Author Topic: What do you do when a piece of you is stolen?  (Read 340 times)

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Offline MelissaAnn

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What do you do when a piece of you is stolen?
« on: May 29, 2020, 03:42:22 pm »
Trigger warning...

Yesterday I was speaking with one of my girlfriends. She was telling me that her and her boyfriend are trying to have a baby. Since talking with her I have been fluctuating between tears of joy for her and tears of sadness for myself. I want a baby so badly it hurts physically.

Let me explain. I was born a hermaphrodite or the term nowadays is intersex. I was born with ovaries Fallopian tubes uterus and a partially formed vagina. But I also had the male bits to, but my father didn't want girls so they removed all the female parts. This has been a lifelong struggle for me. Especially knowing that I could have possibly had babies of my own. Now that I've transitioned back to who I should have been. The hardest part for me is my younger girlfriends are having babies and I just can't help feeling jealous, sad, and angry! I am so angry that my dad stole the opportunity from me.
I struggle with rectifying these feelings and emotions. I mean I'm extremely excited and happy for her yet so sad and angry for myself.

What do you do when a piece of you has been stolen?

Offline Gertrude

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Re: What do you do when a piece of you is stolen?
« Reply #1 on: May 29, 2020, 04:09:38 pm »
I would think it's a grieving process and hopefully you get to a place of acceptance. Have you ever addressed it with your father? Unfortunately, we aren't to a place or time really where we can rectify it. Maybe someday there will be science and medicine that can fix this.

Offline RandyL

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Re: What do you do when a piece of you is stolen?
« Reply #2 on: May 29, 2020, 06:22:58 pm »
I'm so sorry to hear that, @MelissaAnn. It is, was, an injustice done to you. But years ago the knowledge of how to handle intersex babies was so lacking. Not that everybody gets it right even today, but back then they thought they had to make a choice for the baby's sake rather than letting you grow up and decide for yourself. I hope you can find forgiveness and acceptance and be a wonderful friend, perhaps even a godmother for your friends children.

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Offline Rakel

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Re: What do you do when a piece of you is stolen?
« Reply #3 on: May 29, 2020, 11:10:05 pm »
What do you do when a piece of you has been stolen?

Adopt a child.

You can love a young person just as much as your own. Having or adopting a child is a 20 year commitment, but when there is love involved, the results are priceless.  :angel:



Offline Oldandcreaky

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Re: What do you do when a piece of you is stolen?
« Reply #4 on: May 30, 2020, 06:09:12 am »
Melissa, I read your post a couple days ago and was too saddened to immediately reply.

I hate what was done to you. I also wanted to be a mother and for years, I'd leave a room when a baby entered. My career was childcare and I was a foster mom too and now, after decades of caring for children, my craving for children of my own has abated. They take ever so much energy and where I once had it, I now care for stationary plants, which match my current energy level.

I have no advice for you beyond this. You were robbed. Life often isn't fair.

Offline Rachel

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Re: What do you do when a piece of you is stolen?
« Reply #5 on: May 30, 2020, 07:05:41 pm »
I am sorry for your loss.
MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.

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