Author Topic: MTF in need of help 2  (Read 2686 times)

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Offline Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #40 on: April 28, 2020, 07:19:34 pm »
I filled out the pre-work for the two video appointments I will have May 5th. I downloaded the iPhone app and I am ready. Dr. Rachel Bluebond-Langner at 1230 hrs and Dr. Lee Chen Zhao at 1300 hrs.
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My therapist and I have phone consultations. She keeps remarking how I am taking the lockdown and social distancing so well.

Today I was tested for the covid antibodies. I will know the results in 2 weeks if the test gets FDA approved. There will be 5,000 in the one year study. All will be employees. I was chosen because of my exposure  in the covid wards.

So in two weeks I find out if I have the covid antibodies and If I do then where to donate plasma.
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I am at 173 pounds :)

Rachel
MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.

Online Maddie

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #41 on: April 30, 2020, 08:14:35 am »
Congratulations on 173 Rachel!!  Isn't that a goal mark for you?
My scale also reads that number today.  We should find a seesaw ;)
If you know what life is worth you will look for yours on Earth

Offline Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #42 on: April 30, 2020, 06:36:37 pm »

@Maddie, congratulations on the 173. Seesaw would be very cool. Goals are like the wind :)
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So May 22 I go to Mazzoni virtually and have an appointment with my doctor. I will request T&E testing. In preparation I went back to SubQ for E.

Dr. Langner's office called and I also have a FTF Sept 15. I guess depending on how the May 5th telehealth conferences go that day.

Rachel


MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.

Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #43 on: April 30, 2020, 06:41:45 pm »
@Maddie, congratulations on the 173. Seesaw would be very cool. Goals are like the wind :)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

So May 22 I go to Mazzoni virtually and have an appointment with my doctor. I will request T&E testing. In preparation I went back to SubQ for E.

Dr. Langner's office called and I also have a FTF Sept 15. I guess depending on how the May 5th telehealth conferences go that day.

Rachel

@Rachel
Dear Rachel:
I love reading good news reports such as you just posted.
It sounds like everything is starting to fall into place for you.

I am wishing you success at each step of the way.
Please continue to keep me and the rest of your followers updated as you feel comfortable sharing.

HUGS and more HUGS,
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
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A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
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Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #44 on: May 05, 2020, 03:57:45 pm »
@Northern Star Girl, thank you for the kind words and support.

--------------------------
I had the video health iPhone call today with Dr.Rachel Bluebond-Langner  and Dr. Lee Chen Zhao They were 1 hour late for the call. Instead of two different calls they were both on the same call. That helped a lot. There was another doctor that came on the call first and reviewed information.

My reason for the call was (responses in italic):
1) My depth is 2 dots on # 4 orange dilator which is 10 cm. I would like 15 to 18 cm.

15 cm may be able to be provided with the procedure. You need to understand it will be like the original GCS with one week in the hospital and restarting a dilation schedule all over again. You would need to do pelvic floor rehab before being considered for the procedure to see if you can gain 5 cm in depth. We will examine you at your September appointment in person. You should dilate twice a day to try to increase depth.

2) The fat that was injected in the labia reabsorbed and I wanted to see what could be done to have more defined labia.

That is common and unfortunately it is something that occurs. Labia are difficult to create after the fact.

3) My vaginal opening is a bit horizontal and I would like it oval to vertical.   
We will need to review your vaginal opening when we will examine you at your September appointment in person. We need to see the area to determine what can be done.
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So I was thinking. Maybe I will get help with pelvic floor exercises and dilate twice a day. They also advised to get a vibrating dildo and use it every day. So a vibrating dildo I will get, large and long. I have shorter and thinner.

I will concentrate on voice and hair. I will do pelvic floor work and keep the September appointment I will see what they think. Then India and SMAS and deep plane lift.
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The hospital that I work at is projected to loose $250,000,000 through June 30. We are reducing costs greatly to reduce the expenses. June 30 we will see how the restart of services, which started yesterday, progresses. Then staffing reductions will begin if the losses are to great to remain viable. There are several hospitals in bad financial condition in the city. I suspect some more will be closing.
MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.

Offline Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #45 on: May 08, 2020, 09:15:32 pm »
My sister called last night to notify me my nephew died. He had a drug issue for 6 years, over dosed many times and went to lots of rehabs and was living in a group home. There was a lot of issues with heartache but I remember him before the addiction. Lots of great memories then.

Heroine is a horrible addiction, those that have family that are addicted know what others do not. I cannot help but think he is better off. Because of Covid-19 you can not have funerals with people there. They will spread his ashes later when people can assemble.

I thought of some of the trans friends I had when in community; the ones that died and those that were fighting addiction.

