Author Topic: Great so I am Transitioning, Now What?  (Read 10934 times)

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Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: Great so I am Transitioning, Now What?
« Reply #20 on: May 01, 2020, 09:36:55 am »
@Emma1017  @CynthiaAnn  @Oldandcreaky

I just want to re-post and quote the recent comment authored by @ChrissyRyan ...
What she said is so true.   I trust that all that are transitioning can see the truth in what she said.   
I can personally testify to the truth in her statements....   
THANK YOU for sharing from your heart, Chrissy.

HUGS,
Danielle


Gender dysphoria can be such a strong force.
The definitive way to banish it is to complete transitioning.

It would be great if everyone was accepting, but that will not be the case.
Of course, there are less impactful things that are not accepted by all too.

If we could all come across as a woman in all ways, to the extent that no one
would think that we were born male, that would be ideal.

Regardless of their perceptions, we are women.

Chrissy

***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
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Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: Great so I am Transitioning, Now What?
« Reply #21 on: May 01, 2020, 09:49:18 am »
@Emma1017  @CynthiaAnn  @Oldandcreaky

I just want to re-post and quote the recent comment authored by @ChrissyRyan ...
What she said is so true.   I trust that all that are transitioning can see the truth in what she said.   
I can personally testify to the truth in her statements....   
THANK YOU for sharing from your heart, Chrissy.

HUGS,
Danielle



Thank you @Northern Star Girl

I wish all of you long and wonderful lives ahead.   :)

You are so sweet.

Hugs,

Chrissy

                                                                                                                                 [22000]
Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline Emma1017

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Re: Great so I am Transitioning, Now What?
« Reply #22 on: May 01, 2020, 10:01:37 am »
OK my body is backing up what Chrissy said.

One of the things that just came up in my video conference with my endocrinologist today was that she noticed a substantial change in my chest size.  She said that my size was unique in her experience and that my body has obviously taken well to the hormones.

I haven't measured my chest since January.  I grew another inch.  I am now 40D! 

I guess my body is telling me that there is no way I am not transition :).

This is going to be a tough summer.......I am going to have to invest in a binder shirt.

The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Offline Oldandcreaky

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Re: Great so I am Transitioning, Now What?
« Reply #23 on: May 01, 2020, 11:18:53 am »
40D? Yowza!

I lived in Boston with a girl who was D-sized. She'd wear push-up bras and tight bottoms and attract soooo much attention.

Men would yell at her as they passed in cars. I didn't envy her.

Offline Emma1017

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Re: Great so I am Transitioning, Now What?
« Reply #24 on: May 01, 2020, 11:45:50 am »
I know that a male frame distorts bra measurements so technically my band is 40 and my bust measures 44 and it comes up 40D.  It doesn't look that big to me but I am hiding my chest under t shirts.

There is no way I can go backwards at this point. :)
The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: Great so I am Transitioning, Now What?
« Reply #25 on: May 01, 2020, 11:50:35 am »
I know that a male frame distorts bra measurements so technically my band is 40 and my bust measures 44 and it comes up 40D.  It doesn't look that big to me but I am hiding my chest under t shirts.

There is no way I can go backwards at this point. :)


That is a really nice size. I would not want to hide them.
But I understand that we should do so at times.

Chrissy
Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline Ellie_Arroway

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Re: Great so I am Transitioning, Now What?
« Reply #26 on: May 01, 2020, 12:00:21 pm »
40D? Yowza!

I lived in Boston with a girl who was D-sized. She'd wear push-up bras and tight bottoms and attract soooo much attention.

Men would yell at her as they passed in cars. I didn't envy her.

If she was wearing push-up bras...

I assume she knew what she was doing.

I wouldn't want that sort of attention either. I'm with you.
Started seriously questioning: 24 Aug 2019
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Most of my story is in the Just another mtf tale thread!
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Offline Emma1017

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Re: Great so I am Transitioning, Now What?
« Reply #27 on: May 01, 2020, 12:20:31 pm »
Fortunately I really don't look that big and at least that's one less operation I need to worry about.
The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Offline Jenny_Oh

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Re: Great so I am Transitioning, Now What?
« Reply #28 on: May 01, 2020, 01:35:26 pm »



If we could all come across as a woman in all ways, to the extent that no one
would think that we were born male, that would be ideal.

Regardless of their perceptions, we are women.

Given that's not possible (some things can never be changed), instead of creating an exclusionary barrier called 'passing' (and yet another binary ???), perhaps a more realistic ideal would be for society to accepted individuals for who they are, no matter their appearance or gender-performance.

Hugs to you all,
Jennifer

Offline randim

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Re: Great so I am Transitioning, Now What?
« Reply #29 on: May 01, 2020, 02:08:43 pm »

Given that's not possible (some things can never be changed), instead of creating an exclusionary barrier called 'passing' (and yet another binary ???), perhaps a more realistic ideal would be for society to accepted individuals for who they are, no matter their appearance or gender-performance.

