Author Topic: Trans and smoking  (Read 295 times)

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Offline Anastasia

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Trans and smoking
« on: November 12, 2020, 07:58:17 pm »
First, let me say, I know I need to quit smoking. Its will/is wrecking my health, it's dirty and smells bad and is an issue for HRT.

I went shopping today, fully dressed. I went birthday shopping for my youngest daughter (when did she turn 4, nuch less 13) and went to Kohls, Belks and a couple of other stores. I went to Victotias Secret and Sephora for myself and the post office, bank, grocery store and gas station. From the time I left the house at 8:30 until I got home at 5 ish, I didn't smoke a single cigarette.  It wasnt that I was able to say no, it never crossed my mind to have one. Once I got home and back into male mode, the urge finally hit. I tried to resist, but for now, Resistance is Futile.

I have always jokingly told myself that my male side shares this brain with me and that we own and operate our own halves. But now I wonder if it is such a joke. I have told myself that he smokes, she doesnt, and I almost hear
her voice saying "Damn right I don't!".

Does anybody else have this sort of dichotomy between their male/female sides, or is this normal, more or less? I understand that of course when I can be myself I'm going to act a little different, but this represents the arrest of addiction processes in the brain. I probably haven't used the best terms and phrases to describe whats going on in my head-i don't hear voices and I know that however I am expressing myself in public, it is still me out there, there aren't 2 different people in my head.

I wonder if I could live as Anastasia for a few weeks if male me would become an ex-smoker. Either way, I now know I CAN comfortably go 8,9 hours without. That is the most optimistic thing I have heard on this battle in a long time.

Offline Gertrude

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Re: Trans and smoking
« Reply #1 on: November 12, 2020, 08:17:45 pm »
It's more of addiction. For you it's cigarettes, for me it's food. It's a diversion to not deal with what needs to be dealt with.

Offline Lady Sarah

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Re: Trans and smoking
« Reply #2 on: November 12, 2020, 10:17:28 pm »
Chances are you were too busy having fun with shopping to have a smoke, so your brain did not register that you needed the nicotine. When you finally got to unwind and relax, you needed that nicotine. I have gone 12 hours without needing nicotine when really busy with something I could not take a break from.

I gave up the stinky cancer sticks 5 1/2 years ago by switching to vaping. That can also be dangerous to your health if you get the juice from the wrong sources. I buy the individual ingredients (all are food grade except the USDA grade nicotine) and I mix my own juice.

You can try to quit cold turkey, and pray you don't start smoking again like I have the previous 2 times I quit. The patches are a waste of money. The gum is nasty. You could look into other options if you want to quit. I don't want to tell you what to do. I'm just telling you my experiences with quitting.
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Offline barbie

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Re: Trans and smoking
« Reply #3 on: November 13, 2020, 02:31:47 pm »
A stereotype here in South Korea once was that ladies do not smoke. But nowadays some young college student girls do smoke, and I guess the main reason is for diet. I once quitted smoking for 7 months, but a strong depression made me smoke again. With 5-inch heels, I already look striking, and smoking actually makes passing more difficult. But, fortunately, another stereotype here is that foreign women are tall and do smoke, and many people think I am a foreigner, speaking to me in English.

 

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Offline Rakel

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Re: Trans and smoking
« Reply #4 on: November 13, 2020, 07:09:59 pm »
I wonder if I could live as Anastasia for a few weeks if male me would become an ex-smoker. Either way, I now know I CAN comfortably go 8,9 hours without. That is the most optimistic thing I have heard on this battle in a long time.

I would think that letting Anastasia out would be a very good thing for you, if only for this reason.  ;) :laugh:







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Offline Anastasia

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Re: Trans and smoking
« Reply #5 on: November 13, 2020, 09:35:44 pm »
Chances are you were too busy having fun with shopping to have a smoke, so your brain did not register that you needed the nicotine. When you finally got to unwind and relax, you needed that nicotine. I have gone 12 hours without needing nicotine when really busy with something I could not take a break from.

I had thought about this too but the bank, post office, grocery store and a bill payment is not fun. But I was still distracted by being myself.

I would think that letting Anastasia out would be a very good thing for you, if only for this reason.  ;) :laugh:


Yes, it would.

Offline Battle Goddess

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Re: Trans and smoking
« Reply #6 on: November 14, 2020, 09:24:22 am »
I would think that letting Anastasia out would be a very good thing for you, if only for this reason.  ;)

Word!

Hard part is, you can't unpickle a pickle, and once you got an addiction, you'll have it forever. But I won't be surprised when Anastasia doesn't feel all the miseries that drove your old self to seek out that little dopamine kick comes in a cigarette wrapper.

But oh, that dopamine! Kick the devil out the house, he stays in the yard doing pushups. Anastasia gonna have to stay on her toes she doesn't open the door back up to him.
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Offline SarahEL

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Re: Trans and smoking
« Reply #7 on: November 14, 2020, 02:11:10 pm »
Well, I am trans? and I smoke.... well vape now.. haven't had a ciggarette for something like 7 years and as long as I can get my vape fix, I doubt I ever will...

But... when I read your original post.. the one part that smoke, the other that doesn't..  It sprang to mind when I was dealing with dissociative identity disorder.. for with my multiple personalities, I had one who did not smoke and the rest had about 20 a day.  and the internal dialogue you wrote about could of come straight from my notes back then.... So my advice would be to talk to your therapist.. but it probably is just, you are more relaxed as female and then when the stresses of 'male life' hit you.. you need that nicotine....
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Offline Rachel

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Re: Trans and smoking
« Reply #8 on: November 14, 2020, 09:36:32 pm »
Hi, I quit 22 years ago when my daughter was 1.

If you were to have surgery smoking reduces healing capabilities. Nicotine is a vaso dilator and will constrict small capillaries and blood flow.

I quit because I had some serious health issues I was battling at the time. I had a lot of transition related surgeries and it helped heeps that I do not smoke.
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Offline sandrauk

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Re: Trans and smoking
« Reply #9 on: November 15, 2020, 12:54:30 am »
It was a similar event (a 13 hour flight ) that made me realise my addiction was no longer physical, but was just in my head. Once I realised that, giving up was the easiest thing as I could see how stupid smoking was. I'm 12 years without smoking now

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