Author Topic: First Times  (Read 3134 times)

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Offline Maddie

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Re: First Times
« Reply #20 on: March 04, 2020, 11:00:50 pm »
Toni.  Congrats for taking the step of starting the HTT
Overall I like the feeling it is giving me, and I am noticing subtle changes.
Hope it goes well telling your family.

Offline ToniToday

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Re: First Times
« Reply #21 on: March 04, 2020, 11:32:31 pm »
Hello, Aoi!

That's excellent fortune.  I wish you continued successes!

-Toni


I remember the immortal words of Socrates who said, "I drank what?"
- Chris Knight, Real Genius (1985)

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: First Times
« Reply #22 on: March 07, 2020, 01:36:13 pm »
Nice to meet you!

I'm Aoi, in my first year of transitioning. I haven't kept dates of my "Firsts", but I can say my first time being public was last week. I found a job were I'm not judged, so very happy about that  :D. I lucked out, where I'm at the doctors don't need a note from a therapist to start HRT, so I hope to be starting soon.

Aoi,

That all sounds wonderful.   :)

Chrissy
Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline ToniToday

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Re: First Times
« Reply #23 on: March 07, 2020, 11:01:15 pm »
Another first down: First Facial Laser Treatment Session - Friday, March 6, 2020....


I remember the immortal words of Socrates who said, "I drank what?"
- Chris Knight, Real Genius (1985)

Offline ToniToday

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Re: First Times
« Reply #24 on: April 06, 2020, 04:13:55 pm »
Ok...  since the shelter in place I've had several firsts!

I've come out to my wife and kids...  contacted my district's HR... and bought my first necklace !



I'm finally being myself and I feel pretty good...  Even stuck inside I am more a part of the world than I have been in 30 years....  I'm not going to be content just to pass through anymore.  ;)


I remember the immortal words of Socrates who said, "I drank what?"
- Chris Knight, Real Genius (1985)

Online AllieSF

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Re: First Times
« Reply #25 on: April 06, 2020, 04:18:07 pm »
Congratulations Toni!  I am so happy for you.  From the smile on your face it looks like it is going better than expected.  You also look as happy as your post too.

Allie
HRT - February 2017
Full Time - July 2018
Orchi - January 2018
BA - September 25, 2019
FFS - January 10, 2020
GRS - TBDDD (To Be Determined, Decision and Date)

Offline ToniToday

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Re: First Times
« Reply #26 on: April 06, 2020, 05:54:08 pm »
Thank you so much, Allie!  I'm not sure if it's HRT or finally being open, but I like being me...  it's such a different feeling.

Toni


I remember the immortal words of Socrates who said, "I drank what?"
- Chris Knight, Real Genius (1985)

Online AllieSF

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Re: First Times
« Reply #27 on: April 06, 2020, 06:26:24 pm »
Toni,

It is probably both.  When I came out was really the moment for me.  later it was when I finally went full time.  At that moment I felt totally free and unencumbered about the hiding and not being able to be myself.  Take your steps at your speed and enjoy each one.  Be ready for a few setbacks along the way.

Allie
HRT - February 2017
Full Time - July 2018
Orchi - January 2018
BA - September 25, 2019
FFS - January 10, 2020
GRS - TBDDD (To Be Determined, Decision and Date)

Offline madeleine

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Re: First Times
« Reply #28 on: April 06, 2020, 09:21:27 pm »
Hi Toni, did you do the art in your avatar?

Offline ToniToday

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Re: First Times
« Reply #29 on: April 07, 2020, 06:31:24 am »
Hi,

No, I didn't.   I'm not that skilled. :P


I remember the immortal words of Socrates who said, "I drank what?"
- Chris Knight, Real Genius (1985)

Offline Maddie

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Re: First Times
« Reply #30 on: April 07, 2020, 07:20:51 am »
Happy for you Toni!

Offline madeleine

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Re: First Times
« Reply #31 on: April 07, 2020, 12:04:32 pm »
Ok...  since the shelter in place I've had several firsts!

I've come out to my wife and kids...  contacted my district's HR... and bought my first necklace !



I'm finally being myself and I feel pretty good...  Even stuck inside I am more a part of the world than I have been in 30 years....  I'm not going to be content just to pass through anymore.  ;)

Congrats on the firsts and and the coming out!  It sounds like you are not wasting time while sheltering in place.

Btw, I thought that the art in your avatar might be you, that is why I asked.

Offline ToniToday

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Re: First Times
« Reply #32 on: April 09, 2020, 10:47:29 pm »
Well, I wasn't expecting this.  A friend of mine's mother saw a photo of me modeling a necklace and thought I was a cis woman!  I don't see it, but many family and friends are commenting on a new softness in my face.

I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth!   :P

Anyway, it was a nice confidence boost....

Hope everyone is safe and finding some silver linings during shelter-in-place.

-Toni

P.S. I'm thinking of making Tessa my first name and Antonia my second...  any thoughts?


