Author Topic: Pammie’s all new blog  (Read 14392 times)

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Online Pammie

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #20 on: February 26, 2020, 03:50:25 pm »
Pammie, that is your special photo and nobody else needs to like it! If it is that important to your  son and his wife you could have anther photo made including you all. I was so touched seeing that photo as I cherish my children above all, and I can imagine what it means to you.

Hugs,

Allie
Thanks Allie! x


I opened the door and the light shone in

Online Pammie

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #21 on: February 27, 2020, 01:25:55 pm »
Good evening!
I had a better day today - worked from home and my Andy came over for a while too! Outrageous if anyone is suggesting that the working from home bit may have been lacking the first word during that visit! (Outrageous but not necessarily completely wrong!)
As I wasn’t going out (I had a walk later in the afternoon) and Andy was coming over I dressed a little minimalist
I have a great working relationship as i often work late in the evening and sometimes at weekends and in exchange I take breaks when I want!
90 minutes sofa time was much more fun than sitting behind my laptop!
Andy makes me feel so feminine and is so appreciative - I never even think about the trans bit - i’m just a woman - no prefix required!
Sadly he couldn’t stay which was a shame as a lie down would have been nice

Online Pammie

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #22 on: February 28, 2020, 09:42:54 am »
Good afternoon!
It’s Friday - yay!!!
For me Friday means driving 130 miles from my home in Manchester upto North-East England to help look after my grandchildren. I’ll drive home again Sunday afternoon. Really it’s a win - win because my lovely son-in-law gets some help and I get to spend time with the 2 boys (Jake is 6 and Sam is 5) who do so remind me of their beautiful mum Siobhan- my daughter.
One of the nice things about my job is we finish at 1 on a Friday!
Friday in the office is dress down day too.
The drive up always seems to include 5 minutes of tears when I suddenly remember that my little girl is dead - grief can suck all the joy out of living sometimes.


I opened the door and the light shone in

Offline MikaelaA

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #23 on: February 28, 2020, 10:00:46 am »
Hi Pammie,

Sorry for the loss of your daughter.  It's never easy to lose a loved one that you care so much about.  At least you will be able to spend some time with your grandchildren which has a part of your daughter in each one of them.  I hope you have a safe drive up north and able to enjoy your time with them.  Have a great weekend !!!
Finally discovered the real ME: September 5, 2019
Started HRT: September 20, 2019
Out to my wife: October 25, 2019
Out to my closest friends and family: February 9, 2020
Out at work: July 31, 2020
Legal name change: September 29, 2020

Offline Julie H

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #24 on: February 28, 2020, 10:06:54 am »
Huggs Pammie
Julie

Offline Emma1017

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #25 on: February 28, 2020, 10:35:28 am »
Hey Pammie.   

I think it's great that you have started your own thread. I am so sorry to read about your loss.  That kind of loss leaves such a large hole in you heart but it so great to read that you are still capable of having so much joy in your life.  That is huge.

I also love your photos and your great smile!

Hugs,

Emma
  The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Online Pammie

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #26 on: February 28, 2020, 10:39:21 am »
Hi Pammie,

Sorry for the loss of your daughter.  It's never easy to lose a loved one that you care so much about.  At least you will be able to spend some time with your grandchildren which has a part of your daughter in each one of them.  I hope you have a safe drive up north and able to enjoy your time with them.  Have a great weekend !!!
Awww thanks! I’m here with them now and being as annoying as only a Gran can be!


I opened the door and the light shone in

Online Pammie

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #27 on: February 28, 2020, 10:39:46 am »
Hey Pammie.   

I think it's great that you have started your own thread. I am so sorry to read about your loss.  That kind of loss leaves such a large hole in you heart but it so great to read that you are still capable of having so much joy in your life.  That is huge.

I also love your photos and your great smile!

Hugs,

Emma
Thanks Emma! Xx


I opened the door and the light shone in

Online Pammie

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #28 on: February 28, 2020, 10:40:26 am »
Huggs Pammie
Thanks Julie - hugs are my favourite thing in the whole world! Xx


I opened the door and the light shone in

Online Pammie

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Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #29 on: February 29, 2020, 11:45:17 am »
Happy Saturday everyone!
Up in Teesside looking after some of my grandkids and a family meal out to celebrate my oldest granddaughters 12th birthday!
It’s very hectic and I have 3 of my grandkids staying over tonight!
It’s good to have family time even if that can come with squabbling built in!

