Author Topic: As a mtf, when you do not "pass", what do you think was the cause?  (Read 3866 times)

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Offline AllieSF

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Re: As a mtf, when you do not "pass", what do you think was the cause?
« Reply #80 on: September 02, 2020, 02:53:37 pm »
Yes, Pammie I already know that because you have stated that a few timers before.  If you are happy then that makes me happy.  I was not telling you or anyone else how to live your lives.  I was agreeing with what Sarah said.  Why did you comment to me and not to Sarah?

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Offline Pammie

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Re: As a mtf, when you do not "pass", what do you think was the cause?
« Reply #81 on: September 02, 2020, 03:08:01 pm »
Yes, Pammie I already know that because you have stated that a few timers before.  If you are happy then that makes me happy.  I was not telling you or anyone else how to live your lives.  I was agreeing with what Sarah said.  Why did you comment to me and not to Sarah?

Hugs  ....  Allie
Just that your comment was the last - no other reason
I wasn’t suggesting you were telling me or anyone how to live just offering an alternative perspective


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Offline alyssalove2790

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Re: As a mtf, when you do not "pass", what do you think was the cause?
« Reply #82 on: September 03, 2020, 05:50:08 pm »
Most of the times it happens it's when I go to stores that had some old data about me... like this one time with furniture store I went and was asked if I had an account with them... I did but it was my male self so I outed myself but with confidence. The clerk (female), was like... ''Omg I couldn't have guessed!'' then went super intrigued and friendly with me!  :)

I just seem to... inspire people when I out myself  :laugh:
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Offline ChrissyRyan

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As a mtf, when you do not "pass", what do you think was the cause?
« Reply #83 on: September 03, 2020, 06:00:04 pm »
As I am not blessed in the face nearly as much as @Northern Star Girl and numerous others here, I may pursue FFS should I reach the point where I can no longer tolerate it to be experiencing living in the wrong gender.  FFS may not guarantee male fail all the time, but may be a helpful step.  I just want to blend in daily.

First though, I need to get my voice right.  That would do wonders for my gender well being by itself.  Maybe with the voice right, I will feel comfortable enough without FFS.  I have been working on this.  We shall see!

Chrissy

Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline TanandaTheTrollop

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Re: As a mtf, when you do not "pass", what do you think was the cause?
« Reply #84 on: September 03, 2020, 08:22:41 pm »
The voice is so huge. Facial hair too if someone has dark hair but that can be covered up right? I harp on the voice a lot because voice is the one thing we can all do to pass. I do believe it is much harder if we are not full time though. Stupid huh? The thing we need is easier to acquire after we jump into the fire. Gotta say though, it can be done. Many here have heard my voice, I may be delusional but... I can’t imagine anyone ever clocking me because of my voice.

One day, one step, one syllable at a time.

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Offline CaelaNotKayla

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Re: As a mtf, when you do not "pass", what do you think was the cause?
« Reply #85 on: September 03, 2020, 11:04:50 pm »
Most of the times it happens it's when I go to stores that had some old data about me... like this one time with furniture store I went and was asked if I had an account with them... I did but it was my male self so I outed myself but with confidence. The clerk (female), was like... ''Omg I couldn't have guessed!'' then went super intrigued and friendly with me!  :)

I just seem to... inspire people when I out myself  :laugh:

I've been coming to accept when I give a retailer a bit of info, and they come up with my late wife's name- I just say "that's us" and avoid that out! ( I don't generally shop where male-mode me shops, but apparently my wife shopped where I do- rather often! )

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Offline SarahEL

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Re: As a mtf, when you do not "pass", what do you think was the cause?
« Reply #86 on: September 04, 2020, 03:03:10 am »
The voice is so huge. Facial hair too if someone has dark hair but that can be covered up right? I harp on the voice a lot because voice is the one thing we can all do to pass. I do believe it is much harder if we are not full time though. Stupid huh? The thing we need is easier to acquire after we jump into the fire. Gotta say though, it can be done. Many here have heard my voice, I may be delusional but... I can’t imagine anyone ever clocking me because of my voice.

One day, one step, one syllable at a time.

