Author Topic: Losing my voice  (Read 767 times)

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Offline F_P_M

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Losing my voice
« on: June 07, 2020, 02:48:39 pm »
I've been on gel for 6 months now and my voice hasn't really dropped so much as i've lost the upper register. My range has narrowed considerably and i'm finding that more and more when I try to sing or to speak I lose my voice, no sound comes out. It's not a crack, I just flat out cannot make that sound.

Does this resolve as time goes on or do I have to just accept that I can't sing anymore? Because i'm sort of bummed out about it.

Offline Alanna1990

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Re: Losing my voice
« Reply #1 on: June 07, 2020, 04:12:18 pm »
you have to learn how to use a male voice, it doesn't just happen, I had the same happen to me but with my lower register, it was really hard to speak sometimes.

After you practice you'll learn how to develop and use the lower range of your voice, and of course you can still sing, but instead of going high you have to go low

Offline F_P_M

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Re: Losing my voice
« Reply #2 on: June 08, 2020, 04:55:35 am »
I already had a fairly deep voice to start with. But yeah, i'm finding the lack of range really hard. I never could sing overly high but now I can't even hit the same notes as MALE singers and it's kinda irksome.
I'm hoping it'll settle down but there's a part of me who's like... maybe you shouldn't have wished so many times to not have a voice at all because now you're getting that.
Because there have been so so many times in my life i've wished I flat out couldn't speak and now well, yeah... I got that wish. DAMN

Online Maid Marion

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Re: Losing my voice
« Reply #3 on: June 08, 2020, 08:27:12 am »
I also agree that you  need to re-train your voice.  Your mind thinks one thing and your muscles do another, because of the T.  No surprise, really, that is what T does.
 
I found the  retraining the mind body connection is best if  you can practice several times a day for short periods of time, say 15 minutes.
This is much more effective than one long session a day.  Occasional practice isn't going to do much, in my opinion.

Marion

Offline Ryuichi13

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Re: Losing my voice
« Reply #4 on: June 16, 2020, 12:08:40 am »
I too have lost my upper range, and I too had the actual loss of voice that you speak of.  When I first started T gel, my voice would crack something fierce, then it would sometimes simply go silent as well!  ??? 

I learned that I was much more successful going low than high when I sang.  And now, more than three and a half years later, my voice is once again deepening.   :o  I don't mind, since before I sounded like one of my brothers.  Now it seems that I'm actually developing my own voice, which thrills me to pieces!

I missed it, but when did you start T @F_P_M? Its about time, FINALLY!  And congrats!  :D  I haven't been on here much since its usually the women that post.  (No offense to you ladies, but I simply can't relate to a lot of what you tend to talk about.)

Ryuichi     
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Offline Confused1

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Re: Losing my voice
« Reply #5 on: June 16, 2020, 09:55:41 am »
I am AMAB and on an opposing path. I can tell you that at puberty my voice didn't automatically go deeper in 6 months. I think what you are experiencing is normal. Give it more time. You will get there!

Offline F_P_M

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Re: Losing my voice
« Reply #6 on: June 17, 2020, 06:09:18 am »
thanks everyone. I'll just keep on trucking, keep on trying to talk and not panic.

Sometimes I hear myself and I sound like my dad and it absolutely cracks me up.

To be fair I kinda disappeared for a while there.

It's been around 6 months since I started gel and the great news is that my pain levels are down from a 7-8 to a good 2 at worst!
how amazing is that?

No more migraines, haven't had one in 6 months. No cluster headaches either. No more chest pains or shooting pains down my arms. No more breast pain, substantially fewer cramps and certainly none that leave me doubled over unable to move. I haven't had any cold flushes or nausea, very few hot flushes (the hot flushes ALSO happen when i'm stressed so yeah.. what?) and my mood is incredible. No more breaking down for days over minor things, no more being unable to bounce back from adversity. I could even handle my creepy troll stalker who keeps tracking me down online and sending me hatemail when previously I would have been really crippled for weeks by one of their messages.

It's MAGIC is what it is.

Now that said, I was promised an increased sex drive and instead it's gone bye bye completely. I mean i'm not that devastated but it's still wierd. No agression or anger spikes that aren't totally justified, no increased sex drive, no increased eating either. Just nice sweet stability.



Offline harlan1951

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Re: Losing my voice
« Reply #7 on: June 19, 2020, 09:15:14 pm »
you have to learn how to use a male voice, it doesn't just happen, I had the same happen to me but with my lower register, it was really hard to speak sometimes.

