Author Topic: Jamie's Leap of Faith (maybe?)  (Read 15526 times)

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Offline TXSara

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Re: Jamie's Leap of Faith (maybe?)
« Reply #360 on: May 09, 2022, 05:40:51 pm »
Last night was a long night of not sleeping, chills and sweats, and bad sinus pain.  Not a ton of chest symptoms though.

Sorry to hear that, Jamie.  Hopefully you'll get over it pretty quick.  I actually would prefer to just get it an get it over with than deal with the long quarantine if you DON'T get it.

At least that's how it works where I work -- if you come into contact with someone, you have to quarantine for two weeks.  If you get it, you can come back to work as soon as you're better.  "Come give me a kiss, kid!!  I have stuff to do!"

~Sara

Offline Allison R

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Re: Jamie's Leap of Faith (maybe?)
« Reply #361 on: May 09, 2022, 09:09:21 pm »
I am sorry Jamie. My wife and I had it in July of 20, and it was horrible. All in our chests. Hopefully you'll get yourself and your wife thru it quickly. I am glad the kids are over it. Rest and lots of fluids.

I will be thinking of you.

Allison
I have always known I would have been happier and lived a better life if I were born a woman, I just didn't know that that is the literal definition of the word transgender.

If you're not moving forward, you're moving backwards.

Offline JamieH

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Re: Jamie's Leap of Faith (maybe?)
« Reply #362 on: May 16, 2022, 01:27:18 pm »
Finally over Covid here.  Kids were only sick for like a day but my wife and I got a pretty good taste of it.  Hoping to see a negative test tonight or tomorrow so that we have more comfort in my in-laws visiting from Boston.  I expect it will be negative as my symptoms are essentially gone.

My son turns 7 on Thursday so my in-laws are coming for like 2 weeks.  Recall from earlier in my blog that while I LOVE my in-laws, they're very religiously conservative Polynesian immigrants and they don't know about my situation.  Luckily, no physical changes from the hormones are obvious yet and we intend not to tell them on this visit unless the kids blurt it out.  We want the focus to be on my son's birthday and a fun visit for the kids to spent time with grandma and grandpa.  I have to work for most of their trip but will take a few days off in the mix to do some fun stuff.  We got my son a Nintendo Switch and we're planning a trip to Universal Hollywood on Sunday.    I was trying to lobby the wife to get a PlayStation 5 but she insisted on a Nintendo since she, smartly, knows the PS5 would have been for for me than him lol

As for the HRT, I'm on my 3rd week since switching to SubQ injections from patches.  I do feel a little bit of tenderness under my nipples/areolas so I suppose changes may start manifesting soon.  My dosage is still the starter dosage but we'll see in a few weeks how my labs come back.  I'm eager to step it up.  Most of my anxiety is gone, or at least at a very low baseline.  Not really sure how to describe how any of this "feels" other than to say I think I finally have the right sex hormones in my body.  I'm feeling a lot of clarity around wanting to continue this path, and the consequences, while still heavy, are becoming less powerful as a motivation to deny my true self.  As changes start to appear, I need to start putting more thought into handling coming out at work and stuff. I don't feel a ton of pressure at the moment to figure that out, but it does feeling like it's looming on the horizon. 

Offline TXSara

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Re: Jamie's Leap of Faith (maybe?)
« Reply #363 on: May 16, 2022, 05:42:32 pm »
I was trying to lobby the wife to get a PlayStation 5 but she insisted on a Nintendo since she, smartly, knows the PS5 would have been for for me than him lol

LOL.  Your wife ain't no dummy...

Most of my anxiety is gone, or at least at a very low baseline.  Not really sure how to describe how any of this "feels" other than to say I think I finally have the right sex hormones in my body.  I'm feeling a lot of clarity around wanting to continue this path, and the consequences, while still heavy, are becoming less powerful as a motivation to deny my true self. 

I don't think you can hope for anything better than that, my friend.  That resonates a lot with how I felt at the 2-3 month point.  I figured that I'd get to the point where the physical changes were going to start becoming "permanent" and I would either freak out and want to stop, or I would be ready to step on the gas.  It sounds like you're hitting the latter.  It's a wonderful feeling, right?

As changes start to appear, I need to start putting more thought into handling coming out at work and stuff. I don't feel a ton of pressure at the moment to figure that out, but it does feeling like it's looming on the horizon.

Yep.

I definitely don't want to sound like I have everything figured out, but I will say that I am very happy with my choice to out myself before anyone else had the chance to whisper about it.  My experience has been really positive so far.  Everyone is different, and I don't pretend to know what would be best for you.  I just feel like people are going to find out eventually anyway -- you might as well do it in a way where you have control of the narrative.  You definitely don't want to do things like that until you're ABSOLUTELY sure, but...

Good luck!  I'm happy for you!

~Sara



Offline JamieH

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Re: Jamie's Leap of Faith (maybe?)
« Reply #364 on: May 17, 2022, 01:51:24 pm »
LOL.  Your wife ain't no dummy...

indeed.  It was worth a shot though haha

I don't think you can hope for anything better than that, my friend.  That resonates a lot with how I felt at the 2-3 month point.  I figured that I'd get to the point where the physical changes were going to start becoming "permanent" and I would either freak out and want to stop, or I would be ready to step on the gas.  It sounds like you're hitting the latter.  It's a wonderful feeling, right?

Yeah for sure.  I look back at the condition I was in last October/November and where I am now and I can honestly say I'm in a place of contentment that I never thought I'd be in again.  I'm not out of the woods, not by a million miles, but at least now I feel like I have a map and clarity on the general direction I should be going in.


I definitely don't want to sound like I have everything figured out, but I will say that I am very happy with my choice to out myself before anyone else had the chance to whisper about it.  My experience has been really positive so far.  Everyone is different, and I don't pretend to know what would be best for you.  I just feel like people are going to find out eventually anyway -- you might as well do it in a way where you have control of the narrative.  You definitely don't want to do things like that until you're ABSOLUTELY sure, but...

I tend to agree here.  I wan to keep control of my own narrative.  I'm at a point where whispers are probably still a ways off, nothing is really showing up, but it's definitely getting to be time to start really thinking of a plan.  I think overall people will react more positively than anything but it's just the "bigness" of coming out with this kind of revelation that is scary.  We're still at home 3 days a week, with 2 days in office.  When I'm there I look at all the women and men I work with and just wonder what their TRUE thoughts on stuff like this will be.  Like "how will that woman react when the time comes that I'm entering the ladies' room behind her.  How will the female Senior Partner who speaks to diversity and inclusion actually feel/react when I'm in a stall next to her in the ladies room?  How will that guy who I've been able to joke with in the past and eat lunch with treat me after he finds out I'm trans?  Obviously, there is only one way to find out.  I need to get to the point where my own answers to these questions are "I really don't care what they think".....I suppose now I have a fake it till I make it mentality, but I'd really like to get to the point where I really don't care.

Good luck!  I'm happy for you!

~Sara

Thanks girl....you too!  I've been keeping up with your blog and it seems you have some awesome stuff going on.  I hope everything falls nicely into line for you. 

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