Author Topic: MTF in need of help 2  (Read 3116 times)

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Offline Julie H

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #60 on: May 30, 2020, 06:15:37 pm »
I am just going to back you up in never allowing yourself to be just someone's fetish
Julie

Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #61 on: May 30, 2020, 07:38:11 pm »
@Rachel:
Dear Rachel:
 
Wishing YOU a very
   :icon_flower: H A P P Y  B I R T H D A Y :icon_flower:
                        :icon_birthday:     :icon_birthday:

I hope and trust that you enjoy your birthday.

***NOTE:  Be certain to check your profile for a special surprise on May 31st, 2020 :)

HUGS and best wishes to you for another "Happy" year.
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline Maddie

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #62 on: May 30, 2020, 07:45:09 pm »
Happy birthday Rachel!!
 :D
 8)
 >:-)

Online Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #63 on: June 05, 2020, 08:04:07 pm »
@EllenW, thank you for your support. I agree, being alone amplifies the loss.
@Northern Star Girl, Thank you Danielle.
@Maddie, thank you.
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What a week

We had/have demonstration, looting and people being hurt. We need some real leadership and change. I think people are really tired of the tactics used on them and more harshly administered to POC and it needs to change.

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Hormones
I have been doing subQ and T topical from my practitioner at Mazzoni. I feel great. My skin is softer and nipples hurt again. Now if my boobs start to grow it would be really interesting. Softer skin is nice but it may indicate my E was too low for the past year.

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Dilating
I have been doing dilation with pelvic floor stretching. The dilation is forceful and a bit painful. I am making good progress.

I was always under the impression your depth was your depth and that was about that. I had no expectation I could increase depth through dilation. I am thankful Dr. Rachel Langner pretty much demanding I do the exercises as a condition to seeing her in September. I think I may cancel that visit as I think by then depth will not be an issue.

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I had my first electrolysis session in 3 months Tuesday.

So, I took a 7.5 mg oxi before the electrolysis. It helped along with the topical and a cold pack. Electrolysis is getting very old. I really need to flush my stash of oxi.
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Rachel


Online Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #64 on: June 11, 2020, 05:34:51 pm »
NYC
I have been in New York City since Tuesday. First time there. It was very easy to get to via NJ Transit. I am in Times Square. General impressions is it is big, expensive and pretty empty. I took a few walks but most everything is closed. I will be heading home soon.

HRT
I am on the same HRT and have significant nipple and areola sensitivity. I have been on HRT for 7 years and this changer from cream back to subQ has created a huge change. I can feel my milk ducts under my areolas. I wish there was one single source of truth on HRT. I do know I respond very well to subQ and a bit of T.

Fat
 I have an appointment at NYU Langone in September to review my labia and vaginal opening. I no longer think I will need vaginal canal depth to be reviewed. Presently I am on dot 4 orange and when I push with force when dilating I am dot 5 at the vaginal entrance. So my goal is to a point between dot 5 and the first divot. I guess dot 6 if there was a 6th dot. I was thinking of making a 6th dot.

So I was thinking about fat harvesting on my obliques and using what is there for vulva fat injection. Dr. Lagner was not too positive about fat injections in the vulva saying it tends to reabsorb. Then then there is the vaginal opening which is a bit horizontal and I wat it more vertical. I think it will be a good thing to have a doctor looks and get her opinion. I may be off base but I will find out.

Definitely no PPV for me. No way do I want another GCS procedure since I am very close to my objectives on depth.

I wish there was a single source of truth for vaginal depth increase through pelvic floor work.


Best,
Rachel






Offline Emma1017

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #65 on: June 11, 2020, 06:27:29 pm »
Welcome to NYC Rachel.  I am sorry you are here when it's so boring.  The good news is all of the take out bars and restaurants.  You can then find a great, private place to eat and drink...no tourists.
The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Online Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #66 on: June 15, 2020, 06:17:16 pm »
@Emma1017, thank you. I took some great pics at Time Square of LGBT and BLM signs and posted them on the Pride page at work.

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My daughter, 22 years old, is down the shore with 2 girl friends. She texted me she purchased a pair of rainbow sandals for herself. When she was younger 12 or so and again when she was 15 I asked her if she was lesbian, bi or trans and she said definitely not. We had a conversation and I reassured her I was very supportive. So she never had a boyfriend I know of. Am I reading too much into this??

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I am #15 on the list with Dr. Thomas.

