Author Topic: Pammie’s all new blog  (Read 14398 times)

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Online Pammie

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #320 on: June 07, 2020, 01:50:19 am »
Hugs
Love my hugs xxx


I opened the door and the light shone in

Offline davina61

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #321 on: June 07, 2020, 03:30:39 am »
Extra big hug from me as well, think of the fun times dear XXXX
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever

Offline Ellie_Arroway

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #322 on: June 07, 2020, 03:45:48 am »
Love my hugs xxx

Please allow me to offer you a hug as well. - E
Started seriously questioning: 24 Aug 2019
Referred to GIC: 23 Sep 2019
Full-time female presentation since: 21 Oct 2019, unbroken since 12 Dec 2019
Official name change by deed poll: 11 Nov 2019
HRT: "kind of" started 15 Jul 2020
Most of my story is in the Just another mtf tale thread!
Twitch streamer MusicEllie

Online Pammie

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #323 on: June 07, 2020, 01:55:39 pm »
Extra big hug from me as well, think of the fun times dear XXXX
Ur so right, it’s so important to remember my thousands of wonderful memories xxx


I opened the door and the light shone in

Online Pammie

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #324 on: June 07, 2020, 01:56:34 pm »
Please allow me to offer you a hug as well. - E
Of course and thank you so much! Hugs are always welcome xxx


I opened the door and the light shone in

Online Northern Star Girl

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #325 on: June 07, 2020, 02:02:16 pm »
Just one week until my daughters birthday  - would have been her 35th.
All things pale to me in comparison - I thought until Siobhan died that transition was my biggest challenge but now I know it wasn’t.
I don’t wonder “will I cry today” but rather “how often and for how long will I cry today”
- I have learned over the past 320 days to allow myself periods of happiness up to 4 or 5 hrs max and that it’s ok to cry - grief is a harsh mistress.
We all have challenges, I’ve realised that too but it doesn’t seem to help me survive my own.


I opened the door and the light shone in

@Pammie

          

Many HUGS from me to you!!!
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Online Pammie

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #326 on: June 07, 2020, 02:03:11 pm »
@Pammie

                     

Many HUGS from me to you!!!
Danielle

Thanks so much hun! Xxx


I opened the door and the light shone in

Online Pammie

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #327 on: June 10, 2020, 05:19:11 pm »
It would have been my beautiful daughter Siobhan’s 35th birthday this coming Sunday - i’m really struggling to stay in control. I wrote a poem which kinda explains it........

I just needed to let this out and release my fear.....

Alone, no defence against my darkening thoughts
Isolated and my spirit assailed by rising grief
Defences crumbling at the constant attacks
As I close towards long-feared dates...

For 321 days I have striven to find a way,
A way of living with a broken heart,
A way of crying when I need to but laughing when I can
A way of learning to go on....

But time is no friend, her touch as cold as ice,
Far from blunt sharp memories she heralds dates anew,
Laughter in her cruel voice as I lay unprepared,
For a while I have hidden but now I am laid bare.

‘Tis but a birthday, a chance to celebrate a life
A life which brought such joy, such laughter, such love,
Yet I feel the deep well of my grief internal,
As it rises and rises and stands now but a whisker from my eyes...

Such wonderful family I have and a boyfriend so
true,
Such lovely friends quick to offer support,
Yet still, at times, I face my fears alone,
And fear utter defeat, ruin, the blackness awaits....

I know there is light, aplenty and all around,
I know there is friendship and love and warmth of spirit,
I know there is safety in the arms of my family,
Yet still I fear and know my weaknesses are discovered.....


I opened the door and the light shone in

Online Northern Star Girl

  • Previously Alaskan Danielle
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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #328 on: June 10, 2020, 05:27:36 pm »
@Pammie
Dear Pammie:
Thank you so very much for sharing that heartfelt poem....   it brought tears to my eyes and at the same time it brought tears of joy to me that you were able to write it and share it with me and the rest of your followers here.