I live in a paradox, may be we all do! On the one hand it’s important to me that people understand i’m not Paul in a dress (i’m really not, i’m different in a lot of ways) but at the same time i’m trying to reassure people that i’m still me! My younger daughter Grace wants me to be the same person I used to be so she can feel like she’s not lost her dad - sigh





I opened the door and the light shone in

Offline CynthiaAnn

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #30 on: February 29, 2020, 06:24:05 pm »
It’s very hectic and I have 3 of my grandkids staying over tonight!
It’s good to have family time even if that can come with squabbling built in!


How fun having the grand kids over Pammie  :) I am envious, our daughters not there yet, maybe someday.

Hope your youngest daughter can come around someday, it's hard.

Hugs

Cyndi

kindness is love nurturing your soul....

Online Pammie

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #31 on: March 01, 2020, 03:14:06 pm »
I think most people who have read posts from me would acknowledge they are, in the main, quite positive. Sometimes I think I try to represent the positives about transitioning and how amazing life can be. But, you know, every one of us has challenges. Some days I cry for hours, partly about my daughters death but also about how my surviving children take their anger and grief out on me. I’m the punchbag and my transitioning the bulls eye they aim for.
My younger daughter can be so vicious and unyielding and sometimes makes me feel like i’m evil and horrible.
Transitioning and becoming my true self opened a huge reservoir of strength and fortitude but it now seems it’s barely enough. I grieve for my daughter while I have to defend myself. Tonight I have had 30 or do text messages from my younger daughter basically telling me how evil I am and how I’ve killed her dad.
My heart hurts so much and tonight’s smile is skin deep




I opened the door and the light shone in

Offline Julie H

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #32 on: March 01, 2020, 07:34:01 pm »
Again Hugs
Julie

Online Pammie

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #33 on: March 01, 2020, 08:08:51 pm »
Again Hugs
Thanks Julie -I seem to be needing them this week!


I opened the door and the light shone in

Online Pammie

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #34 on: March 02, 2020, 02:17:29 pm »
Recovery day today. I’ve kept off the chocolate, been for a run and a longish walk and 30 minutes with my kettlebell - oh and a days work! All of that to try not to think about what my daughter said to me last night.
Head been a bit confused today. I went into work mega early so that i could go to the gym, afterwards went up to the office only to realise I hadn’t brought my laptop to work.
So ended up going back home and working from there. Oh dear.




I opened the door and the light shone in

Online Northern Star Girl

  • Previously Alaskan Danielle
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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #35 on: March 02, 2020, 02:35:03 pm »
@Pammie
Dar Pammie:
I am enjoying your daily updates and you new posted pictures...   
...   I have to tell you that all of them are wonderful to see... BUT this last one of yours is certainly near the top of my favorite list.
 
You look terrific, thank you for sharing.

HUGS and best wishes,
Danielle

Recovery day today. I’ve kept off the chocolate, been for a run and a longish walk and 30 minutes with my kettlebell - oh and a days work! All of that to try not to think about what my daughter said to me last night.
Head been a bit confused today. I went into work mega early so that i could go to the gym, afterwards went up to the office only to realise I hadn’t brought my laptop to work.
So ended up going back home and working from there. Oh dear.




I opened the door and the light shone in
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Started HRT:   March 2015
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I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Online Pammie

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #36 on: March 02, 2020, 02:37:59 pm »
@Pammie
Dar Pammie:
I am enjoying your daily updates and you new posted pictures...   
...   I have to tell you that all of them are wonderful to see... BUT this last one of yours is certainly near the top of my favorite list.
 
You look terrific, thank you for sharing.

HUGS and best wishes,
Danielle
Awwww thank you so much Danielle xx. Hugs for you too


I opened the door and the light shone in

Offline Julie H

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #37 on: March 02, 2020, 03:53:06 pm »
Hugs I hope today is going better for you
Julie

Online Pammie

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #38 on: March 03, 2020, 01:44:05 am »
Hugs I hope today is going better for you
It Was a little better thanks Julie. Loving my hugs xx


I opened the door and the light shone in

Online Pammie

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #39 on: March 03, 2020, 01:41:44 pm »
So, I did an emotional reset today and gave myself a proverbial kick up the bum!
Got up at 5am with a positive attitude and went for a 6km run. Today I was at a user group conference and was on top form! I even got the end of day award for most contributions! Felt good all day and was looking pretty good too!
Now cooking tea and then chilling!
Positive is my natural state I believe!




I opened the door and the light shone in

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