Author Topic: One New Life to Live  (Read 7728 times)

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Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #160 on: January 31, 2021, 09:27:11 am »
I hope this turns out well for you Laura.

Chrissy
Thank you @ChrissyRyan. It used to be that my setbacks were due to fear. That this, temporary one, was due to impatience makes it more easily overcome.

Onward.

Laura
One New Life to Live (My personal blog)

Laura's HRT Journal     |     Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Offline EllenW

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #161 on: February 01, 2021, 02:15:05 pm »

I let myself get frustrated because I had a mental picture of everything I'd accomplish once the name change order was signed. That began to fall apart when I found the court's offices closed and got worse with the rejection from my local SSA. I'm good now though. I'll drop off the app with my driver's license on Monday, after I've gotten a statement notarized for my birth certificate change. the timeline gets a bit longer, but then nothing about transition is fast. LOL.

Stay warm.

Laura

Laura,

You are correct nothing about transitioning moves fast. I do feel your frustration

I was lucky that Covid was not around when I changed by name in early 2019. I went straight from the Orange County courthouse to the SSA office to request my new card. While waiting for the card, I went to the DMV and requested my new DL. Since I was not asking for the federal approved ID I was able to get my new DL immediately with one of my certified copies of the courts order.

Even now two years later I still get messages on my home phone that ask if deadname is available.

Ellen
Known all my life I was different
Started to live part time as my true self in 2010
HRT January 2018
Full time at work February 2018
Legal name and gender change January 2019
GCS - January 2021

Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #162 on: February 01, 2021, 05:23:54 pm »
Laura,

You are correct nothing about transitioning moves fast. I do feel your frustration

I was lucky that Covid was not around when I changed by name in early 2019. I went straight from the Orange County courthouse to the SSA office to request my new card. While waiting for the card, I went to the DMV and requested my new DL. Since I was not asking for the federal approved ID I was able to get my new DL immediately with one of my certified copies of the courts order.

Even now two years later I still get messages on my home phone that ask if deadname is available.

Ellen
Thanks @EllenW. My mental image of the process was identical to your experience, but COVID threw a monkey wrench into the process. It's just more time now, but all will be good......eventually. LOL.

Laura
One New Life to Live (My personal blog)

Laura's HRT Journal     |     Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #163 on: February 04, 2021, 03:28:50 pm »
Today was gorgeous, with mild temperatures and deep blue skies. So, after getting my eyebrows done for the first time, what's a girl do?

Go flying, of course.


One New Life to Live (My personal blog)

Laura's HRT Journal     |     Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Online Northern Star Girl

  • Previously Alaskan Danielle
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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #164 on: February 04, 2021, 03:54:00 pm »
@Laura1951
Dear Laura:
Thank you for sharing... you look absolutely beautiful... 
... getting your brows done for sure is an important step in female grooming.
HUGS,
Danielle


Today was gorgeous, with mild temperatures and deep blue skies. So, after getting my eyebrows done for the first time, what's a girl do?

Go flying, of course.


***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 41

Offline davina61

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #165 on: February 05, 2021, 03:25:58 am »
Looking great girl !!
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever.
I get pushed out of shape and its hard to steer when I get rubber in all 4 gears (Beach Boys ,little deuce coupe)

Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #166 on: February 06, 2021, 01:42:27 pm »
February 6, 2021

Thank you @Danielle and @Davina61 for your thoughts.

Update

Name Change
COVID thew a monkey wrench into the process for changing my name, but i'm still moving forward. On Monday, i dropped off a new application and my real driver's license to the local SSA. i've not heard back yet, but i'm hoping for my license to bounce back to me next week. The five certified copies of my name/gender court order arrived yesterday, so Friday i mailed the State to update my birth certificate as well as to order five certified copies of the new certificate. i'll need to wait for SSA to let me know all is ok before going to the DMV, my banks, etc.

Electrolysis
I began genital electrolysis last week,  and i'm pleased that sessions are two hours long with just a $5 co-pay. i've also received permission for her (the technician) to do facial electrolysis as well, so this week's session focused on my upper lip. She uses the galvanic method which is slower and while i do experience some pain at times, i'm thrilled to finally get the process going. Currently (no pun intended), i'm planning to do two facial sessions for every genital one. I can live with genital taking longer, but with 200 hours needed to complete facial work, i need to get going. i'm still planning to supplement this work with Precision in Chicago once i've had the vaccine.

Voice
I continue to have monthly online appointments with Kaiser's voice therapist. She's been quite helpful and i feel i'm making progress although i need to practice everyday. Last month, she recommended the app, Voice Tools, which is similar to Voice Analyst except it provides you real-time data about your frequency. This lets me stop and repeat a phrase if i notice my voice dropping too low so i can get it right. The only problem is that this is leading to a bit of voice dysphoria. My voice is noticeably higher now and i'm not used to it. Until recently, i hadn't even listened to my recorded voice because i was afraid of how it sounded.  My therapist pointed this dysphoria out and told me my voice is perfectly fine. I just need to keep practicing and listening to my new voice.

Life
It's hard to believe i've been full-time for more than two months now and that on the 18th, it will have been six months since my FFS. i'll provide an FFS update then.

I love flying and playing tennis as laura, practicing my voice when talking to air traffic controllers, as well as meeting new people each weekend in our Saturday group. Progress is one step at a time, and i'm pleased and thankful i'm at this point in my transition.

Onward.

Laura
One New Life to Live (My personal blog)

Laura's HRT Journal     |     Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Online ChrissyRyan

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #167 on: February 06, 2021, 01:51:44 pm »
Laura,


Thank you for sharing out.  You are doing great, and you are looking great!