I remember the immortal words of Socrates who said, "I drank what?"
- Chris Knight, Real Genius (1985)

Offline Idontknowbutiwould

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Re: First Times
« Reply #33 on: April 09, 2020, 11:06:36 pm »
The first time I introduced myself to the entire world as a woman, I was 15 years old. I dyed my hair blonde (it was still almost short), I bought a push up, I bought clothes with my friends and I started going out with a shirt, skirt and heels. I spent a weekend with a 23-year-old boy (my best friend's ex-boyfriend), the breakup was because his parents didn't accept me. So I went to a crossdresser studio, became friends with the owner. She gave me a very realistic long red hair wig with bangs, she taught me how to put on makeup, she guided me in clothing, the importance of nails. I met another 20 year old boy, he was my boyfriend for 9 months (his parents thought I was a woman). At 16 I had surgery on my chest, I let my hair grow and I stopped wearing wigs or extensions and the rest is history
18 years old.

2008: Put a wig on primary school
2014: Coming out to my family
2016: Puberty blockers
2017: Real life experience
2018: Breast augmentation with paternal consent
2019: Identity document changed
2020: Getting my SRS and FFS? I hope

Offline ToniToday

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Re: First Times
« Reply #34 on: April 14, 2020, 02:16:43 pm »
I just had my first passing moment !  An employee of Target called me Ms.  It's a small thing, but I've been in serious doubt mode about ever passing on any instance.  So, I'm over the moon at present !

-Toni


I remember the immortal words of Socrates who said, "I drank what?"
- Chris Knight, Real Genius (1985)

Offline Pammie

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Re: First Times
« Reply #35 on: April 14, 2020, 03:07:26 pm »
I just had my first passing moment !  An employee of Target called me Ms.  It's a small thing, but I've been in serious doubt mode about ever passing on any instance.  So, I'm over the moon at present !

-Toni
Yay! It’s such a wonderful experience isn’t it! Enjoy the first of very many wonderful moments! Xx


I opened the door and the light shone in

Offline ToniToday

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Re: First Times
« Reply #36 on: April 16, 2020, 09:40:23 pm »
And now I'm back to earth...  My wife is refusing to look at me.  We're separated but living in the same house sharing parenting duties.  When I talk with her now (she seems to go back and forth), she turns her head away from me.  I knew I should expect it, but it hurts nonetheless...


I remember the immortal words of Socrates who said, "I drank what?"
- Chris Knight, Real Genius (1985)

Online JanePlain

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Re: First Times
« Reply #37 on: April 16, 2020, 10:39:41 pm »
Ok...  since the shelter in place I've had several firsts!

I've come out to my wife and kids...  contacted my district's HR... and bought my first necklace !



I'm finally being myself and I feel pretty good...  Even stuck inside I am more a part of the world than I have been in 30 years....  I'm not going to be content just to pass through anymore.  ;)

Cute photo!  Looks like your transistion is going great.  Glad (And not surprised) HRT made improvments.  Its my belief that we have female "wired" brains and when we go on HRT its takes away the "abnormal" feeling that something is just not right.  So much is said about physical changes and thats all great and all but depression for example seems to hit so many people pre HRT and its seems so often to lesson the problem post HRT.  Anyway enjoy the ride.  Some of it seems to become the new normal that we can't enjoy it as much as we proabably should.  Like seeing colors brighter.  Sense of smell improving and other odd stuff that maybe is only me.  Anyway I'm SO glad you made it this far.  Sorry about your wife - thats always one thing I wish I had some sort of magic pill that would help others with.  If she does start talking to you just remind her that you are still YOU.  That she married that person and this doesn't change you into someone else.  And if she doesn't know much about it tell her it IS medical.  Its not a mental illness.  Not dealing with it can certanly drive you crazy but the treatment your on is to correct a medical condition.  Try telling her the releif this is giving you.  Maybe once she understands that she will loose some of the fear / anger etc that she is going through?  - hugs --- Jane.

Offline ToniToday

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Re: First Times
« Reply #38 on: April 17, 2020, 11:46:22 pm »
Thank you, Jane!

I've been worried that I've moved too fast.  I don't ever want to go back, ever.  This feels too right and comfortable to be wrong.  But, given the circumstances, I wonder if I should slow down or stop until things get more stable. 

My wife finds herself unable to eat at the same table...  We have to take turns sitting with the kids.  One of my best friends can't see me as a woman, even though she knew before I did.  And, I just had an argument with her in which she called me self-indulgent.  That hurt, probably because she might be right.  So, my week is ending a bit down.

I haven't had many physical changes so far.  The few changes center on smell.  My odors have changed and I smell things better, more deeply and from a greater distance.  A few friends say my face has changed and my lips appear redder.  I think that is more a factor of their understanding than reality.   :)

-Toni

PS I really love your photo





I remember the immortal words of Socrates who said, "I drank what?"
- Chris Knight, Real Genius (1985)

Offline madeleine

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Re: First Times
« Reply #39 on: April 18, 2020, 01:58:47 pm »
Toni, are you worried you are moving too fast because of how you feel about yourself?  Or because of other people's feelings?

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