Author Topic: When did you know it was time to go full time?  (Read 1479 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Rebecca28

  • ***
  • Posts: 70
  • Reputation: +1/-0
When did you know it was time to go full time?
« on: July 22, 2020, 04:45:52 pm »
Ladies,

I have been on HRT 5 months. I have a list of things I feel I need to do before I can go full time. When did you know it was time to make that plunge? I have an 11 month plan to go full time next summer after my child support ends. My therapist is really recommending me speed up my transition and get going full time faster. I feel like I need to complete at least the electrolysis on my face and at least be able to better blend. This will give me over a year of chest growth too. I want to change my name debt free too. So I can truly start a new life as me for the first time. I just feel like I need to learn makeup more and get my proverbial ducks in a row set up. Every day I am moving toward my goals on many different facets of this. Any advice is appreciated. This is my last summer in swim trunks!! No matter what! 

Online Northern Star Girl

  • Previously Alaskan Danielle
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 29,860
  • Reputation: +42/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • northernstargirl@susans.org
Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #1 on: July 22, 2020, 05:50:32 pm »
@danielle28
Dear Danielle:
While it is great to formulate a plan that includes the dates for your full-time goals, your body may not always cooperate with your HRT and other cosmetic changes.

The time to finally go Full Time is a decision that can only be made by you, you are the one that knows best about your issues with family members, relationships, employment, finances, obligations, etc.

After reading and thinking about what you stated, I might tend to agree with your therapist to speed up things a little.  Waiting till all of your ducks are in a row sounds logical but that day may be further in the future than you wish. 

Before I finally went full-time, I frequently went out and about with the best possible appearance that I could, sometimes for the entire weekend or even some of my vacation time...

I wasn't fully ready for full time but it was important to get the experience of getting out there and watching and learning... and even enduring some nasty comments and staring.   That really helped me to understand more fully what my strong points were and what were my weak points.   

I had a woman friend that at times would go out there with me and give me suggestions and pointers, plus there is the factor of safety in numbers and not doing it alone... the support of her being with me as I ventured out was invaluable... and to fend off those that were not very pleasant with their comments.   While I practiced my makeup and details about how to dress, she would be there sometimes to get me going in the right direction.

I really hope that you can glean something helpful from what I wrote...  I will be looking forward to reading your updates as you feel so inclined to share.

HUGS and best wishes,
From another Danielle

Ladies,

I have been on HRT 5 months. I have a list of things I feel I need to do before I can go full time. When did you know it was time to make that plunge? I have an 11 month plan to go full time next summer after my child support ends. My therapist is really recommending me speed up my transition and get going full time faster. I feel like I need to complete at least the electrolysis on my face and at least be able to better blend. This will give me over a year of chest growth too. I want to change my name debt free too. So I can truly start a new life as me for the first time. I just feel like I need to learn makeup more and get my proverbial ducks in a row set up. Every day I am moving toward my goals on many different facets of this. Any advice is appreciated. This is my last summer in swim trunks!! No matter what!
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline Danielle Kristina

  • Friend
  • ****
  • Posts: 348
  • Reputation: +1/-0
Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #2 on: July 22, 2020, 05:59:10 pm »
I’m not full time yet, but I know that at some point I will be.  I’ll have to go full time.  My dysphoria won’t let me pretend to be cis forever.  Until two years ago I thought I was cis.  Then suddenly my feminine feelings exploded!  I began dressing full time around the house (outside I still presented as male); began wearing panties full time; even began sitting to pee full time.  These were things I didn’t do for years but suddenly was overcome by the NEED to.  My dysphoria had become its strongest and now I know it will only get even stronger from here.  Right now I’m slowly coming out to friends and family.  Once I’ve come out completely I will begin living full time as my authentic self.  As scared of this as I am, I’m also very much looking forward to it!