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Mr. POTUS, you said it is ok to deny me health care last week if the Clinician feels it is against their religious freedom.  The Supreme Court today said title VII applied to LGBT for jobs. I suspect it will be for everything next.  6 Justices say you can not discriminate. A black man not resisting arrest was choked to death by 2 police with 2 watching. You criticized the black man's reputation and the nation protests and some sections of cities burn. Your do not represent me.

Rachel

Offline Emma1017

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #67 on: June 15, 2020, 07:38:52 pm »
Rachel I am so glad that your visit was special.  Love your daughter. Who cares what she is.  I hope the list goes fast for you!  God bless the Supreme Court and come November vote Rainbow!

Hugs,

Emma
The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Online Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #68 on: June 17, 2020, 07:08:11 pm »
Update on pelvic flor rehab

So Dr. Lagner had me do pelvic floor rehab. I was shocked as I thought your depth could vary a bit but what I found was pretty amazing and in a short period of time. I was at orange 2 dots without force and 3 dots with some force. Now I am 1/2 inch above dot 5 on orange or 6 inches with force. So I had thought in order to get that depth I would need PPV. I do not need an operation for depth. It had been 45 days of rehab as of yet.

I am glad I go to work but it is very lonely there and well and at home. It is starting to take a tole.

Rachel

Offline Maddie

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #69 on: July 01, 2020, 04:16:13 pm »
Bzzzz
Hey Rachel.
Feeling lonely thought I'd buzz by.
Glad you have earned results with your efforts.
Hope you can take it for a spin sometime soon.

Online Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #70 on: July 04, 2020, 08:54:04 am »
@Maddie hello,

I hope you are doing well. I have seen you at other web locations of recent. I op you have a good holiday.
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Depth,
So I dilate with #1 5 minutes and #4 25 minutes per day. This is what Dr. McGinn had instructed. Dr. Langner said I should do pelvic floor exercises to increase depth as a condition of seeing her in September ( I had a tela-heath meeting in May). So I have increased my depth to about 1/4 in past dot 5 post dilation on #4 dilator. I am going for a permanent depth without heavy dilation of 1" past dot 5 orange (#4 Soul Source). I think it is very possible.

So, the only thing I have left is cosmetic and Dr. Langner is not recommending fat injections as she said it usually does little to nothing as the fat reabsorbs. I disagree, I had a significant difference when Dr. McGinn did fat injections; however, not as one would expect.

When Dr. McGinn injected fat It was very inflated around my labia. The fat mostly reabsorbed. However there was some fat survival and the skin is very different. My skin is loose and it covers my vaginal canal now and it looks awesome.  The exception is where the bottom of my vagina is located where it is still not covered and my skin is a bit firmer. So I think I need some cosmetic work around the bottom of the vagina.

I have some change in thoughts now that my depth issue is resolved and I fully expect to be at a depth I am happy with. I think I may cancel my appoint with Dr. Langner and ask Dr. McGinn if would do some fat injection again and work on the bottom portion of my canal. If not it is not the end of the world and I am pretty happy now with how my vagina looks. A little puffier would be great but it is pretty awesome.
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I need to check with Dr. Thomas after my serology study results are released. I have 3 tests so far in the 1 year study. It looks at antibodies over time to covid. There are 5,000 of us in the study at work. Once the IACUC committee at work approves the study then the results from the 1st 3 blood tests will be released. Then I will inform Dr. Thomas of my immunity status and see if I can get a vocal operation ASAP.

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I have a kinkier side and a poly side. I have not been going out since the end of February. There are still events but I am not going. No events are at the hall but other locations. If I knew my anti-body results and there was a know safe place then I would consider it. I am holding back on the wild side of Rachel. During this time I have been thinking. I am kinky and I am poly. Is there a potential for me to be in a relationship with several guys that are poly. Sort of a closedish relationship but with several guys.
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I went to the beach yesterday with my daughter. We went into the water, had lunch and power sailed. It was an awesome day. :) :) :) . I was thinking, I could wear a bikini. I wish I has an ass but there are woman without much of an ass on the beach. I think I will get a bikini and go to the beach by myself.
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I have not gotten my Trans Am back from the shop yet and am not a happy girl about that. Monday I will call again and ask for an update.

Happy 4th of July.

There will be demonstrations in Philly today. So I will keep out of the box (geographic rectangle in the city).

