Author Topic: White Rabbit's ramblings  (Read 8266 times)

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Offline Julie H

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Re: White Rabbit's ramblings
« Reply #280 on: January 14, 2021, 06:24:33 pm »
I bought a blood pressure monitor a couple days ago and my BP seems to be 129/71
Julie

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Re: White Rabbit's ramblings
« Reply #281 on: January 14, 2021, 06:34:10 pm »
I bought a blood pressure monitor a couple days ago and my BP seems to be 129/71

@Julie H
Dear Julie:
Great that you can now monitor your blood pressure at home.
If you are ever worried about your blood pressure take it daily or perhaps a couple times a day so you can get
a good idea of how it changes.  Of course your doctor should be in the loop if you have concerns.
HUGS,
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
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A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
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Offline Julie H

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Re: White Rabbit's ramblings
« Reply #282 on: January 26, 2021, 10:58:58 am »
Well down 1 doctor now. My gender psychiatrist and I decided that since I don't really want to transition at this time that we don't need to make any more appointments. With my endo we are down to appointments every year. I am still waiting on a therapist and will likely start seeing a different psychiatrist to deal with my depression.

My doctor upped my dose of antidepressants which so far seems to be actually working. 
Julie

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Re: White Rabbit's ramblings
« Reply #283 on: January 26, 2021, 11:51:34 am »
@Julie H
Dear Julie:
As always I am wishing you well with you personal medical decisions.
I am glad to read that your depression issues appear to be getting solved.

My thoughts and prayers are being sent your way.

HUGS, HUGS, HUGS   
Danielle


Well down 1 doctor now. My gender psychiatrist and I decided that since I don't really want to transition at this time that we don't need to make any more appointments. With my endo we are down to appointments every year. I am still waiting on a therapist and will likely start seeing a different psychiatrist to deal with my depression.

My doctor upped my dose of antidepressants which so far seems to be actually working.
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 41

Offline Maddie

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Re: White Rabbit's ramblings
« Reply #284 on: January 27, 2021, 12:44:14 pm »
Hi Julie.
Glad for your meds are working
That you know what you what you don't want to do, right now.
And you are taking charge of monitoring your BP.


Offline Julie H

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Re: White Rabbit's ramblings
« Reply #285 on: January 27, 2021, 10:26:30 pm »
Thanks Maddie, I just wish things were going better for you.
Julie

Offline Julie H

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Re: White Rabbit's ramblings
« Reply #286 on: January 31, 2021, 08:48:12 pm »
Sigh. The antidepressants seem to be helping but it was a rough weekend. I think that boredom is finally taking it's toll.
Julie

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Re: White Rabbit's ramblings
« Reply #287 on: January 31, 2021, 08:59:58 pm »
Sigh. The antidepressants seem to be helping but it was a rough weekend. I think that boredom is finally taking it's toll.

@Julie H
I am glad to read that your meds are helping.... but you can fight boredom with reading a good "page turner" book, cooking and baking, hobbies such as sewing and quilting, stamp collecting, coin collecting, arts and crafts, etc......

Stay strong and stay on course with your antidepressants.
As always I will be eagerly looking for and reading your updates as you feel comfortable sharing.


HUGS and more HUGS,
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 41

Offline Julie H

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Re: White Rabbit's ramblings
« Reply #288 on: February 07, 2021, 07:39:40 pm »
Lying down listening to music helps even if I do fall asleep. Sleep is my safe space, I rarely get nightmares and even if I do it is about working at the Comic store again. Mostly I feel comfort and even if I don't sleep I can get lost in my own thoughts. Sometimes it isn't for the best but mostly I feel a lack of really bad boredom.

I talked with my doctor last week and we are going to wait another month to possibly raise my dose of antidepressants. She also wants to refer me for a gastric bypass and I said that I would at least talk to the doctor. One of my absolute joy's is sitting at the bow of a Carnival ship drinking presedente beer though it has been a few years for that. A gastric Bypass may mean I can't drink carbonated beverages.

I also mentioned how I was fighting the urge to buy the things I would need to hurt myself and she asked why I didn't. I really have no answer for her I mean probably the most benign answer is I don't want to disappoint her. Other then that I could say I am a fake a charlatan lying to both her and myself that maybe my depression isn't as bad as I think. I really have no idea, she asked a lot of questions I had no idea about.

