Topic: MTF in need of help 2

[Pammie]

Those vaccines were properly tested before being pushed on the public.  And, drug companies would be legally (financially) responsible if those vaccines caused a health problem. 

Meanwhile, Covid was rushed through in truly record time.  It has not been properly tested.  But, the drug companies don’t care, because they are legally not liable even if they KNEW the vaccine would cause the problems. 

A year from now, if you and all the others who got the vaccine are doing fine, I’ll take it.

I think that is an ill informed and dangerous comment. All of the required testing has been done and reviewed according to all of the relevant legislation. It is simply not true to say it has not been properly tested. Yes it has happened quicker because funds were available to enable review and analysis to be done immediately.
Im actually surprised that your comments have not been picked up and removed


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[Rachel]

@Megan, @Pammie, thank you for your support.

Tomorrow I planned to go to Costco ( I love Costco) and get some food. I need to return a top too and I wanted to get another supply of super cute sox. So it depends on how my foot feels. I could hold off another week if need be. I have a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting for my ex's birthday. I will be going over there to exchange gifts for Christmas. I missed Christmas and News Years and my ex's birthday.

I did not break a bone in my foot so hopefully all will work out soon.
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I got a used electric guitar and beautiful amp today. Goal is to learn haw to play. The guy that gave them to me is in a band and wanted to give his older stuff away.
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Dr. Pleasure works where I work. We wear 2 ply surgical masks at work, non patient areas. Eye shields and N95 masks in patient rooms. Covid rooms gloves and gowns are worn ad eye shields in addition. I spent 16 nights straight in March in the Covid ward while the nurses were trained and coordination could be done. Medical staff in the covid rooms wore PAPRS, double gloves and tyvak suits and booties over the tyvek. This was the same as what we wear for Ebola. We are an Ebola center and I am on the bio-response team.

Since then we lowered the precautions to our present level. We had an outbreak with Nursing on a unit. It happens. If you let your guard down you will be infected.

I wore a mask at work and I had very limited outside exposure and wore a mask. I sat in an office next to a guy that had covid for 10 days. Because I wore a double ply surgical mask my viral load was low. My innate immune system was able to handle the viral load until my T cells made a specific covid response. My immune system was not over whelmed. This is what Dr. Pleasure, who work where I work says. I trust Dr. Pleasure. 

I am getting the vaccine post covid infection. The reason is there are variations to the Covid 2 virus. The South African strain has 4 spots that are supper sticky and allows the virus to enter cells easier. It is no more dangerous, just enters cells easier. I want an innate immunity(past virus exposure and have an immune response capacity) to battle the next wave. It is coming and we need to be healthy and have immunity.
 

I am getting the covid 2 vaccine next week. I had covid. I trust in the health care system.

We have a real issue with African Americans not trusting the system and not getting the vaccine at work. My dad died at 59 from strokes, my mom died from heart attacks. Both died over a 3 month period of living hell. Covid presents a high organ and vascular inflammatory response starting at day 10 to day 30. It all depends on the individual too.  Alcoholism, Meth and Heroine addictions and depression are in my family. I do my best to be healthy in body and mind. I am an alcoholic, and suffer from depression. During the pandemic I have done exceptionally well mentally and health wise. I still speak with my therapist every 2 weeks and set goals. I am doing everything I can to be healthy physically, emotionally and mentally. I actively seek out opportunities to do new things and do the things I think I will like to do. I love life and want to live every moment of every day.

Covid is but a portion of my life. I am doing things to win the Covid battle. I was back to work 8 days after getting covid and the CDC allowed me to return to work. The other two in the office that got covid are still out.

My Mom and Dad always said, "life is for the living. Live your life". I have been battling to live up to that for the past 9 years. Trans strong.

Rachel

[Rachel]

I had my first vaccination shot of the Moderna vaccine Thursday afternoon. I spent Friday in bed sick. Saturday I am much better but still have a slight head ache and can only be on my feet for 20 minutes at a time. I am sure tomorrow I will be 100%. It came infast and is leaving the same. I did not eat or drink yesterday but am drinking today and will try some keto ice cream and if that goes well some cheese and pickles with mustard.

I am really tired of being sick. But I am lucky i was able to get back on my feet relatively quickly. The vaccine, maybe I should have put it off a while longer but I think it would not matter.

I scheduled my next shot on a Friday. I had some second thoughts but I need to get it.

So yesterday I did not dilate or pump and no Tracy's Dog. But today I will. There was a party last night. When I get my next shot and recover I will go to parties. I really like them.

What will life be like post covid? I want to go to India, Thailand and Vietnam.

Rachel

[Megan.]