Danielle

Online Northern Star Girl

  • Previously Alaskan Danielle
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 29,860
  • Reputation: +42/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • northernstargirl@susans.org
Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #3 on: July 22, 2020, 06:13:01 pm »
@Danielle Kristina    @danielle28

WOWzers... we should start a "Danielle" club !!!   
Three of us on this thread!!!


HUGS and best wishes to both of you as you head toward your Full-time goals in your journey.

There is lots of good information and informative posts and threads from member here that are
going through what you are experiencing.  Take some time and do some searching, reading and posting.

Danielle  (Northern Star Girl)
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline Rakel

  • Formerly known as Dani
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 3,374
  • Reputation: +45/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Rakel@susans.org
Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #4 on: July 22, 2020, 06:47:07 pm »
@Danielle Kristina    @danielle28

WOWzers... we should start a "Danielle" club !!!   
Three of us on this thread!!!

Danielle  (Northern Star Girl)

Make that a fourth Danielle. When I first signed on to Susan's Place, I was thinking of Danielle for my new name. That did not work out, but I did.

When I transitioned, I went into a period of androgynous clothing, until things began to become very obvious. Then it was no big deal. If the size fits wear it.  ;)





_______________________________________________________________

Retired Pharmacist with over 40 years experience in Hospital and Retail Pharmacies.
I still keep my professional licence active and in good standing.


Offline Rebecca28

  • ***
  • Posts: 70
  • Reputation: +1/-0
Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #5 on: July 22, 2020, 07:34:54 pm »
Thank you sister Danielle’s.. I appreciate the advice! I am really struggling with the timing because  the advice from Danielle was so true.  Thank you for your feedback.

Offline Jessica_Rose

  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 1,171
  • Reputation: +116/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #6 on: July 22, 2020, 08:18:47 pm »
I hope you don't mind if a non-Danielle chimes in. If it helps, one of my best friends is named 'Danielle'!

I had planned to wait 12 months after starting HRT to go full time. At the 10-month point I experienced a round of euphoria that lasted about two hours. It was a bit frightening at first because I had never experienced it before. I took that as a sign that it was time. A few days later I submitted the paperwork for a legal name change. For the first time ever, I dressed fully as a woman and went out in public so I could visit my doctor to get a form allowing me to change the gender on my drivers license. Within two weeks of becoming euphoric, my name change was complete. I announced my transition at work on a Friday. Over the weekend I visited a hair salon, got my ears pierced, learned some very basic makeup, and bought a few more clothes. Monday morning, Jessica was at her desk.

I never had voice therapy like I planned, and the only surgery I had at that point was a trachea shave. I look at photos from then and think 'wow, I was really brave', although in reality I know it was an act of desperation. Those first few weeks as Jessica were tough, but everything has worked out well. I wish you all the best.

Love always -- Jessica Rose
Journal thread - Jessica's Rose Garden
National Coming Out Day video - Coming Out - Jessica Rose
GCS Thread - GCS and BA with Dr. Ley on 21 Feb 2019 - Jessica_Rose
GCS II and FFS Thread - GCS II and FFS with Dr. Ley on 26 July 2019 - Jessica_Rose
23Mar2017 Started Estradiol / 16Feb2018 Full Time! / 21Feb2019 GCS Dr. Ley / 26July2019 GCS II & FFS Dr. Ley

Don't let others tell you who you are. Be yourself, the world will adjust. -- Jessica Rose

Offline Rebecca28

  • ***
  • Posts: 70
  • Reputation: +1/-0
Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #7 on: July 22, 2020, 09:19:59 pm »
Thank you so much Jessica for your sharing. I was kind of wondering if that happens to more of our sisters. That inner feeling from the heart that’s says it’s time. It’s my case it’s complicated by having teenage daughters. One I know knows. The other I am not sure and want to meet with both my girls after my youngest graduates next summer. I want to line up counseling for them with their colleges and to share my story with them so they know of my life long struggle. I just want to be comfortable in my own body. Each day I work on something to help inch me closer to my goals and ultimately to blend in. My boss knows and has been great and supportive. I am very lucky there.

