Author Topic: why won't it end?  (Read 631 times)

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Offline lostfox

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why won't it end?
« on: December 10, 2019, 11:46:34 pm »
I doubt anyone will do anything more than view this so I am probably just typing my own thoughts since there is no one that I can open up too. I have been living as a female for 5 years this was supposed to make me happy my dream turned into a nightmare....why don't I have anyone why am I so isolated even though I have tried all i can to live a good life for some reason I always fail.....we all experience the ugly our families will display upon us going forward the ones that get kicked out the loop are the lucky ones your heartbroken and then its done. for me its not the case my family won't let me leave they keep me sucked in and torment me, terrorize me, taunt me, and sabotage me. what they have done has twisted me up I hurt so bad inside I have lost all hope all motivation. anytime my decision to progress is made soon after my failure arrives...once upon a time i escaped my family but somehow got sucked back in to all abuse that has ruined my mind, my heart and my life. Me experiencing a higher quality of life is now impossible there is no fixing the damage done....i wish it would end....

Offline Julie H

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Re: why won't it end?
« Reply #1 on: December 10, 2019, 11:56:23 pm »
Hugs. As someone who nearly attempted suicide in march I can say from experience that life can get better. Please try to hold on and I am wishing you the strength to carry on.
Julie

Offline Sarah-Red

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Re: why won't it end?
« Reply #2 on: December 11, 2019, 12:28:38 am »
Life isn't always easy, there can be quite a bit that's tough. I know it's not fun. But you know what, isn't it better to go through some stuff as a woman? At least, being truer to who you are? You're the one gong through a rough bit. I think you deserve to be a little proud of yourself for taking the trek. Little by little you may be able to find things that help. Don't give up, there's always hope, potential.

It's ok to be sad too sometimes. Cry it out and see what's on the other side. Take care of yourself k?

Offline christinej78

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Re: why won't it end?
« Reply #3 on: December 11, 2019, 01:44:31 am »
I doubt anyone will do anything more than view this so I am probably just typing my own thoughts since there is no one that I can open up too. I have been living as a female for 5 years this was supposed to make me happy my dream turned into a nightmare....why don't I have anyone why am I so isolated even though I have tried all i can to live a good life for some reason I always fail.....we all experience the ugly our families will display upon us going forward the ones that get kicked out the loop are the lucky ones your heartbroken and then its done. for me its not the case my family won't let me leave they keep me sucked in and torment me, terrorize me, taunt me, and sabotage me. what they have done has twisted me up I hurt so bad inside I have lost all hope all motivation. anytime my decision to progress is made soon after my failure arrives...once upon a time i escaped my family but somehow got sucked back in to all abuse that has ruined my mind, my heart and my life. Me experiencing a higher quality of life is now impossible there is no fixing the damage done....i wish it would end....

Hi Lostfox,                               10 December 2019

I will try to help you, but first, I need to ask you some questions so we can understand what has transpired in your life. So here goes.

1. Are you receiving therapy? Therapy is useful when dealing with the problems being transgender can cause in our lives.

2. We need to know how far along you are in your transition. When you transition, one of the things that needs to happen is the building of a new life for yourself. For many of us, a significant portion of our old life can become part of our new life. Sometimes our old life is toxic so we need to make every effort to remove it from our life.

3. What is the hold that your family has over you?

4. Why is it so difficult for you to break away from your family? You need to make it your goal to find a path that will take you away from your family and to a place where you will be happy and safe. You may not be able to do this quickly; you may need schooling and/or job training so that money will no longer be an issue. You may need therapy to help you break emotional ties. Many of the folks here have done this successfully. You are not the only one here that has had to deal with their controlling families.

Give us a better idea of where the problem is, there's a possibility we can help. A problem that may seem to be unsolvable to the person that has it, will become solvable with the right advice. You have come to the right place where the folks here really want to help you. We want you to be successful, please give us the opportunity to help you attain a new life for yourself. You owe it to yourself to be happy; no one has a right to expect you to be unhappy.

Best Always, Love

Christine

PS: That's not me in my avatar, that's my Dog Ella, one of my three Pups.

Offline Maid Marion

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Re: why won't it end?
« Reply #4 on: December 11, 2019, 04:55:12 am »
You can't fix your family.  But, at least in the USA, moving somewhere else isn't that hard.  I moved clear across the country!  I work with someone who has a very abusive family.  He didn't move away like I did, but has very little contact because they are so toxic.

Offline Devlyn

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Re: why won't it end?
« Reply #5 on: December 11, 2019, 05:03:59 am »
Lostfox, welcome to Susan's Place!

Sometimes family is just two people who had sex, and we are the result. It's perfectly OK for it to end there.

It's so easy to find a circle of supportive people who are willing to be your "family" when the biologicals fail in this regard.

Best wishes to you.  :)

Hugs, Devlyn
Veteran, US Army

Offline BrightWindow

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Re: why won't it end?
« Reply #6 on: December 11, 2019, 09:41:06 am »
I doubt anyone will do anything more than view this so I am probably just typing my own thoughts since there is no one that I can open up too. I have been living as a female for 5 years this was supposed to make me happy my dream turned into a nightmare....why don't I have anyone why am I so isolated even though I have tried all i can to live a good life for some reason I always fail.....we all experience the ugly our families will display upon us going forward the ones that get kicked out the loop are the lucky ones your heartbroken and then its done. for me its not the case my family won't let me leave they keep me sucked in and torment me, terrorize me, taunt me, and sabotage me. what they have done has twisted me up I hurt so bad inside I have lost all hope all motivation. anytime my decision to progress is made soon after my failure arrives...once upon a time i escaped my family but somehow got sucked back in to all abuse that has ruined my mind, my heart and my life. Me experiencing a higher quality of life is now impossible there is no fixing the damage done....i wish it would end....

Dear lostfox,

I understand transitioning can be very difficult for some when their families are not fully accepting of the transition, but there are many others who have managed to persevere, and you can transition well whilst maintaining a positive family life.

I agree with Christine that we would appreciate you clarifying your difficulties so we can help you better. Susan's place is absolutely the right place to come if you are feeling isolated, you will find it a safe and pleasant place to share your experiences.

BW BW
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Offline Lady Sarah

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Re: why won't it end?
« Reply #7 on: December 11, 2019, 11:35:45 pm »
Dear Lostfox. Would I be correct in assuming you are over 18 years of age? If so, it sounds lik you would be much happier on your own, in another town, where your family cannot control your life or make you miserable. I should know. I went through a similar form of hell with my adoptive parents in the 1980s. They made sure I could not get a job, so I could not get a car, so I could not get my life going. I had to leave on my own with nothing but a backpack and the clothes on my back and walk to the next town to escape their control.

You gotta do what ya gotta do.
started HRT: July 13, 1991
orchi: December 23, 1994
trach shave: November, 1998
married: August 16, 2015
Back surgery: October 20, 2016


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Tags: transgender mtf