Rachel,

Glad to hear you're getting protection from this blight, and that the side effects were short-lived.

It may take months, but life in the company of others will hopefully come again. X

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[sarahc]

What will life be like post covid? I want to go to India, Thailand and Vietnam.

Rachel

Hopefully by summer this will (mostly) be a distant memory! On the work end, I want to go to business conferences and meet collaborators and maybe some potential clients. And on the personal side, I can't wait to visit all my friends and family across the country who haven't seen me since pre-transition.

Sarah

[Rachel Montgomery]

Rachel,

Glad to hear you're getting protection from this blight, and that the side effects were short-lived.

It may take months, but life in the company of others will hopefully come again. X

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I have seen it reported in “reputable” news source (if those still exist) that this is the new normal, and even after vaccines we will all need to social distance and wear masks from now on.  To that I say “I’m not doing that.”  If I go to prison for not doing it, so be it.  But, I am not doing this indefinitely.  I will do it until I have been vaccinated and waited the recommended weeks for full immunity, but then for me it is back to life as usual (whether legal or not). 

[Rachel]

I thought that because I had covid that I would not have a reaction to the 1st shot of the vaccine. I also thought that if I did not have a reaction to the first shot then the second shot would be a easy. What I was thinking is all wrong.

The injection sight is super itchy and painful. The skin over my deltoid is hot and red and there are three whitish welts. I think I had a reaction

Saturday night 2000 hrs and I am feeling great with the exception of the injection area. I am sure in a day or two it will be fine.

I will follow up with some peeps Tuesday in IP&C to see if they had heard of similar reactions. My daughter works in the hospital next to ours and she said several nurses had reactions to the 1st dose of the vaccine and they had covid too. I think the 2nd shot will be en experience.

[sarahc]

btw, how's the voice doing? 3 months now...

Sarah

[Northern Star Girl]

@Rachel
Dear Rachel:
Regarding your posting, I am concerned regarding the reactions you have had to the vaccine.
I trust that you will be able take the 2nd dose without more serious issues.

I am glad that you are not reporting serious and life threatening
 symptoms with the Covid...
... how soon will you be able to test negative?

Stay safe, stay healthy....
HUGS,
Danielle

I thought that because I had covid that I would not have a reaction to the 1st shot of the vaccine. I also thought that if I did not have a reaction to the first shot then the second shot would be a easy. What I was thinking is all wrong.

The injection sight is super itchy and painful. The skin over my deltoid is hot and red and there are three whitish welts. I think I had a reaction

Saturday night 2000 hrs and I am feeling great with the exception of the injection area. I am sure in a day or two it will be fine.

I will follow up with some peeps Tuesday in IP&C to see if they had heard of similar reactions. My daughter works in the hospital next to ours and she said several nurses had reactions to the 1st dose of the vaccine and they had covid too. I think the 2nd shot will be en experience.

[Rachel]

@sarahc, My voice is doing very well. I can breath which was a big issue from the other doctor placing the glottoplasty in the middle of the vocal fold. My HZ is consistently 210ish. It depends on hydration, humidity and temperature.  I will need laser tuning. The one vocal fold was larger than the other before the operation. We discussed it and I knew It would be needed. Dr. Thomas said it would improve when he stretched the vocal fold. Then let it heal and then address it later.

I have to push more air through the vocal fold to make sound which in turn sounds to me a little horse. I will contact his office tomorrow with a recording and see what they say.

@Northern Star Girl, when I went on the internal web site under bio-response I looked up vaccine FAQ. I was OK to receive the vaccine if I was fully recovered and had no symptoms. I informed the nurse dong the injection. She looked it up in her faq and said I would be fine. I came down with covid symptoms on 12/17/2020. I returned to work 12/31/2020 ( I should have stayed out until 1/3/2021 at least). If I did not return to work by 1/4/2021 I would be put on short term disability and lose 20% pay. I am salaried. I already lost 20 to 30% (variable incentive) of my pay. So disability loss of 20% would really put a damper on things. Work really hard and get half pay while some staff had no work and were home getting full pay. No, it does not sit well and to add being infected by a co-worker at work.

I left at 1.30 Friday (put in 8.5 hours not my usual 10 to 11 hours) and went home and slept.

Next shot is February 12, 2021 at 1330 hrs. Then I can enjoy the weekend in bed if need be. I will schedule that next Monday off.

I went to Costco today and stocked up on food. The gyms are allowed to be open in Philly and I want to re-up my membership. I need to get back to HIIT circuit training and doing my morning squats/21 stories climb/100 push ups routine.

Covid took a lot more from others than me, so I am very lucky.

