Author Topic: MTF in need of help 2  (Read 4257 times)

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Offline Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #80 on: September 14, 2020, 05:39:14 pm »
Tomorrow I go to NYC and see RBL. My original goal was to correct depth, correct the lower vagina and fat injections. I had a Skype meeting with Dr. RBL in April. She said she needed to see me in person and as a condition I was to contact my doctor and do pelvic floor exercises.

I was 3.5 inches #4 without force gently inserted,4.5 inched with force. My PA-c showed me how to do the exercises. I had some success. I was just below orange dot 5. I purchased a used Sybian ( I wish I purchased one in 2017). I am about 1.5 inches above dot 5 orange. The sybian does pelvic floor exercises and with an nice ending. I have two xl attachments from motor bunny I use to increase diameter and length. I think diameter is as important as depth. I noticed a huge improvement in depth when I increased diameter.

So I do not need another major vaginal surgery, no PPV. I really did not want that surgery. I am hoping I can gain in cosmetic appearance. I am self conscious and I play a lot and it is with lights on.

Anyhow, the Sybian has incredible opportunities for orgasms for long periods and it increased my vaginal canal much easier than through dilation alone.

I am being very good and not going to parties. It has been 4 weeks. I need to make sure I am not sick for Portland in 3 weeks.  I am excited to finally get my voice corrected. I am wondering what I will sound like.

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On another note, has anyone tried induced lactation? If you did was there an increase in nipple size and breast size?

Rachel
MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas FemLar 10/13/2020

Offline Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #81 on: September 17, 2020, 05:42:10 pm »
I had the appointment with Dr. RBL and Dr. Lee on Tuesday 9/15/2020. Dr. RBL had me do pelvic floor exercises and I found a unique way to do them. I am presently 6.5 inches with #4 dilator. I never thought that would happen in a million years.

The only issues now with my vagina are 1) two splits at the bottom (from when the graft died), 2) the vaginal canal is a bit horizontal and 3) lack of bottom labia and 4) lack of fat.

RBL said that fat reabsorbed before and therefore there is no reason to try that again. She said she could extend the upper labia to the lower part of the vagina and close the two fissures. She said because the scar tissue on the fissures they could open. Also there would be tension on the fissure repair due to the stretched labia. I thought how in the world would a guy get a large penis in there and not cause damage.

So, I will get a consult with Dr. McGinn and a doctor in New Town near me. From the three doctors I will make a decision to go forward or not and if I go forward I will choose the doctor that can offer the best reasonable option. I think ultimately it will boil down to several smaller operations over time.

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25 days till FemLar. Portland sounds like there is a lot of smoke. Not good if you cannot cough. Then there is the activities but I can not leave the hotel room.
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I have been a good girl and no parties for 3 weeks.
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I am at 169 pounds and exactly where I want to be. Now I need to increase calories a bit and level off.
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Winter is coming and I really dislike the cold. I have no idea how Danielle can survive in Alaska. I really do not like the cold. I love humid and warm.
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After Femlar heals and Covid permitting I really want to get back to the gym.
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I will also most likely not go to another party and try dating after my voice heals. I think I got that out of my system. I think I got a huge boost to my confidence going to them but I think I want something a little more.
-----------------------------------------

Rachel
MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas FemLar 10/13/2020

Offline Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #82 on: September 19, 2020, 08:01:28 am »
I got my genome :) all 930,000 lines. Next I exported it to CSV and now I need to sort and save for all the gene polymorphisms associated with the several research documents I have. There is a lot of information out there about enzyme gene polymorphisms and the results from them.

The one research paper describes my past genitalia exactly. Another paper lists many gene variations and the resultant effects. It was done with cis vs 250 trans woman.

How to wrap around 930,000 lines of genetic code I think will be pretty easy with a sort feature, filter and tabs. I may also use other excel tools. This will take some time. Then I will share my results with out gender clinic docs. I would love to expand on the research with a post doc.

