Author Topic: One New Life to Live  (Read 23404 times)

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Online Northern Star Girl

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #420 on: December 01, 2021, 03:38:57 pm »
@Laura1951
Dear Laura:
As I have previously replied with my comments, I am certainly enjoying reading your "story" that you have concisely composed.
I have to say that this last one that you submitted  "Part IV"  is one of my favorites and looking at the luncheon that you attended and the picture of you with your team captain makes me very, very happy for you.
   ... you are so very right with your statement   "No Risk. No Reward. I am blessed."

Even if your Part IV is the last in your series, I will continue to eagerly look for and read your updates and postings on your threads and all around the various Forum's threads;  this is what "Avid Followers and Supporters" do !!! 

HUGS and as always best wishes and continued success.
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 41

Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #421 on: December 01, 2021, 03:52:17 pm »
Thank you so much for following my journey, @Danielle. Indeed, Part IV is the close of this series. I'd initially thought the series would be longer, but then, ending it on a positive note works best. Transitioning is difficult for all of us, and while some have it much harder than me, we all have so much in common.

While I share tidbits of my blog on my FB page, as a means of sharing what it's like to be trans, Susan's is my private space to share all in a safe environment. My journey continues. I have several years before I'll feel complete, but today's lesson was to trust the people around me. I have far more friends and allies than enemies.

Laura
“When you’re ready, start living your truth. That’s when the magic happens.”

One New Life to Live (My personal blog)  |  My BA Journey   |  Laura's HRT Journal 

Full Time since 11/27/20  |  Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #422 on: December 05, 2021, 08:34:01 pm »
December 5, 2021

RENT

After years of recovering from my last marriage and feeling more comfortable in my new identity, I made the trek to San Francisco today to see the musical RENT. Now, as a theatre arts major in college, my past life was full of wonderful performances. However, the last 20 years, I've seen so few plays and musicals, so today was me trying to chart a new path, one that is a bit more confident.

The Orpheum Theatre is conveniently located right next to the Civic Center BART station (Bay Area Rapid Transit), so door to door took me just a bit over two hours. During my commute and the performance, I didn't notice people clocking me, although it's possible some did. It didn't matter. I got to dress up and see a wonderful, Pulitzer Prize winning musical.

Below is what I looked like today.



Onward.

Laura
“When you’re ready, start living your truth. That’s when the magic happens.”

One New Life to Live (My personal blog)  |  My BA Journey   |  Laura's HRT Journal 

Full Time since 11/27/20  |  Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Offline Oldandcreaky

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #423 on: December 05, 2021, 08:52:02 pm »
O&C: You've come far, Pilgrim.

L: "Feels like far."

O&C: "Were it worth the trouble?"

L: "Hah. What trouble?"

Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #424 on: December 05, 2021, 09:28:27 pm »
O&C: You've come far, Pilgrim.

L: "Feels like far."

O&C: "Were it worth the trouble?"

L: "Hah. What trouble?"

@OldAndCreaky

Love it. You gotta fake it until you make it, and then just keep faking it until nothing bothers you any more.   I'm getting there.

Laura
“When you’re ready, start living your truth. That’s when the magic happens.”

One New Life to Live (My personal blog)  |  My BA Journey   |  Laura's HRT Journal 

Full Time since 11/27/20  |  Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Offline davina61

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #425 on: December 06, 2021, 03:40:08 am »
If you show your not bothered then others wont bother, well thats what I do. Confidence is everything .
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever.
I get pushed out of shape and its hard to steer when I get rubber in all 4 gears (Beach Boys ,little deuce coupe)

Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #426 on: December 14, 2021, 09:20:13 pm »
December 14, 2021

Christmas Celebrations
As we march towards Christmas, I've seen a variety of Interclub players holding Christmas parties and play days, posting gleefully on their FB pages. I was invited to none of these. My amazing partner, Yeng, was invited to a variety of parties, but then she's immensely likable. I never believed that those who smile at me and pretend to be friendly would included me in their groups. I know they are just the opposite when i'm not around. To that end, there are only a handful of people i trust, wonderful women who have demonstrated their kindness.

