Author Topic: FFS with Dr. Zukowski, December 2019  (Read 2680 times)

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Offline Oldandcreaky

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Re: FFS with Dr. Zukowski, December 2019
« Reply #20 on: January 30, 2020, 08:20:09 am »
I told this story in another thread, but I'll tell it again with a bit more detail. My job put me front of hundreds of new people everyday where they'd literally stare at me for hours. I don't fancy makeup or feminine clothing, plus I'm 5' 11", which draws additional attention, so my face is an essential gender marker. Well, I flew to Dr. Suporn after years of standing in front of hundreds of thousands of people and when I regained consciousness, I touched my eyebrow and was shocked to find my brow ridge utterly gone, as is yours. However, the rest of my face took a couple YEARS to reach its current femininity.

I did an event about four weeks after FFS and a couple in the audience were gender-confused, which hadn't happened pre-FFS for decades. However, in a couple years, I was astonished to see the feminized version of my old face in the mirror and it still surprises and delights me today. In short, your swelling will take a two-year old's lifetime to subside. You'll have to circle the Sun twice. You'll have to go to sleep 730 times.

Sadly, you simply can't see your new face yet. Wait, wait, wait. Find something to preoccupy yourself for a couple years: work, home, exercise, love, giving, etc. and then you'll see you and others will see you too.

Offline scrambledeggs

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Re: FFS with Dr. Zukowski, December 2019
« Reply #21 on: February 03, 2020, 10:46:02 am »
Okay, here we are at 8 weeks!  Thank you Lily and Creaky.

First off, some new Befores, so we have a basis for comparison.





Next, current state.  I don't know how I feel about it.  On some levels, I feel like, "maybe I'm more femme," and on other levels I feel like I look just as masc but now with odd or unnatural features.







It's not easy to share these, because I do *not* feel like I look good.  There's another thread running currently where the OP thinks FFS didn't work for her, and I'm having those same emotions, just I'm restraining expressing them while reading that it really does take months for the final appearance to settle in.

My nose had an existing asymmetry at the nostrils before, but you couldn't see it because they pointed down.  Now in addition to the upturn making that asymmetry more visible, the overall vertical lines of my nose look crooked to me in a way they didn't before.  I keep on worrying about my nose and whether the massage regimen will improve it or whether I'm somehow making it worse.

My lip is still weirdly higher on one side, as with my eyebrow.  In theory that's supposed to even out.

It's difficult to show scar healing in these photos; I'm pretty confident about the forehead, whereas around the nose where I had the antibiotic reaction it's still gnarly in a way that isn't visible in these pictures.

It's all so strange and I just don't have scopes on my own face right now.

Hi Belle,

I looked at your latest pictures and you look like you're healing well. I can definitely see the changes in your face but I also know EXACTLY how you feel because it's my thread you are referring to.

For me it feels like the surgeon made a lot of superficial changes that "feminized" my face without actually making me look feminine. It's closer to female but it doesn't quite make it, like there are some fundamental masculinities that weren't addressed and maybe they're not things that can be fixed. Those things make it hard to see a woman in the mirror.


Offline BelleInStarfleet

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Re: FFS with Dr. Zukowski, December 2019
« Reply #22 on: February 09, 2020, 07:08:15 pm »
I told this story in another thread, but I'll tell it again with a bit more detail. My job put me front of hundreds of new people everyday where they'd literally stare at me for hours. I don't fancy makeup or feminine clothing, plus I'm 5' 11", which draws additional attention, so my face is an essential gender marker. Well, I flew to Dr. Suporn after years of standing in front of hundreds of thousands of people and when I regained consciousness, I touched my eyebrow and was shocked to find my brow ridge utterly gone, as is yours. However, the rest of my face took a couple YEARS to reach its current femininity.

