Topic: The tradeoff for Comfort is Ugliness

[mf2020]

What is your choice?

After I have put on all the feminine
clothing I like I feel SO comfortable with it
but I have to honestly comment that I am so ugly....

Fat face, fat belly, this is what I cannot change
in short time, or possibly forever.....

What is your choice if you were me?
Would you still go out with the clothing that
even you yourself find it ugly

It is a difficult decision.

[Meghan]

I am like you become crossdresser for many years even at work, until I talked to my Therapist explains to her that I finally understand I am not alone for being transgender. She acknowledged when I was talked about transgender or crossdresser that when I was most happy and comfortable. She also asked what I want? I told her l know I never pass as a woman, but netherless I just want to be a woman. That when she gives me go ahead with my transition.

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[RandyL]

Often the hardest part of all this is self acceptance. Can you change your thinking about ugly? Are you comparing yourself to skinny, cis models? Many women have fat bellies and faces. Wear what you want and try to let yourself be happy in it.

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[Julielynn]

Always remember that most women look nothing g like what you see on tv, the internet, or even the ones you notice in ads.   They are hired for those bods.  Because it is that unusual.  Women are targetted heavily to be thin and cute in everything.  Its everywhere.   Look around d in town walking down the street and you'll notice most aren't even close to those marketing ploys.  Chubby, out of shape, meh looks are more the norm.   

If you bother to take care of yourself in the least, you're probably more appealing than a lot of cis women right there. Weird but true.

[Meghan]

Trying to look like VS models is like unrealistic dreams and add to frustration disappoint. Just accept for who you are and be happy with it

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[mf2020]

Often the hardest part of all this is self acceptance. Can you change your thinking about ugly? Are you comparing yourself to skinny, cis models? Many women have fat bellies and faces. Wear what you want and try to let yourself be happy in it.

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NO NO NO NO No Definitely NOT. I have never had any idea of comparing myself, as a guy with fat belly and fat face, to a a skinny, sexy female model. However, I am not even comparable to most average or unattractive women when I have put on my female clothing. In fact, I am not so worried by going out as an unattractive "woman" if people cannot notice that I am a man immediately. However, I am so worried to be an unattractive cross-dresser because people could immediately notice that I am actually a man. I am over 1.7m, but almost 70kg, a typical man's face and body.....

[mf2020]

Trying to look like VS models is like unrealistic dreams and add to frustration disappoint. Just accept for who you are and be happy with it

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I never, ever have an idea of comparing myself as an attractive woman model.

[mf2020]

Always remember that most women look nothing g like what you see on tv, the internet, or even the ones you notice in ads.   They are hired for those bods.  Because it is that unusual.  Women are targetted heavily to be thin and cute in everything.  Its everywhere.   Look around d in town walking down the street and you'll notice most aren't even close to those marketing ploys.  Chubby, out of shape, meh looks are more the norm.   

If you bother to take care of yourself in the least, you're probably more appealing than a lot of cis women right there. Weird but true.

Um.... I think I should explain in a different way.

What I still always feel so worried and nervous about after trying to go out with my feminine dressing for two years is that I think it is wired to be found, seen, and looked
by the other people. As a man who was raised, educated and has lived for decades as a
man, and now, wearing something contradictory to the tradition. That makes me feel so
nervous, so worried about how the other look at me even I know it is not necessary
to think about the others, but this feeling cannot go away...............

[RandyL]

Ok so we were off base about comparing yourself to others.

But it still sounds to me like you are having a hard time accepting yourself, accepting your urge to present femme, accepting how you look when you do so.

I am 1.88 m and 74 kg (6'2", 165 lb). At your height and weight I don't think you are out of range for looking female. At least in the US, many women are more fat than you.

Try looking for tips around here on things you can do to look more feminine to help yourself feel better. There are many threads and suggestions.

Then just go out and be yourself. Most people don't care and won't notice.

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[mf2020]

Ok so we were off base about comparing yourself to others.

But it still sounds to me like you are having a hard time accepting yourself, accepting your urge to present femme, accepting how you look when you do so.

I am 1.88 m and 74 kg (6'2", 165 lb). At your height and weight I don't think you are out of range for looking female. At least in the US, many women are more fat than you.

Try looking for tips around here on things you can do to look more feminine to help yourself feel better. There are many threads and suggestions.

Then just go out and be yourself. Most people don't care and won't notice.