Well done feeling sorry for myself today.
Julie

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Re: White Rabbit's ramblings
« Reply #289 on: February 07, 2021, 08:10:45 pm »
@Julie H
Dear Julie:
Thank you for posting and sharing.  Your thread... and the Forums in general... are a very good place to vent regarding any issues that you are experiencing.
Hopefully you will be able to come to terms with with how your are feeling about yourself.

Here on the forums we are you biggest fans and we are always wishing for your success and happiness.

Please feel free to continue sharing and venting as you feel comfortable doing.

Many HUGS and best wishes to you.
Daneille

***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 41

Offline RandyL

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Re: White Rabbit's ramblings
« Reply #290 on: February 07, 2021, 08:35:21 pm »
Julie, I hope you can feel better soon. Life has so many possibilities ahead, even if so many are deferred for awhile in the pandemic. Hugs, Randy

Sent from my dual-floppy Victor 9000 using Tapatalk

Casting about for my best path forward...

My personal blog thread: Randy the lost traveler, finding the right road at last

My HRT thread: Randy's HRT Journal


Offline Julie H

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Re: White Rabbit's ramblings
« Reply #291 on: February 07, 2021, 09:31:59 pm »
I usually get suicidal 3-4 months every year, this year is just a bit late and different from what I have experienced before. The pandemic only made me less interested in going out. A friend of mine is retiring from the government in a couple weeks, when he moves back to town and if the lock down is lifted we will likely go out to dinner to celebrate. The real problem is depression kills off any interests I used to have to the point I can't tolerate them anymore. I used to go see a movie every week now I can barely stand to sit through one and only if I really like it. I used to play video games, now not so much.

Though I would like to thank people for their well wishes I don't say that enough.
Julie

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Re: White Rabbit's ramblings
« Reply #292 on: February 07, 2021, 10:12:27 pm »
@Julie H
Dear Julie:
Hang in there girl.... please try very hard to beat the feelings of depression...

Keep posting and sharing.... and venting as you may need to....

I am wishing you well as you try to stay safe and stay healthy.


HUGS      :icon_flower:
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 41

Offline Rachel Montgomery

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Re: White Rabbit's ramblings
« Reply #293 on: February 07, 2021, 10:31:47 pm »
I understand how you feel.  When I get depressed I feel the same way, I lose interest in everything.  I am sorry you are going through it, but you aren’t alone.

Offline Julie H

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Re: White Rabbit's ramblings
« Reply #294 on: February 15, 2021, 09:29:11 pm »
Well thankfully my suicidal feelings only lasted a few days. I find I slip every now and then but generally I feel ....ok. When I talked to my doctor she asked me a few questions that I really didn't have answers to. One such question was why I didn't buy the supplies I would need to kill myself and I really have no answer to that.

Also I agreed to talk to the surgeon that does gastric bypass and see if we are going to proceed with that.
Julie

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Re: White Rabbit's ramblings
« Reply #295 on: February 15, 2021, 09:41:11 pm »
@Julie H
Dear Julie:
I am so very happy to read your good news report and the fact that your depression and suicidal thoughts have diminished greatly.
I am so glad that you have kept your doctor informed about all of this.

I am trusting and hoping that you have a positive conversation with our surgeon regarding your future Gastric Bypass... please, as you feel comfortable doing, continue posting your updates.

I am rooting for you and your success.... stay safe and stay healthy.


HUGS 
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 41

Offline Rachel Montgomery

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Re: White Rabbit's ramblings
« Reply #296 on: February 15, 2021, 10:58:03 pm »

Also I agreed to talk to the surgeon that does gastric bypass and see if we are going to proceed with that.
I don’t know your circumstances.  Gastric bypass may be right for you.  I have been on a diet called “Optavia”.  I have lost over 55lbs since Labor Day.

Offline Maddie

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Re: White Rabbit's ramblings
« Reply #297 on: February 16, 2021, 10:46:42 am »
Hi Julie
Glad you're still around.
Good luck towards your health and surgical paths.
Want you to be happy

Offline Julie H

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Re: White Rabbit's ramblings
« Reply #298 on: February 16, 2021, 10:57:01 am »
Thanks all of you
Julie

Offline Julie H

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Re: White Rabbit's ramblings
« Reply #299 on: February 21, 2021, 09:17:10 pm »
I am beginning to think that the antidepressants are working, I don't seem to be getting as depressed as I have been. I seem to be laughing easier as well. I think on my next doctor's appointment we will be upping the dose again and see how well that works.
Sorry if this is a rehash of what I have posted before I am just super bored right now and that leads to depression.
Julie

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