Rachel


Rachel



Online Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #71 on: July 11, 2020, 09:01:18 pm »
Piercing
I had a VHP and took it out a year or so ago. I had it redone tonight :) . I will get two more in 6 weeks. The place is Infinity on 4th street by South Street. I love that area of the city. It is uber diverse and quite queer.

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Voice
I sent Jody an e-mail to see my # on the list. :(

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Work
It is not looking like our restart is going as well as we need in order to avoid layoffs. If we do not increase customers 10% then it will result in layoffs soon. Fur-lows are starting.
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Dating
I get likes and messages on POF but I do not look at them. I do not know how to meet someone to date. I do know POF seams very distant and unemotional.
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Dilating
I am about 5.75 to6 inches post dilating. My goal is 6inches per-dilation on orange. It is going very well.

Rachel

Online Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #72 on: July 13, 2020, 04:19:55 pm »
Hair
So I had an electrolysis session with the Thursday person and she only did 30 minutes and not 60 saying there is not a lot of hair. The Tuesday person said the same thing ( I see her every 2 weeks). I stopped going to Papillion as I have to take a day off to go there.

Most likely I will schedule a visit at papillion for an overall face electrolysis session in a bit. I will have the Thursday person do bikini hair removal and the Tuesday person do face every 2 weeks.

So happy I am winning the hair electrolysis battle finally.

Next when face hair is done I will do a retractile laser face treatment.

I am not using PPL time for electrolysis now as we may need to do that in weeks blocks as a necessity in the future.

Offline Maddie

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #73 on: July 15, 2020, 01:30:30 am »
Rachel thank you for adding facial laser resufacing to my matrix.

You have a practical scientific mind....so I'm almost sorry for how I ask this...almost..
Have you ever had a  treatment where someone goes over your face with an infrared thingy?
Pretty sure it'ss supposed to help the collagen..

Online Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #74 on: July 16, 2020, 07:01:04 am »
@Maddie , hi, I have not. I believe they use that for hair growth. It stimulates the hair follicle out of the resting phase, so I have read. I do not think it does much if anything in my opinion.

The fractile laser causes trauma to the skin and collagen to repair the damage. The result can be smooth skin and reduced wrinkles and tighter skin.
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So I am winning my face hair issue. I will be seeing the two electrolysis persons but one for the face every other week and the other for now doing my crotch area. She cleared 75%of the area in 1 hour. I am not a very hairy person. I never had hair in  diamond shape, just the triangle.
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I had my vertical hood pierced and it looks awesome. I had it dome before but removed the jewelry because I did not like how little skin was pierced. This time it is done right. I may get two more VHP's. Also i may get nipples done again. I removed them because my daughter threw a fit. More ear piercings, maybe. Tongue, If I co it could only be a clear piercing. Even a clear piercing may not be good for work.
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Work
We are trying to ramp up but it is not responding well. We are 5 to 10 percent under census for this time of the year. We reduced budgets 18% or more, stripped capital projects and have no overtime.  Voluntary and involuntary furloughs are starting. Layoffs will start in September if we do not ramp up. Every product line is in the red. 4000 are working from home. So we will reduce rented office space too.

Rachel

Offline Maddie

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #75 on: July 23, 2020, 09:29:23 am »
Rachel, what is the FT on your timeline?


Online Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #76 on: July 23, 2020, 07:01:00 pm »
@Maddie, hi, FT is full time.
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There is a lot on my mind. Work is having a 10%staffing hours reduction. We cut vendors and vendor costs 15%. I think this may be just the beginning.

I have had a headache for a week and my sleep is not good. I have 48 staff and I am doing the best I can to spread the reduction evenly. I really dislike causing others discomfort.            <edit>
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I fell from my sobriety from pills. I dumped the remainder in the toilet. I just feel so stupid. What was I thinking. Well it is just for electrolysis. Then the sick thinking creeps in and  now they are in the toilet.
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My Gym opened back up and I cancelled my membership. I really enjoyed going there but not now. Philly will increase in cases the more it opens. I am disappointed with the Mayor.
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I cancelled my days off to go to NYC and see Dr. RBL. I need to think and finally decide it I want to call and cancel with them. I just need the cosmetic work with fat. I had about a 10% fat success with fat injections and a 90% failure. If I did it again and I had a 10 or 20% success then It would be better than it is now but still and lot for not to much gain. The question is will a 10 to 20 % success on the second try worth it?

« Last Edit: July 28, 2020, 08:56:58 am by Northern Star Girl »

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