Author Topic: Just made my first step towards transition  (Read 3660 times)

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Offline ssjErika33

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Just made my first step towards transition
« on: March 23, 2020, 03:45:39 pm »
Hopefully this is the right sub forum

So I just called to schedule an appointment with the doctor in town that specializes in transgender medicine. There is a wait list to I won’t get in until July or August, but after weeks of putting it off I finally made the phone call. Very nervous but also very excited.

2020 has been a big year for me so far and can’t wait to see where it goes from here.

Erika

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Re: Just made my first step towards transition
« Reply #1 on: March 23, 2020, 04:02:03 pm »
@ssjErika33
Dear Erika:
This is indeed very exciting for you, and exciting for your readers and followers to read.
Every journey starts with a first step, and like many first steps they can be filled with anxious nervousness... rest assured, your first step was the hardest... but there are more to come.

We are your biggest fans and we will always be rooting for your success... and when you report not-so-good news we are here to support you with our ears to listen and our shoulders for you to lean on.

Please continue to keep us all updated as you feel comfortable sharing.
HUGS and more HUGS,
Danielle


Hopefully this is the right sub forum

So I just called to schedule an appointment with the doctor in town that specializes in transgender medicine. There is a wait list to I won’t get in until July or August, but after weeks of putting it off I finally made the phone call. Very nervous but also very excited.

2020 has been a big year for me so far and can’t wait to see where it goes from here.

Erika
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Offline Maid Marion

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Re: Just made my first step towards transition
« Reply #2 on: March 23, 2020, 04:04:50 pm »
Hi Erika,

I wish you well.  I personally don't need any transgender services but I now have a PCP or primary care physician that does LGBTQ medicine in case my situation changes.

Marion

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: Just made my first step towards transition
« Reply #3 on: March 23, 2020, 04:15:04 pm »
Hopefully this is the right sub forum

So I just called to schedule an appointment with the doctor in town that specializes in transgender medicine. There is a wait list to I won’t get in until July or August, but after weeks of putting it off I finally made the phone call. Very nervous but also very excited.

2020 has been a big year for me so far and can’t wait to see where it goes from here.

Erika


Erika,

So cool!   :)

That must be super exciting for you!

Chrissy

Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline Jenny_Oh

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Re: Just made my first step towards transition
« Reply #4 on: March 23, 2020, 04:23:03 pm »
There is a wait list to I won’t get in until July or August, but after weeks of putting it off I finally made the phone call. Very nervous but also very excited.

2020 has been a big year for me so far and can’t wait to see where it goes from here.

Erika
Congratulations, my appointment is September 3rd!! Talk about a wait list.... but the decision itself is one for the rest of your life.

Offline Sophiaprincess2019

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Re: Just made my first step towards transition
« Reply #5 on: March 23, 2020, 07:12:43 pm »
Erika, welcome to SP and congratulations on making this life-changing decision. I know you have thought a long time about this and know there are people here who have walked your shoes. This particular site is the leading authority on gender transition because members here have the latest, current information as it's being lived.

You're going to need a lot of help. Maybe take a little time to evaluate your support system. Please reach out to members here with your questions and concerns.

Best wishes and support as your journey begins. This is a HUGE game changer!

Love and confidence,

Sophia
1968 Assigned male at birth with feminine mannerisms
1978 Dolls and dresses
1988 Experimental stage, limited makeup and clothes
1998 Denial continues, unsuccessfully tried living as a man
12-8-2018 time for a change....
2-21-2019 Started HRT
2-21-2020 One year HRT
2-21-2021 Two years HRT

Offline sarahc

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Re: Just made my first step towards transition
« Reply #6 on: March 23, 2020, 07:20:12 pm »
Yay! Congratulations - the first step is always the hardest!

If you have the opportunity, I would definitely consider going to a gender therapist  in the meantime. Having never been in therapy prior to transition, I vastly underestimated the value of having a therapist through this process. My therapist has been extremely helpful. Just something to consider.