So today I did some thinking and remembering of my nephew and some peeps from community. I thought of the accident on I95 earlier in the week and I thought about how fortunate I am. I thought of all the people that lost their jobs and how mental health issues are skyrocketing.

I tried to call my sister today but she was not answering. I texted my brother in law a message. I will get a card, I do not know what to do in this situation. They went to their cabin.

I will not even go into what my ex messaged me when I texted her. When she contacts me there is always a really negative message response. I think I am lucky in that too.

Rachel
MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.

Online Maddie

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #46 on: May 09, 2020, 09:11:45 am »
Sorry about your nephew Rachel  :(

Wondering about what you think Dr Langner procedure will be to address the issues you menntioned. 

I read your goals, and that Dr McGinn removed a painful section, but  I'm fuzzy on what revisions are.
Is this peritoneal related?
If you know what life is worth you will look for yours on Earth

Offline Julie H

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #47 on: May 09, 2020, 09:38:28 am »
Hugs sorry to hear about your nephew
Julie

Offline Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #48 on: May 11, 2020, 06:51:35 pm »
@Julie H; @Maddie, thank you.

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Maddie, Dr. McGinn did my GCS. There was were two additional operations in an OR. They are called revisions because they are changing something about the original operation.

Dr. Langer really needs to see me in an exam to see what she thinks she can do to improve my existing outcome. I was thinking about three things:

1) Increasing vaginal canal depth 2 inches. 2) Improving the labia appearance and 3) Make the vaginal canal opening vertical.

She wanted me to think about the pain and suffering for 2 inches. She was not encouraging about fat injections in the labia and mentioned the potential of the opening may not be able to be changed. Not encouraging, yet not based on an vaginal exam.

PPV as a revision is like having GCS for the first time. A lot to consider.
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Living alone has its benefits but it is lonely. I was thinking about starting to reply to a few POF requests to meet. I do not know if a guy would want to meet because of where I work and exposure co covid-19. I have not receive my antibody test results yet. I receive an e-mail of another blood draw in 2 weeks. It is a 1 year study.

Rachel
MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.

Offline Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #49 on: May 12, 2020, 05:20:24 pm »
I sent a message to Jody at Dr. Thomas's office. They just now are starting up slowly. There require a quarantine but she said by the time I am scheduled it may not be in place.
MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.

Offline Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #50 on: May 16, 2020, 08:15:59 pm »
Electrolysis
I am supposed to have a 4 hour session May 22 at Papillion and I will need to see if it is cancelled. I have a electrolysis appointment June 9th with person #2. Person 3 is in Philly and it is still closed.

Dilation
I have been pushing harder and doing some dynamic movement. It goal is to make my vaginal canal deeper and avoid an operation. If I gain depth to 6 inches I will cancel the September visit to Dr. Langner.

Hormones
I have my telehealth visit with Mazzoni Monday. I have been back doing subQ and I feel so much better. I am injecting weekly and I will review it with my NPc. I definitely feel much more alive. Nipples are sore, skin is softer and I am horney :)

Procedures
PPV, I am hoping to increase my vaginal depth through more aggressive dilation. If I can get the canal to stretch to 6 inches with pressure then I will not have a PVV operation. However, I will have the vagina reviewed for cosmetic reasons such as labia and canal opening.

Voice is my #1 priority.
Face lift is my #2 priority. I will review some loose tummy skin at that time with the doctor.
Hair, my #3 priority. Add a little hair at the area of my part. 

Beach
It is getting close to summer and beaches are starting to open. I think I will buy two beach tags (one for me and one for my daughter). I will ask if my ex wants one but I know the answer.

Rachel
MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.

Online Maddie

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #51 on: May 17, 2020, 10:49:15 am »
Good luck encouragement to you Rachel with your efforts,  in that they may help you avoid another surgical procedure.

Do you and daughter ever beach together?

If you know what life is worth you will look for yours on Earth

Offline Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #52 on: May 17, 2020, 06:59:01 pm »
@Maddie, last summer, for the first time since coming out, in the fall we sat on the beach together. She had a difficult time at certain points of the day.

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I spoke to my therapist this afternoon. I have some things to work out.

I have been wanting to contact guys on POF and just talk. If things sound good then meet. It has been an objective but I have not been able to accomplish this simple step one, just talk. So it is my goal.

I do not now if I will return to the hall if it reopens in late summer, if it reopens. I feel as though I have been there and done that and worked out some body and sex issues.

My car is having a new cam/lifters/ rods. I hope to have a nice increase in HP. The engine had 127,000 miles on it and it needed to be rebuilt. So, I want to meet up for Saturday and Sunday car meet ups. I will do this when the car is done. I hope this week.

I hope the gym reopens soon. But Philadelphia is in the red zone so I do not know when that will happen, maybe August. I have no idea how they will make it through this.