Rachel
MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas FemLar 10/13/2020

Offline Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #83 on: September 26, 2020, 08:09:02 pm »
I was researching what I was provided for a genome and it is a partial. It is 1/4000 of the entire genome. I wonder if my PC can handle 4 billion lines of CSV. I think I will ask some people at work for advise.

I went to a 3 day genetic conference at work last summer but even though I was scheduled off I had to miss most of the conference. There is a doctor at work that heads the division and I will talk to the admin and get advise.

I will need to get my entire genome from a specific lab after My vocal surgery. I have the names of 4.I may call them next week and ask questions such as the form of data, size and any polymorphism and allele filtering or a program to do such.

I really think transsexual is associated with allele and polymorphism and transgender with polymorphism.

=================================

FemLar October 13. So I have been a good girl for the past month. I am excited and a little apprehensive. This is it though, no more. Unless it is a minor laser adjustment afterwards.

MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas FemLar 10/13/2020

Offline Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #84 on: October 02, 2020, 05:51:42 pm »
I was in Portland over a year ago to see Dr. Thomas. I was #26 ( I think) in line for surgery. I was told it would be middle of 2021. I think due to Covid and the economy I am 11 days from surgery.

I have been very good and not gone to parties for over a month. I have been super careful in public and work. I will get to Portland on 10/7 and get food for a week then sequester. 10/8 covid test then sequester. If I am negative I see Dr. Thomas for 1.5 hours Monday then sequester. Tuesday the OR. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday I see the doctor and go home. Then I can speak a little on 10/28.

 
MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas FemLar 10/13/2020

Offline Mariah

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #85 on: October 03, 2020, 03:21:24 am »
Congrats, Good luck and be safe. Hugs
Mariah
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me.
mariah2014@susans.org
I am also spouse of genderfluid person.
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Offline Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #86 on: October 03, 2020, 03:23:03 pm »
@Mariah, Thank you.


MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas FemLar 10/13/2020

Offline Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #87 on: October 03, 2020, 09:02:57 pm »
Hi,

I was thinking, what happens if things do not go well in Portland (talked to my sister tonight and she definitely put some thoughts into my mind).

So I went to NY to see Dr. RBL. I had 3 issues. 1) depth, 2 lower labia 3) vulva fat. She said fat injection does not work ( I disagree, I think it worked 15% for me. Maybe it needs to be administered many times in lesser amounts). I corrected the depth issue myself. 3 labia. She offered a solution but it would make the skin very tight. She even said there would be a chance the skin would open at the bottom.  I had the graph die in an area and there was/is scar tissue at the bottom and it has 2 splits. When I am with a big guy (love that) it comes in handy to have the larger opening.

I will see Dr. McGinn again and get her opinion and another doctor in New Town. He works on Cis woman but I want to see him for two reasons.

Depth/diameter
I was/am able to increase length by using a Sybian and use 1 1.75 and 2 inch diameter long toys. I also use pelvic floor exercises when I dilate. I am at dot 5 without or very little pressure and closer to the lateral divot than dot 5 with pressure. I would estimate 1.5 inches past dot 5 orange. My scar tissue was stretched out and I am so much more stretchy in my vaginal canal.  I have a lot more feeling in my canal too. A big bonus is i use a smaller toy on the Sybian and always have an orgasm, super easy. I now have earth shattering orgasms with a magic wand. I need a wand head a little smaller so I can insert it. 

Hair/ NADPH
I am using apocynin (eliminates NADPH) internally and externally on my head scalp. I take NAD and PQQ and revesterol and co-Q 10 and et.al..

HRT
I practice the the WP method and it is life changing. I have a very high libido now. My breasts are growing. I want from a 40C(with some looseness) to 40D and will get a 40 DD (F) when I come home from Portland. I lost weight too and am increasing calories but I am 167 with increased cals (lost another 2 pounds). My size 6 pants are fitting a little tighter in my butt. I do  steps and squats 5 days a week. I do keto and time restricted feeding so I may have some higher growth hormone from that.

Boobies
I am doing some breast pumping to stimulate growth. I have learned to keep it on a low setting. I will take a break when I go to Portland and see how my boobs react. I definitely have growth. Nipples are so much larger and my aeriolas are much larger and turning brown. I wonder if the growth and changes are just when I am pumping and later will return to pre-pumping.

