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Author Topic: Seeing a Trans Therapist.  (Read 405 times)

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Offline RobinM.R.

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Seeing a Trans Therapist.
« on: March 13, 2020, 09:37:23 pm »
I'm seeing a Transgender specialist therapist monday. I haven't thought too hard about what I'm going to say. I just figured I'd give a summary of my transgender experience through life and my dysphorias. I hope I dont break down and cry. I've waited my whole life for this. I'm starting to get nervous as I write this.


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Offline Jenny_Oh

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Re: Seeing a Trans Therapist.
« Reply #1 on: March 13, 2020, 10:05:21 pm »
Hey Ray123,

Good for you being so brave!

It takes a lot of guts to do what you're doing. But talking never hurt anybody, discussing feelings never caused anybody to change their gender and breaking down and crying is about the most cathartic thing you can do when life is beating up on you. I hope you've found a good one,

Hugs,
Jennifer
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Offline RandyL

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Re: Seeing a Trans Therapist.
« Reply #2 on: March 13, 2020, 10:18:39 pm »
Hi Ray, my legal name is Ray, but I've never used it because it was my Dad's name. Hope it works well for you now I'm MTF so it doesn't fit me anymore.

Crying in therapy comes so naturally that whenever I sit down I grab the box of tissues (there are always several available) and bring it next to me. It's almost like if you don't cry you aren't really getting into it. Not that I always do...some sessions we work at a different level I guess. Anyway, if you feel it, let it out.

I hope you get a good chemistry with your therapist as it's crucial. If you don't there's nothing wrong with finding somebody else. Good luck.

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Casting about for my best path forward...

My personal blog thread: Randy the lost traveler, finding the right road at last

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Offline Battle Goddess

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Re: Seeing a Trans Therapist.
« Reply #3 on: March 13, 2020, 11:20:36 pm »
Nothing wrong with crying, Ray. When you think about it, a therapist's office is about the safest place for it. I don't always cry. Once in a while I do. You never know. It's no big deal.

It is a phenomenon, though, and a clue, so it's something to learn from and to ponder on. Discomfort with crying is something to ponder on, too.

Good luck.
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"It's not really a choice. Because we're not choosing to transition...we're choosing to be happy." -- SarahC

Spironolactone January 10 2019
Divigel January 20 2019
Estradiol Valerate March 14 2019

Offline sarahc

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Re: Seeing a Trans Therapist.
« Reply #4 on: March 14, 2020, 06:43:20 am »
Quote from: Ray123 on March 13, 2020, 09:37:23 pm
I'm seeing a Transgender specialist therapist monday. I haven't thought too hard about what I'm going to say. I just figured I'd give a summary of my transgender experience through life and my dysphorias. I hope I dont break down and cry. I've waited my whole life for this. I'm starting to get nervous as I write this.


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I remember feeling exactly the same before my first therapy session 17 months ago. I had never been in therapy for anything before that first session and I had never told anyone that I was transgender. I remember sitting down in the therapist’s office somewhat incredulous that I had arrived at this moment in life and that I was actually making this decision to tell someone. And it felt really, really, REALLY good to finally tell someone. Coming out of that first session was literally one of the happiest moments of my life.

Sarah

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----
48 years young.
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.phpVF/topic,244009.0.html)
VFS: September 2019; three-month report here
Full-time: April 2020
FFS: August 2020
SRS: January 2021

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: Seeing a Trans Therapist.
« Reply #5 on: March 14, 2020, 07:10:42 am »
Having an effective, knowledgeable gender therapist who can listen and help you as you need clarity, discovery, letters, and more is good to have. 

I would not be too concerned about what to say, if you cry, and how it will go.  I do realize that these are all reasonable and normal concerns.  Simply show up and be willing to answer questions.  You do need to be able to state why you are there, what you need help with, desire for letters, HRT, and so on.  If you have not made any decisions or timetables in that regard, say so if asked.

If your therapist is of little help, consider finding another before giving up gender therapy.  Some may not be a good match for you, but you cannot determine that until and if you experience that.

Oh, when you go, dress comfortably, do not be concerned about “what you have to wear.”  If you present as female now, go that way.  If you do not, go with your usual look.

It takes a lot of courage to go.  I hope that it goes very, very well for you. If you cry, that will be just fine.  If you do not cry, that will be just fine.

I would be open with your answers.  Let your therapist guide you. 

You will be just fine.   :)

Chrissy
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Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others. 

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline Oldandcreaky

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Re: Seeing a Trans Therapist.
« Reply #6 on: March 14, 2020, 07:27:21 am »
If you don't cry here and there, all that salt water will rust your gut. So, flush for your health.
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Offline madeleine

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Re: Seeing a Trans Therapist.
« Reply #7 on: March 14, 2020, 09:53:26 am »
I just started with a new gender therapist last week.  In the first session I cried.  It was one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me.
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Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: Seeing a Trans Therapist.
« Reply #8 on: March 14, 2020, 01:36:34 pm »
Quote from: madeleine on March 14, 2020, 09:53:26 am
I just started with a new gender therapist last week.  In the first session I cried.  It was one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me.

I am glad that this was very helpful to you.  :)

Hugs,

Chrissy
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Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others. 

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Online Megan.

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Re: Seeing a Trans Therapist.
« Reply #9 on: March 14, 2020, 03:12:06 pm »


Quote from: Ray123 on March 13, 2020, 09:37:23 pm
I'm seeing a Transgender specialist therapist monday. I haven't thought too hard about what I'm going to say. I just figured I'd give a summary of my transgender experience through life and my dysphorias. I hope I dont break down and cry. I've waited my whole life for this. I'm starting to get nervous as I write this.


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My first session was a very emotional affair. I didn't cry, but was almost in shock after. It was the first time I'd told anyone about my feelings - at the age of 38 i'd been totally closeted.
My therapist just gave me reassurances of their confidentiality, explained how they worked and asked why I was there...

Good luck. X

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"Life is a travelling to the edge of knowledge, then a leap taken." - D. H. Lawrence
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