Author Topic: Feeling defeated  (Read 825 times)

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Offline Magnolia88

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Feeling defeated
« on: June 13, 2020, 04:39:16 am »
As some of you may remember, I recently posted about how happy I was to finally be in a place in my life when I could begin my transition after years and years of being stuck in the wrong body. I was in the process of looking for therapists when I found out Trump just legalized discrimination against trans people again. Living in a red state makes it that much more likely I’ll be denied trans care and even if I’m not, I would likely have to pay for everything out of pocket. It’s starting to feel like this dream will never come true for me and I should try to find a way to be happy as I am now or worse, contemplate an end to my misery. It’s so unfair to live a life of never getting what you want. I feel like my life is one disappointment after another. I’m not sure how much longer I can take it. The worst part is I’m not even surprised. I should have expected something to go wrong, it always does. It’s like as soon as I allow myself to be happy, something happens to take it all away. Sorry to be such a Debbie downer, but I’m sick and tired of being taunted with the possibility of a happy life just for it all to be ripped away right as I go to grab it.

Offline Rakel

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Re: Feeling defeated
« Reply #1 on: June 13, 2020, 05:13:22 am »
Dear Magnolia88,

It certainly seems that the political winds are turning against us, but all is not lost. We do have allies in important places. The American Medical Association does not support this decision by the current administration. This just means that it is very important for people like us to be heard and do all we can to influence public policy in our favor.

Be sure to register to vote and support the candidates of your choice.





_______________________________________________________________

Retired Pharmacist with over 40 years experience in Hospital and Retail Pharmacies.
I still keep my professional licence active and in good standing.


Offline Maid Marion

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Re: Feeling defeated
« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2020, 07:24:43 am »
There are several things you can do.

Vote.  Politicians have observers to see who votes.

Consider working for a large company with "blue state" values.
Healthcare companies may also offer excellent benefit packages.

Consider moving to a more friendly neighborhood.
It is relatively easy in the USA to move to a new town.

Marion

Offline Gertrude

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Re: Feeling defeated
« Reply #3 on: June 13, 2020, 07:29:44 am »
A couple things. One, things could change this November. Get out and vote! Another is, if we knew what state you lived in, maybe we could help you find resources. I will also say that teletherapy has really taken off in the last few months.

Offline Magnolia88

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Re: Feeling defeated
« Reply #4 on: June 13, 2020, 03:11:08 pm »
I live in Texas, one of the most red blooded states in the nation. The good news is I work for a very inclusive diverse company with great benefits so I’ll see what my options are. News like this though just kills my spirit. Why is it so damn hard for us to just live our lives?

Offline Gertrude

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Re: Feeling defeated
« Reply #5 on: June 13, 2020, 03:17:26 pm »
No matter what, this time will come to pass. Even your own state is shifting purple/blue due to migration from more liberal states. Change won't happen overnight, but it will happen. Austin is supposed to be the most liberal city in TX. I live in AZ, which isn't a lot better. Like you, the company one works for makes a big difference. If you have BCBS, I can PM a rec on a therapist.

Offline Magnolia88

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Re: Feeling defeated
« Reply #6 on: June 14, 2020, 02:53:29 am »
No matter what, this time will come to pass. Even your own state is shifting purple/blue due to migration from more liberal states. Change won't happen overnight, but it will happen. Austin is supposed to be the most liberal city in TX. I live in AZ, which isn't a lot better. Like you, the company one works for makes a big difference. If you have BCBS, I can PM a rec on a therapist.

I have Aetna, but I’ll take any recs you have. Thank you!

Online Confused1

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Re: Feeling defeated
« Reply #7 on: June 14, 2020, 09:42:36 pm »
I live in Texas, one of the most red blooded states in the nation. The good news is I work for a very inclusive diverse company with great benefits so I’ll see what my options are. News like this though just kills my spirit. Why is it so damn hard for us to just live our lives?

Hi Magnolia,

If you work for an inclusive diverse company, hopefully they will still cover it. Depending on your comfort level, it might not hurt to ask your HR person, or question the insurance company itself.

I am in a red border state of Texas. I find myself in the same boat. I am on Medicare. I have been seeing a therapist, and was about to talk to a surgeon that accepts Medicare to find out what is required for them with Medicare. My therapist told me to find out what is required and I think she is on board for my first letter soon. She just gave me the name of someone else she works with in a nearby town to probably get the second.

