Author Topic: Better to transition young?  (Read 1321 times)

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Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: Better to transition young?
« Reply #20 on: June 24, 2020, 02:33:54 pm »
@Gertrude
Great advice, I could not have stated it better myself.
Thank you for sharing your insight.

Yes indeed, as Gertrude suggested @ashley7, a therapist familiar with transgender issues would be a big, big help.... even just one visit if that is all that you and/or your insurance can afford.
HUGS,
Danielle


Some folks go through an adolescent phase transitioning or expressing, some don't. I'd rather be who I am at the age I am, which would be a lot. I can't get time back, so there's no use wanting something that cannot be. I also disliked adolescence. I think I went from 12 to 21 in a years time. I remember a story my therapist told me about a client that complained she got cat calls and unwanted attention during transition. This person was nearly 50 and wore fishnets and miniskirts. My therapist said he asked her, does a 48 year old woman normally dress like that? It's more a reflection of what is. While we don't condone certain behaviors from others, there are always social consequences that you either accept or modify behaviors to avoid. IDK. I think understanding oneself before going through transition might be a good start and I mean see a qualified therapist that specializes in LGBT issues and see where you are at. It will help a lot.
« Last Edit: June 24, 2020, 05:50:28 pm by Northern Star Girl »
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Offline Meghan

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Re: Better to transition young?
« Reply #21 on: June 24, 2020, 02:50:26 pm »
As I told my Therapist I know I never passing like cis woman, but I want transition to be how I suppose to be. My therapist agree with me whole heartly and let me begins

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Offline Rachel Montgomery

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Re: Better to transition young?
« Reply #22 on: June 24, 2020, 05:14:03 pm »
And all the time I spent as the wrong gender is time that is lost. Isn't it infinitely better to transition young?

I believe so, but you can't transition earlier than NOW.  So, it isn't particularity helpful to fret over things you can't control.  Control what you can, work towards what you want as hard as you can, and make it happen as soon as you can.  Then, regardless, you know you did what you could.

Offline Rachel Montgomery

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Re: Better to transition young?
« Reply #23 on: June 24, 2020, 05:15:45 pm »
I'm 31 and living with my parents due to mental illness. I have no degree or job experience.

Does your mental illness keep you from working?  If not, get a job and start saving your money.  If so, you are at the mercy of other people.  I am sorry.

Offline Rachel Montgomery

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Re: Better to transition young?
« Reply #24 on: June 24, 2020, 05:24:11 pm »
A 2-year degree gets you nothing these days.

That isn't true.  You can get a job as a nurse with a 2 year degree in a lot of places.  Are you in the states?  I imagine there are other reasonably good jobs that a person can get with a 2 year degree.  And, nothing says that after you start a job you got from a 2 year degree (LPN or LVN), you can't continue your education and get higher degrees.  Climbing out of a hole takes effort.

If you could become a nurse your employer may help you to get a RN (ADN/BSN) degree (4 year).  And, from there, they may also pay for you to get a Masters and a doctorate in nursing.  That is merely a career path I know about, but I am sure there are others.

Offline Rachel Montgomery

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Re: Better to transition young?
« Reply #25 on: June 24, 2020, 05:26:57 pm »
I want to become a girl, not a woman. Anyone else feel the same? After 40, I'd rather be male.

[Eye brows up] What?  What does that mean?

Why do you think you'd rather be a man after 40?  If you are right about that, I think transitioning is probably a bad idea for you.  It's really hard to de-transition; particularly if you have had bottom surgery.  A lot of the changes are permanent. 

Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: Better to transition young?
« Reply #26 on: June 24, 2020, 05:30:13 pm »
@ashley7
The replies by member @Rachel Montgomery  are correct.... 

    "... it isn't particularity helpful to fret over things you can't control.  Control what you can."

    "Does you mental illness keep you from working?  If not, get a job and start saving your money.  If so, you are at te mercy of other people.  I am sorry."


