to your requests to use the terms and name that you want.  At first I would do it individually when you are basically alone with one of the offenders, like you Mom or Dad.  I use this trick with friends when needed.  They all accept me and try, but also forget a lot.  So, I will say "she" when someone says "he" and kind of laugh or giggle and at a minimum smile after I correct them.  With your Mom you may say to her, when out of earshot of others, "Hey Mom, it's he!  You know I love you and need your support.  I am still the same old silly me.",  or something similar.  Sometimes correcting someone close in front of others does not get the same positive result compared to a one on one moment.  They then do not have to worry about losing face, being criticized, in front of others, and you can then help them get it right more times without it getting too hard on them.  I always try to keep it light, except when I need to have a serious sit down conversation.  Even then, I try to inject a bit of humor at the end.

Good luck,

Allie
HRT - February 2017
Full Time - July 2018
Orchi - January 2018
BA - September 25, 2019
FFS - January 10, 2020
GRS - TBDDD (To Be Determined, Decision and Date)

Offline ParkerTalks

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Re: Parker's Process
« Reply #9 on: February 25, 2020, 12:37:42 am »
Heyo,

Lots of news!!

1. I filed my name change/gender change paperwork on friday (2/21/20), and got a date of June 17th on which my court order will be ready to pick up. After that I've got to file the court order with all of the different legal agencies, and hopefully all my identification documents should be updated by the end of the summer.

2. I go to my appointment to get an HRT prescription this friday (2/28/20) and I hope to start on March 1st.

3. I chose a new PCP who's experienced with trans patients, and I've set up an appointment with her for May 18th to discuss her referring me for top surgery.

Things are moving along  :D
- Parker    ??? :-\








Offline ParkerTalks

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Re: Parker's Process
« Reply #10 on: June 26, 2020, 10:07:42 am »
Hello all,

Things got crazy irl and I temporarily forgot this website existed  :laugh: I found out about and had to pack up and move in under a month. 13 years there meant lots of stuff. I was simultaneously graduating. It was quite a wild ride.

I started testosterone on March 4th, in gel form. I got the dose increased June 5th. I am now nearing on 4 months on testosterone.

Sadly, not much has happened. The only noticeable change has been hair growth (bc of course it would be that ::) ) on my legs and stomach. My lower leg hair has gotten thicker and my thighs have grown hair in spots that previously didn't have it (previously only had it on the backs of my thighs, it has spread to the inner side and appears to me growing now on the tops). I can see my vellus hairs darkening on my stomach and mid torso. It is very clearly on a path to being full blown body hair. I think the internal temperature changes have started to kick in a bit, but I'm not totally sure of it. My cycle started out irregular and is now even MORE irregular and seemingly slightly lighter. I'm not sure of it, but I think I may have had a small amount of bottom growth. I think my migraines may be less frequent, though that could also be attributed to my medications.

Disappointingly, my voice has yet to change. I am patiently awaiting it dropping and cracking. Any day now, hopefully.... I have a singular chin hair which I used to pluck, but I have to keep it right now so that I know whether hair growing is that or new ones. It's driving me insane, especially since it has darkened quite a bit.

Due to the pandemic of course everything in the world has kind of stopped. Needless to say my local court system isn't doing anything but emergency cases. So I have no idea when my name/gender change order will come through, which is honestly quite a problem as it means I am an adult with no ID (school ID worked for some stuff, but now I'm graduated so that's gone). Agravatting because it means I can't get a debit card or do anything that requires an ID.

I met with my PCP to get a referral for a top surgery consultation in mid May, and basically found out that it has to be someone within my medical group and so I've been sent to this guy who I can't find any information about him working with trans patients online. Ugh.
The consultation has had to be rescheduled several times due to emergency surgeries the doc had to do as one of his specialities is facial reconstructive surgery. It's pretty common for people to get their faces smashed in by car crashes and such, so thats my best guess as to what's come up. The consultation is currently set for July 6th, we'll see what happens.
I have a bunch of irrational worries about the consultation/surgery, which is unlike me and honestly quite odd. I'm FINALLY meeting with my gender therapist again (since january!) on the 1st, which will be good for addressing those worries and also getting a letter from her so I can do surgery.

Hopefully all goes well, I will update you all again after the consultation most likely.
- Parker
- Parker    ??? :-\








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