I have the same questions about surgery that you have. I figured it would probably be a little hard to get GRS paid for before this happened, but now I really wonder. Hopefully the news is making it sound worse than it is. I think the door has been opened to some extent and hopefully insurance companies won't immediately change their policies. Sadly this does follow politics to a large extent. It should not be political and we should not be forced to go through a process and then have it changed partway through!!

I noticed today there is also some clamping down happening in the UK as well. As others have already said, vote! November is not that far away, and this may not affect your timing depending on what the election brings. It will take some time with therapists to get letters if you don't already have them.

Offline AnneK

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Re: Feeling defeated
« Reply #8 on: June 14, 2020, 09:55:30 pm »
Quote
I noticed today there is also some clamping down happening in the UK as well.

This sort of thing makes me glad I live in Canada.  Here, GCS is covered through the provincial health plan, just like any other medical care.  As it is, my hormones are covered.

I'm a 66 year old male who has been thinking about SRS for many years.  I also was a  full cross dresser for a few years.  I wear a bra, pantyhose and nail polish daily because it just feels right.

Started HRT April 17, 2019.

Offline Jessica_K

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Re: Feeling defeated
« Reply #9 on: June 15, 2020, 02:29:52 am »
The British has a unique way of clamping down. Not by prohibiting, banning or making it illegal for the state to provide, but by limiting access

Jessica xxx

Online Confused1

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Re: Feeling defeated
« Reply #10 on: June 15, 2020, 12:43:13 pm »
Magnolia,

Take a look at todays headlines. We had a huge win in the Supreme Court! Hopefully it will make this conversation moot.

Confused1

Offline AnneK

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Re: Feeling defeated
« Reply #11 on: June 15, 2020, 09:59:34 pm »
The British has a unique way of clamping down. Not by prohibiting, banning or making it illegal for the state to provide, but by limiting access

Until about 4 years ago, it was also difficult in Canada, almost an obstacle course.  You had to see a shrink and have a year of RLE, before even getting hormones.  These days you can get them on informed consent and the surgery process is a lot easier too.  There's also a new clinic in Toronto, which is quite easy for me to get to.

I'm a 66 year old male who has been thinking about SRS for many years.  I also was a  full cross dresser for a few years.  I wear a bra, pantyhose and nail polish daily because it just feels right.

Started HRT April 17, 2019.

Offline ashley7

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Re: Feeling defeated
« Reply #12 on: June 16, 2020, 11:07:04 pm »
I'm lucky I'm in a very progressive state, so I don't think I'll be discriminated.

Offline Magnolia88

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Re: Feeling defeated
« Reply #13 on: June 21, 2020, 07:09:40 pm »
Sorry for taking so long to respond. It’s been a busy week with the 2nd job opening back up. I appreciate the support and feedback. I hate that I can let things like this affect me so harshly, but it feels that way sometimes. I took some time to reflect on how lucky I am. I do have a great job that was inclusive and non discriminatory even before the ruling. It’s one of the things they pride themselves on actually. So I don’t think I’ll have anything to worry about and with my other job open again, it gives me more money to spend on transition costs. I had a moment of weakness, but I’m right back on my mission to live my best life and I’m not gonna let anything stop me from achieving it.

Offline AnneK

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Re: Feeling defeated
« Reply #14 on: June 21, 2020, 09:54:49 pm »
Don't forget, last week the supreme court ruled against one anti-trans law and this isn't much of a leap from it.
I'm a 66 year old male who has been thinking about SRS for many years.  I also was a  full cross dresser for a few years.  I wear a bra, pantyhose and nail polish daily because it just feels right.

Started HRT April 17, 2019.

Offline Birdie on a Wire

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Re: Feeling defeated
« Reply #15 on: September 04, 2020, 11:05:21 am »
It’s been a while since anything was said in this thread but wanted to add a little from my perspective.

I live in one of the blue dots inside what is mostly red Texas and I have volunteered for the campaign of my U.S. Rep that flipped the seat from red to blue as well as for the state rep who took a red seat.

Polls show that Texas is VERY close in the presidential election and as such makes Texas a battleground state.

Get out and vote. Have friends and family vote.  The down ballot is equally as important as the presidential decision... maybe more so.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Offline Rachel

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Re: Feeling defeated
« Reply #16 on: September 07, 2020, 09:21:24 am »
I will be receiving a mail in ballot. I did not want a potential closed polling place or places to stop my vote from getting counted.

There are so few that vote it is very important to vote. Sometimes states electors are chosen by just a few thousand votes.

Rachel
MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas FemLar scheduled 9/2020

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