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Last night I was reminded I am not a natal female. I will not lie to a guy. It really hurt. It was a tough ride home. I asked myself what more can I do? Why are people like that? I felt I had little value to a male and I was seen as repulsive. Not on how I look, he really like that, but that I am transexual.

I went from pain or rejection to pain of reality to pain of never being able to fully be stealth. He asked of the cuff and I stopped and told him the truth. I could have lied but that is worse.

Rachel

[Maddie]

Strong to be honest and take the pain of feeling to be no value.  Lie to them and yourself can lead to illness.
= Never can be true stealth.

Actions and plans equal life.
I'm choosing to survive too.

Conundrum.  Like the book title.
Only possible way thru the matrix.
And it hurts.

[Rachel]

@Maddie, hey girl

There are 6 parties this weekend. 3 on Friday and 3 on Saturday. I will go to the 10 PM on Friday and one of the Saturday parties. Lots of guys at the parties. Parties or get together or lots of guys and few woman. Anyhow it will be fun.

I agree, I will not lie to a guy. If he asks I will tell him. So far at the parties I receive a 12% rejection rate due to being trans. That means an 88% acceptance from black guys and they have a huge issue with being perceived as gay if they are straight. It is a community and lots of people go to different parties and know each other.

The guy running the Friday parties ask me if I would go to a trans party if he hosted it. He has had a lot of requests in private. I said sure but I think the guys may want a pre-op woman. I do not know. If he has the party I will be there.

A word about stealth
I have 6 tattoos. One above my ankle and a tramp stamp are about the lifestyle I find appealing. I do not hide my lifestyle tattoos. It is who I am. I do not hide that I am trans; it is who I am.

I texted the person running the Saturday party and he knew me from the Friday parties. He solicited me but I had stuff to do. I will see him Saturday.

Since the hall was shut down due to Covid I was lost. I went to two parties in the summer when covid was very low. Then Covid ramped up and I went back to just work and food shopping on off hours. I had covid so now I think it is safe to play. Covid is rampant in the Philly black community and no one wears masks at the parties and there is close contact. So I did not go to them out of fear of getting covid. Now, I think it is fun time.

 I had the one vaccine shot and it took me down for 2 days. It is a messenger RNA vaccine. So I make all the machinery to attack the protein tines on Covid. When I had covid it made antibodies for another part of covid.  I have dose 2 in a little over 2 weeks.

Another symptom post coved is a lot of hair fell out. I usually lose very little hair daily but for 2 weeks a lot of hair ( not that much but noticeably more than normal) fell out. I am sure it was due to the body stress. My hair is long now so it will take forever to replace it.

I was cleared by CDC to go back to work. I was out 10 days since 1st symptom and had no symptoms. However, at the time being super tired was not one of the symptoms they asked. Our fact sheet for the covid vaccine said if you have no symptoms and recovered from Covid you can receive the vaccine. I had the vaccine way too soon after Covid. Be advised, but everyone is different.

The guy that infected me is not doing well. His lungs were hit hard. I spoke to him a week ago and feel bad for his situation. His wife is very sick too and mother in law is in the hospital. He may not be well enough to come back to work this year.

Some people believe the BS a certain faction in the country is touting. It is BS. Wear a mask, social distance, stay away from crowds and limit exposure time. Wash your hands. Wash your hands. Wash your hands.

Here is an interesting item, where I work they are donating a portion of the vaccine to other front line health care workers. I wonder if it is because so many people at work are refusing the vaccine? Anyhow, AWA workers are not getting the vaccine until later and are pushed out 3 months on the return to work status, for now. I hope that helps to reduce the spread of the virus. I hope.

In the human trials Moderna had no one hospitalized after getting corona. The vaccine will not stop you from getting Corona. It ramps up the messenger RNA to have an arsenal ready for when Corona hits you.  Life has no guarantees. If you smoke you may want to stop. Overweight you may want to loose weight. Keto is anti-inflammatory, just saying.

Best,
Rachel

[Rachel]

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*****Caution Figuring out myself**********
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Friday I was going to get home early, sleep and go the a 10 PM party. I had a 4:30 to 5:30 meeting. Then I had a lot of phone calls Friday night and the weekend. So no nap so no party Friday night.

Saturday I was asked to stop by the party location early and had sex. It was great. It was a SLS couples and single woman party. I never was at one. People started arriving at 11. At 12 I went into a bedroom with two twin beds. There were guys in there and a few looking in. There were 60 people at the party. The couples were in their couple groups of 2. The guys in the bed rooms or looking in but did not approach. At 12:30 I put on my coat and left. I do not find guys that are not dominant attractive. I find them to be someone I do not want to be with.