We ramp up patient care Monday. We have had to make some drastic changes and it is causing some stress. It will be a very lean time going forward. There are a lot of unknowns. I just hope there is not another wave when school reopens in the fall.

I was walking in the State Park with my daughter today. It is clear that she and my ex do not want anyone to know I transitioned, still. I think it will not change, I give up hope on that and accept. I will move on.



My sister and brother in law took their son's ashes up to the mountain home. They placed his urn into the flower garden. He was 27 when he became addicted to heroine. He was in a lot of recovery programs and over dosed 6 or 7 times. Then he was in a location where no-one would be there to help him and he died.  He hated being an addict and struggled every day for 8 years. He is at peace. I can not help but feel relief for him. Same feeling I felt for my brother and Mother and Father when they died.

I went over my procedure plan and goals. I really do not want to get another vaginal operation and I think the gain is low in comparison to the pain and potential of an issue. However, maybe some labial work would be beneficial and still a potential procedure. Other than that I think I am done down there, especially if I can stretch the vaginal canal to 6 inches.
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So, I do not know if I should continue with the thread. Maybe I should end the thread and on Susan's or maybe just take a break for a wile. I have a feeling I may not be helping others and rambling here every few days produces nothing positive. IDK, I am just questioning why and what benefits. I copied both threads to my hard drive and need to answer why I am posting here and what benefit it provides.
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Gender/Sexuality
I see my gender as female and not a transwoman. I see my sexuality as pan ( with a dash of fluidity) leaning heterosexual. I think I can say this with some certainty for now. I have seen some alpha females and I really like that. Huuuum, maybe that would be an experience to have.

I hope everyone has a wonderful week,
Rachel




MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.

Offline Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #53 on: May 18, 2020, 07:08:01 pm »
So I have been making some change. Why it is do difficult for me, I do not know.

Papillion called about renewal of the HRT program for another year. I said I am going back to Mazzoni for HRT. That was tough but I have my reasons. HRT at Papillion costs about $1700 per year and at Mazzoni I can go through my prescription plan. So it is a large savings. I feel confident now to advocate for myself at Mazzoni.

I had a telehealth call today with my practitioner from Mazzoni. I told her I was back doing subQ and not e pills. For some reason I am prescribed both. She had me reduce my dosage 50%. I have injected 3 times at my pre GCS dose and I can really feel the difference. My nipples are sore and I have sexual energy :) . My skin feels softer too.

I did cream for a year, reverted back to pills for 2 months and now back to subQ. SubQ is where it is at for me. I will need to reduce the dose but right now I am feeling awesome :) like a second puberty again again again.

I had a really good session with my practitioner. I went over my telehealth meeting with Dr. Langner. I am going to sleep on it a few days. Dr. Langner recommended I try to increase depth by seeing a pelvic floor practitioner.  My practitioner gave me a name of a pevlic floor practitioner. I think I am making progress and Dr. Langner may have the answer about vaginal canal depth and proper exercises. We also discussed HRT and SubQ and dosages. Anyhow, it we a very good and productive visit. I have to admit it is a bit embarrassing to discuss such personal details. My practitioner went over the basics of pelvic floor exercises.

My electrolysis session Friday at Papillion was cancelled. I said to let me know when they are doing face electrolysis again. I have an electrolysis appointment in 10 days with one of my other two people I did electrolysis with.
----------------------
At work we are ramping up patient visits and OR procedures. I676 and I95 were a bit packed today. It is nice to see that. I hope normalcy can return. I know it is a respite as rate will rise but there is hope we can manage the rise and open at some point fully.
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This is funny, so I get a text today from my daughter. She asked if I would like to come over (to my ex's) Saturday and power wash the patio and her car and then have lunch. I of coarse said yes. I think I will walk the park early and then stop by their place. It is close to the state park.
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So we were paid out retirements last year. I put it into a self directed IRA. I am thinking about in the winter using some of the money to finance a condo at the shore. It would be a rental and owned by the IRA. My family and I guess me could use it when not rented. It is a thought and I may do it. 

Rachel


MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.

Offline Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #54 on: May 19, 2020, 05:36:25 pm »
So today I was having a meeting with a fellow Pride executive committee member. We were going over bathrooms and the city of Philly ordinance on single stall bathrooms not be labeled for a specific gender. I have an excel of all the enterprise bathrooms and it has a pivot table. There are three buildings with one gender neutral bathroom ( and one with 3. The one with three is 1.4 million square foot. We have hundreds of single stall bathrooms.

I can not in committee bring up the issue ( due to a member that I am not comfortable with) so I shared the bathroom list and selected gender neutral bathrooms for the pivot. Then I contacted a committee member and discussed the issue and asked if he would bring it up in committee.