Sarah
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Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.phpVF/topic,244009.0.html)
VFS: September 2019; three-month report here
Full-time: April 2020
FFS: August 2020
SRS: January 2021

Offline ssjErika33

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Re: Just made my first step towards transition
« Reply #7 on: March 23, 2020, 09:06:50 pm »
Yay! Congratulations - the first step is always the hardest!

If you have the opportunity, I would definitely consider going to a gender therapist  in the meantime. Having never been in therapy prior to transition, I vastly underestimated the value of having a therapist through this process. My therapist has been extremely helpful. Just something to consider.

Sarah

I’m currently seeing a therapist who is working with me on this, she gave me the resources and what not, but she is a general therapist, do I need to find a gender therapist as a requirement for the doctor?

Also a question for anyone who can answer. I know it’s a ways away but what can I expect at my first appointment with the doctor?

Thanks in advance

Erika

Offline sarahc

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Re: Just made my first step towards transition
« Reply #8 on: March 23, 2020, 10:02:56 pm »
I’m currently seeing a therapist who is working with me on this, she gave me the resources and what not, but she is a general therapist, do I need to find a gender therapist as a requirement for the doctor?

Also a question for anyone who can answer. I know it’s a ways away but what can I expect at my first appointment with the doctor?

Thanks in advance

Erika

It’s good to hear that you have a therapist already. If you’re happy with your current therapist, and you feel she is providing the resources and help you need, great. A gender therapist will be more familiar with a lot of the stages of transition, but the most important thing is to have a productive relationship with your therapist.

Your doctor will likely do a thorough medical review with you and will also take you through the informed consent process. Since you’re working with a doctor who has experience working with trans patients, the doctor will likely prescribe you hormones either immediately or a few days afterwards once your labs come back. In most cases, the doctor will want to review the labs prior to starting you on hormones to ensure that the labs reveal no underlying health issues.

Sarah
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48 years young.
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.phpVF/topic,244009.0.html)
VFS: September 2019; three-month report here
Full-time: April 2020
FFS: August 2020
SRS: January 2021

Offline Battle Goddess

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Re: Just made my first step towards transition
« Reply #9 on: March 24, 2020, 09:32:52 am »
Rock on, Erika! The first step is the most honest.
"It's not really a choice. Because we're not choosing to transition...we're choosing to be happy." -- SarahC

"Freedom comes at a high price. But I have paid that price, and I am free." -- Muhammad Ali

"Have a gentle manner ❤️" -- Chrissy Ryan
"Working on it" -- Battle Goddess


Introductory Post: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,242617.msg2196235.html

Whiny HRT and Transition Blog: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,244163.msg2217618.html

Spironolactone January 10 2019
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Offline ssjErika33

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Re: Just made my first step towards transition
« Reply #10 on: March 24, 2020, 09:03:14 pm »
I did speak to my therapist today regarding the potential need for a gender therapist. She said it’s an option but as I get closer to this appointment she will be planning on researching a ton on transitioning so she can aid me through things should I stick with her. That’s likely what I’ll do since I like her and we have a pretty good relationship.

Someone mentioned here about building a support system. That’s something I need to work on since I don’t know how much of my social circle will be around as I come out.

Thanks for all the well wishes here, you girls have been great to me so far.

Erika

Offline sarahc

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Re: Just made my first step towards transition
« Reply #11 on: March 24, 2020, 09:53:16 pm »
Regarding support system...

I don’t know about your personal situation, but it is helpful to have at least 2-3 friends or family members who will be supportive that you can come out to sooner rather than later. For many people, this may not possible. But if it is possible, consider it. You don’t need to come out to a lot of people at the beginning - just a couple of people that you can trust. It’s a good topic to discuss with your therapist in the near term.

