Topic: Kinda scared I've missed an age deadline

[EllieP]

So, I'm very lucky to have supportive parents, when it comes to just about anything. They will always support my final decision, but like to play devil's advocate and argue the opposite of me, in order to make sure I see both sides and can make a rational decision. This of course means, when I talk about wanting to transition, they will bring up potential worries they have, since they want me to be happy, and want make sure I don't regret decisions. This includes things such as the hate, I will get from people for transitioning, the inability to have children, and potentially finding it harder to meet a partner etc. One thing that has really stuck with my however, is about my face/head shape. When I realised I was probably trans I was part way into puberty and at this point, I have a fairly masculine face and head shape, and small amounts of face hair. The reason I bring this up, was due to my mum mentioning that since I've gone through puberty, even if I transition, my face/head shape will always look somewhat masculine. This honestly kinda scares me as it feels like I've almost missed a deadline, and that I'll never truly look feminine. Now I'm probably over reacting and panicking a bit, but I really wanna see what other people think.

(Note, please don't misjudge my parents, both are big LGBTQ+ supporters, and are not by any means transphobic they just want me to choose wisely)

[JanePlain]

I would disagree. 

Facial surgery does some amazing stuff and HRT adds roundness (female) lookto your face.  Women who transition much later in life still can have a terrific transition but your youth will no doubt make a transition much easier to do.

Transphobic hate is an issue that troubles almost everyone.  If you intend to pull up stakes at some point you can be selective about who you come out to because its really not everyones business.  I only mention that because a friend of mine decided after having her surgery to move out of state and just be a woman not bring any attention to how she became one. 

Having children can be accomplished by banking sperm if your planning on mtf or eggs for ftm people.

Finding someone means you can't choose from the transphobics or haters but this is I think is a good thing.

[Northern Star Girl]

@EllieP
Dear Ellie:
Many members here on Susan's Place started their transition much later in life, many in their 50's, 60's, and even in thier 70's.   Like any endeavor involving our own unique genes and body makeup, the results can vary widely.   

I started my transition in my early-thirties, started HRT in March of 2015 and went Full-Time in December 2016.  I pass 100% of the time, operate my own woman-owned small business and and living happily as a woman fully accepted wherever I go....

.... contrary to the title of your thread "Kinda scared I've missed an age deadline" you should count yourself fortunate that you are starting so early in your life at 16 years old.

After you reach the threshold of 15 quality posts (not one-liners) you will be able to put up a profile/Avatar photo on your profile if you are so inclined and also be able to send private forums messages.   If you have any questions about those things please look over the informative LINKS that I provided for you earlier today in your Introduction posting on the Youth Introductions Forum.   
 
Here is a link to the Site Rules and Terms of Service so you may read them here.  Please be sure to look them over.

Thank you for sharing and posting and again Welcome To Susan's Place and the Forums.

Hugs and best wishes as you continue on in your journey.
Danielle
northernstargirl@susans.org

[Jessica_Rose]

The only deadline I'm aware of is that if you want to transition you should do it while you are still living. I didn't transition until my mid-50's, but I have not heard any rude comments in about two years. I have had a little facial surgery, but I think I look pretty good for an old lady. I recently posted some 'before and after' photos in my thread:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,233104.msg2369538.html#msg2369538

Transition can be rough for the first year or two, but I think the younger generation is typically much more accepting and supportive than my generation. Most of my friends know about my transition, but some of the newer ones probably have no idea. I prefer not telling my new friends on the chance they may react differently if they knew. For the most part, other women seem to be the most accepting, while some men can be a bit less so. Of those who know my past nearly every woman will greet me with a hug, but most long-time male friends only shake my hand. A few of the awesome ones hug me without hesitation.