Hugs to you all,
Jennifer

That would indeed be a better world.  I do have to add that in my limited experience being out and about in various degrees of gender non-conformity, most people do not really give a hoot beyond some stares. That doesn't solve the issue of gender-segregated public spaces, but generally speaking, you can wear whatever you want and do whatever you want and the public basically shrugs.  Which is a good thing, because passing is not in the cards for me.

Offline Oldandcreaky

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Re: Great so I am Transitioning, Now What?
« Reply #30 on: May 01, 2020, 03:27:29 pm »
I know that a male frame distorts bra measurements so technically my band is 40 and my bust measures 44 and it comes up 40D.  It doesn't look that big to me but I am hiding my chest under t shirts.

There is no way I can go backwards at this point. :)

Amen to that! Operations come with lingering costs and not just costs to our portfolios. For example, I had forehead FFS and the surgeon tugged my scalp forward a half centimeter or so. That was about ten years ago, but my nerves are still rejuvenating, which I know because the tugged part of my scalp has itched farther and farther forward over the years as sensation returns. It's a small thing in the scheme of things, but I'm a sensual person. I hated having a dead zone.

Be grateful you don't have a true D. Eventually they go from perkular to pendular.

Offline KimOct

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Re: Great so I am Transitioning, Now What?
« Reply #31 on: May 02, 2020, 12:58:14 am »
Hi Emma I am always lurking.  :o ;D   I love your positive attitude.  Really.  But I am going to throw water on the party anyway.  Because as you know I try to be the voice of reality.

I believe you that you have come to the decision to transition.  However in my mind the proof is in the pudding.  When you have had the difficult - very difficult - conversation with your wife and if you remain steadfast in your decision come what may then I will know it is happening.

That is not a dare, it is not a push, and it is not even me saying that is what you should do.  As you know I have always supported you to transition or not transition.  All I advocate is progress on whatever path will lead you to the happiest place.

Once that conversation and decisions have been made then and only then will you have moved forward down a path.  As always I wish you nothing but happiness and strength.

Your Friend
Kim
The first transphobe you have to conquer is yourself

Offline Emma1017

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Re: Great so I am Transitioning, Now What?
« Reply #32 on: May 02, 2020, 08:25:46 am »
Kim you have every reason do have doubts.  You have been my "Jiminy Cricket" for most of my threads.  I respect your advice and your opinion.

The virus has changed my timing but I am still transitioning.  My wife has said she can't be married to a woman, yet she is still here.  We have had many conversations and she is still here.  As I begin to accept my reality, she is as well but because of the virus, if I force the decision down her throat today, we are still in lock down.  Where would I go?  I will make the final decision but at a time where I have a choice to move out if she wants that.  I respect her pain.

I have a GCS consultation appointment in September and a deposit for the electrologist in Chicago, so I know what path I am on.  Massive doubts exist as does the question "can I suck it up instead?" but reality is a hard argument to fight for too long.

Thank you as always for your thoughtful concerns. 

They always mean a lot from a very good friend,


Emma

                                                 
The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Offline madeleine

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Re: Great so I am Transitioning, Now What?
« Reply #33 on: May 02, 2020, 09:45:47 am »
I know that a male frame distorts bra measurements so technically my band is 40 and my bust measures 44 and it comes up 40D.  It doesn't look that big to me but I am hiding my chest under t shirts.

There is no way I can go backwards at this point. :)

First, I think that is great.  Is it appropriate to say congrats?   ??? 
NGL, I would be a little nervous if it was me because I'm not out to the whole world yet.  BUT, I would also be so excited and happy!  Sometimes in bed, I imagine what it would feel like to have breasts and to feel them moving a little as I move around.  To actually have them... <swoon>

Anyway, I guess you should listen to your body. ;)

Offline Emma1017

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Re: Great so I am Transitioning, Now What?
« Reply #34 on: May 02, 2020, 11:06:47 am »
Madeleine I will absolutely accept your congratulations.  I am excited....and scared.  I could have stopped the process multiple times and I did try four times.  The fact that I didn't speaks volumes.  Neither my wife nor I can ignore the obvious.

This cartoon below captures my private moments:

                           
The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Offline RandyL

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Re: Great so I am Transitioning, Now What?
« Reply #35 on: May 02, 2020, 11:55:32 am »
Madeleine I will absolutely accept your congratulations.  I am excited....and scared.  I could have stopped the process multiple times and I did try four times.  The fact that I didn't speaks volumes.  Neither my wife nor I can ignore the obvious.