Dating/social life
I have decided to start dating when my voice heals. Not parties but dating. Parties are very fun but I think I have that out of my system. Funny thing I realized. I went from one community (closed due to covid) to another community. I was fully accepted in both. The former was 80% white, 15% black and 5% Asian and 95% female, 90 plus percent LGBT and all poly. The later is 95% black and 95 plus male, all cis and all poly. I was accepted in both communities but I am so much more comfortable in the latter community. So when I date I think I will try that community. I am definitely poly and really like guys that are younger than me. I also like big guys, a lot.

 Maybe that is why I could not date. No matter what, I will not allow a physical / mentally unhealthy relationship going forward. I know I can get dates. I want someone to do some things with like the beach and car shows and going target shooting with. I want a guy that is confident in himself and wants to be with me.

Gym
Post winter I will rejoin if covid is in check. If not then no gym.

 

MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas FemLar 10/13/2020

Offline Susan R

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #88 on: October 04, 2020, 01:49:14 am »
Boobies
I am doing some breast pumping to stimulate growth. I have learned to keep it on a low setting. I will take a break when I go to Portland and see how my boobs react. I definitely have growth. Nipples are so much larger and my aeriolas are much larger and turning brown. I wonder if the growth and changes are just when I am pumping and later will return to pre-pumping.
May I ask...is your breast pump manual or electric? I assume electric but I hate to assume anything. I am thinking about starting this in the near future for one of the reasons you are. I am getting a BA in January so I’ll have to take some time off if I start soon with this process but how long did you start seeing results? I’ve been on a high dose of Progesterone (bio identical) for 18 months but not seeing the results in nipple diameter, areola size and coloring I expected in that short time...maybe I am just being impatient.

Susan R🌷
Sept. 25, 2018:       Began HRT
May 19, 2019:         Out to All/Full time
June 12, 2019:        Name/Gender Marker on all ID's/Legal Docs completed
July 2, 2020:           GRS & BA Consult - Dr. Stiller
January 5, 2021:      GRS Surgery [Stage 1]
January 15, 2021:    BA
June 2021 [TBD]:     GRS Surgery [Stage 2]

Offline Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #89 on: October 09, 2020, 09:07:58 pm »
@Susan R,

I use a duel unit that is portable. I purchased it on eBay as new opened box.

Prolactin causes milk production with lower e levels. I have domperidone on order. In the mean time I was pumping several times a day.

Make sure you use the correct flange. Start on the low settings.

I think pumping 4 times a day is good. It takes time for clear liquid to be produced. Then the clear becomes yellow then yellow white. I stopped pumping while in Portland. I will resume when I get home. Hopefully the domperidone will be delivered soon.i produce a very small amount of liquid.

I use a cream on the nipples and surrounding area. I may start with olive oil.

At some point the milk ducts enlarge and it starts to feel good when pumping. I think after a month.

I want to know how it feels to make milk. I think pumping 4 times a day for a year the nipples and surrounding  tissue will enlarge permanently. Idk.

——————————————————————-
I am in Portland Oregon for vocal surgery.

The Portland airport is as empty. The philly airport was very low in people. It not empty. Same was the Dallas FW airport.
MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas FemLar 10/13/2020

Offline Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #90 on: October 10, 2020, 07:25:40 pm »
I had my pre surgery covid test and it is negative. I sent the results to Jody at Dr. Thomases. She replied on a Saturday, very cool. Next Monday I have an appointment with Dr. Thomas  and surgery Tuesday.

I am board.

I tripped at night coming out of the bathroom. I cut my chin pretty good. Could have been worse.
MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas FemLar 10/13/2020

Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #91 on: October 10, 2020, 08:47:46 pm »
I had my pre surgery covid test and it is negative. I sent the results to Jody at Dr. Thomases. She replied on a Saturday, very cool. Next Monday I have an appointment with Dr. Thomas  and surgery Tuesday.

I am board.