Within a few days after I decided to transition, I looked in the mirror and thought to myself 'you are going to be one ugly woman', but that didn't stop me from transitioning. Have faith in yourself and in your friends, and don't let others decide your path -- only you know what is right for yourself.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[SadieBlake]

Not in the least. I saw in your intro post that you're 16, most of the effects of hormones guiding your development has yet to happen, especially, your bone structure is not yet fully set, so for instance if you start hrt before any more masculinization happens, you can expect growth of feminine hip structure and complete cessation of facia hair.

All you need to do right now is begin a hormone blocker to temporarily halt further advance of puberty. I would further advise that when you do begin hrt you can gauge first whether the mental effects seem positive to you. Now you are probably old enough to have experienced testosterone, so you know something about that. You get to compare & contrast before frank physical effects such as breast growth begin.

There's no easy transition, however an early start is a good place to be.

[Ellie_Arroway]

Dear Ellie,

As people have said, feminising facial surgery is an option if you do feel it necessary.

I started transitioning last year and I'm in my 40s. One thing I would like to say is that virtually everybody accepts me for who I am. I think that's partly because I'm a very confident person, and I deal with people unapologetically, just in the way anybody else would do.

I knew a lot of people would accept me, but I was surprised with the degree that people accepted me. Before starting to transition, you do not have the experience to know what it's like, and all I can tell you is that from my experience, I had a lot of fears that simply have not come to pass.

The only area in which I have experienced any sort of abuse at all is the internet, and even that has been very limited. I inhabit safe spaces that are well controlled which helps with this. When I'm streaming on Twitch, if somebody comes along in chat and starts calling me names, I give them one warning, and then I ban them. I run my own Discord server as well, and the same applies there.

I can't talk about other people's experience, and there are indications that some politicians are trying to make it harder for trans people. It's a valid concern, certainly, but it may not be as bad as you might expect.

Nice name, by the way; I think I'll use it myself! - E

[Devlyn]

The only deadline I'm aware of is that if you want to transition you should do it while you are still living. I didn't transition until my mid-50's, but I have not heard any rude comments in about two years. I have had a little facial surgery, but I think I look pretty good for an old lady. I recently posted some 'before and after' photos in my thread:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,233104.msg2369538.html#msg2369538

Transition can be rough for the first year or two, but I think the younger generation is typically much more accepting and supportive than my generation. Most of my friends know about my transition, but some of the newer ones probably have no idea. I prefer not telling my new friends on the chance they may react differently if they knew. For the most part, other women seem to be the most accepting, while some men can be a bit less so. Of those who know my past nearly every woman will greet me with a hug, but most long-time male friends only shake my hand. A few of the awesome ones hug me without hesitation.

Within a few days after I decided to transition, I looked in the mirror and thought to myself 'you are going to be one ugly woman', but that didn't stop me from transitioning. Have faith in yourself and in your friends, and don't let others decide your path -- only you know what is right for yourself.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

+1 for that.

[Rakel]

The only deadline I'm aware of is that if you want to transition you should do it while you are still living. I didn't transition until my mid-50's...

... and I did not transition until I was in my mid 60's, even though transition was a constant thought for over 50 years.

It is never too late.

[madeleine]

Hi Ellie P,

If you are 16 you are still golden!  IF this is the right move for you, then 16 is a great age for it.  I'm much older than you and there is no way I can undo all the changes testosterone has made to my body.  But even someone in their 20's can see some big changes!

You are not late!  As has been said above, it is really never to late (I hope not because I'm starting in my 50's!). People who set age deadlines may be thinking about times to make optimal changes physically.  But you are not on their timetable and you do not have to use their deadlines.  You are in charge here, not them.  (Whoever they are  )

[ashley7]

I, too, worry that the ship has sailed, but I wouldn't be happy not transitioning.

[madeleine]

Hi ashley7,

I'm sure many of us have felt the same way, I know I have.  But many of us have also moved forward with transitioning  anyway, and I one of those people too.  I don't know how old you are but I'm sure I'm older than you.  I've had more than one barrier and I've started HRT very recently.  It might not be "optimal" but this is all about you and your timeline.  Just something to think about.

By the way, you look great in your photo!