Sarah
----
48 years young.
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.phpVF/topic,244009.0.html)
VFS: September 2019; three-month report here
Full-time: April 2020
FFS: August 2020
SRS: January 2021

Offline ssjErika33

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Re: Just made my first step towards transition
« Reply #12 on: March 25, 2020, 03:24:16 pm »
Regarding support system...

I don’t know about your personal situation, but it is helpful to have at least 2-3 friends or family members who will be supportive that you can come out to sooner rather than later. For many people, this may not possible. But if it is possible, consider it. You don’t need to come out to a lot of people at the beginning - just a couple of people that you can trust. It’s a good topic to discuss with your therapist in the near term.

Sarah

I have begun the coming out process a little bit. I told my friend’s wife a couple years ago, recently told my best friend and have talked to a couple people in my group therapy. I’m still working on making myself come out in group and bringing my mom and aunt into my individual sessions to come out.

Just a lot of fear right now about losing everyone, which I will inevitably lose some. But I just need to remember that I will lose some but I will gain others in the process.

Erika

Offline RandiL

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Re: Just made my first step towards transition
« Reply #13 on: March 25, 2020, 05:37:29 pm »
Many here have experienced little loss of friends as they came out. Family can be different as they have a longer term relationship with you, and perhaps more is at stake in their eyes. I have had good experiences myself. Good luck, I hope it goes well for you!

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Offline ssjErika33

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Re: Just made my first step towards transition
« Reply #14 on: April 21, 2020, 05:18:39 pm »
So had a rough one today. I’m currently in intensive outpatient therapy, which is an individual therapy session and 4 group sessions a week. I came about to my therapist in February but have not been able to bring myself to do it in group. Well I didn’t talk today in group and one of my peers called me out on it. So we talked in my individual session and she gave me an ultimatum to come out in group or to be kicked out of group sessions for not talking. I’m just feeling really frustrated and scared right now as before I was told I can do it in my own time when I’m ready but now I feel like I’m being forced to. Not sure what I’m going to do.

Erika

Offline Jenny_Oh

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Re: Just made my first step towards transition
« Reply #15 on: April 22, 2020, 04:45:38 am »
So had a rough one today. I’m currently in intensive outpatient therapy, which is an individual therapy session and 4 group sessions a week. I came about to my therapist in February but have not been able to bring myself to do it in group. Well I didn’t talk today in group and one of my peers called me out on it. So we talked in my individual session and she gave me an ultimatum to come out in group or to be kicked out of group sessions for not talking. I’m just feeling really frustrated and scared right now as before I was told I can do it in my own time when I’m ready but now I feel like I’m being forced to. Not sure what I’m going to do.

Erika

Yeah, that's difficult because the role of the therapist is to provide a safe-space in which you can be yourself. From that point of view group clearly isn't working for you, so maybe it would be best to take a break until you feel more comfortable in your own skin.

Offline Battle Goddess

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Re: Just made my first step towards transition
« Reply #16 on: April 22, 2020, 09:13:39 am »
...She gave me an ultimatum to come out in group or to be kicked out of group sessions for not talking. I’m just feeling really frustrated and scared right now as before I was told I can do it in my own time when I’m ready but now I feel like I’m being forced to. Not sure what I’m going to do.

Erika

That's why IOP is both great and also totally awful at the same time. You get tons of private tdoc time, and you get to sit in a protected environment and practice expressing yourself to other people. All the same, you're doing it on a hypercompressed timeline and are expected to make far more progress than you're necessarily ready for.

Welp. It's a bear.

I know what my reaction would have been if my tdoc gave me an ultimatum, but that's not relevant here. Rather, please let me share my IOP experiences. 

My experience with IOPs is that you should feel okay bringing up vital things in group because it's not what you say so much as that you say something personal and powerful. Leads to a more meaningful personal experience and deeper learning and sharing among all.

It wasn't always very comfortable for me to share, and my sharings haven't always been the most comfortable for others to hear at first, but the discussion was always worth it.