Offline Alice

  • *
  • Posts: 91
  • Reputation: +15/-0
  • Gender: Female
    • The Battle Within
Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #8 on: July 22, 2020, 09:55:37 pm »
Danielle,

I had my plans to go full time from at least 12 to 18 months before it occurred and I was actively planing it for a good 4 months. I was waiting for my hair to grow and also wanted to ensure my HRT was working.

Because of the way our work was structured it made sense to wait for the start of the financial year and plan events around that time such as staff training. I basically had a 3 day break in July last year for our staff members to be ready for the change.

Alice


Offline Erika_

  • Friend
  • ****
  • Posts: 204
  • Reputation: +3/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #9 on: July 22, 2020, 10:00:02 pm »
I jumped in with both feet and went full time pre HRT, I just couldn't wait.

Offline Rebecca28

  • ***
  • Posts: 70
  • Reputation: +1/-0
Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #10 on: July 23, 2020, 02:47:08 pm »
Alice, that’s awesome.. I just feel like I have a lot to do and a ways to go before I am passing. My goal really is each day to move closer. Like HRT it seems slow but then I look in the mirror and am like wow!! So in I know slow and steady accomplishes my goal over time. I applaud you Erika for going for it faster. The one thing I know for sure is I am not going back!!


Offline Oldandcreaky

  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 561
  • Reputation: +9/-0
Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #11 on: July 23, 2020, 04:26:12 pm »
I went full time when my appearance compelled it. A couple years of estrogen and the removal of face and body hair made passing as male pretty iffy, even though I kept my hair short and always wore a tie and jacket to help people read me as male. 

Offline Oldandcreaky

  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 561
  • Reputation: +9/-0
Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #12 on: July 23, 2020, 04:29:30 pm »
I wasn't fully ready for full time but it was important to get the experience of getting out there and watching and learning... and even enduring some nasty comments and staring.   That really helped me to understand more fully what my strong points were and what were my weak points.   

I had a woman friend that at times would go out there with me and give me suggestions and pointers, plus there is the factor of safety in numbers and not doing it alone... the support of her being with me as I ventured out was invaluable... and to fend off those that were not very pleasant with their comments.   While I practiced my makeup and details about how to dress, she would be there sometimes to get me going in the right direction.

^Great advice^

Offline Jenny_Oh

  • Friend
  • ****
  • Posts: 204
  • Reputation: +5/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman - SdB
Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #13 on: July 23, 2020, 04:47:53 pm »
I have been on HRT 5 months. I have a list of things I feel I need to do before I can go full time. When did you know it was time to make that plunge? I just feel like I need to learn makeup more and get my proverbial ducks in a row set up.

Well, I had planned to start electrolysis in the fall and was thinking about going full time some time in 2021, but my timetable got moved up :o Waay too many people know by now, like basically most of my family, friends, neighbors and colleagues. The rumor mill did its work and the physical changes are pretty obvious now so ... submitting my name change next week and if I ever physically return to work it will be as Jennifer. My ducks are most certainly not in a row, in fact life is chaos, no work clothes, no electrolysis, no orchiectomy and still stuck on transdermal gel. But I'm definitely a woman  ;D ;D
    

Offline Pammie

  • *
  • Posts: 1,880
  • Reputation: +13/-0
Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #14 on: July 23, 2020, 04:57:03 pm »
Well, I had planned to start electrolysis in the fall and was thinking about going full time some time in 2021, but my timetable got moved up :o Waay too many people know by now, like basically most of my family, friends, neighbors and colleagues. The rumor mill did its work and the physical changes are pretty obvious now so ... submitting my name change next week and if I ever physically return to work it will be as Jennifer. My ducks are most certainly not in a row, in fact life is chaos, no work clothes, no electrolysis, no orchiectomy and still stuck on transdermal gel. But I'm definitely a woman  ;D ;D
Hun, lots of us went full time without surgery
Tbh given the NHS waiting lists I would be waiting years if surgery had been a prerequisite for going full time.
I use the transdermal gel too, I take it you want to have a different regime?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Offline Rebecca28

  • ***
  • Posts: 70
  • Reputation: +1/-0
Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #15 on: July 23, 2020, 05:07:43 pm »
I have a group of my most trusted friends and mom and my brother know. They are very supportive. I am just not close to being able to blend yet. My girls are annoyingly growing. I couldn’t be any more happier with their growth. My 5th electrolysis appointment is tomorrow. So I am On my way.