I did an event about four weeks after FFS and a couple in the audience were gender-confused, which hadn't happened pre-FFS for decades. However, in a couple years, I was astonished to see the feminized version of my old face in the mirror and it still surprises and delights me today. In short, your swelling will take a two-year old's lifetime to subside. You'll have to circle the Sun twice. You'll have to go to sleep 730 times.

Sadly, you simply can't see your new face yet. Wait, wait, wait. Find something to preoccupy yourself for a couple years: work, home, exercise, love, giving, etc. and then you'll see you and others will see you too.

Wow, what a fabulously useful story!  Thank you.  I knew that it took time, and this is longer than expected.  But the thought of getting there is a good one.

I'm concerned about the eyebrows--my right one is substantively higher than my left.  On the day of the surgery, Dr. Z thought my left was a little higher (invisibly to my eye, by a millimeter or two) and said he'd correct the asymmetry.  In theory, what looks like a significant overcorrection should come down and balance out as swelling subsides, and I certainly hope that's the case.

My face in general looks weird and imbalanced to me in its current state.  The incision mark around my right nostril is also quite stark in a way that this lighting can't show.  I'll update in a few weeks if I'm still concerned about its healing.  My forehead incision is quite well healed for two months out.

On the bright side, I was very concerned about a piggy nose at first, and that seems to be fine now.  It'll probably come down a bit more even, but it's already fine and below piggy levels.  Now the question is whether reduction in swelling will lead to it looking much thinner than originally.

I'm trying to make regular updates even if the changes per day aren't as big anymore.





Offline Oldandcreaky

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Re: FFS with Dr. Zukowski, December 2019
« Reply #23 on: February 09, 2020, 07:49:54 pm »
I'm glad it was helpful. Getting your eyebrows done will help a lot. It looks like you still have facial hair too. Am I right? If so, electrolysis will help, as will more time on estrogen. But I can see you're still swollen. I can also see you have fine facial structure. A lot of beauty is in the bones and you have a good skull. I once sat in a bar with a beautiful woman and men were clearly craving her and she said, "They crave my skull." I loved that line.

Offline BelleInStarfleet

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Re: FFS with Dr. Zukowski, December 2019
« Reply #24 on: February 09, 2020, 10:03:26 pm »
I'm glad it was helpful. Getting your eyebrows done will help a lot. It looks like you still have facial hair too. Am I right? If so, electrolysis will help, as will more time on estrogen. But I can see you're still swollen. I can also see you have fine facial structure. A lot of beauty is in the bones and you have a good skull. I once sat in a bar with a beautiful woman and men were clearly craving her and she said, "They crave my skull." I loved that line.

These two pictures are from just after getting my eyebrows done today!  They look a bit nicer but it didn't help with the imbalance, which looks the same in a picture taken yesterday.

I had my 11th laser hair removal treatment two days ago.  My fur is unbelievably resilient, especially considering it's dark against my light skin and so should be ideal for laser removal.

But, a good skull!  I'll run with that.

Offline Dorit

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Re: FFS with Dr. Zukowski, December 2019
« Reply #25 on: February 10, 2020, 02:44:57 am »

On the bright side, I was very concerned about a piggy nose at first, and that seems to be fine now.  It'll probably come down a bit more even, but it's already fine and below piggy levels.  Now the question is whether reduction in swelling will lead to it looking much thinner than originally.

I also had a rhinoplasty as part of my FFS.  The surgeon said it would take 6 months or more to see the final result.  I did not believe him and was disappointed after two months.  Six months later i was amazed at the results, my nose was much thinner and prettier!  It will happen to you too!   Be patient and you will be very pretty.   As was previously written, you have the bones for a beautiful face!
I first told a psychiatrist that I wanted to be a girl 1967 after a psychotic breakdown
Began therapy again with gender specialist 50 years later in September 2017
Began HRT November 2017
Name change with Israel Ministry of Interior March 2018
FFS September 2018
GCS December 2018
Gender change with Israel Ministry of Interior January 2019
BA July 2020

Offline scrambledeggs

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Re: FFS with Dr. Zukowski, December 2019
« Reply #26 on: February 10, 2020, 08:12:10 am »
These two pictures are from just after getting my eyebrows done today!  They look a bit nicer but it didn't help with the imbalance, which looks the same in a picture taken yesterday.