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #168 on: February 11, 2021, 11:12:15 pm »
Good day today.

Waiting inline 90 minutes at the DVM, but my new license is now on the way. Afterwards I went to Costco to get a new card with my new name and when I got home, I called my credit card company to change the name on my account and card.

Today's only hangup was that my local credit union wouldn't update my name today, despite all the documentation I brought. They're insisting that I bring my new license and SS card, so when they both arrive in a few weeks, I'll make the trek again. Still, it was nice to get dressed up for my picture.

Onward.

Laura
One New Life to Live (My personal blog)

Laura's HRT Journal     |     Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Offline JudiBlueEyes

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #169 on: February 12, 2021, 10:05:34 am »
Well that was productive!  You look great.
Wind blew in, cloud was dispersed
Rainbows appearing, the pressures were burst
Breezes a-singing, now feeling good
The moment had passed like I knew that it should

Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #170 on: February 28, 2021, 08:22:37 am »
February 28, 2021

Three Months FT
Today is the three month anniversary of going full time. It took me years to even be brave enough to tell one friend, and another 18 months afterwards to finally let the fear go, so i feel a bit proud I'm at this point. Many never make it here and I grieve for their pain.

HRT
Next week will be the 17 month mark since re-starting HRT and nothing has really changed in the past year. Yes, i'm losing muscle mass and my emotions are nicely softening.  Boobs are still an "A" cup, so sometime this summer/fall, i'll schedule a BA with Kaiser. Otherwise, i don't expect to update my HRT blog until the 18 month mark or beyond. i've recently posted a six month FFS post-op post to that thread.

Since going FT, my best friend says that i'm a different person; still funny, but more friendly and thoughtful. i'd have to agree. Those things were there before, but they're nicely enhanced now and the sharp edges of my personality have been softened. Once i learned my secret to going full-time, which is to not care what people think of my transition, i gained confidence and now carry myself happily when i'm outside. Yes, i'm certain i'm being "clocked", but living an authentic life is more important.

Every one who knew <deadname> has been gracious and accepting and while some accidentally <deadname> me while playing tennis, they always acknowledge their error. I do appreciate their efforts since some have known <deadname> for many years. I know it's an adjustment for them.

Not that i can say i've been embraced by the other women tennis players, but i have patience for that. (That is, women players haven't invited me to play in their foursomes, ut i know patience is required.) COVID has caused so many problems, tennis wise, and the tennis socials that would bring me around more people, have been canceled for the past year and beyond. I'm still hoping that when "ladies interclub" opens their try-outs in May, i'll be able to partner with another woman for the team.

Electrolysis
What a blessing that Kaiser covers electrolysis. While i met my current technician to begin GCS electrolysis, i quickly obtained permission to use her for facial work as well. While GCS is something i'd like, facial electrolysis is more important right now. I'll do my best to fit in some time for genital work, but the face takes priority.

My electrologist is a hoot. She's also transgender, so she totally gets what we MTFs are going through. I look forward to each Wednesday's two-hour session and now that the upper lip work is nearly done (thank God), we're making good progress. 

Name Change
Nothing happens quickly during transition, and the same can be said of changing your name. I'd done all the research and completed all the forms two years ago (i'm a bit of a planner).  It's hard to determine which event was happier: the day i received my name change order or the day my new driver's license arrived in the mail. There's something quite validating to having a photo ID with your new identity.

The majority of my major account name changes are either completed or in the process of being changed from my credit union and online bank, to my financial investments and birth certificate. <deadname> is slowly disappearing from my life. Strangely, the most difficult name change has been for my pilot's license, where the FAA requires me to appear in person at a local FAA office to present my new documents. Because of COVID, they currently require an appointment before arriving,  but after some nagging they finally contacted me and arranged for a Zoom meeting to complete the change. Oh, there were additional forms to fill out, scan, and send back, but i'm glad my license is updated now.

Now, I've never had to present my pilot's license since earning it more than 50 years ago, but all of us must carry it with us when we fly. Soon Laura's license will arrive in the mail.

My transition is far from over, for this is a thousand mile journey. However, since re-starting HRT in 2019, i feel like i've made steady progress towards the destination. 

Onward.

Laura
One New Life to Live (My personal blog)

Laura's HRT Journal     |     Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Offline sarahc

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #171 on: February 28, 2021, 12:49:53 pm »
Such a wonderful update! It seems like pretty much all great news from my perspective. And in particular I like the below statement...

HRT
Since going FT, my best friend says that i'm a different person; still funny, but more friendly and thoughtful. i'd have to agree. Those things were there before, but they're nicely enhanced now and the sharp edges of my personality have been softened. Once i learned my secret to going full-time, which is to not care what people think of my transition, i gained confidence and now carry myself happily when i'm outside. Yes, i'm certain i'm being "clocked", but living an authentic life is more important.


Totally, totally, totally relate to this sentiment. For me, having the "hard edge" as a guy always felt so fake. That wasn't me...I always wanted to generous and friendly. But as a guy, you sometimes have to that sharp edge to boost yourself in the pecking order.

But now living as a woman, I don't have to do that. And people have noticed that I'm so much warmer and authentic. A few people have specifically said that they really like new me. That is so validating. I hope you're getting similar feedback, because knowing that people are liking the new you is how we embrace transition and gain confidence about the path forward.

Sarah
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48 years young.
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.phpVF/topic,244009.0.html)
VFS: September 2019; three-month report here
Full-time: April 2020
FFS: August 2020
SRS: January 2021

Tags: coming out