Author Topic: Stasis  (Read 1030 times)

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Offline JulieAnne

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« on: April 02, 2020, 10:09:33 am »
1. A period or state of inactivity or equilibrium
2. Civil strife.

This is what came up when I googled “stasis” this morning.   It is strange to me how I am affected by this pandemic.  I am effectively idled.  I have the gift of living in a place that is relatively quiet and empty, so I am able to walk for a period of time in solitude every day, but other than that  I’m getting very little done.  It isn’t that there are not things to do, and it isn’t that I have competing activities on my calendar, rather it is mental lethargy that simply is dominating my capacity for action.  To be truthful, I just don’t want to do very much.  I am mentally static, in stasis - and this is not where I want to get stuck.  This is one of those times when being a transgender woman is overwhelmed by my reaction to that which is externally affecting me.  It feels somehow strange and wrong.

I have moments of clarity and periods of activity, but these are scattered grains of sand in a desert of indolence.  It is about 6:30 in the morning and I have been awake for hours, since shortly after three in fact.  I’ve read the news, noted the increasing toll of human suffering, checked to see if the case load has reached my rural county yet, and as the daylight slowly grows noted that the snow level is still almost within walking distance.  I will write my little essay, shower and go for my daily hike.  Then it will be nearly noon and I must again choose, or not choose what to do.  There is paint to be scraped and cleaning to be done.  I have music to practice and a novel to work on.  I could bake a pan of cinnamon rolls and take them to the volunteers who are preparing Port Angeles for what may be coming.  Yes there are things to do, but I don’t really want to do any of them.

Anomie is a descriptive word that I became familiar with in post graduate study many years ago.    This was presented in the sociological context of the disintegration of social norms and guidance among young adults.  It seems that it is also descriptive of my state and the state of many people with whom I am in contact.  All that is understood, all that is normative of life is turned upside down and lethargy is endemic to thought and action.  Stasis is the result – I simply do not wish to be effective.  I would rather fitfully doze, wondering if the Sword of Damocles will strike today, or perhaps wait until tomorrow.  Trapped in the anxiousness of limbo.  Unable to take action that somehow seems ultimately futile.  I am resigned to indifference and this is not pleasing to me, but it is increasingly difficult to talk or think my way out of it.

So I’ll set my sights on lesser things and let my body lead my mind out of paralysis.  I will take my estrogen, straighten my smile and carry on. Now is when a couple of cords of wood to split would be a most welcome sight.

Peace to you during this time of challenge.

Offline Northern Star Girl

  • Previously Alaskan Danielle, Aspiring Person
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Re: Stasis
« Reply #1 on: April 02, 2020, 12:22:23 pm »
Dear Julie:
Thank you for sharing and posting your thoughts this morning regarding our time of "Stasis" that you and many of us are enduing in these difficult times. 

While this is certainly a difficult financial time for many, employees of closed businesses have the fallback of unemployment insurance benefits for a time but there are those small businesses and self-employed that will have much difficulty and lose everything... by government order their business are closed in most states and locations and some will never recover and reopen.   My heart goes out to them.... they took a risk, invested everything, money, time, etc....  for the dream of having their own business.  I pray that they will find a way to get through this.

Please try to stay positive throughout this difficult time we are all facing...
I have a thread that may help you to see the brighter side of life.  If you have the time and the motivation please go to the following LINK and do some reading from the beginning....
       Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Again Julie, thank you for sharing and posting.

HUGS,  and best wishes,
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 42