I had my 11th laser hair removal treatment two days ago.  My fur is unbelievably resilient, especially considering it's dark against my light skin and so should be ideal for laser removal.

But, a good skull!  I'll run with that.

I have eyebrow asymmetry, too. And nose asymmetrical, and my lip lift. I avoid taking pictures straight on because there's so much asymmetry and it makes me look super ugly.

I have a little hope as it's only been 3.5 months for me, but not much because seriously how the hell did I come out looking worse than I went in? I feel like he tried to overcompensate for minor asymmetries no one could even see and ended up messing my face up worse.

Offline BelleInStarfleet

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Re: FFS with Dr. Zukowski, December 2019
« Reply #27 on: February 13, 2020, 12:57:07 am »
I have eyebrow asymmetry, too. And nose asymmetrical, and my lip lift. I avoid taking pictures straight on because there's so much asymmetry and it makes me look super ugly.

I have a little hope as it's only been 3.5 months for me, but not much because seriously how the hell did I come out looking worse than I went in? I feel like he tried to overcompensate for minor asymmetries no one could even see and ended up messing my face up worse.

This is exactly what I feel like right now!  I'm just hoping that the word about asymmetrical healing and the weird imbalance equaling out in about four more months for me, three for you, comes true.

It seems like feeling disappointed with results at first is normal.  Dr. Z says he stands by his work, so if there's still a significant asymmetry after a year, then I believe he'll do a revision.  I *really* don't want to do one, but I'm pretty sure that raising one eyebrow a little is a much smaller surgery than what we just had done.

Just three weeks ago, my nose still looked "piggy."  I can't see the changes day by day, but looking not long ago at all, I'm like "JFC I looked like garbage."

Offline doll_beauty

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Re: FFS with Dr. Zukowski, December 2019
« Reply #28 on: March 23, 2020, 11:57:18 am »
Belle you are looking amazing!!!!!!! Hang in there, try not to stare in the mirror too much every day. Your face will continue to change. I had a nose job sept 2019 and I was unhappy at first, but now 6 months later its still changing. At first I looked at it every day but now that I pay less attention to it, I am able to notice the changes when I do look. And they are good changes. I think you look great and I am happy to hear you had a good experience with Dr.z

Offline BelleInStarfleet

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Re: FFS with Dr. Zukowski, December 2019
« Reply #29 on: March 27, 2020, 06:22:41 pm »
Thanks, Doll_Beauty!

Here's me earlier this month, before we went on lockdown.  I haven't had much cause to dress up for going out since then!  I'll continue to post less forgiving pictures that show a clear before/after also, but for right now, this shot does a good job at conveying that I look more femme than before.  I put it on my Tinder and have had people right-swiping me without realizing I'm trans a lot more (which is a plus and a minus but it's in my profile so...).

My eyebrows are still uneven, and my face still feels pulled tightly around the incisions at my forehead and below my nose.  Healing really is a long process.


Offline Oldandcreaky

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Re: FFS with Dr. Zukowski, December 2019
« Reply #30 on: March 31, 2020, 04:35:07 pm »
Hey, pretty girl!

Offline MichelleA

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Re: FFS with Dr. Zukowski, December 2019
« Reply #31 on: April 19, 2020, 04:55:09 pm »





Hi Belle,

You're looking great!  Whatever minor issues you see, compared to what you've already been through, are just minor.  Most anything can be adjusted/corrected.  Every month that goes by you will only look better.  I hope you're able to enjoy the rest of your journey.