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No.... A lot of people notice, I can see them stare at me strangely, I don't feel good, no one give me any trouble though. Yes, it is a difficult psychological barrier

[Maid Marion]

I'd suggest learning to eat less.  If you eat less eventually you will lose weight. 
Another option is to learn to  select better foods to eat.  Wendy's and McDonald's both have salads on their menu.
They also have small burgers, if you are on a budget.

Marion

[mf2020]

I'd suggest learning to eat less.  If you eat less eventually you will lose weight. 
Another option is to learn to  select better foods to eat.  Wendy's and McDonald's both have salads on their menu.
They also have small burgers, if you are on a budget.

Marion

How can I resist the temptation of eating ?

For long, I eat vegetables, I eat fruits, I eat healthily, I don't drink beer, I can exercise for many hours, but I am unable to resist the temptation of eating more when I am not very full, I have a strong faith that diet is more important than exercise. You can easily take in one coke but hard to burn it out.

I just cannot resist the temptation of eating or else I cannot focus on my work and stressful life.....

Sometimes I tell myself, now it's okay, you are full now, you have enough fats you won't die just stop eating more. However, I never succeed in stopping myself. I always need to make myself 100% or 120% full before I can stop. If I force to stop myself before 100% full I will just feel frustrated and my head is always reminded of food.......

[Maid Marion]

If you eat alone it may help to cook different foods individually and eat them as they are at just the right temperature.  This spreads the meal out so your body has a better chance of signaling that it is "full.'    I measure out food with a scale and cook single portions.  That way I never have to leave food on the plate.  I also work on improving recipes so they taste better.  I've been adding a little hot Italian sausage to my spaghetti for a bolder taste.

Marion

[CaelaNotKayla]

I went out in small bursts to start and built my confidence levels.  Each time I asked myself what I could do better and I picked one thing to work on before my next short trip. Makeup, clothes selection, hairstyle, voice were all things that I worked on.  Wearing a Covid mask was a real blessing, it added anonymity while I was experimenting.  Soon enough I was comfortable staying out longer and longer. 

I learned that it was really about me- not the people who I percieved staring at me.  It was my growing self confidence that made the worries of what other people thought lessen. It was my comfort level that allowed me to act more natural instead of accentuating all the small things that could call me out.

I'm well over 70kg, and if I'm happy with the girl in the mirror then other folks opinions are just white noise!

Hugs!

Caela

[barbie]

How can I resist the temptation of eating ?

I know well it is not easy at all. Nowadays I become hungry again in just an hour after having a meal, as I am doing both diet and exercise. My height is 184 cm (6 feet), and my body weight has decreased from 73 to 66 kg (161 to 146 lbs) during the past 2 months. My goal is 65 kg (143 lbs). I just avoid carbohydrates, but I always feel hunger. I eat a lot of fish, vegetables, eggs and etc.

Yesterday I was so hungry, and I went to a Japanese-style restaurant here with my family.



What I am drinking is not water. It's a 25% alcohol beverage. I ate all kinds of seafood together with corn and vegetables. At midnight, I could not sleep because of hunger. I drank a half bottle of red wine with peanuts, dried fish and grilled mackerel. In the morning, my body weight will have increased by 1 kg (2 lbs).

Then I run at least once a week. I started running in 2003. For example, last Saturday:





The bottom line is that my body weight is nearly the same despite all these efforts. I guess I could decrease my body weight by 0.5 kg (1 lbs) every week by diet and exercising.





In 2003, my lowest body weight was the same: 65 kg (143 lbs). My goal is just to reach it again.

barbie~~

[C-Woo]

I'd suggest learning to eat less.  If you eat less eventually you will lose weight. 
Another option is to learn to  select better foods to eat.  Wendy's and McDonald's both have salads on their menu.
They also have small burgers, if you are on a budget.

Marion

This is more or less, what i came here to say lol.
fortunatly if you're disillusioned due to your weight, that is a fixable problem! not only will your confidence grow, and all the major medical benefits of being in better health, but you'll be able to find cuter things to wear!!
you can do it!

Also.... Make Up does wonders

[JennyTG]

I'd suggest learning to eat less.  If you eat less eventually you will lose weight. 
Another option is to learn to  select better foods to eat.  Wendy's and McDonald's both have salads on their menu.
They also have small burgers, if you are on a budget.

Marion

I don't think I could ever do a burger again unless veggie, and will always opt for salads at these places.