You don't need to have a 2 year degree or any college degree to have a job that can help pay the bills....  retail store personnel and food service people can make somewhat decent wages as long as your medical conditions can allow you to work... 
...most of those jobs do not usually require a lot of previous experience and/or special skills or hard physical labor...   just show up, do the work, and get paid.   Later on as things progress and you can determine what kind of work that you can do... then you may consider going to a community college for a ONE or TWO year degree in a field of interest to you.

Best Wishes to you....
Danielle


Does you mental illness keep you from working?  If not, get a job and start saving your money.  If so, you are at te mercy of other people.  I am sorry.

I believe so, but you can't transition earlier than NOW.  So, it isn't particularity helpful to fret over things you can't control.  Control what you can, work towards what you want as hard as you can, and make it happen as soon as you can.  Then, regardless, you know you did what you could.

I'm 31 and living with my parents due to mental illness. I have no degree or job experience. I'm stuck in this rut, stuck with my family who doesn't support my transition. I can't do it on my own because I have no money. It doesn't help that I'm getting older and don't want to "miss out" on younger years as a trans woman. The wait till I'm ready is killing me, and seeing trans females makes me jealous, because I want so bad to transition myself.
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Started HRT:   March 2015
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Offline CosmicJoke

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Re: Better to transition young?
« Reply #27 on: June 24, 2020, 06:26:19 pm »
[Eye brows up] What?  What does that mean?

Why do you think you'd rather be a man after 40?  If you are right about that, I think transitioning is probably a bad idea for you.  It's really hard to de-transition; particularly if you have had bottom surgery.  A lot of the changes are permanent.

I'm thinking she meant that she wishes she could have had a "normal childhood" as a girl. She would have rather transitioned as a child than now as an adult. As someone who didn't start transition until 18, I could relate to that feeling. Many of us aren't that lucky but I think that the question eventually graduates into "would you rather be transgender or cisgender?"

Offline madeleine

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Re: Better to transition young?
« Reply #28 on: June 24, 2020, 07:10:57 pm »
... But don't you want to transition at the prime of your life? When you can just be dumb and happy and take selfies to post on social media? ...

I'll admit it Ashley, I share those feelings.  If I could do that I would.  Yes, it would be amazing to transition while young.

But I can't go back in time, so...screw it! I'm doing it anyway.  What the hell am I going to do if I don't transition?  Sure it won't be perfect, but if I don't do it I will have a 100% chance of never finding out how good it can be.  Screw that.

Offline madeleine

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Re: Better to transition young?
« Reply #29 on: June 24, 2020, 07:28:24 pm »
It sounds to me like you are hurting a lot and are feeling down. 

If you are super depressed or anxious or something like that, maybe try doing something about that before you make a decision about transitioning.  I have bad anxiety. I got the right meds and a decent therapist, and now my world does not seem as dark. I couldn't see or understand myself or other people fairly and I was a mess. 

Just take a leap of faith and try.


Offline Maddie

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Re: Better to transition young?
« Reply #30 on: June 24, 2020, 09:53:25 pm »
Ashley, if you want to have any experience as  a younger woman you should get it together and do it sooner not later. 
If you want to just be a girl (underage female child?) This can never be legit truth. 
You can modify what you want.
The real question about gender isnt what you want to be, its what are you inside?  Right now.  Are you a beautiful young woman?  Then it is best for your life that you be that now.

Please don't hate me.  I want you to live and win.

Nobody is getting younger.
If you'd rather be a man at 40, I recommend doing nothing and let time do its thing.
But you may regret and look back at this moment!!!


All the best to you.
« Last Edit: June 24, 2020, 10:55:32 pm by Maddie »

Offline inenidok

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Re: Better to transition young?
« Reply #31 on: June 28, 2020, 08:01:20 pm »
I started my journey in my mid 40s and I am at my surgery date! People ask me do I regret not doing it sooner no I don’t ! Because I have my number one fan my daughter! I am happy with where I am! I see life half started not half over!  And my profile pic is a day old
Love love, be yourself live life for you. 12/21/17 is the start of a new me

Offline Gracylicious

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Re: Better to transition young?
« Reply #32 on: July 08, 2020, 11:03:12 am »
Hi Ashley,

There are many facets in transitioning as I understand: mannerisms, walking, sitting, dressing, cleaning, talking, haircuts, makeups, seduction skills, will-power etc.  Try to get to know yourself or improve yourself, take some personality tests, pick up a new physical exercise habit.  Instead of thinking me first, see how you fit into the larger equation within your family, then community, then society, and then the world citizen.  Remember, even very good-looking, sexy models with Brasilian butt lifts have ugly minds and have no friends in life. Hope you don't mind and have been helped by my ideas !

