Community Conversation > Youth talk

Kinda scared I've missed an age deadline

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Dear Ellie,

As people have said, feminising facial surgery is an option if you do feel it necessary.

I started transitioning last year and I'm in my 40s. One thing I would like to say is that virtually everybody accepts me for who I am. I think that's partly because I'm a very confident person, and I deal with people unapologetically, just in the way anybody else would do.

I knew a lot of people would accept me, but I was surprised with the degree that people accepted me. Before starting to transition, you do not have the experience to know what it's like, and all I can tell you is that from my experience, I had a lot of fears that simply have not come to pass.

The only area in which I have experienced any sort of abuse at all is the internet, and even that has been very limited. I inhabit safe spaces that are well controlled which helps with this. When I'm streaming on Twitch, if somebody comes along in chat and starts calling me names, I give them one warning, and then I ban them. I run my own Discord server as well, and the same applies there.

I can't talk about other people's experience, and there are indications that some politicians are trying to make it harder for trans people. It's a valid concern, certainly, but it may not be as bad as you might expect.

Nice name, by the way; I think I'll use it myself! - E


--- Quote from: Jessica_Rose on June 05, 2020, 09:18:30 pm ---The only deadline I'm aware of is that if you want to transition you should do it while you are still living. I didn't transition until my mid-50's, but I have not heard any rude comments in about two years. I have had a little facial surgery, but I think I look pretty good for an old lady. I recently posted some 'before and after' photos in my thread:,233104.msg2369538.html#msg2369538

Transition can be rough for the first year or two, but I think the younger generation is typically much more accepting and supportive than my generation. Most of my friends know about my transition, but some of the newer ones probably have no idea. I prefer not telling my new friends on the chance they may react differently if they knew. For the most part, other women seem to be the most accepting, while some men can be a bit less so. Of those who know my past nearly every woman will greet me with a hug, but most long-time male friends only shake my hand. A few of the awesome ones hug me without hesitation.

Within a few days after I decided to transition, I looked in the mirror and thought to myself 'you are going to be one ugly woman', but that didn't stop me from transitioning. Have faith in yourself and in your friends, and don't let others decide your path -- only you know what is right for yourself.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

--- End quote ---

+1 for that. :)


--- Quote from: Jessica_Rose on June 05, 2020, 09:18:30 pm ---The only deadline I'm aware of is that if you want to transition you should do it while you are still living. I didn't transition until my mid-50's...

--- End quote ---

... and I did not transition until I was in my mid 60's, even though transition was a constant thought for over 50 years.

It is never too late.

Hi Ellie P,

If you are 16 you are still golden!  IF this is the right move for you, then 16 is a great age for it.  I'm much older than you and there is no way I can undo all the changes testosterone has made to my body.  But even someone in their 20's can see some big changes!

You are not late!  As has been said above, it is really never to late (I hope not because I'm starting in my 50's!). People who set age deadlines may be thinking about times to make optimal changes physically.  But you are not on their timetable and you do not have to use their deadlines.  You are in charge here, not them.  (Whoever they are  :P)

I, too, worry that the ship has sailed, but I wouldn't be happy not transitioning.


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