Author Topic: New Here; my story so far  (Read 173 times)

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Offline borntrans

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New Here; my story so far
« on: August 10, 2020, 11:52:01 pm »
Hi everyone I'm new here, almost in my mid 30s. I've read stuff online about people transitioning and getting jealous! When I was in high school I used to get jealous of the girls and once and a while feel super depressed and feel like wearing girls clothes, I used to dream wishing I could wake up a girl I never knew anything about what transgender was or I could transition back then. I kinda learned about this stuff in the past 5 years slowly realizing I was born in the wrong body and the more I read I really might have gender dysphoria. I've always had a feminine side I suppressed but never worked out so after reading some trans people suggest to "try" in the past couple years and hearing peoples storys of transitioning some parts really struck home how some details are similar or the same. I have tried to not suppress the girl in me, if it was nothing then why do I feel better? my mental state has got much better already. Sometimes I cant wait to go home and go in girl mode.

In the past year I've been wearing more female clothing and some days I wear womans clothes more than mens I can't explain I feel more comfortable. I finally got a few things to wear. I got over the fear of buying womens clothes 2 years ago people give me weird looks but I find many assume I'm buying for a girlfriend, I can't say I have had a girlfriend but I would like to have a child one day then maybe I will transition more.

I already have some breast growth and I never had HRT, with a bra on I'm happy with small boobs they are cute. I went out in public once last winter for 5 minutes to go to the store and back and thats the most I've gone outside. Too afraid in the summer because I don't know if people will see me leaving my apt with womans clothes.

I know a few people who make jokes about me being like a girl and having drinks ladies usually have maybe they suspect already lol but I haven't come out yet I do have a YouTube channel and my one documentary could actually help a lot of trans people but I did not mention trans in the film out of fear. I'm afraid of people finding out, mostly fear people won't accept me. in high school everyone asked if I was gay, honestly I don't think I am im attracted to the opposite sex :p ive only dated women but never had luck in getting a relationship to last more than a month. I hope to get some dating experience but it's really hard maybe id have better luck dating as a female. ;) Im not closed minded but I don't pass enough yet to feel comfortable dating, maybe after months of HRT and learning makeup.

maybe I should try and find a doctor locally to prescribe HRT from the sounds of it there would be a lot of waiting. I don't have money for a sperm bank, has anyone had success still producing some sperm with HRT or does it completely go away after months of use? Im getting older and I don't want to wait too long as I already wasted a lot of my life. ive thought about saving for a sperm bank but might take me couple years to save the money.

I thought to post here since I've read some posts over the past year, I'm a little confused still but I won't get far not asking for help so I finally joined <3 sorry for the long post.

Offline Northern Star Girl

  • Previously Alaskan Danielle
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Re: New Here; my story so far
« Reply #1 on: August 10, 2020, 11:57:16 pm »
Dear BornTrans:
    No doubt that you have seen other brand new members here get Official Welcome messages when they make their first posting.... now it is your turn!!!

    FIRST THINGS FIRST, you need to be Officially Welcomed and given important rules and information about the Susan's Place Forums.
    I am happy to see that you come out of the Reader Zone and now have signed up as a member of Susan's Place and have submitted your first posting. 

    As you post here on the forums you will be able to exchange thoughts and comments with others that are experiencing many of the same things that you wrote about.
    This is the right place for you to be to find out what others may have to say that may have been in your circumstances and with your questions and concerns.
    There are a lot of members here that will be able to identify with your situation as you continue to feel free to share it.
    I also want to warmly WELCOME you to Susan's Place
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.

    As you are certainly aware you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members.  When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
     ***There is a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new like-minded friends here. 

    Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.   Other members will be along shortly to give you their thoughts about your questions and concerns that you mentioned in your very first posting.
    There is information and important LINKS that I have included below.   You will find information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.   
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:
Things that you should read
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline Maid Marion

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Re: New Here; my story so far
« Reply #2 on: August 11, 2020, 08:30:38 am »
Hi Borntrans,



Offline borntrans

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Re: New Here; my story so far
« Reply #3 on: August 11, 2020, 03:25:35 pm »
Thanks for the welcome :)

Offline Susannah

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Re: New Here; my story so far
« Reply #4 on: August 11, 2020, 08:02:49 pm »
Welcome.  Many helpful people here and we can all relate to your experiences.


Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: New Here; my story so far
« Reply #5 on: August 11, 2020, 08:32:11 pm »


Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.