Topic: On-line Dating women without GCS

[ConfusedSarah]

Hi,

I am really struggling with on-line dating. I am being honest about my status as trans it is clear in my profile and my intent not to have GCS. I disclose later when the chat starts. If it starts. I seem to attract strange people, couples and well other people. I'm not looking for someone covered in tattoos (nothing personal its not my thing). I would like to date feminine women.
 
When I do manage to start some on-line chat and when I disclose the conversion ceases, or moves to friends only. I haven't even been for a real date yet.  Any tips? Shared frustrations?0 Good Sites? I'm in Australian by the way before recommending sites or places somewhere else in the world. I can't even contemplate going to those places at the moment.

Cheers,
Sarah

[Devlyn]

There's dating sites, and there's dating sites. Some are for hookups and NSA sex. Others are for long-term relationships. I'd say (as a huge generalisation) that the free ones that let you just create a simple profile and start browsing and contacting people are more likely to be hookup/NSA sites. The ones where you pay (again, a huge generalisation) are more likely to use an algorithm and match you with someone compatible.

[kaygee]

I'll offer my 2¢ worth:

Some things can be disclosed online or via email; but some things must be face to face.

I have a slightly similar situation:
I've had an online friend, Mary, for 6-8 years.
She knows me as female; I know her as female.
We are both in our late 60s.
We live in different cities in VA, ~130 km apart.

We finally had a chance to meet last year.
AFAIK, neither of us was interested i sex. She is married to a man; I was married to a woman. (now widowed)

In June of last year I drove to her city & we had lunch at a restaurant we both like.

We hit it off famously!
Like we could not get enough of each other.
Just 2 girlfriends having lunch.

Then in July of last year I contacted the gal who would later become my surgeon. (Keelee in NC)
I made an appointment for a consult in October.

FF to October 2019. I drive to her office ~260 km away in an adjoining state. (NC)
She likes what she sees; I like what I see.
Everything goes well and I grab the next available surgery date in March 2020.

I am officially pre-op!💃

FF to November 2019.
Cate and I again meet for lunch and get on marvelously!
We're both seeming to burst with excitement!
We can't wait to get together again!

FF to early March 2020.
Keelee does my surgery. Success!🎉
One week later, the nation goes into lockdown.🤬

I still needed aftercare, and had difficulty getting it, largely due to the pandemic.
That difficulty and a few other factors resulted in me spending 7 weeks away from home in a few different hotels.

I told my online friends, including Cate, that I was in NC, undergoing a procedure, and having difficulty getting home. Cate pressed mer for specifics, and I told her (truthfully) that I had a torn labium.


And so while I wasn't dishonest, I was also not fully honest.
I need to 'fess up to everything with Cate.

But I won't do it online or via email.

Any psychologist will tell you that most inter-personal communication does not involve words.



I dunno if that answers your question or not, but I sure spent a bunch of words dancin' around it.😜

[DebbieB]

I met my wife on Match.com
In my profile, I included pictures of myself as Rex and as Debbie because I had not yet started HRT.
I also had a creative profile, something like

I'm a cross between Robin Williams, Jim Carey, Bill Gates, and Sean Connery
I'm goofy like Robin, crazy like Jim, a nerd like Bill, and an old geezer like Sean
I also have Madonna's fashion sense.

Looking for someone who enjoys laughing, and wants a long-term relationship.


Roughly 1,000 women saw this profile, and about a dozen were interested enough to follow-up.
Several wanted to meet, but we realized that it wasn't a good match.

When Lee messaged me she said "Dude, you're wearing a dress, what's that about?"
I sent her a 2 page e-mail explaining that I was transgender but had not transitioned yet.
I sent her my e-mail and my phone number and invited her to call me if she wanted to know more.

We ended up spending two weeks on the phone every night because I was working out of town.
We went to dinner at a sushi restaurant she liked, and by the end of the night she told me that she wanted to go to my place and meet Debbie.

Long story short, we dated for a year, we proposed to each other and got married a year later.
We've been together for 16 years and she has helped me do what I needed to do to be able to transition successfully.
We consider ourselves lesbians and enjoy being together as a lesbian couple.