This cartoon below captures my private moments:

                           
Lol that is me exactly! I'm not even on HRT, but I have about a 1.5" difference. I love to wear clothes that emphasize my "bust" but I have to keep sucking in my gut . A little bit of aching going on in there sometimes which I love to feel.

I'm glad your changes are, in a way, greasing the skids for your eventual conversation. Nothing like keeping the topic "front and center" so to speak

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Casting about for my best path forward...

Offline KimOct

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Re: Great so I am Transitioning, Now What?
« Reply #36 on: May 02, 2020, 04:37:33 pm »
Kim you have every reason do have doubts.  You have been my "Jiminy Cricket" for most of my threads.  I respect your advice and your opinion.

The virus has changed my timing but I am still transitioning.  My wife has said she can't be married to a woman, yet she is still here.  We have had many conversations and she is still here.  As I begin to accept my reality, she is as well but because of the virus, if I force the decision down her throat today, we are still in lock down.  Where would I go?  I will make the final decision but at a time where I have a choice to move out if she wants that.  I respect her pain.

I have a GCS consultation appointment in September and a deposit for the electrologist in Chicago, so I know what path I am on.  Massive doubts exist as does the question "can I suck it up instead?" but reality is a hard argument to fight for too long.

Thank you as always for your thoughtful concerns. 

They always mean a lot from a very good friend,


Emma

                                                 

I am so glad you take my opinions as they are intended.  We have been at this for too long for you to not know I only want the best for you.  Even if I am a pain in the ass.  ;D

Tell me when you are going to Chicago.  You will love Irina she is such a sweetheart and will make a tough day a bit easier.  She is talented and compassionate.   

As for Zukowski when he gives you the shots just look away and don't engage. LOL You will be better off.  Actually he can be charming in small doses I just hate that deep down he is a misogynist.   The more you know about him the more obvious it is.

Oh and while you are there..... get some 'real' pizza for godsakes.   :D  Sorry couldn't help myself.  I am jonesing for Lou Malanati's or Pizzeria Due. 
The first transphobe you have to conquer is yourself

Offline Emma1017

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Re: Great so I am Transitioning, Now What?
« Reply #37 on: May 02, 2020, 05:55:03 pm »
They have pizza in Chicago??? ???.......on yeah Pizza Hut ;D
The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Offline Emma1017

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Re: Great so I am Transitioning, Now What?
« Reply #38 on: May 03, 2020, 05:01:15 pm »
I wrote this 6 months ago and I want to include it in this thread.  I makes me happy to read it and share:

                                                     My Transgender Acceptance

                                       

An epiphany is an “Aha!” moment when you are suddenly struck with a life-changing realization which changes the rest of your life.

I just had mine last week.

If you have read my writings in calendar order you would get a sense of the deep emotional process that I have been going through since discovering that I was transgender two years ago at age 62.

This experience shattered one of my worlds and finally explained the other one that was hidden. Like Indiana Jones discovering the Holy Grail, in this process I discovered such a deeply buried truth that it took me two years of heavy therapy and scathing self-examination to first find and then accept as my truth.

Not only was I transgender but my natural female gender wired in utero and my male up-bringing is who I am.

And that I am ok.

My acceptance only occurred this past Tuesday.

I can’t explain what made Tuesday the “DAY” but suddenly everything in my heart, mind and soul just clicked and I actually heard the “Click”. I felt indisputable alignment. Suddenly 2 +2 equaled 4 and I was suddenly very happy.
And it was a different kind of happiness. It felt profound and soul deep. I felt the happiness in my toes.

It still astounds me.

Because I have been female raised male all my life, I have been drawing on elements of both all my life without knowing it. I believe that the tremendous chaos and upheaval caused by the explosion of gender dysphoria two years ago, created the need to sort out what was natural for me versus what I was trained to do.

The classic battle of “nurture vs nature”.

My male upbringing has had years of absorption and became a “second nature” for me. The male training created walls so deep and thick that it shut out the natural female self.

Then Emma executed a prison break.

Over the last two years I needed to separate and identify who Emma was. I needed to understand where she came from. I needed to understand what she needed and I need to understand that she was not a threat to who I was.

She is simply me.

I finally feel like, well, me. Completely and totally me. Not two genders trapped in one body but just one person and I liked who I saw.

I feel like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, when, at the end of their journey, she was asked what did she learn. I know this sounds silly but, like Dorothy, I learned the simplest of truths, I learned that I was just one person and that it was OK to share my life with a wonderful blend of both my natural female sense and my male upbringing. They were playing just fine together.

They are all me and make me who I am and who I have been all along.

I like what I see.

I wish you the same happiness.


The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: Great so I am Transitioning, Now What?
« Reply #39 on: May 03, 2020, 05:03:52 pm »
Girl, you are going to make it.

Consider listening to the theme song music to the Mary Tyler Moore Show:

Love is all around.


Hugs,

Chrissy
Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

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