Because Laura is trying to be different from <deadname> who never accepted invitations, nor issued them, I've again invited my close friends over this Saturday for crab, ravioli, sourdough, wine and stories. I'm happy that Yeng and one of her best friends, Celeste, are coming, as well as Celeste's best friend, who i'm also friends with. To round out the group, i invited Person One, who quickly accepted. Now, this will be an interesting evening, since Person One has never socialized with my other friends, but because i feel close to all these women, i'm hoping for a wonderful evening.

I'll share our stories on Sunday.

Onward.

Laura
“When you’re ready, start living your truth. That’s when the magic happens.”

One New Life to Live (My personal blog)  |  My BA Journey   |  Laura's HRT Journal 

Full Time since 11/27/20  |  Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Offline RandiL

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #427 on: December 18, 2021, 01:02:04 pm »
Ohh Laura, I hope it goes well and is a lot of fun!

My smartphone thinks it's smarter than me. It's probably right.

Forging my new, best life as Randi

My personal blog thread: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last

My HRT thread: Randi's HRT Journal


Online Northern Star Girl

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #428 on: December 18, 2021, 08:28:35 pm »
@Laura1951
Dear Laura:
I am so very glad and happy to read that you are accepting invitations and also planning
activities of your own where you can do the inviting.   
Opening up socially like this certainly allows you to expand your "friend" base where you
will undoubtedly find acceptance and support as Laura.

One of my favorite sayings is  .... 
   "If you want friends, be friendly... be the first to smile, say hello and start a conversation."

Likewise, one of my best Forum's friends ... @Jessica ... has a great "pearl of wisdom"
on her profile signature line....
   "If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce. 
If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


As always I am wishing you success and happiness as you continue in your journey.
I am also wishing you a happy Holiday time and
a very joyful and Merry Christmas.
HUGS, and more HUGS 
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 41

Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #429 on: December 19, 2021, 06:59:19 pm »
December 19, 2021@Danielle

Saturday Evening at my Home with my Friends and Crab

This post could easily have been Part V of my recent year-end series, since it was a wonderful example of the progress i've made the past year and where i am on the transition journey.

Saturday evening, my best friends came over for crab, wine and conversation, not necessarily in that order. The formal menu was Dungeness crab with my grandfather's crab sauce, Genova's meat ravioli, Asparagus, Caesar salad, and Sourdough bread with garlic butter spread. Yes, there was MUCH more food than required.

The original attendee list included all my best friends, including Yeng, Gayle, Calai, and Person One. I had intentionally included Person One because she knows nearly ALL my personal stories and i thought it was time to include her in our conversations and stories. Now, Yeng and friends are all filipina and Person One is Lebanese, so culturally they're different, but today's menu was straight out of Bay Area Italian roots and a meal that has been my winter comfort food for decades. The menu never varies.

Earlier, Yeng asked if she could bring her 10 year-old daughter over, since she'd be alone in the house, promising that her husband would pick her up around 8 after he got off his nursing job. If you're thinking that it's just a stereotype that most Filipinos are nurses, it's not. Yeng's husband and two of her best friends are nurses. Now, of course i included Yeng's daughter in our meal. She's a delightfully sweet, yet shy girl, whom i enjoy interacting with.

Everyone arrived around 6pm and we quickly began consuming wine and talking. Now, both Yeng's friends announced when they arrived that they'd need to leave for church at 7:30, but would return by 9:30, so i made sure dinner was ready by 6:30. This was a meal my friends weren't familiar with, but i was pleased how much they enjoyed it, but then fun conversation, a little (or a lot) of wine, and good food make for an enjoyable time. The stories began immediately. Now, normally i just use a cocktail sauce for my crab, but i took a risk by also making my grandfather's crab sauce. My sister found his hand-written recipe last year so i was looking forward to tasting it again. The recipe requires lots of fine chopping including a bell pepper, pickles, eggs, green onions, and olives, so i was pleasantly surprised when all my friends loved the sauce and asked me for the recipe.

Around eight, Yeng's husband showed up to pick up their daughter, but we easily convinced him to stay, eat, and share in the stories. While adding new people to this party changed the complexion, the results were the same. Good stories, laughter, and friendship all around.