After you practice you'll learn how to develop and use the lower range of your voice, and of course you can still sing, but instead of going high you have to go low

My voice is ALL OVER THE PLACE.  Most days I can't sing any more.  Used to have a nice singing voice but now I'm off tune.  Getting tune at a lower register must be learned.  I assumed it was automatic.  The other thing is I can still pop into my female voice and it doesn't sound chipmunky like when a cis male does that.  Maybe over time if my voice continues to lower then the 'head' voice won't work any more.  I'd love to keep them both!

Offline F_P_M

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Re: Losing my voice
« Reply #8 on: June 20, 2020, 05:25:42 pm »
Man I can't even shout, like.. I try to raise my voice and there's NO strength at all. I can't shout, yell, scream.. none of it.
It's bizarre. It's not that my voice cracks, it's that there's just no power behind it to get the appropriate volume.
It feels.. muted?


Offline Ellie_Arroway

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Re: Losing my voice
« Reply #9 on: June 21, 2020, 04:00:09 am »
Man I can't even shout, like.. I try to raise my voice and there's NO strength at all. I can't shout, yell, scream.. none of it.
It's bizarre. It's not that my voice cracks, it's that there's just no power behind it to get the appropriate volume.
It feels.. muted?

That doesn't sound right to me at all.

When I went through male puberty, I experienced none of that.
Started seriously questioning: 24 Aug 2019
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Offline F_P_M

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Re: Losing my voice
« Reply #10 on: June 22, 2020, 01:10:06 pm »
I'm worried I have vocal entrapment but it's not really something I can do much about as the UK system won't give me anything like speech therapy because they don't care.
I suppose losing the ability to speak properly is a small price to pay to be free of pain but it's still kinda disappointing. I mean, i'm on gel which is supposed to be slower, supposed to be gentler on the body so I dread to think how messed up i'd be on injections.

It might be temporary, it might not. There's really no way to know. As with all transition, it's a mystery ride in the dark.

still, I was hoping someone might have some suggestions for how to minimise the issue and get my vocal strength back. Not being able to shout is well.. not helpful

Offline Bimmer Guy

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Re: Losing my voice
« Reply #11 on: June 25, 2020, 11:42:20 pm »
The "cannot make a sound" does go away, yes.  you will also eventually be to project your voice.
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Offline Bimmer Guy

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Re: Losing my voice
« Reply #12 on: June 25, 2020, 11:43:24 pm »
I already had a fairly deep voice to start with. But yeah, i'm finding the lack of range really hard. I never could sing overly high but now I can't even hit the same notes as MALE singers and it's kinda irksome.
I'm hoping it'll settle down but there's a part of me who's like... maybe you shouldn't have wished so many times to not have a voice at all because now you're getting that.
Because there have been so so many times in my life i've wished I flat out couldn't speak and now well, yeah... I got that wish. DAMN

Totally normal.
Top Surgery: 10/10/13 (Garramone)
Testosterone: 9/9/14
Hysto: 10/1/15
Stage 1 Meta: 3/2/16 (including UL, Vaginectomy, Scrotoplasty), (Crane, CA)
Stage 2 Meta: 11/11/16 Testicular implants, phallus and scrotum lift, v-nectomy revision.  Additional: Chest revision (Crane, TX)
Fistula Repair 12/21/17 (UPenn Hospital,unsuccessful)
Fistula Repair 6/7/18 (Nikolavsky, successful)
Revision: 3/29/19 Monsplasty, Buried penis repair, scrotum lift (Santucci, Austin, TX) (Crane Center for Transgender Surgery)




Offline Confused1

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Re: Losing my voice
« Reply #13 on: June 26, 2020, 10:17:39 am »
I think Bimmer is correct. It takes time. I have a different problem with my voice. Without testosterone I get choked up from emotion very easily and can't talk. Hang in there!

Confused1

Offline Lexxi

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Re: Losing my voice
« Reply #14 on: June 27, 2020, 06:30:58 pm »
When I hit puberty I used to lose my voice all the time too. And I remember when I'd try to talk and nothing would come out. It was frustrating to say the least.

I also lost the ability to sing...but only for a short time (seems like it lasted a year maybe). But oh wow once I mastered my new voice it really caught people's attention. I could still hit some of the high notes until I was in my mid 20s, then that went away. But that was okay.

My voice is literally the only thing I ever liked about myself. I hated my body, I hated having bigger muscles, and body hair...but my voice...it was the bomb. I hope you end up liking your voice once you master it. A good training method is singing along with some of the older country singers. Those guys had some really deep voices. I'm thinking guys like Johnny Cash, Don Williams, and even Josh Turner.

Good luck with it!!
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Offline Ellie_Arroway

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Re: Losing my voice
« Reply #15 on: June 29, 2020, 04:49:47 pm »
I'm worried I have vocal entrapment but it's not really something I can do much about as the UK system won't give me anything like speech therapy because they don't care.

