I don’t see it as ‘leaving your life behind’, I see it as taking a new path on your life’s journey. People very rarely stay in one house, one job and the same relationship status for for life, each time you change job, form a new relationship, end one, or move you are making a huge leap in faith and shifting the direction your life will take,
I thought about that ten years ago when I was going through my divorce, this was before I had my gender identity crisis. It has an appeal, a complete putting aside what has happened up until now and stepping off in a new direction. If I knew then what I knew now I definitely would have done it, my life would have set off in a new direction without a doubt. As it happens I am so happy with where I am now but endured a few years of hell because of my lack of courage, but hey the universe is finally unfolding and revealing her plan for me.
I think a lot of it comes down to money. Many people feel trapped by job insecurity and the cost of moving. In the U.K. healthcare isn’t a problem neither should discrimination as its against the law but I can see in the US that healthcare is very much tied to a job and from what we hear over the pond, protection from discrimination is patchy to absolutely hostile depending on location.
By moving will you lose a supportive network or will you be moving from a hostile environment? If hostility is coming from family then move. This nonsense about ‘ family being everything’ tends to be one way when it’s thrown in your face. Being alone is better than living in the middle of hostility. Start to sound out support networks before you move, get those established, likewise with employment, healthcare and accommodation.
When you move, you present yourself as you are, people will accept that or not. Those that accept you at the start of transition and become friends are keepers. Say you move, you start living as who you are meant to be whether you start transition or not, you grow in confidence, at some time you may want to visit family, neutral territory say a restaurant, but this time you are seeing them on your terms, they accept you and want to be part of your life or not. In which case, carry on with your life
Your move may be permanent or you may plan on it being temporary. If you really like where you are living now you could leave as ‘Bob’ and after two years travelling or just a break in a new place, come back as ‘Roberta’ and depending on people’s memories and how much you have changed you will be free to resume living in your home town- depending on size and population of course.
If you decide to stay then it will be difficult, you will face difficulties whether you leave or stay. If you stay, you set the terms, set up a new private footprint on social media that you control and do not allow anyone access from the past, use an innocuous profile name, picture and avatar that you cannot be ice fire from. Maintain your old one, if only to gauge what the atmospherics are like, but don’t be active or at least be so bland and mention absolutely nothing about your developing identity/transition, no posting selfies, change your profile pictures/avatars to something innocuous, pets are always a good idea. Quietly and over time block and unfriend people. Set up a different email address and have two mobile phones, that way it eliminates ‘leakage’. Be aware Facebook will suggest your new profile to people on your old profile if you use the same IP address! Do what I’ve done, create a new profile, an innocuous profile picture and avatar, set my home town as being 150 miles away and my job as something completely different.
Whatever you do, plan long term and have an exit strategy.
Good luck.