Anyhow, Next weekend the Saturday party is a get blacked party, which I really like. The Friday party is a normal Friday party. Both parties are African American parties. I most likely will just go to one but would love to go to both.

I was thinking, when I get over my wild phase what will I do?  What do I want? I am having fun, gaining confidence and learning so much. Change occurs continuously. We may not notice it but in time the change occurs.  It may start as a feeling or questioning what next. I have started that phase. It sneaks up on you.

[Megan.]

...
I was thinking, when I get over my wild phase what will I do?  What do I want? I am having fun, gaining confidence and learning so much. Change occurs continuously. We may not notice it but in time the change occurs.  It may start as a feeling or questioning what next. I have started that phase. It sneaks up on you.

Firstly, enjoy that wild phase for as long as you enjoy it. You're an adult, you owe no one any obligation or explanation for your life, there is no right or wrong, just a fully relatable search for happiness.

Secondly. I think, particularly as medically transitioned transgender people, we've HAD to be proactive in becoming that person. I feel, as it seems you do, that we need keep being proactive.... We can, but importantly, no longer HAVE to - I'm still trying to figure this myself.

I'm not religious, but there is a degree of faith required in letting fate steer our ship. Sometimes stepping back from the wheel gives us a chance to enjoy the view, feel the breeze and value the simplicity of just being.

Don't force it, but embrace change when it comes and you'll be fine :-). X

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[Rachel]

@Megan, thank you for the support.

I went to the Saturday party. I was with a few guys. One in particular I am still thinking about. He was really my type. I hope we meet again and I think we will.

I was given a lead on another location that has great parties. I will be going to a Friday party this week I think. Maybe I will sleep instead and take a week off. I would love to walk the State Park.  I go to Portland for Laser vocal fold tuning next week. The state park is really high on my list. There is a very cool waterfall I would love to do some meditation there.

I am using some T on my clit, labia and vulva to hopefully increase libido and size and localized fat. Time will tell. libido is definitely increased.

[Maddie]

Hi Rachel you inspire by your approach to focus and goals.
I like how you prioritize your rest.
Good luck with your continuing work on your vocal folds and body.
Enjoy parks parties life.

[Rachel]

@Maddie,thank you for your support.

I had the second vaccine shot today. I feel a little off and the vaccine injection site hurts. So far so good.

When I reviewed what happened with the nurses that do the injections they said it was a good thing. It showed I had a good immune system. If it was good I would think I would have no response to the vaccine. The South African variant is supposed to be able to defeat the vaccine. I am guess we will have another shot or two in a few months.

Snow tonight and I feel a little off. Headache and a really full feeling. Not bad but not a party feeling. It will be snowing tomorrow night so I will most likely not go to the SLS party. Time will tell. There was a guy I was with last weekend that was really awesome. I was hoping to see him again. IDK, I think this weekend I will not play.

I go to Portland Tuesday, laser tuning Wednesday and return home. I hope my voice will finally be done.

Iam still noticing some hair falling out. I think Covid was a huge stress on my body. My nails are brittle too. I am taking collagen again. I could not drink it for a while because the thought made me feel sick. My tummy is back to normal now. I have been doing some reading and hair shedding is one of the common things that happens post covid. The shedding hair is super long so maybe it will grow back. 

I am back to 100 squats and up to 15 flights of steps. I hope to do 21 flights Monday.



Rachel

[RandyL]

Wow Rachel, your exercise regimen sounds awesome.

As for feeling the vaccine, what it does is provoke your immune system. So if you feel the effects it's because your system is freaking out and manufacturing antibodies, which is the whole goal. A lot of older people or those with weak immune systems have only a mild reaction which means they won't be as well protected.

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[Rachel]

@RandyL, That is what the nurse administering the vaccine said. My immune system is very strong.

Exercise, I am still ramping up the steps. Hopefully by the end of February I will be back to my per-covid routine. I want to rejoin the gym too. I love lifting and spinning. It had been 1 year away from the gym.
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Portland bound Tuesday very early. Tomorrow when I get home from work I will pack for an overnight stay. 0630 flight Tuesday. I am very excited
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I am looking for a 78 Bandit that is affordable. I will keep looking. My 1999 30th anniversary Trans Am with a worked engine is around 475 HP and bad ass. But it is not a 78 Bandit.

Rachel

[Megan.]

...
I am looking for a 78 Bandit that is affordable. I will keep looking. My 1999 30th anniversary Trans Am with a worked engine is around 475 HP and bad ass. But it is not a 78 Bandit.
...

A '73 bullnose Firebird would be my dream car if I lived in the US, but a bandit build would be nice too! :-)


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