Michelle
Finally discovered the real ME: September 5, 2019
Started HRT: September 20, 2019
Out to my wife: October 25, 2019
Out to my closest friends and family: February 9, 2020
Out at work: July 31, 2020

Offline BelleInStarfleet

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Re: FFS with Dr. Zukowski, December 2019
« Reply #32 on: May 06, 2020, 06:29:12 pm »
6 month mark!  Time for more Before/After.  These pictures are unforgiving.  No makeup, no friendly lighting, so you can see exactly what makes the difference from surgery after 6 months.




Likes:
Forehead less prominent
Eyebrows higher
I have eyelids now!
Upper lip fuller
Nose more feminine
Nose did not go piggy!

Concerns (that I hope will go away after the full year):
Still can't feel much on the top of my head, forehead muscles still feel very stretched
Eyebrows slightly imbalanced, higher on right
Upper lip slightly higher on right
Upper nose no thinner than before, looks broader than before in some pictures
Scar under nose a bit more visible than ideal (doesn't show in picture)

I have not yet returned for the added fat to cheeks and lips.

Do I look overall more feminine?  I believe yes.
Am I passing?  Generally no.
Would the additional work on the jaw make the difference?  I'm guessing no, but maybe.

But here's a big one: is looking at my face in the mirror (or on Zoom!) less dysphoric?  Yes.  Definitely yes.

Offline Oldandcreaky

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Re: FFS with Dr. Zukowski, December 2019
« Reply #33 on: May 06, 2020, 07:05:32 pm »
You pretty much pass in profile. Your nose, as you noted, is too thick, but a nose post-rhinoplasty stays swollen for months and months. Consider using electrolysis to thin your eyebrows. Your chin is fine. Many pretty women have larger chins than yours.

Offline Rakel

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Re: FFS with Dr. Zukowski, December 2019
« Reply #34 on: May 06, 2020, 07:08:46 pm »
Belle,

Once the nail and eyebrow spas open again, a good eyebrow shaping can do wonders to even out your eyebrows.

My eyebrows were somewhat uneven right after my FFS, but after a few visits to my local eyebrow spa, my brows are thinner and much more even.




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Offline BelleInStarfleet

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Re: FFS with Dr. Zukowski, December 2019
« Reply #35 on: June 27, 2020, 01:59:38 pm »
Update at 7.5 months!



Out of curiosity, I tried seeing what would happen on Photofeeler, which uses some pretty good math to turn relatively small samples sizes into meaningful results.

This comes from women's ratings of my attractiveness in comparison with other women my age, with no heads up that I am trans.



None of the comments clocked me.  They just marked me as attractive a bit ahead of the average for women my age.  Wait, really?  I kind of thought that ugly but at least not clocked was the best I could hope for.

A friend put better eye makeup on me that morning than I currently can do, but my hair is just put up in a hair tie.  It's a casual photo from a moment outdoors with no one around, with an autofix applied because it was originally dark.  This is what I look like now.

I still have some swelling to go down, but it's improving. 

Offline Rakel

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Re: FFS with Dr. Zukowski, December 2019
« Reply #36 on: June 27, 2020, 07:31:52 pm »
Stunning, Belle.

I think that you deserve a better rating than that. You seem much happier now.  ;)




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Offline Oldandcreaky

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Re: FFS with Dr. Zukowski, December 2019
« Reply #37 on: June 27, 2020, 08:19:58 pm »
You keep looking better and better. I like your up-do!

Offline Lily Ivy

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Re: FFS with Dr. Zukowski, December 2019
« Reply #38 on: June 28, 2020, 03:38:37 am »
You look stunning, girl! I loved the makeup, I think I'll try to do it  :D

Thanks for share with us how your process is going

Offline MichelleA

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Re: FFS with Dr. Zukowski, December 2019
« Reply #39 on: August 09, 2020, 11:44:17 am »
Hi Belle,

You look amazing and much happier.  I'm so happy for your progress. Take care and stay safe,


--Mikaela
Finally discovered the real ME: September 5, 2019
Started HRT: September 20, 2019
Out to my wife: October 25, 2019
Out to my closest friends and family: February 9, 2020
Out at work: July 31, 2020

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