And no offense, but the cat's out of the bag, the elephant's in the room, and there's no more monkeying around to be done. You're out as far as the group is concerned. It'd kill me if someone had gone and outed me, but by this point, it's done. Might as well go ahead and share. Uncomfortable? No doubt. Vital practice? Undoubtedly.

Good luck.
"It's not really a choice. Because we're not choosing to transition...we're choosing to be happy." -- SarahC

"Freedom comes at a high price. But I have paid that price, and I am free." -- Muhammad Ali

"Have a gentle manner ❤️" -- Chrissy Ryan
"Working on it" -- Battle Goddess


Introductory Post: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,242617.msg2196235.html

Whiny HRT and Transition Blog: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,244163.msg2217618.html

Spironolactone January 10 2019
Divigel January 20 2019
Estradiol Valerate March 14 2019

Offline MikaelaA

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Re: Just made my first step towards transition
« Reply #17 on: April 22, 2020, 11:43:22 am »
So had a rough one today. I’m currently in intensive outpatient therapy, which is an individual therapy session and 4 group sessions a week. I came about to my therapist in February but have not been able to bring myself to do it in group. Well I didn’t talk today in group and one of my peers called me out on it. So we talked in my individual session and she gave me an ultimatum to come out in group or to be kicked out of group sessions for not talking. I’m just feeling really frustrated and scared right now as before I was told I can do it in my own time when I’m ready but now I feel like I’m being forced to. Not sure what I’m going to do.

Erika

Hi Erika,  I don't particularly like group sessions for myself.  The more people there are in the group the more likely you will get a judgmental person or two.  My personal opinion is, if you feel like some people are not being supportive of you in your support group, I think in the long run that particular group will not be good for you and your overall progress in your transition.  I'm sure there are other groups that may be a better fit for you.  You need to figure out what's best for you.

Hugs,
Michelle
Finally discovered the real ME: September 5, 2019
Started HRT: September 20, 2019
Out to my wife: October 25, 2019
Out to my closest friends and family: February 9, 2020
Out at work: July 31, 2020
1 year on HRT: September 20, 2020
Legal name change: September 29, 2020
Covid vaccinated: May 15, 2021

Offline ssjErika33

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Re: Just made my first step towards transition
« Reply #18 on: July 05, 2020, 09:25:22 pm »
Guess I can sort of turn this into some form of update/timeline thread lol

My time at iop will be ending relatively soon so I’m working on finding a gender therapist. My current therapist gave me one to contact so I’m looking into that.

On the doctor front, seems that the July/August timeline was to set up an appointment. So looks like I’ll have more waiting to do  :(

Lastly, I’ve been finding a bit of time to experiment with myself during the rare times no one is home. We are pretty cramped here at my family’s house to we get creative with space. A family member keeps clothes in the bathroom so I found time to put on a dress, bra, and put some accessories in my hair. I even finally got the courage to look at myself in the mirror in girl mode, it made me smile pretty big lol. A couple more months until I get my own places so I’ll finally be able to experiment more with clothes, makeup, hair and nails. Plan is to strictly be in girl mode when I’m at home.

Thanks for being here and listening
Erika

Offline Battle Goddess

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Re: Just made my first step towards transition
« Reply #19 on: July 05, 2020, 09:28:44 pm »
Nice! Sounds like you're doing well.
"It's not really a choice. Because we're not choosing to transition...we're choosing to be happy." -- SarahC

"Freedom comes at a high price. But I have paid that price, and I am free." -- Muhammad Ali

"Have a gentle manner ❤️" -- Chrissy Ryan
"Working on it" -- Battle Goddess


Introductory Post: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,242617.msg2196235.html

Whiny HRT and Transition Blog: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,244163.msg2217618.html

Spironolactone January 10 2019
Divigel January 20 2019
Estradiol Valerate March 14 2019

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