Author Topic: One New Life to Live  (Read 1151 times)

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Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #20 on: August 12, 2020, 10:39:34 am »
Today's Wednesday and already it's been a momentous week. A call from Kaiser Monday offering me a FFS surgery date next week has set off a series of dominoes, tasks both medically and personally to ready before the operation: transportation to and from the Bay Area, care of my cat while I'm away, multiple tests, and shopping for post-op supplies.

One positive outcome from this surprise is that I'll now have more data to make my decision about whether to stay in my current city or move an hour north where I can begin to live 24/7 as Laura. My self questions and your wonderful replies, which are guiding me, may be found on my Stay or Go thread.

Deciding to pull up stakes and build a new house an hour north from here is a complex decision with a variety of decision points, not all easily made. Timing is also a factor. The main factor to move depends on how I feel when I look in the mirror after FFS. If I feel I can blend into the crowd, I'll feel more confident about moving and I know I'll need to wait at least two months after FFS to have an idea how my appearance has changed.

Onward.

Laura
One New Life to Live (My personal blog)

Laura's HRT Journal     |     Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Offline davina61

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #21 on: August 12, 2020, 11:07:50 am »
Good news dear, hope you get the logistics sorted. May it all go well XXX
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever

Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #22 on: August 15, 2020, 03:36:31 pm »
Today I feel blessed, not because FFS is three days away, but because I came out to one more tennis friend today and, like the other two of our Friday foursome, was accepting. Below is his reply.

Thanks for reaching out.  I know that couldn't have been easy for you.  My niece was in limbo with being transgender, so we are aware of the acceptance hurdles a person has to go through.  In the end, it starts and finishes with you.  Once you believe in your truth path, true friends and family will cling to that confidence and become the fabric around you.  Sure, there will be conflicts as some are more sensitive to change than others, but confidence will build your foundation.  There might be people that don't know you might talk behind your back or directly at you, but to deflect it and stand proud begins with the confidence you have in yourself.  It might be easier said than done, but rejection or disapproval is what everyone faces to one degree or another, so try not to fear it.  instead let it build your character.  As mentioned earlier, it finishes with you, It sounds like you've been dealing with fear of acceptance for over 50 years. Most are lucky to have lived that long and you have been in the shadows of your true self during that time.  If anything, you've earned the right to say, "Enough's enough" and its time to feel good about yourself.

We didn't become friends because you were a man, so no need to fear the friendship is weakened because you are going to be a woman.  Deflect the negative and accept the positive and life will be better than you think.  Hope the procedure helps.  It's understandable if you decide to move, but move because you want to, not because its a reaction to fear.

Should I start calling you Laura now?  And were did Elliott come from?  Isn't a surname change harder to file?


And so, as the countdown to FFS gets shorter, I have one more thing to be thankful for.

Laura
One New Life to Live (My personal blog)

Laura's HRT Journal     |     Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Online Northern Star Girl

  • Previously Alaskan Danielle
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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #23 on: August 15, 2020, 08:08:54 pm »
@Laura1951
Dear Laura:
A wonderful and terrific report!!!!!

Thank you for sharing.   I and the rest of your followers are so very happy for you!!!
It's great to have supportive friends.

Again, thank you for sharing your good report... please continue to keep us all updated.

HUGS,   
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #24 on: September 04, 2020, 01:08:42 pm »
Another step forward today.

This morning, I gathered the nerve to tell one of my neighbors that' I'm transgender. Using advice from @MichelleA and @AllieSF, I gave the Reader's Digest version of my story, including the part where I'm considering moving depending on reactions to my coming out. I'm blessed that she totally accepted me and urged me not to move. I have tears in my eyes. She also asked about what I preferred to be called and I filled her in.

Both neighbors had been talking in the street when I got home from shopping, and one neighbor's eight-year old son was with them. I didn't want to confess in from of him, preferring to give the parent the power to educate at her convenience. I'll tell her next time she's out alone.

So, in a few weeks when my face is healed from FFS, Laura will begin appearing part-time outside.

It's a good day.