Around the time our two friends returned, Yeng's husband and daughter departed as we retired to the family room to continue our story telling. One of my goals was to share the story of how Person One and i became best friends which led me to divulge that i was laura. In all, a wonderful night.

During the evening, i was constantly reminded that despite the Mean Girls and haters at the club, my friends far outnumber my haters. After one year of being full-time, i now have more best friends that i've had in my life and several people on the team are trusted allies. Yes, when the Interclub season resumes in January my haters will continue their quest, but now at least i have a better idea of who they are and how i must behave around them. I'm not going to give them reason to file complaints. I've come too far and made too much progress to let them stop me.

Now five 1/2 years after coming out, 2 1/2 years after telling Person one, and a year after going full-time, i continue to grow in confidence. Transitioning is both a mental and physical journey and while i'm perhaps halfway through, the progress is evident. I'm Laura, I have great friends, and the journey will continue.

Onward.

Laura
“When you’re ready, start living your truth. That’s when the magic happens.”

One New Life to Live (My personal blog)  |  My BA Journey   |  Laura's HRT Journal 

Full Time since 11/27/20  |  Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Offline Oldandcreaky

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #430 on: December 19, 2021, 07:33:48 pm »
Hooray for Laura!

Online Northern Star Girl

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #431 on: December 20, 2021, 12:21:51 am »
@Laura1951
Dear Laura:
Wow-Whee... I really enjoyed reading your good report regarding
your "Saturday Evening at my Home with my Friends and Crab"

I am glad that your effort to reach out and to invite your new and
accepting friends to your home resulted in great happiness and success.

Thank you for sharing and posting.

HUGS,
Danielle

***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 41

Online Northern Star Girl

  • Previously Alaskan Danielle
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  • northernstargirl@susans.org
Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #432 on: December 28, 2021, 10:48:51 am »
@Laura1951
Dear Laura:
More that a week since your last posting and update. :( :( :(

I trust that your Christmas holiday and end of year celebrations
have gone well and are going well for you. 

Question: ***What did you do for Christmas and what are
your plans for New Year's Eve? ???

I hope and trust that your New Year in 2022 will be successful
and happy.

As always, I am wishing you well... stay safe, stay healthy.
HUGS, 
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 41

Online Northern Star Girl

  • Previously Alaskan Danielle
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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #433 on: January 21, 2022, 10:57:55 am »
@Laura1951
Dear Laura:
Where, oh where, are you my dear forums friend? ???

It has been a FULL MONTH since you last posted on your thread
and elsewhere around the Forums.   I hope and trust that you
are doing OK and staying healthy and staying safe.

As your avid follower I am always looking forward to seeing
and reading what you want to share and post with us here
on the Forums.


 :icon_flower: :icon_bunch: :icon_bunch: :icon_bunch: :icon_flower:

HUGS and, as always,  best wishes.
Danielle


***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 41

Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #434 on: January 24, 2022, 09:56:02 pm »
January 24, 2022

I've been absent for a while, not because i've been busy or necessarily happy, but because avoidance is something i've needed to do. During Christmas break, i formulated my next blog post and while i'd written much of it in my head, when i actually began to write, i found it too difficult emotionally. As i've expressed in the past, writing is somewhat therapeutic for me as i explore both the events and emotions that are attached and attempt to understand what's happening. For that Christmas post, the words were there, but the will to express and share them were not. Only a brief introduction and the post title ever made it to the page, but i've included them at the bottom of this post. i don't know when i'll be back.

I'll share some other updates instead.

A few weeks ago, the ladies interleague season resumed. Our first match, though was against one of the teams that filed a complaint against me last November. For days leading to that match, i was a bit of a wreck and while i considered defaulting, yeng already had arranged a sub for herself so i felt i had to play. That morning, as i practiced my serves, i was completely off, which both surprised and bothered me. When we finally began playing the match, my head and emotions were still in crisis. During that set, everything I did, serving, ground strokes, and net play, were all disastrous. We lost that set 6-1.

