Author Topic: The More I Have To Do “Male” ...  (Read 1371 times)

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Offline Gabrielageo

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Re: The More I Have To Do “Male” ...
« Reply #20 on: June 25, 2020, 06:25:50 pm »
as you said, it´s more about who´s more apt to do a specific thing, I really don´t feel uncomfortable doing a "manly" task because I don´t see them as male-female duties; and on top of that, at my age, I can always get somebody else to do stuff for me, last summer I was really lost at a home depot, this really butch girl came up to help me, I ended up calling her to do some repairs at our building, a "female" doing handywork for a "male"

I get this, it's the 'expectation' that you will do it not the ability to do it. That expectation is gendered from the person doing the expecting. It cuts right to the heart of us with GD and shoves 'you're different to me' in our faces when it is asked of us.
Recently, my wife's car tyre had lost some air - She asked me twice to pump it up. I now have longish, painted nails and to be honest, it is an easy job. So the next time she asked I asked 'why do you need me to do it?' - it perplexed her for a bit and she came back with 'you've always done it?' -  I showed her my nails and she decided she could do it.

However, she plugged the pump into the car, attached the hose and turned it on. It started pumping for a little while, until she drained the battery completely (she forgot to start the engine!). So, I get the GD trigger but then also there is life experiences that we have and at some things it simply makes sense to do them - and that is not gendered just the best 'person' for the job.

Offline Ellie_Arroway

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Re: The More I Have To Do “Male” ...
« Reply #21 on: July 02, 2020, 02:23:44 pm »
I'm single and not very actively looking up new relationship, I've noticed that when women starts to talk about what kind of man they want to have, quite many of them want to have a man who can "repair things or do some fixing".

It's make me sad as I'm not searching a woman who can clean, make meal for me.. If you know what I mean  :(
It's frustrating thing to notice that it is assumed that of course men can do it and is willing to do it because he is man.
Where is our male equal rights to resist those assumptions and generalization?

Yeah. Feminism goes both ways. I've often thought the word should be "equalism".
Started seriously questioning: 24 Aug 2019
Referred to GIC: 23 Sep 2019
Full-time female presentation since: 21 Oct 2019, unbroken since 12 Dec 2019
Official name change by deed poll: 11 Nov 2019
HRT: "kind of" started 15 Jul 2020
Most of my story is in the Just another mtf tale thread!
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Offline Denise K

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Re: The More I Have To Do “Male” ...
« Reply #22 on: August 02, 2020, 10:36:14 pm »
Personally I have never felt dysphoric doing male stuff. In the contrary it had me felt better even, because it was proof that I am a strong, independent and handy woman who can take care of everything herself.

Offline ramilove

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Re: The More I Have To Do “Male” ...
« Reply #23 on: August 15, 2020, 10:36:48 am »
Nancy
When doing dirty traditional mens work I think of myself as a tom girl, a Jill of all trades, that girl that insists she can do anything a man can do and better.  Since starting on hormones, I find that I have to give extra care to wear the correct clothing to protect my softer skin. I do experience dysphoria when donning this ugly clunky clothing over my panty and cami. I have found work gloves in pink.
Rami
Electrolysis 3/4/2020
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Offline toniwest

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Re: The More I Have To Do “Male” ...
« Reply #24 on: September 08, 2020, 05:59:10 am »
I love doing DIY projects. Funny thing is i just realized this morning I burned holes in my favorite yoga paints welding on a truck.

Offline Birdie on a Wire

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Re: The More I Have To Do “Male” ...
« Reply #25 on: September 09, 2020, 09:23:33 am »
“....What I was trying to describe was a dysphoria trigger being activated by my own internalized male role expectations.”

I think this statement here sums up really well the struggle not only trans people have with transitioning but society as a whole.

There has been millennia of societal evolution that has settled into place that says gender is defined by roles, by anatomy, by secondary anatomical sex characteristics, by what we wear, by mannerisms, by who we couple with and it is very difficult for we as humans to break from those ideas.

I’m you’re struggling with this Nancy. I know I do too. Internalized transphobia is a paradox isn’t it.

Offline CaelaNotKayla

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Re: The More I Have To Do “Male” ...
« Reply #26 on: September 09, 2020, 02:20:08 pm »
I had to fix my mom's garage door a couple of weeks ago on very short notice, and it felt good to be able to help my mom- so I wouldn't say the activity itself was dysphoric but it just felt wrong to have grease all over my freshly painted nails, and I was second guessing every move I was making so that I wouldn't get grease on one of my favorite girly tees.

Caela
My Blog Thread - The Chronicles of Caela

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