TtT

I agree with this - Voice has been one of my biggest hurdles in passing - Living a half and half life meant having to change my voice between the two and it just damages the training I had done and makes getting my female voice all that harder... Hopefully as I go FT now my female voice will start to become just a natural part of me - the other one now is a big source of GD...  (which it never used to be?).
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Offline Pammie

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As a mtf, when you do not "pass", what do you think was the cause?
« Reply #87 on: September 04, 2020, 03:50:10 am »
I agree with this - Voice has been one of my biggest hurdles in passing - Living a half and half life meant having to change my voice between the two and it just damages the training I had done and makes getting my female voice all that harder... Hopefully as I go FT now my female voice will start to become just a natural part of me - the other one now is a big source of GD...  (which it never used to be?).
Totally agree re voice - I’ve been full time for over 3 years but I had a voice that had had 56 years to consolidate so it’s really an ongoing challenge. I’ve had 25+ sessions with my wonderful voice therapist Maggi (in Leeds) and I’ve made great progress but still WIP!
On the plus side every day is 20+ opportunities to practise and I constantly assess and critique my own voice


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Offline Maid Marion

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Re: As a mtf, when you do not "pass", what do you think was the cause?
« Reply #88 on: September 04, 2020, 09:46:46 am »
I got clocked his morning in the grocery store.  GGs don't gracefully carry a shopping basket full of heavy groceries.  ;)

Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: As a mtf, when you do not "pass", what do you think was the cause?
« Reply #89 on: September 04, 2020, 12:41:24 pm »
I got clocked his morning in the grocery store.  GGs don't gracefully carry a shopping basket full of heavy groceries.  ;)

@Maid Marion
Dear Marion:

I am sad to read that happened to you.... a bad experience for sure. 
There are all kinds of mannerisms and body actions that can be negatively revealing to the casual onlooker.... or perhaps the casual onlooker was being more that casual and looking too closely at a beautiful woman?   Think positive.

We learn from our mistakes? So perhaps next time use a shopping cart all the way to your vehicle....

HUGS and more HUGS,
Danielle
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Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
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Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: As a mtf, when you do not "pass", what do you think was the cause?
« Reply #90 on: September 04, 2020, 05:44:35 pm »
I got clocked his morning in the grocery store.  GGs don't gracefully carry a shopping basket full of heavy groceries.  ;)

Not sure how you could be clocked (as male) Marion.   :)

Chrissy
Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline CaelaNotKayla

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Re: As a mtf, when you do not "pass", what do you think was the cause?
« Reply #91 on: September 04, 2020, 06:08:57 pm »
I know I'm a big girl, but it still jarring to my confidence when I'm out with the kiddos, and a guy comes up and asks me to help him load a table into the back of his car! I even got the dreaded "dude you gotta help me!"  ;D

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Offline Maid Marion

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Re: As a mtf, when you do not "pass", what do you think was the cause?
« Reply #92 on: September 04, 2020, 07:03:48 pm »
It may just be that I've been shopping there forever and he has been working behind the scenes cutting meat so he knows me from a long time ago. 

The upside is that  he knows we are out there. 

Marion

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: As a mtf, when you do not "pass", what do you think was the cause?
« Reply #93 on: September 04, 2020, 07:19:32 pm »
It may just be that I've been shopping there forever and he has been working behind the scenes cutting meat so he knows me from a long time ago. 

The upside is that  he knows we are out there. 

Marion


Maybe!

Chrissy
Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline Pammie

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Re: As a mtf, when you do not "pass", what do you think was the cause?
« Reply #94 on: September 05, 2020, 05:13:35 am »
It may just be that I've been shopping there forever and he has been working behind the scenes cutting meat so he knows me from a long time ago. 

The upside is that  he knows we are out there. 

Marion
Tbh it shows that anyone can be clocked in the wrong circumstances because you just do pass completely xx


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Offline lulita

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Re: As a mtf, when you do not "pass", what do you think was the cause?
« Reply #95 on: September 12, 2020, 11:13:31 pm »
One day, I was walking with my backpack in my back. I was just entering a store, when a guy said "What do you need DUDE". I said "nothing" and I just leave the store.
I simply put the backpack in my lateral/front (like a purse), and no one misgendered me again all day long.

If I tried entering the store with my backpack like a purse, would the guy misgender me anyway? I will never know...

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