Author Topic: Coming out to Christian Counselor??  (Read 277 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline supertall_nobody

  • Newbie
  • **
  • Posts: 46
  • Reputation: +1/-0
  • Gender: Female
Coming out to Christian Counselor??
« on: November 21, 2019, 02:35:36 pm »
So my wife has been seeing a christian counselor for her OCD since June, and more recently I have gone to a few sessions of "marriage therapy" with this lady (initially my wife's therapist).

I have a couple of individual appointments coming up to work through some personality issues I have with my wife.  I am debating whether or not it is a good idea to come out to this therapist.

What are the pros/cons to coming out to a shared counselor (definitely not a gender therapist)?  Since we cannot attend separate counselors right now, is it a good idea to work with this therapist?

Please share your thoughts and experiences.

Offline Rakel

  • Formerly known as Dani
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 3,825
  • Reputation: +52/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Rakel@susans.org
Re: Coming out to Christian Counselor??
« Reply #1 on: November 21, 2019, 10:16:20 pm »
If your counselor has no training in gender issues, I would not mention any of my gender concerns to that person.

One concern I have is confidentiality. Can you tell this counselor things that you are not ready to tell your wife at this time? Another concern is that, maybe, it is time to put all your concerns out on the table and let these issues sink in for everybody to come to terms with.

If you have a problem, how can you solve the problem if the other person does not know about it? Timing here is important. Is your wife ready  to listen to your concerns?

Just my thoughts.




_______________________________________________________________

Retired Pharmacist with over 40 years experience in Hospital and Retail Pharmacies.
I still keep my professional licence active and in good standing.


Offline Haley Conner

  • *
  • Posts: 575
  • Reputation: +4/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Coming out to Christian Counselor??
« Reply #2 on: November 21, 2019, 10:29:20 pm »
My gut instinct says no.  I think it would only further collude the issue.

Offline supertall_nobody

  • Newbie
  • **
  • Posts: 46
  • Reputation: +1/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Coming out to Christian Counselor??
« Reply #3 on: November 22, 2019, 07:23:03 am »
Thank you both for your thoughtful responses.  That was my biggest concern is whether confidentiality can be upheld given the established co-client relationship with my wife.  If I tell this therapist and it impacts my wife, does she have a basis to share that without my consent?  I think I am going to err on the side of caution and not bring it up.

But then as you said, there is no way to work towards resolution until it is out there. 

My main hesitancy in coming out is timing.  My wife is totally consumed right now battling her OCD.  I fear that adding in the stress of my GD right now may push her over the edge.  At a minimum it will be a distraction from her recovery.

My malignant selflessness urges me to put my issues on the back burner for now so she can focus and hopefully find her way to freedom, balance, and mental health herself.

Offline AnonyMs

  • *****
  • Posts: 3,938
  • Reputation: +38/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Coming out to Christian Counselor??
« Reply #4 on: November 22, 2019, 08:16:50 am »
There's a great post on red flags with therapists that you might find useful

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,162266.0.html

Tags: