Author Topic: How did you know?  (Read 1098 times)

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Offline Susannah

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Re: How did you know?
« Reply #20 on: September 20, 2020, 09:44:59 pm »
When I look back at my childhood, it is very obvious now that I knew from very young age. I showed signs when I was young as 5 years old.  Of course, this is hindsight now.  I questioned my gender identity for a long time as well.  I am still not quite transitioning yet.  Well, maybe I am with talking spironolactone currently.  It is very difficult to sort these out by myself.  I am taking it really slow since transitioning is not really an option for me right now.

Offline JoJoWolfe

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Re: How did you know?
« Reply #21 on: November 13, 2020, 02:01:25 pm »
I was 8 when I first remember having a problem being a boy and not quite ‘getting it’. That was in 1965 and of course we didn’t have the internet then as we didn’t for the next 30 years but by then I sort of plodded along and mimicked what was expected.

Six years ago, a couple of girls got me ‘dressed up’ to crash a hen party. It was great fun, I loved being part of a group of women having fun ... then it struck me I was having fun with a group of women having fun .. as a woman! I was also enjoying wearing a skirt far more than I should have done. Oh my. I of course hit the internet to see what kind of perverted mental illness I had when all this information came out about gender .. take about an earth shattering moment. The missing pieces from the last 50 years started to click into place. I went through the five stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It’s taken me six years to work through that.

Very firmly into acceptance and started my HRT on 1st September.

Offline Lady Sarah

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Re: How did you know?
« Reply #22 on: November 13, 2020, 09:42:21 pm »
When I was 3, I was allowed to find friends around the neighborhood. Mind you, this was 1969. It just so happened that my new friends were girls, and I was just like them. I got in trouble for that. I was told to find some boys to play with. I got beat up for being a girl. I got beat up for being a girl all the way up until high school when I finally grew big enough to be able to fight back... but I was still seen as a girl.

And you know what? I had the sense I should have been a girl all that time too. What others were seeing was just the inner me trying get out, and they were trying to pound her back in.
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Offline Virelai

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Re: How did you know?
« Reply #23 on: November 13, 2020, 09:53:41 pm »
It's a good question, and kind of difficult for me to pinpoint exactly how it worked out. I can say that, in my teens, when I first stumbled upon the idea of being transgender, I instantaneously went "That's what I am!", but obviously, a lot had already been recognized for myself to be able to instantly know that then.

And recently, my childhood feelings have become a bit more mysterious (but very reassuring). I always thought it was 5th grade when the feelings began, because back then I began to feel really jealous of girls, I really wanted to be a girl. And in the couple of years or so leading up to when I finally found out that being transgender was a real thing and not just a me thing, everything began adding up. I felt more at home in groups of girls, and when I was given "the talk", I was looking at the girls' section of the book my parents gave me and thinking "that's the experience I should be having".

Interestingly enough, that's not where it began, even though that's the only memories I currently have. Things got really interesting when earlier this year my parents discovered some old drawing pads from my early childhood, and one had a place where I wrote "I'm a girl". And then when I discussed this with my aunt, she said that she recalls listening in to conversations I had with my grandma (who sadly passed away, so I can't ask her) back in those days where I was saying those same kinds of things.

Finding out those things this year really dispelled any doubts I still had over these years.



Online sarahc

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Re: How did you know?
« Reply #24 on: November 13, 2020, 10:29:21 pm »
All of this is remarkably consistent with my experience.

As a college student, upon learning about the concept being transgender and reading the experiences of other trans folks, I too immediately concluded that I was transgender. No doubts - the evidence was overwhelming

I told no one for almost 30 years until I decided that I was at a point where I was ready to transition. In starting to come out, people were shocked, but despite her shock, my mother recalled a couple incidents when I was quite young that were identical to your conversations with your grandmother. And for that reason, she surprisingly accepted the genuineness of my long-standing feelings (though she strongly disagreed with my decision to transition).

Sarah


It's a good question, and kind of difficult for me to pinpoint exactly how it worked out. I can say that, in my teens, when I first stumbled upon the idea of being transgender, I instantaneously went "That's what I am!", but obviously, a lot had already been recognized for myself to be able to instantly know that then.

And recently, my childhood feelings have become a bit more mysterious (but very reassuring). I always thought it was 5th grade when the feelings began, because back then I began to feel really jealous of girls, I really wanted to be a girl. And in the couple of years or so leading up to when I finally found out that being transgender was a real thing and not just a me thing, everything began adding up. I felt more at home in groups of girls, and when I was given "the talk", I was looking at the girls' section of the book my parents gave me and thinking "that's the experience I should be having".

Interestingly enough, that's not where it began, even though that's the only memories I currently have. Things got really interesting when earlier this year my parents discovered some old drawing pads from my early childhood, and one had a place where I wrote "I'm a girl". And then when I discussed this with my aunt, she said that she recalls listening in to conversations I had with my grandma (who sadly passed away, so I can't ask her) back in those days where I was saying those same kinds of things.

Finding out those things this year really dispelled any doubts I still had over these years.
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Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.phpVF/topic,244009.0.html)
VFS: September 2019; three-month report here
Full-time: April 2020
FFS: August 2020
SRS: January 2021

Offline Allie Jayne

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Re: How did you know?
« Reply #25 on: November 14, 2020, 05:04:42 am »
I told my mother when I was 4 (in 1958)  that I was a girl, and she said it was just my imagination. I tried to imagine other things but my gender ID remained constant. After a stressful teasing incident with my family, I told my mother in no uncertain terms that I was a girl at age 7, and she believed me, but made me promise never to let anyone else know or I would be taken to an asylum and shocked until I changed my mind. I knew from trying so many things in previous years that I could never change my mind.

I didn't know what the term was when I was a child, or why I had this unrelenting gender ID difference, but I knew I was a girl, and realised nothing I could do could ever change that. As a toddler, I had recognised my gender identity, and as a young child I had worked out that I couldn't change it. It's only been with the research of recent years showing the developmental differences in our brains that I finally learned the reason for my condition, but it hasn't changed the fact my brain has been telling me I was female from as soon as I was aware there were genders.

Hugs,

Allie

Offline Margrit

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Re: How did you know?
« Reply #26 on: November 15, 2020, 02:12:14 am »
You started a great thread TJ

I always knew but ages ago in my childhood and adeloszenz was no such word for things like that.
The internet did not exist too........

Well, so I must say I always knew what I am just with out knowing the exact word.

I just hoping you guys are able to understand what I am trying to explain.
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Online ChrissyRyan

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Re: How did you know?
« Reply #27 on: November 15, 2020, 06:41:25 am »
You started a great thread TJ

I always knew but ages ago in my childhood and adeloszenz was no such word for things like that.
The internet did not exist too........

Well, so I must say I always knew what I am just with out knowing the exact word.

I just hoping you guys are able to understand what I am trying to explain.


Sometimes someone simply thinks or knows that they know they knew.  I can understand that stance.  Additionally, it is not always easy to explain “why” at times about some matters without going into a long explanation that may end up sounding unclear to some.


Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline pamelatransuk

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Re: How did you know?
« Reply #28 on: November 15, 2020, 07:47:21 am »
Hello again

I posted previously at reply 12 but now seeing recent replies 21-27, I will clarify further as my history is so close to recent posters' history

I recall telling my grandmother aged 4 in 1959 that I was a girl.
My mother recalls me telling her (my mother) aged 2 but obviously my memory does not go that far back.
My mother did not object to me thinking I was a girl right up to her death in 2015 but strongly objected to my lifelong practices of bodyshaving and crossdressing. I had to settle for passive acceptance.

As others point out, the trans subject was hardly discussed before the days of the Internet. We were forced to live a secretive life sadly.

Hugs

Pamela xx






Online ChrissyRyan

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Re: How did you know?
« Reply #29 on: November 15, 2020, 09:56:58 am »
I suppose the definitive moment of knowing I am a MTF is when I realized that I desired and enjoyed interacting with others as a woman. This was especially so with other women.  Self acceptance was a challenge.

Hugs,

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Online sarahc

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Re: How did you know?
« Reply #30 on: November 15, 2020, 10:39:58 am »
You started a great thread TJ

I always knew but ages ago in my childhood and adeloszenz was no such word for things like that.
The internet did not exist too........

Well, so I must say I always knew what I am just with out knowing the exact word.

I just hoping you guys are able to understand what I am trying to explain.

I know exactly what you are saying!

The Internet (such as it was back in 1992-1993 - no World Wide Web back then!) was absolutely essential for helping me understand that I was not alone in the world and that there were others out there like me and that we were transgender. In particular, the Internet showed me that being transgender and being a transvestite were not the same thing - I had of course known about transvestites but I didn’t identify with them. But I did identify with transgender people. That was really a breakthrough for me.

The Internet community has also been helping us connect and form larger communities (like Susan’s) than would be possible without the Internet, allowing us to demonstrate how large of a community we are.

Sarah
----
48 years young.
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.phpVF/topic,244009.0.html)
VFS: September 2019; three-month report here
Full-time: April 2020
FFS: August 2020
SRS: January 2021

Offline pamelatransuk

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Re: How did you know?
« Reply #31 on: November 15, 2020, 12:33:37 pm »
Yes indeed, Sarah.

The little discussion there was before the Internet on what we now refer to as the Transgender subject, mainly covered Transvestism.  We all know transvestites are a valid and worthy sector within the Transgender community. The Internet succeeded in extending/expanding our community.

Hugs

Pamela xx






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