Many HUGS and best wishes to you....   even though and very unfortunately she is gone, you still have the memories that no one can ever take away.


HUGS and many more HUGS 
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline davina61

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #329 on: June 11, 2020, 02:37:30 am »
Pam dear its great you can put your feelings on paper, that must help. I will be thinking of you on Sunday so a very big HUG to keep you going XXXXX
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever

Online Pammie

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #330 on: June 11, 2020, 05:04:43 pm »
@Pammie
Dear Pammie:
Thank you so very much for sharing that heartfelt poem....   it brought tears to my eyes and at the same time it brought tears of joy to me that you were able to write it and share it with me and the rest of your followers here.

Many HUGS and best wishes to you....   even though and very unfortunately she is gone, you still have the memories that no one can ever take away.


HUGS and many more HUGS 
Danielle
Thank you so very much. Hugs always keep me going xxx


I opened the door and the light shone in

Online Pammie

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #331 on: June 11, 2020, 05:05:31 pm »
Pam dear its great you can put your feelings on paper, that must help. I will be thinking of you on Sunday so a very big HUG to keep you going XXXXX
Thank you Hun! Love my hugs xxx


I opened the door and the light shone in

Offline Ellie_Arroway

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #332 on: June 11, 2020, 05:17:20 pm »
All the hugs in the world for you on Sunday, Pammie... no parent should ever have to go through that. - E
Started seriously questioning: 24 Aug 2019
Referred to GIC: 23 Sep 2019
Full-time female presentation since: 21 Oct 2019, unbroken since 12 Dec 2019
Official name change by deed poll: 11 Nov 2019
HRT: "kind of" started 15 Jul 2020
Most of my story is in the Just another mtf tale thread!
Twitch streamer MusicEllie

Offline Emma1017

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #333 on: June 11, 2020, 06:29:22 pm »
I am so in on the hugs Pammie, so:

HUGS!!!
  The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Online Pammie

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #334 on: June 12, 2020, 03:04:11 pm »
All the hugs in the world for you on Sunday, Pammie... no parent should ever have to go through that. - E
Thank you so much. I’m collecting all these hugs and taking them with me on Sunday when I go up to Teesside where my little girl lived.
I’m going to need every single one. My heart hurts so much. 9 or 10 times in tears today so far. Xxx


I opened the door and the light shone in

Online Pammie

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #335 on: June 12, 2020, 03:05:36 pm »
I am so in on the hugs Pammie, so:

HUGS!!!
I’m going to need a lorry to carry all these hugs with me on Sunday - thank you so much xxx


I opened the door and the light shone in

Offline Julie H

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #336 on: June 12, 2020, 03:17:23 pm »
Hugs
Julie

Online Pammie

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #337 on: June 12, 2020, 03:53:42 pm »
Hugs
Xxx


I opened the door and the light shone in

Online Pammie

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Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #338 on: June 13, 2020, 05:26:58 pm »
In 40 mins it will be my beautiful little girl’s birthday but the first since she died. I miss my lovely Siobhan Thomas every single day. I wrote a little poem for her.....

So many smiles, that’s what I remember,
So much love you gave to us all,
So much delight and laughter you brought,
So much to replay in my mind, on permanent loop.

Everyone you touched was eternally enriched.
Everyone you met left with a spring in their step,
Everyone who knew you loved you and loved to see you,
Every one of us feels honoured to have been part of your life.

I have 10,000 memories that help me be positive,
A determination to celebrate your life,
You deserve smiles and laughter not tears and woe,
Bear with me, my darling, daddy is trying so hard.

Your life was a shining light that guided us all,
An example to follow, a template to use,
You brought so much into the world,
And now we all must strive to keep that light shining,

My beautiful little girl, I miss her so much as we all do. Xxxx


I opened the door and the light shone in
« Last Edit: June 13, 2020, 06:31:52 pm by Pammie »

Offline Julie H

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Re: Pammie’s all new blog
« Reply #339 on: June 13, 2020, 08:27:55 pm »
Extra special hugs today.
Julie

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