I tripped at night coming out of the bathroom. I cut my chin pretty good. Could have been worse.
@Rachel
Dear Rachel:
Good news that your "brain tickler" Covid test came out negative. 
Now you can proceed with your Monday appointment on Monday and your Surgery on Tuesday.

Please keep us all updated but only as you feel comfortable sharing.

Regarding tripping and hurting your chin.... please be careful.   
That is kinda how I hurt my ankle, while walking I tripped on a curb in town near my office... and I was on crutches for a couple weeks... it seems to be better now and I can almost walk without a limp....  and now I can drive my car.... it was my right ankle that was sprained so I couldn't drive.


HUGS and wishing you well.... and a successful surgery.
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #92 on: October 11, 2020, 09:01:30 pm »
@Danielle, thank you for the support. I know that falling can cause a change in life in an instant. I am really lucky.

The covid test was not an issue as it was both nostrils but very gentle. The results took I guess 10 minutes.

Tomorrow I have to see Dr. Thomas and work with Jody to fill out my FMLA paperwork that UNUM sent her. I wanted to take vacation time but HR insisted I take fmla.
MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas FemLar 10/13/2020

Offline Susan R

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #93 on: October 12, 2020, 12:23:31 am »
@Susan R,

I use a duel unit that is portable. I purchased it on eBay as new opened box.

Prolactin causes milk production with lower e levels. I have domperidone on order. In the mean time I was pumping several times a day.

Make sure you use the correct flange. Start on the low settings.

I think pumping 4 times a day is good. It takes time for clear liquid to be produced. Then the clear becomes yellow then yellow white. I stopped pumping while in Portland. I will resume when I get home. Hopefully the domperidone will be delivered soon.i produce a very small amount of liquid.

I use a cream on the nipples and surrounding area. I may start with olive oil.

At some point the milk ducts enlarge and it starts to feel good when pumping. I think after a month.

I want to know how it feels to make milk. I think pumping 4 times a day for a year the nipples and surrounding  tissue will enlarge permanently. Idk.

——————————————————————-
I am in Portland Oregon for vocal surgery.

The Portland airport is as empty. The philly airport was very low in people. It not empty. Same was the Dallas FW airport.

Thank you so much for this information @Rachel
Sept. 25, 2018:       Began HRT
May 19, 2019:         Out to All/Full time
June 12, 2019:        Name/Gender Marker on all ID's/Legal Docs completed
July 2, 2020:           GRS & BA Consult - Dr. Stiller
January 5, 2021:      GRS Surgery [Stage 1]
January 15, 2021:    BA
June 2021 [TBD]:     GRS Surgery [Stage 2]

Offline Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #94 on: October 12, 2020, 08:40:01 pm »
I had my appointment today with Dr. Thomas and his two associates. Jody no longer sees patients.

I have already had a CTS and glottoplasty. The glottoplasty is in the middle of the vocal fold. There is a bottom and top vibratory margin. My HZ is well in the female range my voice is not clear and sounds "sultry" (really how could the other doctor try to make the voice I have sound like it is good.). The top vibratory margin has one fold larger than the other. Since my visit to Dr. Thomas in January the right vocal fold did decrease in size a little.

Dr. Thomas will remove a section on my voice box and reduce its volume to approximate a voice box that was not enlarged by T. He will remove the bottom vocal fold and pull the glottoplasty front. He believes this will allow me to have a clear voice and a reduced volume voice box will help to make my voice have a female tamber. 

0630 is will be at the surgery center.

Rachel.
MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas FemLar 10/13/2020

Offline Maid Marion

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #95 on: October 12, 2020, 09:02:01 pm »
Hi Rachel,

Good luck with the surgery!

Marion

Offline Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #96 on: October 12, 2020, 09:08:53 pm »
@Maid Marion, thank you.

I really like your Susan's name, very cool.

MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas FemLar 10/13/2020

Offline Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #97 on: October 17, 2020, 10:02:09 am »
I am back from Portland and VFS FemLar and some additional corrective surgery. I am tired and need to catch up on some things like more sleep and calories.