We had a great conversation and he agreed to bring it up in committee. He said he thought we should fight for it and that we would be successful. Labeling would be done upon new construction or any new room label projects.

During the conversation he disclosed he is non-binary and that he has a goal of coming to work with in a skirt. We had a conversation about the numbers of staff that are non-binary and how non-binary bathrooms would be a huge relief for them. We also reviewed his needs going forward and support if needed.

So I thought "he" is a gay man but he is a non-binder they. Odd how we assume things about people, their gender and sexuality based on their appearances and name.
-------------------------------
I just receive notice of an Ebola patient in a major African city. I may get to use my level 4 PPE training after all.

Rachel
MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.

Online Maddie

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #55 on: May 19, 2020, 11:50:24 pm »
Rachel good thinking to work with someone else towards making the changes with the bathroom designations.

The last part of your post is scary.  I'm hoping you don't need to implement that training.
If you know what life is worth you will look for yours on Earth

Offline Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #56 on: May 26, 2020, 06:39:57 pm »
@Maddie, thank you for your support.
------------------
The quest
I have been actively trying to increase depth. I an 3 dots orange after dilating with purple for 5 minutes. I then stretch with orange to 5 dots over 25 minutes. After 30 minutes of dilating and doing pelvic movements with the dilator I am 5.5 inches deep inside the canal of which 2 inches are stretch. I had this depth without stretching before my graft section failed and was removed. This without stretching. I wonder over time if I can get 6 inches without stretch or 8 inches with stretch?

So if PPV yields 15 cm of canal depth and I have now 10 CM before dilating and 14 cm post dilating with stretch then is PVV of a great value? If I can increase the vaginal depth before dilating to 15 CM then I have answered my quest. Then external cosmetic review is all that would be desired. However, it would not be a need. Things to ponder till November.
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Still have not received the covid19 antibody results. They will release the results after the FDA recognizes the test as valid. I had my second blood draw today of the 1 year study.

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Hormones
So I am back to sub Q and T topical. The topical is the same a trans man takes. They take 1 packet a day and what Dr. McGinn prescribed was 1/8th a packet. I take 1/16th of a packet a day normally. There is a huge difference in how I feel with this T than the other T. Just as subQ has a much different feel. I have a lot of energy and I have a high libido comparatively speaking. I feel much better.
-------------------------

One of the staff that retired about 7 months ago died last month from covid. We found out today. Just when you think it is safe to get out another person you know is gone.

Rachel


MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.

Online Maddie

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #57 on: May 27, 2020, 08:13:53 am »
Sorry for the loss of your former staff member :(


Yay Rachel!!
Your efforts produce  quest results.  To continued success and cm.
Plus, you deserve a cheer. 
Hoooooooooray!!

Rare
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If you know what life is worth you will look for yours on Earth

Offline Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #58 on: May 29, 2020, 10:25:05 pm »
@Maddie, thank you very much. That was very sweet.

----------------------------

Just some thoughts
Thanksgiving was really bad this year. I put my dog to sleep a week before and it was really lonely.
Christmas was lonely
Memorial Day was lonely
My birthday is Sunday and I will walk the park Saturday and Sunday. I think Saturday I will do a 10 mile hike.
Labor day, Thanksgiving and Christmas unless I do something different I will be alone.

My muscle car is still having the engine modifications done. There is a car meetup Saturday and Sunday but with no car that is out.

I really want to go to the beach but it is early in the season. Maybe later in the year. June?? I am down to 171.6 pounds.

I get contacted by several guys a day from POF but I never reply. I should just discontinue my membership. I will never meet up with someone from POF. I think they are just wanting to meet me because I am trans and they want sex. When it comes time to meet family or friends I will not be introduced. I will be something to hide.

With the car and meet ups and car shows it is in public. So if a guy talks to me it is different. On the beach if a guy talks to me it is in public. So it is someone that would want to know me and we would have a common interest. So I think I will pursue those two activities.

So unless I do something different I will be alone. It is nice to hike, go to the beach and car shows with someone. So I need to get out and make some conversation and see what happens.
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Hormones
I am glad I am back to SubQ and taking some T. I feel much better.
----------------------------

Rachel



MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.

Offline EllenW

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #59 on: May 30, 2020, 01:44:27 pm »
Rachel

So sorry to hear about you dog. Making that decision to put a beloved companion to sleep is one of the hardest things to do. And it can just amplify the feeling of loneliness.

Hopefully when you get your muscle car up and running you will be able to meet others and not be so lonely.

Please hang in and it will get better

Ellen
Known all my life I was different
Started to live part time as my true self in 2010
HRT January 2018
Full time at work Febuary 2018
Legal name and gender change January 2019

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