Offline quackattackisback

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Re: Better to transition young?
« Reply #33 on: July 08, 2020, 08:45:41 pm »
Idk about others, but I think everyday about how much better my life would be if I was able to stop puberty when I was a kid. It's definitely better IMO. Fewer surgeries needed. Less distress. Younger bodies change more easily and are more responsive to HRT. I wish I could have done it. But, my parents forced me into being a boy like so many of us.

Offline Erika_

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Re: Better to transition young?
« Reply #34 on: July 09, 2020, 07:58:26 pm »
I wish that I transitioned younger, the main bulk of my problems are because I failed for so long and wasn't able to transition.

Plus I could have been stealth by now, I could have a boyfriend and a normal life.

Offline Ellie_Arroway

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Re: Better to transition young?
« Reply #35 on: July 10, 2020, 04:03:18 am »
I have no regrets. When I was younger, the transitioning path would have been much more difficult than it is now. Part of my decision to start transitioning last year was made because the world has become a more accepting place for trans women.

I was already bullied a lot in my school years. Adding a transition on to that would have made my life absolutely awful at the time.

I also have a genetic family, which was one of my life goals. Transitioning before then would at the very least have made the process more difficult.

Also, more is known now about transitioning than has been known in the past, which means transitioning medically is at least somewhat safer.
Started seriously questioning: 24 Aug 2019
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Offline pamelatransuk

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Re: Better to transition young?
« Reply #36 on: July 10, 2020, 10:59:43 am »
I have no regrets. When I was younger, the transitioning path would have been much more difficult than it is now. Part of my decision to start transitioning last year was made because the world has become a more accepting place for trans women.

Also, more is known now about transitioning than has been known in the past, which means transitioning medically is at least somewhat safer.

Thank you Ellie for 2 really valid points above.

As for me, transitioning before 2017 simply did not happen and we all know one cannot turn the clock back.

OTOH I certainly would have transitioned in the last century had society been more accepting. I intend to really enjoy the next 20 years or so and indeed have already started. Transition at any age is so delightful!

Hugs

Pamela xx








Offline AllieSF

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Re: Better to transition young?
« Reply #37 on: July 10, 2020, 12:40:46 pm »
Yes Pamela, "Transition at any age is so delightful!"

 I started crossdressing at age 60, and now live full time as a trans woman and love everyday of it, even the occasional bad days!  Do it when you can and learn to enjoy yourself and your life as a woman or man.

Allie
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Offline Dorit

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Re: Better to transition young?
« Reply #38 on: July 11, 2020, 01:37:56 am »
Thank you Ellie for 2 really valid points above.

As for me, transitioning before 2017 simply did not happen and we all know one cannot turn the clock back.

OTOH I certainly would have transitioned in the last century had society been more accepting. I intend to really enjoy the next 20 years or so and indeed have already started. Transition at any age is so delightful!

Hugs

Pamela xx

Pamela, thank you for speaking for me too! 
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Offline Maid Marion

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Re: Better to transition young?
« Reply #39 on: July 11, 2020, 07:14:13 am »
The world around me wasn't really ready for me transitioning as a young adult.  I was even told that I shouldn't enjoy shopping!

It is just as well.  I made the best of my opportunities and have done amazing things.  As a girl I wouldn't have had those opportunities to use my skills and do those things.  Maybe a few, but not the huge amount of stuff I've done.
And maybe I wouldn't have invested as well as I have.  Who knows? 

Just because you are older doesn't mean you can't look really good.  I've taken very good care of myself since I was ten and avoided sun burning myself.  I still have excellent skin tone. 

Marion

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