Today I want to shower, stop by a shop for a visit and get more sleep and eat a bunch of calories. I think I an so off schedule it is not funny. Due to travel and time restricted feeding and keto I only have a small amount of nuts and cheese in the airport yesterday.



MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas FemLar 10/13/2020

Offline Rachel

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Re: MTF in need of help 2
« Reply #98 on: October 22, 2020, 10:47:27 pm »
I am at 168 pounds today and have increased calories. I think in a week or so I will be back up to 170. I do not want to get too thin. I am 6'1" (maybe 6'2") and 170 is good. I really need to get back in the gym and lift.
-------------------------
My throat is still swollen but it is going down.

It has been lonely in isolation. I think I will go back to work mid next week depending on how the throat feels. Being at work is very difficult to not talk and moving my head around a lot gets painful after a while. Plus I work long hours and I am just now starting to feel good.
--------------------------
I get a bunch of guys contacting me from POF and I never respond. I go to parties and have no issues hooking up. I think a potential relationship scares the heck out of me.  I think I hook up to validate myself but do not want to get close to another person and get hurt. I have seen other trans woman move on and get into relationships.

I need to figure out what I want to do:

1) hook-ups with absolutely no interest in anything more. It gets old, feels good but is empty. After I saw I am desirable then there is little desire to continue.
2) Date through POF
3) I have two hobbies that has a lot of guys in it buy this year was really bad due to covid. I did not do either as planned.
4) Gym, maybe a good place to go but covide is a concern.
5) Do nothing and get a cat when I get back from India, some day.
---------------------------------

So in Portland when I arrived on 10/7 I got food and when at the store there was a section for CBD. There was a guy there and I inquired and he said it is legal but if you want really good stuff then go to XYZ. I got back to the hotel and put away the groceries and google mapped the location. I went there and got and ounce of cbd. Back to the hotel and proceeded to take some. Then more and then more. Perhaps 10 or 12 droppers over time. During the night I got up and went to the bathroom and when returning from the bathroom I awoke on the floor the next day. My chin was cut and there were two 2 inch round circled of blood on the carpet. There was puke too. My face had both blood and puke over it. I of coarse felt horrible. My chin was cut open, not the first time.

Two days later while in isolation I put a dropper. Then another. Then I dumped it in the drain.

So I am sober and did not buy alcohol. I do not buy drugs. But I will abuse things to escape. It is really the escape I am after. Cutting my chin and puking and bleeding and laying in it was a deterrent until it wasn't. I have impaired control when it come to substances to escape.

So I am afraid of a relationship and I abuse substances. That is me or a part of me.
----------------------------

Back from Portland and I want to continue on my quest about 17-beta hydroxysteroid dehydrogenase, dhea and aromatase and seeing if I have polymorphism in that cycle.  I know I feel better (much better) when I take estrone and estradiol. I will add in some dhea and see if that has an effect. I will contact some labs tomorrow and inquire about the cycle. I need to contact a few genome testing labs and see if they also can do analyses for the reactions of the cycle or lack of enzymes.

So lets say there are a bunch polymorphism potentials (16 potential locations) and it is genetic and there are ways to activate either cycle T and E. The 17 B HST has different locals for T and E. but lets say you can get a simple test when pregnant, See the polymorphism and then have a treatment. Post birth without treatment then you get a treatment for trans to fully be your gender as the brain is changed forever.

I wonder if there was solid transnational evidence on the trans polymorphism if then we were treated and cared for by medical professionals like all other people. I also read a paper on how the cycle is also in one of the open angle glaucoma pathways too depending on the location of the polymorphism on the gene. There can be a host of issues in the pathways depending on the location or locals.

I worked with a geneticist in polymorphism for 16 nights 12 hour shifts in the covid wards. We discussed polymorphism. She said if you turn on or turn off a portion of a gene there are trade offs and some of which are not desirable. Further, it is a trade off and not all positive.

So maybe if there was an on off we would be different and having a treatment to provide the missing ingredients like T and DHT and d E1, E2  but leave the polymorphism or allele would be an optimum.

I have way too much time on my hands,
Rachel





MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas FemLar 10/13/2020

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