Author Topic: When did you know it was time to go full time?  (Read 1496 times)

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Offline Rebecca28

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Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #40 on: July 29, 2020, 06:36:59 am »
Kate,
So full time was probably more when my wife was comfortable with it, as much as having the wardrobe to support it.

Thanks for sharing more of your journey. I knew it wasn’t as simple as buying new clothes. So glad you had a partner to go on your journey with you!! I have been going through my guy clothing to decide what’s staying. So far just a black suit and my boys scout uniform with my Eagle on it. I think my daughters and future grand kids will want to see that. Other than that everything else is going and soon. I have just switched over to panties full time and all women’s shorts, jeans, socks and tshirts that are more androgynous. It takes time: I have a dress I can’t wait to wear out!! Thanks for sharing more of your journey with me!

Offline Rebecca28

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Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #41 on: July 29, 2020, 07:08:11 am »
Allie,

Thank you for sharing your journey. This is all I want from my journey as well.!! “I am still very happy about all of this and would not trade my past life nor this new life for anything, even if I was a very late transitioner.  I truly enjoyed both lives and have no regrets.”

Offline Nadine Spirit

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Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #42 on: July 30, 2020, 07:25:43 am »
Personally I never had any intentions of going full time.  I simply thought I would change my hormones and see how that worked out for me and my personal mental goals.  It worked very well, much more so than I thought it would.  That was July 2017.  The choice of changing my hormones had a bit of a domino effect.

When I first got my prescription for HRT I was quite shocked when trying to fill it the pharmacy told me my insurance would not pay for it even though they paid for my wife's estrogen and we both work for the same company.  Anywho..... this led to me charging my employer with discrimination at the EEOC.  That led to mediation which led to me agreeing to legally change my gender to get my companies insurance to pay for my E without the company having to change it's anti-transgender policy.  With the EEOC employees informing me of the reality of my situation and what moving forward with a federal lawsuit against my employer would entail and the likelihood of winning that case under Trump's watch, I agreed to sign the mediation paperwork. 

They told me I only needed to change my legal gender but not my name.  I laughed at them.  I pursued a legal transition at that point.  I still had no true intention of going full time.  People asked what my intentions were and I told them I did not know.  However, once I was sitting before the judge, waiting for him to swing that gavel and make the pronouncement, I realized just how important all of this is to me.  When he pronounced me as my new name and gender and his gavel hit his table, I knew then that I would never pretend to be something I am not.  That was the moment I decided to go full time. 

Nobody can tell you when it is right for you.  When you know, you'll know.  Good luck!


Offline Ellie_Arroway

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Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #43 on: July 30, 2020, 05:34:15 pm »
Full time for me was as soon as I realised how much happier I felt presenting as a woman and had come out to everyone in work; one of the scariest moments of my life, and something I now consider a solid achievement.

It was within two months of me starting to experiment. Through experiment, I determined I was transgender. You can read about it in my thread that is linked in the signature if you wish.

I said to my therapist, why should I wait? Let's get on with it. And it just went from there, really. I also expected to go slower than I ended up doing. The day after coming out at work, I was fully dressed as female there.
Started seriously questioning: 24 Aug 2019
Referred to GIC: 23 Sep 2019
Full-time female presentation since: 21 Oct 2019, unbroken since 12 Dec 2019
Official name change by deed poll: 11 Nov 2019
HRT: "kind of" started 15 Jul 2020
Most of my story is in the Just another mtf tale thread!
Twitch streamer MusicEllie

Offline Rebecca28

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Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #44 on: July 30, 2020, 06:43:17 pm »
Ellie and Nadine,

Thank you so much for sharing your journey with me. My therapist, I think felt like yours Ellie. Why wait?? For me I have a lot to do before I feel like I am ready. So it’s hard. I take one day at a time.

Thanks for two very different perspectives. I appreciate your taking time to share with me!!

Hugs, Danielle

Offline ramilove

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Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #45 on: August 01, 2020, 09:01:50 am »
I am literally playing my transition by ear these days. I started my plan and then lock down ended my electrolysis, my yoga classes, in person group sessions and going out with the girls after group. So for the time being I am letting the hormones drive my transition timeline.
Electrolysis 3/4/2020
Estradiol 3/10/2020

Offline Rebecca28

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Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #46 on: August 01, 2020, 12:51:33 pm »
Ramilove, that’s awesome what your doing. Fortunately my electrolysis and therapy have started back up recently. My summer cold this week has brought that to a stop. My support group is all on zoom right now. Are you doing anything in particular to let your hormones drive your transition. I know my hormones are growing my girls right now.. ever so annoyingly painful!  I am getting used to it. It just bothers me more at night! I love seeing my bra cup getting fuller.

Offline Birdie on a Wire

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Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #47 on: August 03, 2020, 03:36:42 pm »
Hello everyone.
New here to Susan’s Place but thought I’d offer what’s been my experience.  One thing I should probably state is my dysphoria isn’t very extreme.

So my process has been very similar to what Danielle described as far as getting things lined up so she felt confident that she blended well.  I plan on playing the long game and don’t plan on living full time until I get my ducks in a row and just completely fail as my gender assigned at birth every time I go out… slow and steady wins the race. 

I totally understand those who simply can’t wait and MUST transition as soon as possible but I’m very fortunate (and it sounds like Danielle might be as well) to have the luxury of playing the long game. 
Practicing as much as I can to blend in has allowed me to feel confident that I won’t get assaulted or murdered while I’m out just living my life.  That strategy has served me pretty well so far.
« Last Edit: August 03, 2020, 09:09:53 pm by Birdie on a Wire »

Offline Rebecca28

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Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #48 on: August 03, 2020, 07:27:28 pm »
Birdie on a wire,

Thank you for sharing your experience. I agree with you. I live in a city with a high murder rate and it’s scary. I have looked into buying a firearm in case I ever need it. I have many reasons for not owning one but as my transition progresses the peace of mind having one is appealing to me. I just want to blend in and live and enjoy my life like any other woman. Sounds like your in a similar journey As far as time and planning with me. I hope you share more of your journey in the future. I love our sisters that can just go for it right now in their lives. Unfortunately I just can’t at the moment and it’s ok. I am taking a more planned approach. Thanks for your sharing!  Danielle!

Offline Birdie on a Wire

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Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #49 on: August 03, 2020, 09:33:20 pm »
Birdie on a wire,
"....I love our sisters that can just go for it right now in their lives."
I know right!
I can't help but think that some of that has to do with personality. I've always been one that was rather averse to risk and with really big things, I want to know the plan ahead of time. 

I'm quite envious of those transgirls and transguys who just thumb their nose at society and march out in to the world doin' their thing, passing or not.

"Unfortunately I just can’t at the moment and it’s ok. I am taking a more planned approach. Thanks for your sharing! Danielle!"
I totally get it and I'm right there with you. Circumstances, such that they are... well, it just isn't quite time for me either.  Need more planning.  More practicing.

But my therapist said something recently that really has me thinking. He said, "you know... it isn't really a matter of 'if' you come out as transgender.  It's 'how'. Because the changes from hormone therapy will eventually be noticeable. So the question you should ponder is how do you want your siblings, coworkers, neighbors and friends find out?"  I think I'd rather them hear it from me and on my terms instead of one person telling another, telling another.

I went back and looked at your original post.  I think your methodical, deliberate approach is sound and your reasons justifiable and valid.

You got this!

Offline Rebecca28

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Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #50 on: August 04, 2020, 04:09:09 pm »
Birdie on a wire,

Thank you so much for your support and encouragement.

“But my therapist said something recently that really has me thinking. He said, "you know... it isn't really a matter of 'if' you come out as transgender.  It's 'how'. Because the changes from hormone therapy will eventually be noticeable. So the question you should ponder is how do you want your siblings, coworkers, neighbors and friends find out?"  I think I'd rather them hear it from me and on my terms instead of one person telling another, telling another.”

I have thought about this too a lot.. In my case, I have come out to a core of real friends who have all been supportive. My brother, mom and oldest daughter know. My youngest I am not sure about but will tell next summer after she graduates. I have no doubt she won’t care and may already know. My boss and two support groups know and are supportive. It’s my dad with a big mouth that’s a challenge for me. He won’t be told until after my daughter and when I am ready  for him to broadcast it to the world. I still have so much I need to do. Even my mom was helping me with a new name today. I have a first name picked out and was going to use my dead name feminine version as my middle name. Now it’s going to be something my mom picked out so I can honor her choice and yet honor mine. Plus I liked moms choice. I felt like her daughter for the first time today.. Plus the name meaning fits me so well. I have looked at tons of names and narrowed them down to three. At some point I will have to figure out how to change my name on here. My point is that there is still so much to do. Everyday I work on something to move the needle further. So far everyone has been supportive. My growing chest is noticeable no doubt. But I can play it off as man boobs. Try running with out a sports bra.  they remind me real fast they are real boobs!  Lol!

thank you so much for your encouragement. It means a lot!! Hugs, Danielle

Offline SoCal_Holly

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Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #51 on: August 06, 2020, 05:44:07 am »
For someone who usually has plans within plans For everything, I’m just kind of winging it with transitioning depending on I’ll know what to do when I get there. Scary but I think in a good way because sometimes having expectations and semi-rigid schedule milestones can put undue pressure and really stress me out.

I guess instead of hurtling toward the end point, I want to look at the windows and enjoy the ride or at least enjoy the experience of the ride if that makes sense.

Hugs,

Holly

PS. Wow, Nadine good for you! I can only hope I would have enough courage to see that situation through especially as if transitioning isn’t already hard enough.

Online Devlyn

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Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #52 on: August 06, 2020, 06:45:09 am »
Ladies,

I have been on HRT 5 months. I have a list of things I feel I need to do before I can go full time. When did you know it was time to make that plunge? I have an 11 month plan to go full time next summer after my child support ends. My therapist is really recommending me speed up my transition and get going full time faster. I feel like I need to complete at least the electrolysis on my face and at least be able to better blend. This will give me over a year of chest growth too. I want to change my name debt free too. So I can truly start a new life as me for the first time. I just feel like I need to learn makeup more and get my proverbial ducks in a row set up. Every day I am moving toward my goals on many different facets of this. Any advice is appreciated. This is my last summer in swim trunks!! No matter what!

I went full-time including a name change, then went on HRT a year later. There's a million paths through these woods, you have to find your own.  :)

Hugs, Devlyn
Veteran, US Army

Offline Rebecca28

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Re: When did you know it was time to go full time?
« Reply #53 on: September 06, 2020, 12:05:25 pm »
Sophia,

Thanks for your advice. I have decided to not put a time frame on it. I will just keeping moving along at my own pace until I am ready. It’s not a matter of if but when. My support group here told me the courts locally are backed up due to Covid. So what was typically a month is now up to 6 months for a name change. Every day no matter what I keep moving forward toward my goal and am determined to over come any obstacles that come along my way!  I appreciate everyone sharing with me and encourage others to share this part of their journey with me. Hugs, Danielle

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