Author Topic: Back.. Yet Again  (Read 220 times)

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Offline Sarah Rose

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  • Trans-Woman Finally Out (pre-hrt)
Back.. Yet Again
« on: July 11, 2020, 06:35:14 pm »
About 7 or 8 years ago I joined this site trying to figure out what it was I wanted in life.
I had come out as transgender to most of my family and after seeing a lot of negative reactions I went right back into the closet.

... I ended up in a relationship with a very loving Woman and we had a child. Their 5 years old now and I've come back out after years of trying to convince myself that this was just a phase and then realizing I was likely going to destroy everything I built by coming out again.

Sure enough... I ended up ending the relationship mostly due to the stress of trying to talk to my Fiancee about things and then recoiling back at a bad reaction yet again... Trying to find some middle ground that would make everyone happy.

There is no middle ground, I'm transgender plain and simple and I 1000000% percent plant to start HRT after I move back out of my folks house. I have very little support, family is against it and often makes nasty remarks. The fact that I have a child is complicating things as nobody wants them nor my nephews to know anything about what's going on.

So when My child does get to visit I get to grit through horrendous dysphoria as I lie to them about myself.
I've already socially transitioned but right now if I want to see my child I need to hang up the wig and forms.

I'm growing out my hair, painting my nails and wearing whatever I want but it seems the wig/form is where the family draws the line around the kids.

I'm not hiding again, I simply cannot. It's a choice between living as Sarah or not living at all!
I most certainly choose to live as Sarah.

The only place I'm not 100% out is at work and with the kids of the family. At work my friend/manage knows and basically everyone there knows I wear Woman's jeans and a bra at work but I've not yet told most of them that I'm transgender mostly for fear of losing my job although it seems at this point they know and it won't be an issue.

I've clung to my forms pretty hard lately to keep my dysphoria at bay but taking them off nearly instantly makes been feel absolutely awful.

I don't know how often I'll post but I do want to get more active, I'm mostly active on a few Discord servers but I do want to get back at it here.

Figured I'd leave a new intro since it's been so long since I've been here.

Janes Groove

Re: Back.. Yet Again
« Reply #1 on: July 11, 2020, 07:04:15 pm »
Welcome to the site Sarah.

Online Northern Star Girl

  • Previously Alaskan Danielle
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Re: Back.. Yet Again
« Reply #2 on: July 11, 2020, 07:14:26 pm »
@Sarah Rose
Dear Sarah
    Thank you for returning once again to Susan's Place and the Forums and sharing your Re-Introduction.

    Please know that I am not trying to hijack your "returning to the site" post but first I wish to Officially Welcome YOU back to Susan's Place.
    I am happy to see that you have returned to Susan's Place and have submitted your several recent postings. 

    As you know from your previous experience here as you post on the forums you will be able to exchange thoughts and comments with others that are experiencing many of the same things that you are.
    This is the right place for you to be to find out what others may have to say.
    I want to warmly WELCOME you BACK to Susan's Place
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.

    As you are certainly aware you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members.  When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
     ***There is a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new like-minded friends here. 

    Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.   Other members will be along shortly to give you their thoughts about your questions and concerns that you mentioned in your very first posting.
    As a previous member you have undoubtedly have already seen the attached information and important LINKS that I have included below.   You will find information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.   
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask....

Again, Welcome Back to Susan's Place.

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:
Things that you should read
« Last Edit: July 11, 2020, 10:35:08 pm by Northern Star Girl »
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 41