Fortunately for me, my partner, LouieMay, had improved her skills greatly since try-outs, when we beat her and her partner. Better, i found that she was as positive as Yeng, which allowed me to break my habit, clear my head, and focus on being calmer in the second set. As a result, we took the second set 6-2 and one the third set 6-1. Yeng won't play in the league next year, but after LouieMay and i play this Wednesday, i may ask her to partner with me next year, that is if she already hasn't committed to someone else.

Around the same time, the Interleague board, who had imposed a "strike" on me while not scolding the Mean Girls who are torturing me, issued a revised set of conditions that can be grieved against as well as a new punishment schedule. Previously, the board would issue three strikes for repeated offenses and would expel you upon the fourth strike. Now, penalties begin with the second strike, which is a two match suspension. The third strike results in expulsion. So, i'm already on the precipice of being drummed out of the league by the Mean Girls.

Finally, because none of the woman invite me to play during the day (hence the title of my blog below), i'm only playing tennis on Monday evenings in my friend Sid's group, the Wednesday interleague match with Yeng, and a Saturday group i organize. Now, Sid's Monday group ranges from 12 to 24 players, which makes for a busy but fun Monday doubles group and good practice before our Wednesday match. However, my main enemy, the Mean Girl, is now part of that group. This both surprised and distressed me. While i was scared of playing our match against the team that complained about me, i'm terrified of this Mean Girl, who is the primary aggressor against me. I'm disappointed that Sid let her play and because of my fear, i've dropped out of that group. Yes, i expect some to tell me just to ignore her, but you have to live in my shoes to understand my fear. I'd rather quit that be around that person.

---------------
January 2, 2022

The subject of today's post does not negate my December posts, where i wrote about the joy i felt about my physical and mental growth the past year as well as the new friends i've made. Feeling like an outcast and being lonely exist in the same world. Certainly, i do my best to put on a happy face, but that does not lesson the fear i feel on  a daily basis.

Outcast
“When you’re ready, start living your truth. That’s when the magic happens.”

One New Life to Live (My personal blog)  |  My BA Journey   |  Laura's HRT Journal 

Full Time since 11/27/20  |  Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Online Northern Star Girl

  • Previously Alaskan Danielle
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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #435 on: January 24, 2022, 10:36:01 pm »
@Laura1951
Dear Laura:
Reading your last update here on your Blog thread that you just posted tonight made me
very, very sad....  your heartfelt words tugged at my heart and caused me tearful distress
on your behalf.... 
....along with the rest of your avid followers here, I am one of your biggest fans and I am
always rooting for you happiness and success as the person that you have become.

You need know for sure that you are not an OUTCAST here on the Susan's Place Forums.
This is the place that you have unconditional acceptance and are "surrounded" by many of
your like-minded Forum's friends here.

I am sending you my big and tight HUG.....

                       

I have no words or advice regarding your tennis club activities but I hope and trust that
you can find ways to rectify your difficult and heart wrenching situation. 

Best wishes to you... and I will be continuing to eagerly look for and read your updates
on your Blog thread and your other postings around the Forums.

If you wish you can always communicate with me via Forums PM
or through my email  northernstargirl@susans.org

Danielle 
     
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 41

Offline Oldandcreaky

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #436 on: January 25, 2022, 07:13:26 am »
Laura, you've attempted to be just one of the girls in your tennis league at a terrible time. The issue of transwomen competing against cis-females in sports seems to be in the news everyday.

In the end, I'm sad for you because you're hurting.

Offline RandiL

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #437 on: January 25, 2022, 05:57:47 pm »
Laura, I feel for you. It's really sad that these people feel a need to single you out for abuse like this

In a way, I'm following you down this path. This summer I will enter the Pikes Peak Ascent footrace as a woman. I don't know what blowback, if any, I may face. There aren't many 65-69 year old women stupid enough to enter this race, so there's a reasonable chance I could place in the top 3 in my age group. I kinda hope I don't.

Take care and know that we care about you.

My smartphone thinks it's smarter than me. It's probably right.

Forging my new, best life as Randi

My personal blog thread: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last

My HRT thread: Randi's HRT Journal


Tags: coming out