Laura
One New Life to Live (My personal blog)

Laura's HRT Journal     |     Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Online Northern Star Girl

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #25 on: September 06, 2020, 09:13:44 pm »
@Laura1951
Dear Laura

Thank you posting your latest update.  I am wishing you well with your "coming out" announcement to your neighbors.  Please continue to keep me and the rest of your followers updated as you feel comfortable doing... and next, a special announcement for your followers.... 
- - - - - - - - - - - - -

I am wishing you a VERY
        HAPPY BIRTHDAY
       :icon_birthday:  :icon_birthday:  :icon_birthday:

Wishing you happiness and enjoy your special day.
??? Hmm, CAKE ???  Candles ???  Gifts ???  Friends ???  Family ???


***NOTE:  On your September 7th birthday be certain to check your profile for a special surprise! :)

Best wishes,
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline davina61

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #26 on: September 07, 2020, 01:27:57 pm »
Happy birthday Laura ,enjoy  XXX
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever

Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #27 on: September 07, 2020, 05:45:45 pm »
Thank you @Davina61 and @Danielle for the birthday wishes and for your encouragement. One step at a time.

Laura
One New Life to Live (My personal blog)

Laura's HRT Journal     |     Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #28 on: September 14, 2020, 10:16:35 am »
Fear.

That’s what has largely determined the timeline of my transition. I marvel at those who, once they come out to themselves, march right into HRT and, within 18 months, are living full-time. I wish that was me, but...

Fear.

I tend to compare my transition to a children’s story I used to read to my son, “Leo the Late Bloomer.” In the picture book, Leo, a young tiger, is behind his friends in speaking, writing, and nearly everything else. His father is concerned about his delayed development but his mom is not. She knows that everyone blooms when they are ready. Eventually and after further panic by his father, Leo does bloom, proving that not everyone develops at the same rate.

I’m Leo.

Fear has driven me, or more precisely, held me back. It took three years of taking one step forward followed by one step back before my need to transition was greater than my fear. By that point, I’d told two people about Laura. The first, which I call Person One, was a regular doubles partner who I had confided in previously. Having developed trust, I went the extra mile and revealed Laura. That she was, and continues to be, supportive is one of the reasons I was able to push fear back a bit. Oh, fear is still there, but now that I’ve taken many steps forward, I’m finding that it’s easier to take additional steps. It’s like, “Hey, I’m already three miles down the road. It’s easier to take another step forward than walk all the way back.”

Each time something good happens with my transition makes it easier to move forward. Telling the rest of my doubles group, and receiving their love back, empowered me to tell my neighbors. Acceptance by my neighbors will give me some confidence to step outside as Laura.

Yes, fear still drives me. While I may be gathering the confidence to be Laura around the people I know, whether I get to be Laura part-time or full-time is dependent, at least to me, on how well I can pass, or should I say, blend in, once the results of my FFS become apparent. One month after my FFS, there’s still some swelling and bruising, so I know I must wait at least another month before Laura’s new face will be revealed.

Onward.

Laura
One New Life to Live (My personal blog)

Laura's HRT Journal     |     Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Online Northern Star Girl

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #29 on: September 14, 2020, 12:02:04 pm »
@Laura1951
Dear Laura:
Thank you for sharing your latest post regarding "Fear"
Please understand that when fear and doubt are not excessive.... fear is our mechanism for our own personal and mental safety, but if gone unchecked it can be very crippling to our development and to our life plans.

A favorite quote of mine is:

     “FEAR has two meanings:

      Forget Everything And Run.

      Face Everything And Rise.”


I am looking forward to reading your future postings and sharings regarding your life and transition journey... 

HUGS and more HUGS,
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #30 on: September 14, 2020, 12:50:43 pm »
A favorite quote of mine is:

     “FEAR has two meanings:

      Forget Everything And Run.

      Face Everything And Rise.”


@Danielle

Your responses to my posts always bring a smile and some hope. I DO appreciate that, even during your busy days, you find time to peer into our lives and shine a light.

Laura
One New Life to Live (My personal blog)

Laura's HRT Journal     |     Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Tags: coming out