Offline ChrissyRyan

  • “Have a gentle manner”
  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 26,048
  • Reputation: +32/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • No act of kindness, however small, is wasted.
Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #16 on: July 23, 2020, 07:20:47 pm »
I still have not hit the magic wall that tells me I must.

Some days the feelings are very strong to do so.


Chrissy
Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline Rebecca28

  • ***
  • Posts: 70
  • Reputation: +1/-0
Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #17 on: July 24, 2020, 10:27:57 pm »
I know ultimately, the decision is mine to make. Today after a road trip and time to think about this. I am going to keep inching my way toward my goals without a set time frame. I will know when it will be time. I will listen to my heart. I think for me that’s the way to go. I appreciate everyone sharing their perspective and advice with me. If others would like to share I will appreciate your advice as well!  Hugs, Danielle

Online Northern Star Girl

  • Previously Alaskan Danielle
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 29,860
  • Reputation: +42/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • northernstargirl@susans.org
Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #18 on: July 24, 2020, 10:48:37 pm »
I know ultimately, the decision is mine to make. Today after a road trip and time to think about this. I am going to keep inching my way toward my goals without a set time frame. I will know when it will be time. I will listen to my heart. I think for me that’s the way to go. I appreciate everyone sharing their perspective and advice with me. If others would like to share I will appreciate your advice as well!  Hugs, Danielle

@danielle28

Dear Danielle:
I am so glad to read that you have postulated a workable plan for your Full-Time and possible relocation decisions.
As has been discussed on this thread with the various comments from others, it can be a difficult thing to know for sure what exactly one needs to do...

As you aptly stated, the decision is obviously yours alone to make.
I wish you well as you go forward in careful and considered steps.

Your readers and followers here are your biggest fans and we are always rooting for your success.
As you feel comfortable doing please keep us updated from time to time.

HUGS and more HUGS,

Danielle (Northern Star Girl)
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline Sophiaprincess2019

  • *
  • Posts: 664
  • Reputation: +4/-0
  • Gender: Female
    • www.tickerfactory.com
Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #19 on: July 24, 2020, 11:04:34 pm »
. My therapist is really recommending me speed up my transition and get going full time faster.

Hi Danielle, after reading your post the part where your therapist recommending you "speed up" is horrible advice. It's not your therapist's place to recommend what speed you transition. I've found slowing down and not rushing puts me at ease because I don't feel rushed. Allow yourself time to mentally adjust, this is a life changing decision to become your true self and we need time to allow our minds to catch up.

As far as knowing when to go full time: Personally I knew it was time when I could not present male even after I tried hard a few last times. The last time I "played dress up" and tried to look like a boy I failed miserably! I was so happy!
You'll know when it's your time. You'll get an inner sense that dressing like a man is foreign, then it might be a "right" time.  Wherever life takes you I wish you well. You got this!

Sophia
1968 Assigned male at birth with feminine mannerisms
1978 Dolls and dresses
1988 Experimental stage, limited makeup and clothes
1998 Denial continues, unsuccessfully tried living as a man
12-8-2018 Knew I was a woman, time for a change....
2-22-2019 Started HRT
8-9-2019 Legal Name Change
8-14-2019 New Drivers License issued with correct gender
9-5-2019 Social Security card updated
10-12-2019 Birth certificate updated
2-22-2020 One year HRT

Tags: