Author Topic: The tradeoff for Comfort is Ugliness  (Read 306 times)

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Offline mf2020

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The tradeoff for Comfort is Ugliness
« on: August 01, 2020, 01:20:15 am »
What is your choice?

After I have put on all the feminine
clothing I like I feel SO comfortable with it
but I have to honestly comment that I am so ugly....

Fat face, fat belly, this is what I cannot change
in short time, or possibly forever.....

What is your choice if you were me?
Would you still go out with the clothing that
even you yourself find it ugly ???

It is a difficult decision.








Offline Meghan

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Re: The tradeoff for Comfort is Ugliness
« Reply #1 on: August 01, 2020, 06:18:22 am »
I am like you become crossdresser for many years even at work, until I talked to my Therapist explains to her that I finally understand I am not alone for being transgender. She acknowledged when I was talked about transgender or crossdresser that when I was most happy and comfortable. She also asked what I want? I told her l know I never pass as a woman, but netherless I just want to be a woman. That when she gives me go ahead with my transition.

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Meghan Pham: MtF Transgender, Transsexual, Transwoman, social justice, Caregivers, Certified Nurse Assistant

Offline RandyL

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Re: The tradeoff for Comfort is Ugliness
« Reply #2 on: August 01, 2020, 09:44:50 am »
Often the hardest part of all this is self acceptance. Can you change your thinking about ugly? Are you comparing yourself to skinny, cis models? Many women have fat bellies and faces. Wear what you want and try to let yourself be happy in it.

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Offline Julielynn

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Re: The tradeoff for Comfort is Ugliness
« Reply #3 on: August 01, 2020, 03:08:54 pm »
Always remember that most women look nothing g like what you see on tv, the internet, or even the ones you notice in ads.   They are hired for those bods.  Because it is that unusual.  Women are targetted heavily to be thin and cute in everything.  Its everywhere.   Look around d in town walking down the street and you'll notice most aren't even close to those marketing ploys.  Chubby, out of shape, meh looks are more the norm.   

If you bother to take care of yourself in the least, you're probably more appealing than a lot of cis women right there. Weird but true.

Offline Meghan

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Re: The tradeoff for Comfort is Ugliness
« Reply #4 on: August 01, 2020, 06:36:21 pm »
Trying to look like VS models is like unrealistic dreams and add to frustration disappoint. Just accept for who you are and be happy with it

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Meghan Pham: MtF Transgender, Transsexual, Transwoman, social justice, Caregivers, Certified Nurse Assistant

Offline mf2020

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Re: The tradeoff for Comfort is Ugliness
« Reply #5 on: August 06, 2020, 05:35:52 pm »
Often the hardest part of all this is self acceptance. Can you change your thinking about ugly? Are you comparing yourself to skinny, cis models? Many women have fat bellies and faces. Wear what you want and try to let yourself be happy in it.

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NO NO NO NO No Definitely NOT. I have never had any idea of comparing myself, as a guy with fat belly and fat face, to a a skinny, sexy female model. However, I am not even comparable to most average or unattractive women when I have put on my female clothing. In fact, I am not so worried by going out as an unattractive "woman" if people cannot notice that I am a man immediately. However, I am so worried to be an unattractive cross-dresser because people could immediately notice that I am actually a man. I am over 1.7m, but almost 70kg, a typical man's face and body.....

Offline mf2020

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Re: The tradeoff for Comfort is Ugliness
« Reply #6 on: August 06, 2020, 05:36:41 pm »
Trying to look like VS models is like unrealistic dreams and add to frustration disappoint. Just accept for who you are and be happy with it

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I never, ever have an idea of comparing myself as an attractive woman model.

Offline mf2020

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Re: The tradeoff for Comfort is Ugliness
« Reply #7 on: August 07, 2020, 04:45:48 am »
Always remember that most women look nothing g like what you see on tv, the internet, or even the ones you notice in ads.   They are hired for those bods.  Because it is that unusual.  Women are targetted heavily to be thin and cute in everything.  Its everywhere.   Look around d in town walking down the street and you'll notice most aren't even close to those marketing ploys.  Chubby, out of shape, meh looks are more the norm.   

If you bother to take care of yourself in the least, you're probably more appealing than a lot of cis women right there. Weird but true.


Um.... I think I should explain in a different way.

What I still always feel so worried and nervous about after trying to go out with my feminine dressing for two years is that I think it is wired to be found, seen, and looked
by the other people. As a man who was raised, educated and has lived for decades as a
man, and now, wearing something contradictory to the tradition. That makes me feel so
nervous, so worried about how the other look at me even I know it is not necessary
to think about the others, but this feeling cannot go away...............

Offline RandyL

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Re: The tradeoff for Comfort is Ugliness
« Reply #8 on: August 07, 2020, 08:57:34 am »
Ok so we were off base about comparing yourself to others.

But it still sounds to me like you are having a hard time accepting yourself, accepting your urge to present femme, accepting how you look when you do so.

I am 1.88 m and 74 kg (6'2", 165 lb). At your height and weight I don't think you are out of range for looking female. At least in the US, many women are more fat than you.

Try looking for tips around here on things you can do to look more feminine to help yourself feel better. There are many threads and suggestions.

Then just go out and be yourself. Most people don't care and won't notice.

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Casting about for my best path forward...

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