Have you looked into it?

I live in Cardiff, and because of that, I was able to self-refer for voice therapy on the NHS. I am still waiting for it, but I should get it far quicker than the wait for the gender identity service.

GPs were not aware that this was a possibility for me. I only found out through a local trans support group.
Started seriously questioning: 24 Aug 2019
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Offline F_P_M

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Re: Losing my voice
« Reply #16 on: July 01, 2020, 12:47:11 pm »
Sadly the NHS is pretty well.. <not allowed> about that kinda thing. I'm still having to argue with them about whether I deserve T, and i'm nearly out AGAIN and they're still dragging their stupid feet.
-_-

With the up to 3 year wait for the GIC I suspect anything else will be similarly awful and there's people in far greater need. I can live with having a weak voice, it won't put me in danger or anything, it's just a pity nobody forewarned me.

Offline Ellie_Arroway

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Re: Losing my voice
« Reply #17 on: July 02, 2020, 02:11:32 pm »
Sadly the NHS is pretty well.. <not allowed> about that kinda thing. I'm still having to argue with them about whether I deserve T, and i'm nearly out AGAIN and they're still dragging their stupid feet.

Have you looked into it?

It's not about whether you deserve medication. It's about whether the medication would help you be more healthy.
Started seriously questioning: 24 Aug 2019
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Official name change by deed poll: 11 Nov 2019
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Offline F_P_M

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Re: Losing my voice
« Reply #18 on: July 04, 2020, 06:08:51 pm »
Oh no, see here we have no right to medication. If the doctor says no, that's it. You have to either go sign up for a new doctor and hope they say yes (no guarentee, they'll probably say no as well) or try to argue and be shot down repeatedly.
it's quite depressing actually.

round.. er.. three? or four? of my "give me t damnit" quest starts soon and i'm not looking forward to it.

I suppose i've lived so much of my life having my health and wellbeing dictated to me by doctors, being ignored, dismissed and sent home with often little more than a patronising pat on the head that i'm pretty pessamistic about my chances accessing anything that's not deemed "life threatening".
I mean I spent over 20 years trying to get help for the crippling agonising pain I was in and just had painkillers thrown at me and got told over and over "there's nothing wrong, we can't find anything physically wrong" and the implication I must be lying or something.
Multiple doctors, so many specialists over so many years.. honestly it's left me really not great around doctors. I don't trust them, i don't like them, I am almost always certain they're out to screw me because that's what they've done over and over and over again. Given me hormones that have nearly killed me, ignored my pain well beyond any sort of reason and subjected me to hideously painful tests ( I was TOLD would be painless) that have done little more than traumatise me and found nothing useful.

Decades of being let down over and over again have left me pretty scarred and very dubious of medical professionals. I hate that my life is so beholden to them. It makes me quite stressed and miserable frankly but thus far, after over 20 years of trying everything, t is the ONLY thing that's actually eased the pain rather than made me sicker.

Sadly my case is so specifically unique to me that nobody will listen to me. My gender identity aside, I need access to this medication to be free of pain that was literally killing me. I used to spend most days in bed, barely functional. I wasn't living, I was just existing. I was in too much pain to live.
If that isn't enough for my gp to okay giving me the damn gel, they sure as hell aren't gonna agree to something as frivilous as speech therapy.

It sucks but, that's my life you know?

I don't think i've ever had to NOT argue with a doctor. I don't fit the standard pattern of anything and so they don't wanna know.

Offline Ellie_Arroway

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Re: Losing my voice
« Reply #19 on: July 05, 2020, 05:04:40 am »
Hi, I'm also an NHS user (NHS Wales).

I have sometimes had to do my own research to find out what was the cause of issues with my health, and that has included seeing another GP when the first disagreed with me. (I have asthma. I wasn't diagnosed with it until I bought a peak flow meter and started taking my own measurements.)

A GP told me that I would have to wait to be seen by the gender identity service before I could get voice therapy. This information was wrong. I found that out, and I self-referred for voice therapy as soon as I knew. Fortunately I only lost a couple of months through this, but I will of course face a similar wait as you to be seen by the gender identity service.

You're right about medication, of course. And doctors are human and do make mistakes, unfortunately.
Started seriously questioning: 24 Aug 2019
Referred to GIC: 23 Sep 2019
Full-time female presentation since: 21 Oct 2019, unbroken since 12 Dec 2019
Official name change by deed poll: 11 Nov 2019
HRT: "kind of" started 15 Jul 2020
Most of my story is in the Just another mtf tale thread!
Twitch streamer MusicEllie

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