Author Topic: Who is generally less supportive of trans women - cis men or cis women?  (Read 486 times)

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Online sarahc

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My experience has been:

* Men have generally been more ho-hum about me coming out. It's not a big deal for them as I would have thought. No super cheerleaders, but no real haters.
* Most women have cheered me for coming out, BUT a few women have definitely reacted with a chilly manner that I haven't received from any men.

So I'm seeing more of the extremes from women.

Others' experiences?

Sarah
----
47 years young.
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.phpVF/topic,244009.0.html)
VFS: September 2019; three-month report here
Full-time: April 2020
FFS: August 2020
SRS: January 2021

Offline Meghan

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I don't care what other people think since I am happy. As 60 I don't care much or wait for other approval

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Meghan Pham: MtF Transgender, Transsexual, Transwoman, social justice, Caregivers, Certified Nurse Assistant

Online Northern Star Girl

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@sarahc
Dear Sarah:
In my own experiences I do not see any difference when dealing with cis-men and cis-women....   people are people and either they will accept me and support me.... or they won't.
I have wonderful relationships and friendships with both.... and I give a wide berth to those that do not.

HUGS,
Danielle


My experience has been:

* Men have generally been more ho-hum about me coming out. It's not a big deal for them as I would have thought. No super cheerleaders, but no real haters.
* Most women have cheered me for coming out, BUT a few women have definitely reacted with a chilly manner that I haven't received from any men.

So I'm seeing more of the extremes from women.

Others' experiences?

Sarah
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Online RandyL

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I've experienced almost no negativity from anyone. But I feel like I get more appraising looks from men. And no I don't think they are attracted to me. I interpret it as them trying to figure me out. But then, I don't stop and ask them, do I?

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Casting about for my best path forward...

Offline KathyLauren

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I have experienced no negativity from men or women.  I doubt if you could generalize it down to one gender or the other.  Some people of either gender are - well, you know the word - but fortunately, most are not. 

I have read horrible, transphobic stuff attributed to men, and equally horrible, transphobic stuff attributed to women.  It shouldn't be a contest.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly, beginning full-time; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2019-10-18 Phone consultation for GRS; 2020-03-11 GRS!




Offline RachelTG

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I agree with other replies here. I live in a smaller town that is very blue collar and predominately Hispanic. I worried that the conservative values along with strong Catholic roots would be a problem. I was overwhelmed by the positive support from everyone I have come out to. I work for city government and they supported me throughout the coming out at work process. I was the first transgender person that my HR had encountered but they were great.
I have found no difference in male or female support. My male co-workers took a little longer to figure out how to address me but it's all good.


Offline Jessica_Rose

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In my experience, most cis men and women are accepting and supportive, but cis women are more vocal about it. Until COVID-19 came along, most cis men I knew prior to transition greeted me with a handshake, while a few greeted me with an enthusiastic hug. Most cis women give me a hug. The only people who have shunned me do so based on their religious backgrounds.
Journal thread - Jessica's Rose Garden
National Coming Out Day video - Coming Out - Jessica Rose
GCS Thread - GCS and BA with Dr. Ley on 21 Feb 2019 - Jessica_Rose
GCS II and FFS Thread - GCS II and FFS with Dr. Ley on 26 July 2019 - Jessica_Rose
23Mar2017 Started Estradiol / 16Feb2018 Full Time! / 21Feb2019 GCS Dr. Ley / 26July2019 GCS II & FFS Dr. Ley

Don't let others tell you who you are. Be yourself, the world will adjust. -- Jessica Rose

Offline zirconia

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I can't really say since I don't publicize my condition.

But of the men who knew me as a boy two expressed disapproval of medical treatment. One because "Angels are sexless." And the other because "Being different is cool."

And one woman and one man seemed clueless about what drives me. They tried to convince me to not have SRS because "It's dangerous and you're feminine without, so as long as you're not naked it makes no difference."

...which of course misses the entire point and would just make the whole thing absolutely meaningless. LOL.

So of those I know it's three to one I guess, with men winning.

Offline KarynMcD

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* Most women have cheered me for coming out, BUT a few women have definitely reacted with a chilly manner that I haven't received from any men.

It's not uncommon for women to treat other women this way.

Offline SadieBlake

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It's not uncommon for women to treat other women this way.

I'm not wild about this sentiment, it's propagating a fairly negative stereotype of women.

IAC my experiences with women have been almost uniformly positive, the worst I've experienced from women I don't know has been occasional disapproving stares, I get those from men almost any time I go out. I've been hassled on the street 3 times, all involving men.

This isn't counting immediate family. However in that we're talking about one lifetime bigot and one TERF.
🌈👭 lesbian, troublemaker ;-) 🌈🏳️‍🌈

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