Activism and Politics > Discrimination

Discriminated for being Trans for the first time in over a year, feeling down

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Paul Muad-Dib:

--- Quote from: Oldandcreaky on March 16, 2020, 03:29:07 pm ---I'm your fangirl, Paul.

--- End quote ---

Surprised to be gathering fangirls here, but certainly not complaining.

Miss Kitty:
you are all amazing!

I haven't checked on this thread on a couple of days and I am really appreciative all of the advice you have all given me. I don't know where to start with replying, but I am taking every last bit of advice on board. I am trying to be more conscious of how I dress and where it is appropriate to do so. Today, for example, I went grocery shopping and intentionally wore a basic pleated skirt, unisex top and flat shoes with no makeup at all. I would have looked like virtually every other woman in the store. I didn't get one look from any one (and I was checking hehe).

After what has happened though, I am trying to simply not give a poop, and acknowledge that at least for now, I don't pass 100 percent of the time. I have learnt in the past to simply ignore peoples negative reactions, self harm, substance abuse or falling into depression achieve literally nothing. If any thing I'm "giving in to the enemy" by doing those things, but I suppose it hurt this time because it's been so long that I secretly hoped I was in the clear for good (despite suspecting deep down people were still whispering about my gender behind my back).

I am still planing on getting more FFS, but it isn't just because society isn't totally accepting, I hate the fact that the bottom half of my face is still a reminder of my old self, who I hate passionately. That being said, I'm not going to be a sad sack for the next year or so while I wait for more surgery. I just have to use the same coping methods as before if I encounter an awful person again.

I survived being trans for the first 6 months of HRT, which as I discussed, was probably the worst time of my life, I'm sure I can make it through whatever comes next, I'm sure I will still reassurance from every one here, from time to time. I don't think more therapy will help me, the last time I saw a psychiatrist I was genuinely bored and wanted to leave. Not because he wasn't an amazing doctor, but I feel like I've done the mental health thing to death. I feel like I'm just repeating my life story and hearing the same advice over and over again.

Support from family (which I'm getting) and support from my fellow Trans community on here is invaluable to me and at the moment better than further "professional" help, well at least thats what I think.

Oldandcreaky:
Whoa, Miss Kitty! When I read this, "I am really appreciative all of the advice you have all given me," I was a little skeptical. There's a part of the brain that enables a person to do this; It's the cingulate anterior cortex and yours must be a whopper, for it isn't easy to hear and apply disparate, discordant advice and you did.

A. I'm glad you next grocery shopping foray went well.

B. I'm glad you're accepting that they might not all go well and you're bracing for it.

C. I'm glad you've pinpointed a possibly troublesome site and are going to do something about it.

D. Most of all, I'm thrilled you're still standing, still going out in the world, and that you have such a beautiful mind.

Miss Kitty:

--- Quote from: Oldandcreaky on March 17, 2020, 07:14:58 am ---Whoa, Miss Kitty! When I read this, "I am really appreciative all of the advice you have all given me," I was a little skeptical. There's a part of the brain that enables a person to do this; It's the cingulate anterior cortex and yours must be a whopper, for it isn't easy to hear and apply disparate, discordant advice and you did

--- End quote ---

I seriously thought you were going to use some elaborate scientific insult about my brain just now haha. Thank you! You have all been wonderful. Things are still going good, I had an attractive man today comment positively on my looks (actually as a feminist I should have been offended by his unwanted comments about my appearance but in light of how I've felt lately, I was very happy indeedy). Im taking all the good and using that to push out the bad. I will be right back here though if I need advice, I think I still have a huge road ahead of me and it means the world to me knowing that this community exist.

Ellie_Arroway:

--- Quote from: Miss Kitty on March 19, 2020, 04:08:41 am ---I had an attractive man today comment positively on my looks (actually as a feminist I should have been offended by his unwanted comments about my appearance but in light of how I've felt lately, I was very happy indeedy).

--- End quote ---

Sorry to sidetrack the thread a bit, but why as a feminist should you be offended by a compliment? As long as it was polite, that is...

The word should be equalist in my opinion, not feminist. Feminist is about equality for all. I don't see anything wrong with paying someone a compliment no matter what gender they belong to.

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